Promised Land (8 page)

Ella almost wished that she could stay with the
Kavanaghs
for ever, and never bother going home to face Liam again. She supposed she couldn’t help feeling sorry for herself after all that had happened.

Somehow or other her aunt managed it so that the two of them were eventually left on their own together. She was a dab hand at arranging such things. Ella remembered when Aunt Nance had prepared her for her first monthly when she was about thirteen years old, and the time she had sat her down to explain the facts of life to her, forgetting totally that Ella was a farmer’s daughter.

‘Ella, you and I need to talk,’ said her aunt, patting the stool beside her.

She sat down.

‘I know that you’re upset over your father’s will, but you getting yourself in a state isn’t going to change things one bit, you know!’

Ella took a deep breath. Her aunt was always honest and direct with her.

‘Jack and I have made a will.’

Ella stared at her aunt, trying to read her expression.

‘We’ve left the farm to Brian. It’s what Jack wants, that our son inherits the farm.’

Ella gasped.

‘It’s not that we don’t love the girls, you know how much we adore them. It’s just that Jack doesn’t want the farm split up, the land divided. It’s been in his family for generations. We don’t want any fight over it, so the best thing is to let
Brian
have it. He loves Rathmullen, all he has ever wanted was to work this farm with his daddy, you know that.’

Ella didn’t know what to say. There was sense and logic to what her aunt was saying. Already her cousins fought over the stupidest thing, so she couldn’t imagine what it would be like if her uncle and aunt were not around to keep the peace between them. But how would Teresa and Constance and Kitty and Marianne and Slaney really feel about it when the time came? Had her aunt and uncle even bothered to get their opinion?

‘My daddy, your grandfather, did the same to myself and Maeve. He left Fintra, the farm we grew up on, to Martin. Maeve and I were mad about it at first. I wept buckets, I was that hurt and upset. You know how attached I am to the old place, Ella. I suppose it’s only with time I’ve realized and accepted that decision. The farm and land are important, don’t get me wrong. I’d kill anyone who laid claim to Rathmullen, but do you know something Ella dote, if one of my children had cried or called for me, I wouldn’t have given a damn about the stock, or the crops in the field, or the hole in the roof of the barn, for my children are more precious to me than anything else in this life. If little Sean Patrick had screamed or got himself upset over something today, why likely there might have been no roast dinner for you all to enjoy. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you, Ella? There’ll be other things to fill your life. The land
might
have made you hard, killed that fine spirit of yours. Let Liam have it.’

Ella didn’t know what to say, she felt cold and shivery. Her aunt didn’t understand at all. There was nothing else in her life now except for the farm. She would never forgive her father for what he had done, for the choice that he had made.

‘I don’t know what to do, Aunt Nance. I’m not sure I want to stay living with Carmel and Liam any more.’

‘I hope they haven’t been trying to put you out of the place. Jack and I wouldn’t stand for it, Ella.’

‘No, it’s not that. I love Fintra, but I just don’t think I can stay there any more now I know that it’s theirs. It hurts too much.’

Her aunt stroked her hair. ‘Poor old pet. You know you are always welcome to stay here for as long as you like, but that’s not really the answer, is it?’

Ella took a deep breath, for she knew that too.

‘Would you go away?’

She had to admit she’d been thinking about it.

‘Kitty loves Dublin, would you consider moving there? You know that she’s just got this new flat, which is costing her an arm and a leg, and is looking for flatmates. Would you share with Kitty?’

Ella thought about it. Even though she and her cousin were very different, they had always got along fine over the years.

‘Jack says things are bad in Dublin, doom and gloom and unemployment, but Kitty managed to find something. If everyone’s getting the boat
to
England and emigrating surely there must be some jobs left! Ella, maybe you’d be lucky like Kitty and find something you like. Moping around here is going to do you no good; unless there is some reason to stay!’

Ella shook her head. ‘I’ve no reason to stay.’

‘Are you sure, pet? Did I hear something about you and that Flanagan boy?’

Ella swallowed hard. Slaney and her gossip. ‘Sean and I are just good friends, that’s all, Aunt Nance.’

‘Then there’s nothing holding you back, pet. You were so good to poor Martin, looking after him. I’ve never seen such a devoted daughter, honest to God I haven’t, but now it’s high time you thought of yourself. I’ll write to Kitty straight away and tell her to expect you.’

