Promise: The Scarred Girl (19 page)

“I'm excited,” Nea grins at him cheekily.

Unlike Nea, Arras hunts with a bow and arrow. Before they can begin, they need to build them. Arras proves to be a good teacher. He is patient and never patronizes Nea. Building the tools is easy. Hunting with them is much more difficult.

Nea's arrows barely fly ten feet before they crash. Arras', on the other hand, whiz through the air for many yards before hitting a tree so hard they can hear it smack in the tree. Although it is only natural, it annoys Nea that he is so much better at this than she is. Her ambition is aroused.

“Show me how you did that,” she asks him stubbornly.

Arras is obviously pleased at her interest. During their training, the two of them have become so hot that they have taken off their jackets.

Arras walks behind her and puts his hands tightly around the handle of her bow. Nea catches a glimpse of the tattoo on his upper arm. It shows a phoenix covered in flames.

“Concentrate,” Arras admonishes her, smiling, having noticed her gaze. Instead of looking forward again, Nea looks up and into Arras' warm eyes. Her proximity to him no longer makes her feel afraid. On the contrary, she feels connected to him. They have only spent a few hours alone together, but they are the most beautiful hours she has had for two years. She feels strong. She feels free. She feels complete.

Arras returns her gaze. It is not the furtive glance of two lovers, but the look of two people who were alone for too long and are only now realizing the value of society. Maybe Kasia was not so wrong after all; maybe Nea and Arras have more in common than Nea thought.

Slowly, she directs her gaze forward again. Arras wraps his hand around her own and they draw the bow together. “What is your target?” He asks softly, his breath tickling the skin of her neck.

“I do not know... one the trees?” Nea proposes, uncertain.

Arras shakes his head. “You have to know your target before you shoot.”

Nea's eyes wander about the forest. They expand when she discovers a magpie in one of the trees. Arras sees it as well.

They now have a common target. The arrow flies from the bow. It hits.

Later, Nea and Arras sit side by side and clean their loot. They are silent, not because they have nothing to say to each other, but because they do not need words to communicate. There is no reason to destroy this beautiful moment with words.

Only when they are finished with their work does Nea notice Arras looking at her. She returns his look questioningly.

“Who is with you?”

She does not understand the question. “What do you mean?”

“I can see that you carry someone with you.”

“What?”

“You have lost a person who is very important to you. Who is it?”

Nea feels caught and exposed. On the inside, she wants to get up and leave. Instead, she continues to sit facing the lake. She struggles with herself. Should she tell him? Just because they have spent a nice day together?

“How do you know that?” She asks instead, without looking at him.

“I can see it because I know what a broken person looks like. We are damaged goods. Let me guess, was it a man?”

She has always guessed that there must be a reason for Arras' reticence, but now to hear it from his mouth is something else. She has never seen him so open as in that moment. Nevertheless, Nea shakes her head. “Yes, but we were not a couple.”

“But you loved him.”

Nea does not answer. She does not need to. Arras understands anyway.

Nea and Miro lay on their jackets and enjoyed the first rays of the sun with their eyes closed. Around them, the light spring breeze whistled through the green grass of the meadow and the sound of the sea could be heard from beneath the cliffs. It was one of the rare moments when the world seemed to be almost normal again. It was a welcome break from the chaos and destruction.

Nea's fingers were clasped with Miro's. For a long time, this was as much touching as they would allow themselves. It was so good to feel his skin on hers. When she was with Miro, she always had the hope that one day the world would go back to normal.

She felt Miro's hand escape hers and opened her eyes. He stood leaning on his elbows and looked at her thoughtfully. His hand hovered above her head.

Timidly, he let his fingers glide through her brown hair. The touch tickled Nea's scalp and she suppressed a shiver. She did not like it when Miro looked at her so seriously. It was usually followed by an argument. She liked to see him laughing and joking. Looking serious did not suit him.

“What's wrong?” She asked, almost anxiously.

“I like to see you happy, is that a problem?”

Embarrassed, she strokes the curls from her face, while also moving Miro's hand from her head. “I'm not as pretty as the other girls you usually hold hands with.” She thinks about her statement, and adds, “I have more in my head than in my blouse.”

