Promised Land (14 page)

‘Look who it is, Kitty! I’m going over to say hello to her,’ she said, excusing herself. Regina waved, obviously having spotted her too.

‘Ah Regina, it’s so nice to see you,’ Ella said, hugging her. The two of them had played and gone to school together. Regina had moved to Dublin more than three years ago and they had lost touch.

‘Ella, I was sorry to hear about your father, God rest him. I couldn’t get back for the funeral but Mam and Dad said you gave him a great send-off.’

Ella swallowed hard, not wanting to discuss it. ‘Where are you staying, Regina?’

They swapped addresses and Ella discovered that Regina was working as a secretary in the Civil Service. ‘The work is dead boring but the pay is great.’

Standing there in the middle of the ballroom they talked as if they were just chatting over the hedge. Regina’s friends returned and she introduced Ella to each and every one of them, all delighted to meet someone else from Regina’s home town.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ella spotted that Kitty was up dancing with some good-looking fellow in a navy suit. The two of them twirled around the room, both good dancers. Kitty had her face thrown back, her chestnut hair picking up the lights, her lips open, laughing. She might not be the prettiest girl in the place but she certainly was one of the most attractive. Her partner had eyes for no-one else and held his arm possessively round her waist. Ella wished that a bit of her cousin’s style and appeal had rubbed off on her. Kitty could attract men with just a flick of her eyes or a quirk of her smile.

‘I see your Kitty hasn’t changed,’ joked Regina enviously. They both watched as Kitty passed by them again. ‘Didn’t I hear something about you and Sean?’

Ella took a deep breath. ‘There was something, I thought we might have ended up together but after Daddy died everything changed and I ended up coming here and the last I heard Sean’s gone away.’

‘D’ye still fancy him or is there someone else?’

‘Regina!’ she protested. She was about to mention Patrick but for some reason held back from discussing him with her old neighbour.

‘So that’s the way it is. Sean Flanagan’s still the man!’ said Regina ruefully.

Aine and June’s dates had turned up, two Cork men by the sounds of it; Ella watched as they clung to their partners during the slow set. She was trying to spot Kitty amid the crowds.

‘Excuse me,’ interrupted a fellow about the same age as herself, touching her arm. ‘Would you like to dance?’

Regina didn’t mind and Ella joined him on the dance floor. He was a good dancer, able to follow the beat of the music. She hated those types that hadn’t a note in their head and were all out of step and she had to lead. Bernard was a nice guy from Drogheda and good company. She noticed he wore a pioneer pin. Gretta maintained a girl was always safe with a man who wore a pioneer pin, forswearing drink for life. Regina was up dancing too. Ella loved dancing and she and Bernard kept dancing for the night, only stopping once to go and get a lemonade. She was walking past the seats when she spotted Kitty, wrapped round the fellah she’d been dancing with, the two of them kissing deeply. During the slow set when Bernard held her she imagined it was Sean’s shoulder she was leaning against.

At the end of the night the band played the
National
Anthem, all the couples breaking apart and standing to attention facing the stage, as the lights went full on. The glare revealed sweaty faces and pimples and facial hair that had gone unnoticed in the dimness. Bernard asked her out for a date, but she was in no humour to get involved with anyone else and it wasn’t fair on him.

‘The next time I’m here we’ll have a dance again,’ she promised.

She had to hunt around to find Kitty, who was making a show of herself again kissing her man like there was no tomorrow. She had to walk home with the two of them and glared at Kitty, daring her to stop and do anything on the way back to the flat. She left them outside on the doorstep and fell into bed so that she was fast asleep by the time her cousin crept inside.

Dublin 1955

Chapter Sixteen

CHRISTMAS HAD COME
and gone. Ella worked in Lennon’s till late on Christmas Eve, sharing a Christmas dinner in the flat with an equally exhausted Terri and Gretta. Kitty chased down home for the two-day break. The January sales were upon them before they knew it and during those dark winter days when Dubliners kept their coats wrapped tightly and old men coughed and spat in the street and the tinker children begged for pennies for coal, she found herself thinking about the farm and Sean. She had to put him out of her mind and decide to forget him. There were the odd dates here and there but it was Patrick who kept calling and was mad about her while she still dithered and dreamed about someone who was long gone from her life. It wasn’t fair!

