Promised to the Crusader (15 page)

Anne had only ever wanted to wed one man. That man was denied her, but she no longer craved revenge. Indeed, she cared not whether Zander de Bricasse was alive or dead.

Her brother Philip was a murderer and more than that she suspected that his mind was twisted—that he was insane. She had never been certain of it until now, but she could not forgive him for the terrible sin of murdering their gentle uncle. His sin was her sin, because
without knowing it she had condoned what he did—she had schemed with him to murder and to force an innocent woman into a marriage that She now believed would have been hateful.

She would go to a nunnery and offer her life to Christ. She would pray for forgiveness and for the redemption of her soul….

‘C
an we stop running now?’ Marion asked. She doubled over, her chest hurting so much that she could scarcely bear it. ‘I have not heard anything since we left the castle. I do not believe they have discovered our escape.’

‘Do not talk,’ Elaine said, breathing deeply. ‘We have escaped detection so far, but the sun will be up soon and we still have some way to go. We cannot rest long, because they will come looking for us as soon as they discover we are not in the castle.’

‘At least Lady Anne did not alert her brother last night.’ Marion sank down to the ground, her back against a tree. ‘Have you any idea where we are—or how far we are from the manor?’

‘I think if we keep going we shall soon be
through the woods,’ Elaine said and sat down beside her. ‘I do not recognise anything here—but once we leave the woods we may see a milestone or perhaps a church that we know. If not, we must ask the way.’

‘We’re lost, aren’t we?’ Marion said, her throat catching. ‘We ran in such a blind panic that I did not take note which way we went.’

Elaine smiled at her. ‘We must just keep going. In the morning we may see a farm cart and ask the way. Mayhap some kind soul will give us a lift home.’

Marion nodded and stood up. ‘Yes, we must keep going. I wish Bertrand were with us, as he was when we left Howarth.’

‘He was a good guide and I, too, wish he were here,’ Elaine said, smiling at her. ‘Have courage, my friend. I think God is looking after us. I was certain Lady Anne knew I was faking my sleep, but she did not betray us. Luck is with us thus far. We must go on. When we are home we can pull up the drawbridge and resist all comers until my husband’s uncle comes to help us.’

‘I am ready to go on,’ Marion said and reached for her hand. ‘Forgive me for ever thinking of leaving you, my lady. If I had not
been so deceived in Lord Stornway, we might have escaped before this.’

‘His manner is always pleasant. Even now I find it hard to believe that he could be so wicked…and his sister…’

‘You must believe me. If he were to recapture you…’ Now Marion was urgent. ‘We must hurry, my lady. We have to reach your manor before he comes after us.’

‘What time do they open the gates?’ Zander asked. ‘We must do nothing to arouse suspicions.’

‘Just after seven bells,’ Bertrand replied. ‘It is six bells in the summer, but at this time of the year it is later to allow for the sunrise.’

‘Then we must make haste,’ Zander said. ‘We have yet to make our way through the woods.’

‘Get beneath the sacks, my lord,’ Bertrand said. ‘There are others stirring already.’ He pointed down the road towards two women. ‘If you are seen…’

Zander was about to obey when Bertrand gave a startled cry. ‘What is wrong?’

‘My lord, I think…’ Bertrand began to sprint towards the women and one of them ran forwards. He caught her in his arms and held her. Zander looked beyond them to the second
woman. His heart thudded to a halt and he was turned to stone, as he knew her, his feet unable to move. ‘My lord…’ Bertrand beckoned to him. ‘’Tis Marion and my lady.’

His voice broke the spell that held Zander rooted to the ground. He took a step forwards as Elaine suddenly came flying towards them. She stopped as she reached him and he saw the uncertainty in her eyes.

‘Zander…you are alive?’ Her voice caught with emotion and he saw the tears trickle down her cheeks. ‘I thought…I thought you were dead.’ She was trembling, uncertain, staring at him in disbelief.

Zander’s mouth was dry and the words he wanted to say would not come. How could he speak of all he felt? How could he explain the uncertainty that had made him linger with Janvier for weeks? How might he tell her that he had not believed himself capable of loving her as she deserved, but had fought his devils and won?

‘What happened to you? Why did you disregard my message to stay inside the manor and draw up your bridge until I came?’ His voice sounded cold and angry to his own ears, but he could not smile and, though his arms ached to
hold her, he made no move towards her. ‘We thought you might be a prisoner.’