Miro smiled, yielding. “I know, Nea. You are not only pretty, but also intelligent. I would never question it.”

Nea felt her cheeks begin to burn. She knew this conversation would not be a good one, so she decided to change the subject.

“Let's go back to the village. I'm hungry.”

She stood up and shook the grass from her coat, but Miro made no attempt to follow her. He lay there and looked up at her. His brow was furrowed.

“Why are you so repellent toward me? I know how you feel for me, what are you afraid of?”

“We are friends, nothing more,” Nea protested. “I love you like a brother.”

“You're lying!” Miro uttered and stood up. He left his jacket lying in the grass. “What is your problem? Am I doing something wrong?”

Nea thought of all the girls she had so often caught him with. She did not have as much experience as they did. She was ashamed and was afraid of not being able to keep up with them. She was afraid to lose him. She would rather see him with others and remain by his side than to have to live without him. Could he not understand this?

“You cannot be faithful,” she uttered defensively. She could not say what she really thought. It would be too embarrassing.

“How can I be faithful when we are not even together?” Miro shouted back. He pulled at his dark hair desperately and turned his back to Nea. His gaze slid down the cliff, over the sea, and into the horizon in the distance.

For a moment, Nea feared he would start to cry. She had not seen him cry often, but every time he had, she also broke into tears.

But when Miro turned to her, a mischievous grin was upon his lips. “You only need to say three words.”

He did not need to explain to her just what words he meant. She knew. He could wait a long time before he heard them. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Miro took a step backwards toward the cliffs. The wind pressed against his back and his hair flew wildly around his face.

“Eight letters.”

He took another step back.

Nea's eyes widened in anger. Did he want to blackmail her? She wanted to tell him, but not like this!

“I'll never say those words to you,” she screamed.

The closer he got to the edge of the cliff, the stronger the wind became.

“Are you going to say them, or do you want me to fall?”

He continued stepping backward and was now only five steps away from the abyss below.

Nea shook her head. Her heart was pounding and she was afraid. She was too stubborn to give in. She could not be forced.

“Come back,” she asked, but this was not enough. Miro took another step back.

“Miro, please,” Nea pleaded desperately. “I like you more than anyone else. You know that.”

“That's not enough. Say it.”

Three steps.

“I cannot say it because it would be a lie. Do you think I would lie to you?” Tears welled up in her eyes. She wanted to run to him and pull him from the edge if he continued. She would beat him black and blue. She would beat him so hard that this kind of idea would never again enter his mind. He played with her.

He was right. She knew it. Of course she loved Miro. She loved him ever since they met.

Suddenly, Miro began to falter. Startled, he looked down and waved his arms to keep his balance. Panicked, he gazed over the abyss that was right behind him.

“Miro,” Nea cried sorrowfully. She quickly ran in his direction, but before she had a chance to accelerate her pace, the ground broke under his feet.

Their eyes met and she saw the recognition in his eyes. He knew it. He knew that this was the moment in which he would die.

Miro plunged into the depths before Nea realized what was happening.

She screamed and ran toward the edge of the cliff. It was too late for her to help. Even if she had been closer to him, she would have not been able to help and would have most likely toppled into the sea with him. But at that moment, she would rather have been dead than left behind.

She crouched on the edge of the cliff and stared into the sparkling water below. Miro was gone. The sea had buried him among itself.

Arras stands up and pulls his shirt off. Nea solidifies when she sees his back. His back is woven with scars. There are burn scars that stretch across his entire back.

Arras ignores her and pulls his boots and pants off and eases into the lake. Only after he has waded out a few feet does he turn back to Nea. He sees her shocked expression. “What is it? Are you going to tell me how sorry you are for what must have happened to me?” He asks in a hard tone.

Nea shakes her head. “No, that would not help you.”

Arras calms down visibly at her words. He comes out of the water.

“How did it happen?” Nea asks.

“No one has ever asked me that,” Arras replies, surprised.

“Perhaps because they are afraid of the truth,” Nea replies. She keeps Arras' gaze.