She had a Mass said for her father’s anniversary, thinking of all the hurt and bitterness his will had provoked, and forcing herself to try and remember the good things about him.

* * *

Work was going well and while Eileen Byrne was away on holiday in Lourdes, she and Julia had the run of their department.

‘Who’d she go on holiday with anyway?’ she asked Julia.

‘Eileen always brings her mother, the two of them are great company for each other and book into the best hotels and treat themselves.’

Ella thought it must be strange for Eileen not having a husband or a boyfriend and relying on her aged mother for company. All the department heads in Lennon’s were middle-aged spinsters who had forgone marriage and families. Ella hoped to God that she wouldn’t end up that way.

Summer in the city was getting her down as the whole of Ireland sweltered in a July heatwave. Their flat was like an oven and Kitty never stopped complaining as the staff of Lennon’s were expected to look cool and calm despite the stifling heat that engulfed them. Ella was upstairs helping on the swimwear and beach wear seasonal counter, envious of the customers who told her of the French resorts and Irish holiday spots they were visiting.

‘It’s not bloody fair!’ she moaned again and again. Kitty brought a large Japanese paper fan into work and every now and then resorted to fanning herself with the gentle air of a geisha girl. Lemming-like, every day at lunchtime all the shop and office girls congregated at St Stephen’s Green
to
sunbathe and eat their sandwiches, Ella among them, stretching out on the grass trying to imagine the cooling breeze blowing in off the lake, down home. The farmers all over the country were already complaining of drought and worried about the harvest and many farm animals were suffering. Some poor man had even lost a number of pigs from heat stroke.

‘Will you give over!’ Terri jeered. ‘Pigs my eye! Think of all the poor people burnt like sausages on the beach and all them roasted red like lobsters that Gretta has to deal with in Vincent’s Hospital.’

The children from the city flats paddled and jumped in the fountains in their underwear, trying to cool down, the park keepers chasing them, everyone laughing and relaxed and not wanting to work.

On Sundays, their day off, they made excursions to Bray and Dunlaoghaire and Seapoint, avoiding the massive train queues at all the stations by borrowing two bicycles from Dessie and Con, the Cork lads in the flat below, and cycling like lunatics out along Dublin Bay. The beaches and seafront promenades were packed with day trippers and holidaymakers, buying Italian ice creams and sitting in the sun listening to local brass bands performing, the music sweeping out over the water. Ella envied the small children in their bathing suits splashing and shrieking among the waves to cool down, while they just paddled and swam demurely.

Back home Liam and she used to jump in the lake when the weather got too hot. She could remember her mother standing there shading her eyes from the sun, watching them. Only once had she joined them, whooping and hollering and duck-diving in the coolness of Lough Garvan, the two of them picking up her excitement and sense of freedom and all ending up staying in the water for far too long. Ella’s hands and feet had been all wrinkled when she stood on the shore. Her mother had used Liam’s shirt to pat her dry, and then stretched out on the grass to dry herself off, not budging till it was tea time.

Patrick surprised her arriving out of the blue at the flat one evening. Luckily Kitty and Tom had gone to the cinema so they had the place to themselves, which was rare. Ella quickly shoved a mess of clothes on the couch over on top of the pile Kitty had flung in her bedroom. Why did her cousin always have to leave the place in such a state every time she went anywhere? Thankfully her hair was clean and she was wearing a loose pale blue skirt and a strappy sun top that showed off her golden tan. Patrick whistled appreciatively as he pulled her into his arms. She put a new Frank Sinatra record of Terri’s on and ran down to the kitchen to get some glasses. The gin bottle was empty so she used the bottle of Paddy Whiskey, which was kept for emergencies. She’d pay Kitty back later. Taking a sip of it made her eyes water.

‘We need some water for it,’ joked Patrick. Glasses in hand they sat down beside each other on the couch. It felt strange being on her own there with him; usually they went to restaurants and pubs or Bill’s. They both were unaccustomed to it and Ella didn’t know what to say. Touching his hand she realized just how attracted to him she was, and did not pull back when he asked her to kiss him.

