One time during senior year in high school, Luc convinced me to cut school and go to the beach with him. I went, but all I did was sit on the sand and study for my calculus final.
Now I wished I’d seized that opportunity. I hoped I’d have the chance again one day.
It didn’t take long to reach the restaurant. After we pulled up to the front door, Milton came around and opened my side, holding his hand out.
I frowned at it, gave him five, and promptly tripped out of the car. “Oops!”
As he helped me right myself I swear I saw his lips twitch. To make sure, I got up on tiptoes and leaned closer to look. “Are you smiling?”
“No, ma’am.”
Another twitch.
I wagged my finger at him. “I’m not so sure.”
“Katherine, stop accosting my driver.” Drake took my arm and propelled me toward the restaurant.
Turning, I looked at Milton over my shoulder. “I’m on to you. Don’t think I haven’t figured you out.”
Drake sighed and muttered something.
I shrugged indignantly. “He’s a wily one.”
“Oh—one more thing.” He stopped suddenly and plucked the glasses off my nose.
“Hey!” I protested as the world went hazy.
“Much better. Let’s go.”
The outside of the restaurant wasn’t impressive at all (especially through my limited eyesight), but once we stepped inside it was warm, cozy, and quietly elegant.
And it smelled great. I inhaled deeply and my stomach rumbled.
The hostess greeted us with a smile. She and Drake conferred, heads bent together, and then she motioned us to follow her.
The dining room was large and overcrowded with tables, most of them full. The buzz of people enjoying dinner filled the room. I eagerly squinted around, trying to see what people were eating. I would have stopped to quiz a man about the particularly delicious-looking plate he was gorging on, but Drake prodded me toward our table, which was right in the middle of the room.
Good. That way I’d be able to at least try to see what people were having for dessert.
“Could I take your coat?”
“Cape,” I corrected the hostess as I slipped it off my shoulders and handed it to her.
There was a momentary hush in the room. I looked around with a frown, wondering what the deal was. Maybe someone farted.
Then I saw Luc.
I know—I didn’t have my glasses on. But he felt like Luc, and for some reason I could see his bright piercing blue eyes without any trouble whatsoever.
He was seated to one side and stared right at me. I lifted my hand and gave him a jaunty wave. That was before I saw the golden blob sitting across from him.
Drake pulled out my chair and I sank down gratefully. Why did I think I could pull this off again?
“Do you need another drink?”
I shuddered, gaping at my dinner companion in disbelief. “Do you want to pour me back into the car?”
He chuckled and opened his menu.
Surprisingly, we had a great time. Drake was an entertaining date. It helped that I couldn’t see, so I wasn’t overly concerned about the glares we were drawing from Luc and Lydia.
Um. Okay—maybe I was a little concerned. Anyone would be with that kind of animosity directed toward her. But I concentrated on my food (absolutely scrumptious) and the company.
By dessert, I had to say it. I waved a fork at Drake. “You’re really a great guy.”
He grinned. “You don’t have to sound so surprised.”
I shrugged and took another bite of cake. (I love cake.) “It’s just, what would such a great guy want with Lydia? She’s a barracuda.” I clapped a hand over my mouth. “Um, I meant that in all the best ways.”
He laughed. “I’m sure you did.”
“But really. Why Lydia?”
He sipped his espresso (I found it amazing that a man could look so virile delicately drinking from a tiny cup, but Drake managed it). “You can’t help who you love. And Lydia used to be different. More open.”
I wrinkled my nose, trying to imagine it.
Nope. I shook my head. Impossible.
“She still has that in her. I catch it in her eyes sometimes.”
He had a faraway, determined look in his eyes that made me sigh. I wished someone loved me that strongly.
“Surprising seeing you here, Kat.”
I looked up to find Luc and Lydia towering over us. Luc nodded to Drake, but Lydia just glared. At Drake—I think I was beneath her notice. Though I shouldn’t have been in my dynamite red dress.
Squinting, I studied Luc while he was staring Drake down, trying to figure out if he was angry because we’d invaded their private dinner or because, like Drake believed, he was upset I was here with another man. I shook my head. I couldn’t tell—it looked like his stomach was upset from all the rich food.
So I smiled wide. At least the whiskey and the good food had mellowed me enough that it felt kind of genuine. “Hi, you guys.”
Luc transferred his dark look to me, and I gritted my teeth to keep my smile in place.
“Enjoy your dinner?” Drake asked. “I haven’t been here in—it must be fifteen years, wouldn’t you say, Lydia? I was surprised to find it as good as I remembered.”
The narrow gaze she gave him would have frozen the most fiery pit of hell.