Ella smiled, almost laughing to herself at what she had agreed. Moving to Dublin and sharing a flat with Kitty, she must be mad!

‘And do you know something, Ella, love, Jack and I will be so happy to think of you there keeping an eye on her.’

Chapter Eight

ELLA COULDN’T HIDE
the growing anger and resentment she felt at her brother as day after day he told her a list of jobs that needed doing as if she were a common farm labourer. At least a labourer would get paid for his work, yet Liam had made no mention of wages or even given her a penny since he took over the farm. She was the one who knew about Fintra but he wasn’t prepared to sit down and listen to her views at all. He was annoyed with her and had somehow or other discovered about her visit to the other solicitor; she suspected her young cousin Slaney had let it slip.

‘You can spend your money on all sorts of legal people, Ella, but it won’t change a damn thing. Maurice Sweeney assures me that Daddy’s will is sound and I’m only carrying out his last wishes. You haven’t a leg to stand on legally.’

She said nothing as they finished the potato drills and were thinning out the cabbages, for there was nothing like the rich green, almost blue-tinged
head
of a full-grown cabbage, sitting close to the earth. The two of them bent down working in silence, separating out the weaker ones, their long leaves already misshapen.

‘There’s plenty of work to be done on the farm, Ella,’ he grumbled. ‘You know, you just can’t take off over to Rathmullen whenever you feel like it, without a by your leave to anyone!’

‘I’ll do what I like, Liam, you don’t own me!’

‘Not when you’re living on this farm and I’m the one providing the roof over your head,’ he reminded her sarcastically.

‘That won’t be for much longer!’ she muttered under her breath as she bent down again.

‘What did you say?’ He rounded on her, his head and broad shoulders twisting towards her.

She cursed herself for blurting out her plan to leave in a temper like that.

‘You heard me, I’m gong to Dublin, just as soon as I can!’

‘And what about the farm?’

‘Well! What about it? This is your farm, Liam. You own it now.’

‘Who’s going to help out? You just can’t go off and leave me like that, Ella!’

‘That’s your problem. Maybe Carmel could help.’

‘Carmel knows nothing about livestock and farming. She grew up in Liverpool docks, her father was a docker!’

‘Then maybe you’ll have to hire someone.’

She could see his jaw tighten. She knew well there wasn’t the money to pay a farm worker.

‘You’re not bloody leaving, Ella! This is where you’re wanted and needed. What in God’s name would a country girl like you do in the city anyways?’

‘I’m not staying here,’ she insisted, ignoring his insult.

‘What the hell do you think you’ll be doing in Dublin? Half the population of the place can’t find work and have had to take the mail boat to England. Jobs are few and far between there, I’ll have you know!’

‘I’ll find a job and I’m going to stay in the flat with Kitty.’

‘You’d be far better off staying home, here on the farm.’

‘Home!’ she screamed back at him, enraged. ‘This isn’t my home any more, Liam! It’s yours and Carmel’s. I don’t belong here!’

‘You’ve gone mad! Of course you belong here, haven’t you a nice room and a roof over your head and your keep and yet you’re prepared to jack it all in and go off to Dublin with that lunatic cousin of ours.’

‘Kitty’s a nice girl, so you just leave her out of it!’

‘She’s as wild as a March hare and Uncle Jack is always going on about all the messes she gets herself into.’

‘I’m not interested in gossip and tittle-tattle. As far as I’m concerned Kitty and I get on grand and for your information it was Uncle Jack and Aunt
Nance
who suggested I share a flat with her.’

Ella was furious with her brother. Obviously Liam expected her to stay home and give a hand with the running of his farm. Since her father’s death he’d obviously given no thought to her future or how she was meant to survive. She supposed he and Carmel wanted her as some sort of cheap labourer, to whom they would supply bed and board. She had no intentions of ending up a dried-up old spinster working on the farm dependent on the two of them for her keep.

‘It doesn’t matter what you say, Liam, I’m going and I’m not changing my mind.’

‘Do ye know something, Ella, when I met you when I came home from England, I thought that you’d turned out a grand girl, that I was lucky to have such a sister. But since Daddy died you’ve changed into a right selfish bitch. Fintra will be better off without you! I don’t want or need you on this land! So as far as I’m concerned you can piss off to Dublin and stay there!’