Leaning over she softly kissed his face, his brow, his cheeks, his nose, his eyebrows and his closed eyes before brushing her lips against his, then forcing him to open his mouth as they drew breath from each other. Breaking away she kissed his neck and his throat and behind his ears, getting aroused by the heaviness of his breathing and the strength of his hand on her spine. She unbuttoned his shirt and kissed the centre of his chest before kissing each side, then moved down towards his navel inhaling the smell of his skin. His eyes were closed and she sensed what he wanted. She was not ready to go that far with him. She could see him laughing at her innocence.

‘What am I going to do with you?’ he whispered, covering her mouth with his and making her moan with delight as he began to kiss and suck at her neck and throat. His hands pushed up the light top; she helped him to pull it over her head and to open her brassiere. She loved the way he made her feel and the rush of pleasure his kisses brought as she pushed against him. She made no objection
as
he slipped his hand up her skirt. She wanted him at that moment every bit as much as he wanted her. She lay down along the couch.

‘God, you are so beautiful, Ella. From the first minute we met this is what I’ve wanted, us to be together like this.’

Ella put her arms up, pulling him towards her. ‘Do you love me, Patrick?’ she asked.

‘Ella, you know I do.’

He began to kiss her again, so slow and deep that she was almost dizzy as he began to move against her, his body dictating the rhythm that she was to follow. She moaned feeling him ease her skirt open and off her hips as he pulled her towards him, his own trousers open. His fingers, now more urgent, pushed at her lace knickers. Everything was happening so quickly, too quickly, she suddenly realized.

‘No Patrick, stop. I’m not ready. I didn’t mean this to happen.’ She tried to push him off her, his full weight on top of her.

‘Don’t be scared. It’ll be all right,’ he promised. ‘We’re almost there.’

‘No! I don’t want to Patrick, please!’ She tried to raise herself up from under him.

He looked at her face. ‘I won’t enter you, Ella.’

She could feel him push and move against her, her hips and pelvis following his, wanting to meet him, only the thin piece of lace between them. He groaned and lay flat against her as she buried her face in his shoulder muffling the unexpected sigh
of
pleasure that ebbed through her. They lay totally still together afterwards. She didn’t know what to say or do.

He kissed the nape of her neck and ran his tongue along her lips. ‘The next time will be better my love, I promise.’

‘I’m sorry Patrick, I’m just not ready to—’

He silenced her protest with his lips. ‘I can wait, but please don’t make me wait too long.’

They pulled on their clothes quickly, Ella realizing that Kitty might walk in on them at any minute. She couldn’t imagine anything worse. Sitting beside him she immediately regretted that she had been so stupid and longed to lie back down beside him again.

‘I’m so bloody stupid, Patrick. I’m sorry.’

They were sitting down drinking tea and eating toasted cheese sandwiches when Kitty got back.

‘You two have a nice night?’ she asked innocently.

Ella blushed red as a beetroot and Patrick laughed aloud.

‘I think I’d better be going and let you two get your beauty sleep.’

‘Patrick, we’re as beautiful as you get,’ quipped Kitty, kicking off her shoes.

‘I’ll not argue that.’

Ella walked him to the door and kissed him passionately goodbye, not objecting when his hand caressed her breast.

‘See you on Monday, Ella. I’ve to go down and check on the plans and meet the site engineers in Cork this weekend.’

She hated when he was away at weekends.

‘We’ll go somewhere special, I promise.’

‘You two are thick as thieves,’ remarked her cousin as they were cold-creaming their faces with Ponds and washing their teeth, in their pit of a bathroom. ‘It’s getting serious, isn’t it!’

Ella was tempted to confide in her cousin, but was too embarrassed. Kitty was always so at ease with men and her own body, she would have thought Ella was a right eejit if she’d heard what happened.

She’d see Patrick on Monday and decide how they felt then.

Chapter Seventeen

THE NEXT FEW
days in work all she could do was think of Patrick and herself and what would happen the next time they met. She was so obsessed with him she mixed up two delivery orders, counted the cash wrong and undercharged a customer six pounds. She was lucky that Eileen wasn’t around to notice her mistakes.