“But that might be due to the company.” He rested his hand on mine, caressing the space between two of my knuckles with the tip of his finger.
My face flamed. I started to pull my hand away, conscious of Luc’s gaze, but Drake kept it tightly in his.
For a moment I thought Lydia was going to strike me dead right then and there. But she drew herself up, slipped an arm through Luc’s, and pulled him closer. “You may be right about that.”
“Kat, could I talk to you a moment?”
“Again?” I frowned at Luc. He’d wanted to talk that morning, and in the end he hadn’t said anything.
Drake let me go and stood up to pull my chair out. “I don’t mind. I’ll keep Lydia company.”
In other words, get lost, kid.
I could take a hint. I got up and walked out of the dining room to the entryway, conscious of Luc’s gaze on my back. (I was very proud that I resisted the urge to tug at my dress. I even managed to shimmy my hips a little as I walked. I think.)
When we got to the foyer, Luc took my arm and led me to a dark corner, close to the hallway leading to the restrooms.
I turned around, my lips pursed. “So what’s—”
He pushed me against the wall with his body and kissed me.
Only it wasn’t a kiss. It was like being completely ravaged. His mouth ate at mine like he hadn’t had a bite of dinner, and his fingers bit into my flesh. He palmed his way up my butt, my hips, my midriff, until he reached my breasts. He squeezed the tips, surprisingly gentle, and I just about fainted.
He swallowed my gasp in his mouth and pressed himself against me so I felt the hardness of him rubbing my belly.
Did I do that?
My heart lifted. Maybe Drake was right. Maybe Luc did like me—more than just as a friend. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him with everything I had.
He groaned. “Katherine.”
I started to protest when he left my lips, but he nipped my neck and every thought of complaining dissipated. All I was aware of were the sparks shooting through my system.
He quickly nibbled his way down my neck and chest, pushing my dress aside just enough to clamp his mouth on one aching nipple.
Stars burst behind my eyelids. I would have sunk to the floor if he hadn’t been holding me. I tangled my fingers in his hair, holding on for dear life.
Then he stepped back, glaring at me so frigidly my blood, which had been heated to boiling point, immediately turned to ice.
Cold air made my nipples contract even more. I looked down and flushed, putting my dress back in place. “Uh ... Um—”
“Shit,” he said succinctly.
At the moment, I was in total agreement. But I cleared my throat and said, “What was that for?”
Luc gaped at me in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
I wanted him to say that he wasn’t choosing Lydia. That it was, in fact, me he was in love with and wanted to marry. Me that he wanted to finger paint for life. I wanted to ask him why he stopped kissing me and beg him to do it all over again.
Instead I heard myself say, “Won’t Lydia mind?”
His brow furrowed. Then he shook his head, swiped his hand through his hair, and took another step back.
Then another.
And then he turned around and walked straight into the men’s room. He shoved the swinging door open so hard it crashed against the wall and then slammed shut. I jumped at the sound, a horrible bang that felt like a death knell in my heart.
I touched my lips. I felt like they didn’t belong to me anymore. I traced their shape, trying to get to know them again. To wipe away the tingling left behind from Luc’s brand.
Somehow I doubted they’d ever feel the same again.
Chapter Sixteen
I dreaded going to work Monday morning. Dreaded with a capital
D.
For one, I was tired. Drake and I had gotten back fairly early the previous afternoon, but I hadn’t slept well at the inn. I chalked it up to being in a foreign bed, but I didn’t sleep any better in my own last night. Blame it on Luc’s sizzling kiss, because it haunted my every dream (or nightmare, depending on how you looked at it).
Two, I wasn’t sure I still had a job. If Lydia’s attitude last weekend was any indication, I was history. In fact, I expected to be escorted out of the building as soon as I got there.
To cap it all off, my dad knocked on the door as I was squeezing into my nylons. I knew who it was by the jaunty rapping.
“As if I need this now,” I muttered as I rushed to get the nylons up. Big mistake, because in my haste I punctured the right side with my fingernail.
I growled, kicked them off, and stomped barefoot to answer the door.
“Katie bug!” He grinned and threw his arms open wide.
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you doing here, Dad?”
His brows furrowed and his lips pursed indignantly. “Does a man need a reason to visit his only flesh and blood?”
Hadn’t we had this conversation before? But instead of saying anything, I moved aside and waved him in. Better to take care of this inside rather than telegraphing our problems to everyone else on the floor.
I watched him stumble to the couch and drop down onto it. Drunk. Typical. Crossing my arms, I counted to ten to control the anger rising and then said, “What is it this time?”
“I don’t know where you get your suspicious nature. It certainly wasn’t from me.” He shook his head. Then he winced and put a hand on top, as if to hold it in.