Flinging his spade to the ground, Liam tramped back across the field and along the narrow boreen, leaving her to finish what they’d started.

Shocked and hurt, she wondered why fights with Liam always had to end with him flinging things and screaming and shouting. Little had changed since they were younger.

Ella felt like she’d been kicked in the guts and knew that any possibility of remaining on the farm
she
had grown up on was finally gone and any doubts she’d had about leaving Kilgarvan had been viciously pushed aside.

‘Don’t leave, Ella! Please don’t go!’ Carmel pleaded, when she heard. ‘Liam doesn’t mean it Ella, honest to God he doesn’t.’

‘I can’t stay here any more, Carmel, I just can’t,’ she insisted.

‘Ella, you don’t know how hard it was for Liam to come home to Ireland and your daddy and the farm after so many years away. He’s all upset about things at the moment. Half the time when he says something he doesn’t mean it, honest he doesn’t! He won’t admit it even to himself but he misses the sea. He’s a sailor, not a farmer. Farming is different from what he’s used to and it’s going to take him a time to settle down her in Kilgarvan. He’s worried about the money and trying to make a good job running the place, honest he knows that you’re a much better farmer than he is but he’s so stubborn he just won’t tell you. He needs you here Ella, we both do!’

Ella could sense that Carmel was only trying to make the peace between them, for she was a gentle sort of girl who didn’t like rows and upsets. But no matter what she said or did this time there were no excuses for her brother.

‘He shouldn’t have said what he said,’ apologized Carmel again.

How things had changed so much and fallen apart so quickly at home since her daddy’s death
was
beyond her. Desperate to get out of the house she pulled on her jacket and wellington boots.

‘Monty! Come on for a walk! That’s a good boy,’ she called, opening the back door and setting off across the farmyard, her hands dug deep in her pockets, willing herself not to break down and cry.

Liam and she had managed to avoid each other for the best part of two days, and alone in her bedroom she packed her bag, an old brown suitcase that had belonged to her mother and father. She folded the best of her clothes into it, stacking them neatly on top of each other. She wondered if her few dresses and skirts would be suitable for a city like Dublin as they were hardly what you would call stylish. Kitty had led her to believe that the Dublin girls were all very glamorous and spent every penny of their money on fashion, hair and make-up and the like. She worried whether she’d fit in or not.

She walked the fields of Fintra, acre after acre, noticing the way the sun slanted down along them at different hours of the day, the yellow gorse and the blaze of purple heather that bloomed up by Finns Hill, the boggy land known as Kennedy’s Keep, where her father used to cut turf for the winter, and all the things that made up her own place. She was glad that she’d got the seed potatoes down in time, for now it would be up to Liam to spray the drills and keep an eye on them. She’d
also
seen to it that the O’Gradys had mended the length of fencing destroyed by their Jersey cows. Liam wouldn’t want those grazers crossing into his fields and eating everything around them. Their own cattle were fattening up well and their sheep were doing nicely, with plenty of young lambs in the flock. She’d told Carmel the names of two local shearers who would do the job for them, and showed her the sheep dip mixture that was kept in the outhouse. Carmel, although she knew nothing about farming, was a good listener and took down notes and reminders.

She walked up to the local graveyard where her mother and father were laid to rest. She couldn’t bring herself to pray for her father, not after what he had done and the hurt and pain he had caused her. The funeral flowers still lay scattered on the grass, all withered and dead now, reminding her of the grief of his passing and the ensuing un-happiness he’d caused her.

Row or no row, she decided that she had to see Sean before leaving Kilgarvan, and cycled over to Flanagan’s farm. His mother Una insisted that Ella have a cup of tea in the kitchen with her while she waited for him, while her daughter-in-law Bernadette busied herself preparing the family meal. Una quizzed her perceptively about what was happening up at Fintra and how she was feeling after Martin’s death. She’d always liked Sean’s mother even if she was a bit of a curiosity box,
who
loved a bit of local gossip. Her arthritis kept her tied to the house nowadays and she relied very much on others to fill her in on what was going on in her locality. Luckily she and Bernadette appeared to get on fine, neither of them objecting to sharing a kitchen.