“It was in Promise,” Arras replies. Nea's eyes widen in horror. She had not expected that. But Arras gives her no chance to ask further questions as he leaves her on the lake shore.

(One Week Later)

N
ea has stopped counting the days she will lose because of Kasia. The child is still not in the world, but she has taken a liking to the quiet days. They have developed a routine: In the morning, they sleep until the sun comes up. Then Kasia starts to cook breakfast. She can cook surprisingly well. She creates stews with lots of vegetables from the surrounding gardens. Later, Nea and Arras go hunting or fishing. They never talk much, but that's the best part. It's almost like an unspoken rule that they should not impose tough questions during the hunt, and since both feel most uncomfortable about questions, they prefer to remain completely silent. In the late afternoon, the three of them sit around the fire and eat. Kasia does not like silence and always strikes up a conversation. As soon as it is dark, Kasia goes to bed. Arras sits with Nea in the living room. This is the time in which they talk to each other, no matter how uncomfortable the questions may be. They drink from Arras' hip flask, which is now filled with liquor from one of the other houses. However, no matter what they talk about at night, the next morning they pretend it never happened. Between Nea and Arras, a familiarity has developed that is likely to be difficult for others to comprehend. It's like Arras said: They are damaged goods.

Nea holds the bow. In the sky, a flock of geese flies overhead. It is spring and the birds are returning from the south.

She lets go of the arrow and it whizzes past her head. Now she is really good. She learns quickly. But this time she misses her target and the arrow crashes into the ground.

Sighing, she turns around to Arras. Has he noticed her failure? But he is no longer by her side, he was just there. Nea looks from the meadow to the edge of the forest. Where has he gone so quickly? Confused, she runs off and keeps going until she reaches the trees. It is unusually quiet. No birds sing and there is no rustling in the undergrowth. Something is not right here.

She walks slowly. Being mindful, she looks around on all sides. Suddenly she sees something red between the trees not far from her. She starts to bend over just as someone abruptly puts a hand to her mouth and pulls her back. Nea's eyes widen in panic. As the person pulls her back, she smells the well-known scent of charcoal and moss. A look at the arm holding her confirms her suspicions. It is Arras. She turns her head slightly to the side and looks at Arras' scarred face. “Carris,” he says quietly in her ear.

Nea looks immediately in the direction in which she had seen something red. She holds her breath and Arras removes his hand from her mouth. Now she can see their habits. There are three of them and they appear to be looking for someone. Even if they are not looking for her, it would be best if the Carris did not see her.

“Now what?” Nea whispers. Her shoulders are at Arras' chest. She can feel his rapid breathing.

“We need to get back to Kasia.”

Nea shakes her head. “We will only draw attention to ourselves if we move. Let's stay and wait here.”

Arras stares at her in horror. “We can't do that, she needs us!”

He does not care what Nea thinks and runs off without waiting for a further reply. Offended, Nea follows him. She does not care what Kasia thinks of her, but Arras is different.

She reaches the road after a few minutes. It is still just as deserted as before. Nevertheless, they sneak through the gardens to their house. Normally at this time, Kasia is in the garden cooking food, but the fire burns alone. Maybe she went into the house to get something.

Nea and Arras let the fire burn unnoticed as they enter the house. It is useless to put it out now. The Carris would know that it had been burning recently.

The house is quiet, but suddenly they hear a faint creak from the floor above. Arras draws his knife while Nea clutches her campaign staff a little tighter. They slowly ascend the stairs to prevent them from creaking too loudly.

Upstairs, they first look into Arras' room. There is no one there. They sneak on to the next room. Just as they arrive, a Carris walks out of the door at the end of the hallway, the bathroom. He is just as shocked by their presence as he is of theirs. Arras does not hesitate for a second and immediately runs at him. The Carris ducks under his first blow and rushes toward Nea. She smacks him with the campaign staff and kicks him in the stomach. He falls down. At this moment, three more Carris members rush up the stairs. They must have heard the noise. They immediately attack Nea. She has no chance against three, even if she tries to defend herself. Arras comes to help and manages to stab one of the Carris in the upper arm. The man screams in pain. Nea uses this moment to free herself.