I recognized the symptoms of a hangover, having recently gone through one myself. I just glared at him. I had no sympathy.
He cracked open an eye and sighed. “Okay. Okay. You got me. I need your help.”
Of course. I knew that, but part of me still wilted at the admission. Why couldn’t he come over to comfort me for a change? Why couldn’t he be a real dad, like he used to be when my mom was alive, and ask me how I was doing? Maybe even ask me if
I
needed
his
help?
But he went on, oblivious that my world was collapsing around me. “I ran into Leon last night and we had a couple drinks—”
I groaned.
“Now, hear me out, Katie. It’s not as bad as all that—”
As if I hadn’t heard
that
before. “How much, Dad?”
“I was winning and then—”
“
How much
?”
He cleared his throat, told me, and gazed at me intently, probably to gauge my reaction.
I nodded, totally calm. He was right—it wasn’t as bad as his last loss with Ivan.
Exclaiming in relief, he grinned at me. “I knew you’d come through for me, Katie bug.”
“No.”
He blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”
To tell the truth, I shocked myself. “No,” I repeated tentatively. Because it felt so good saying it, I straightened and said it again with more conviction. “No. I’m not helping you out of this one.”
He gaped at me for a full minute before he flashed his charming smile at me and chuckled. “You had me going there for a second, Katie bug. You’re trying to teach your old man a lesson, aren’t you? Well, I promise I’ll never—”
“Dad, I’m sick of listening to your empty promises.” Years of anger and frustration bubbled up inside me and spilled over. I strode to stand over him, pointing a finger right in his face. “This is it. From this moment on, things are changing.”
He opened his mouth.
No way was I going to let him smooth talk me out of this, so I cut him off with the one thing I knew would shut him up. “It’s past time you got over Mom.”
Sure enough, his mouth clamped shut. He crossed his arms and glared at me.
I mimicked him, not about to be cowed. “I’ve put up with your drinking and gambling for over twenty years because I felt sorry for you. But you know what? I lost my mom too, and if I can deal with it, so can you.”
“A wee exaggeration, don’t you think?” He pointedly looked at my ringless finger, then at my pathetic apartment. “Doesn’t look like you’re dealing with it too well.”
Oh—low blow. I recoiled, feeling like I’d been slapped.
“Just calling it like I see it.” He sniffed indignantly.
The worst part was that he was right.
Oh, the revelation. The proverbial light bulb went on, bright and unrelenting. I frowned. Damn. I hated that. “You’re right.”
He blinked. “I am?”
I nodded. “I didn’t get over it. Not only have I been trying to fill the gap she left when she died but also the one you left when you abandoned me.”
“Now, just wait a second.” He scowled, pointing a blunt finger at me. “I never abandoned you.”
“You haven’t been there for me since the day Mom checked into the hospital the last time.”
“I have!” he protested.
No, he hadn’t. I didn’t even have to try hard to prove it. “When did I have my first date?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “Well—”
“What job did I have in high school to pay for our bills?”
He cleared his throat. “Katie—”
“What did I say in my valedictorian speech at graduation?”
He opened his mouth, but this time he couldn’t say anything.
“Because you never came to my graduation, did you, Dad?”
By the look on his face, it seemed like I’d finally gotten through to him. I waited to see if he had anything to say. When he didn’t volunteer anything, I went on.
“I’ve taken care of you all these years to make up for Mom not being here. But Luc’s right, I’ve been letting you take advantage of me. I should have let you take responsibility for yourself.” Turns out Luc had been right about a lot of things; I was just starting to realize how much.
The anger and bitterness drained out of me, leaving me just plain sad. I plopped onto the couch next to him and took his big hand in both of mine. I flashed back on how, before my mom got sick, he used to take me on long hikes up Mt. Diablo, just the two of us. He’d hold my hand in his, and I’d feel secure, loved, and protected. He’d listen to my dreams and tell me his in return.
Now, he tried to pull away. I didn’t let him. I held tight and waited till he returned my gaze.
Gently, I said, “I’ve been understanding and giving all these years. Now it’s time for you to give.”
“You don’t know what it’s like,” he whispered hoarsely.
“Oh, yes, I do. I know better than anyone.”
He swallowed loudly, but I could tell he saw the truth in my statement.
I squeezed his hand. “You know what I want more than anything?”
His brow wrinkled suspiciously. “What?”
“I want my daddy back.”
He swallowed again. For a moment I thought he was going to pull away and go back to being his normal blustery self. He coughed a couple of times, but then he stilled and nodded. “What do you want me to do?”
I went to my purse and pulled out the information on AA that I’d printed out. I marched back and held it out to him.
He looked at it like it was a poisonous snake.
“I want you to clean up.”
“But—”
I shook my head. “It’s time, Dad. I’m not giving you any more money.”
“But Leon—”
Leon wasn’t psychotic like Ivan, so he wouldn’t be tying Dad to the train tracks to get his money back. “Leon will wait till you earn enough money to pay him back.”
He exhaled in defeat, taking the information with a shaking hand. “Okay, Katie bug.”
I should have felt happy, but I only felt tired. It wasn’t like my dad had committed to going to the AA meetings. For all I knew, he’d go right back out, find Leon, and increase his debt.
Still, I was hopeful. That damn optimism again.
I sighed. “Dad, I’m late for work.”
He nodded, stood up, and headed out. At the door, he turned around, suddenly looking very sober. “I know you don’t put much store in my promises, Katie, but I promise I’ll try.”
Not the amount of conviction I wanted, but it was better than nothing. “That’s all I can ask.”
He nodded and closed the door behind him.
When I got to work, I was a little surprised they let me in. But I made it to my office and even managed to boot my computer and check my messages before anything happened.
Wha-
bam
.
My door flew open and slammed against the wall. I let out a shriek and jumped up, hitting my knee.
Oh hell—I tore my nylons. Again. I hated ruining a new pair. Frowning, I looked up to unleash my wrath on whoever it was who had caused this catastrophe.
Lydia.
And she looked infuriated.
Gulp.
I sank back down and tried to smile professionally. “Good morning, Lydia. Can I help you with anything?”
“You backstabbing little bitch!”
I blinked. Me?
She stalked closer, her eyes slits of rage. For the first time I noticed that she looked pale except for two burning spots on her cheeks. Her hair flew around her head, wild and messy, and her clothes looked slept in. In other words, she looked human.
Oh shit. The world was coming to an end.
“I can’t believe you would do this to me.” The closer she got, the more I pushed my chair away to put distance between us. I wasn’t entirely sure she wouldn’t attack me. “The nerve you had showing up at Harmony by the Sea. He told you, didn’t he?”
“Uh—” I backed up until my chair was wedged between the wall and the desk.
“The bastard planned this all along, didn’t he? It wasn’t enough that he destroyed me all those years ago, he had to come back and rip open all the wounds and pour cyanide in them.”
Graphic. “Um, Lydia, which bastard do you mean—”
“Well, I’m not standing for it,” she yelled, poking a finger in my direction. “I’m taking him down before he can do it to me again. And you’re going with him.”
I frowned. “Wait a sec—”
“I can’t believe you’d do this to me,” she repeated. “I gave you every opportunity to achieve your goals. And what do you do? Stab me in the back.” She laughed harshly. “I’ll show you what happens when you screw with me. After everything I’ve done for you. I’ve made you—”
“Wait a minute.” I’m not sure what happened. Maybe it was leftover spunkiness from this morning. Or maybe I was just sick of everything.
I stood up, got in her face, and poked a finger so close that under normal circumstances I would’ve been scared she’d bite it off. “What have you done for me? You gave me a job and a chance to prove myself, for which I’m forever grateful, but I’ve slaved for you and what do I have now? Nothing.”
I think I might have spit on her with that last word, but I didn’t care. I kept going. “I work so much I have no life. I’d do anything for you, which I think I’ve proven with this stupid assignment you gave me, but here I am on the verge of losing my job. Not only that, but because I rush to do your bidding I’ve lost my best friend and I’m even further from my dream than I was before.”
I frowned. That wasn’t true. I lost my best friend because I put work ahead of our relationship. It was my fault completely.
Shit. I shook my head. I needed to fix that. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.
Lydia grabbed my arm. “Do you think Drake cares for you? Because I can tell you he doesn’t. If you think your affair with Drake will guarantee you a position in his company, you’re sadly mistaken. He has a history of using people and then tossing them away.”
That wasn’t like him at all. I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Triumph flashed in her eyes. “Just what I said. Drake’s just using you.”
Yes, but I was using him too. We had a mutually beneficial relationship.
But Lydia didn’t know that.
Still, this didn’t make sense. Lydia was ruthless in business, but she was ruthless in a calculated, well-thought-out kind of way. This attack had no calculation to it whatsoever. In fact, I’d never seen her so out of control. I’d never imagined that she could get so out of control.
I cleared my throat and pulled out my chair. “Maybe you should have a seat. Can I get you some tea? My next door neighbor gave me some green tea that’s remarkable for—”
“I don’t want any goddamn green tea!” she screamed.
Yikes.
I was just about to launch into my horse-whispering voice (not that I’d ever talked any horses down, but I bet I’d be pretty darned good at it) when Drake rushed in.