Elaine lifted her head, a look of pain in her eyes. Zander knew that his cold manner had hurt her but he could not let himself tell her how much he had feared for her. Instead, he felt a roaring anger in his head. She had gone to Stornway of her own free will…and she had promised to wed the earl if there were proof of Zander’s death—did she care for him? Had she come to realise that Zander was not worthy of her after all? He knew his suspicions were unfair, yet jealousy made him look at her with cold reserve.

‘I never received your message, my lord,’ she said and now there was pride in her eyes. ‘There was a wounded man at Stornway Castle who claimed you had sent him to tell me you had been betrayed—but he said nothing of remaining at the manor. When we had no message for weeks I was anxious and feared you dead. I sent to Lord Stornway for help.’

‘You went to him and then what happened?’ His expression remained icy and he saw her look of pain, yet still he could not relent. Philip had sworn eternal friendship, but he had lied. Zander had trusted him—could he now trust her despite her avowal of love?

‘My lady was very ill,’ Marion said, speaking because Elaine was silent. ‘Lady Anne nursed her and gave her potions that were meant to cure her, but I believe they sought to steal away my lady’s will.’

‘I will speak for myself,’ Elaine said and now in turn there was anger in her lovely eyes. ‘Lord Stornway told me you were dead. Your soldier saw you fall and it seemed certain that you were hacked to death. I became ill and when I recovered Lord Stornway said that I must marry him, because I should never be safe at the manor as a widow.’

‘And you were content to wed him? You consented to marry him before Christ’s Mass?’

‘I said that I did not wish to marry at all—and I told him that I could not marry for there was no proof that you were dead. He said that our marriage was no true marriage and he did not need proof—that he would have it annulled. I told him that I must have time to grieve.’

‘Annulled?’ Zander’s eyes narrowed and then nodded. ‘He did not need proof, because I was called from home on my wedding night. It was a false alarm and now I understand what lay behind it. What a scheming knave he is…’ He shook his head. ‘We shall speak privately of
these things, Elaine. Why did he allow you to leave?’

‘He does not know,’ Elaine replied. ‘Anne tried to drug me again with her foul potions, but Marion poured the mixture away and I pretended to sleep. I thought that Anne might have guessed I was not truly asleep and feared she would alert her brother, but for some reason she did not. We waited until it was late and then slipped away when everyone was retiring for the night.’

‘You must have walked all night.’ Zander suddenly realised that she was exhausted. He saw her swaying from tiredness. ‘I am a brute to question you. Forgive me…’ Regret cut through him. She had exhausted herself escaping and he treated her as though she were his enemy. In truth he did not deserve her! He was beyond all hope of redemption.

Elaine sighed and stumbled as he moved towards her. He swept her up in his arms and put her into the cart and Bertrand did the same for Marion.

‘We must thank God that we came upon them by chance,’ Bertrand said. ‘If we had not passed this way, we might have missed them—and, had we gained entrance to the castle, it would all have been for nothing.’

‘I think this time God was on our side,’ Zander said and glanced at the women as Bertrand turned the cart. He made the sign of the Cross over himself and felt the relief pulse through him. He had come very close to losing her. ‘Once we have them safe there will be time enough to decide how to punish Philip.’

Elaine lay on her bed and wept. Her tiredness had soon passed once her women had brought her hot scented water to bathe and clean clothes. She had eaten soft bread and honey and drunk a little weak ale. After an hour or so had passed, she felt better physically, but still her heart ached.

Zander had looked so angry when he’d seen her. Her heart had soared with hope when she first knew him and she’d run to him, believing that he would catch her in his arms and hold her to him, as Bertrand had held Marion, but instead, he’d just looked at her coldly—almost as if he hated her.

How could he look at her that way? Even though he’d seemed concerned when he realised she was exhausted and lifted her into the cart, she could not convince herself that he loved her as Bertrand loved Marion.

What had she done to anger him?

She wiped away her tears and sat up. She was innocent of any crime, but it seemed that all men were the same—they all sought to dominate or use a woman for their own purposes. Women were used as bargaining tools, for power, land or money. Some men wanted to use them to satisfy their lusts, others only to breed their heirs. Elaine was not sure why Lord Stornway had tried to force her into marriage. He could surely have taken anything he wanted from her.

Elaine’s heart ached, because she had believed that Zander was different. She’d kept his image enshrined in her heart, imagining that if only he would return to her, her dreams would all come true—but it seemed that she had deceived herself. He was no different from all the others.

The feeling of betrayal and disillusion made her want to weep again, but she refused to stay here in her chamber weeping. She was the chatelaine of this manor and Zander’s wife—even if he had regretted their hasty marriage.

Did he imagine that she had gone to Lord Stornway because she secretly admired him and regretted her marriage? Was that why he’d looked at her so coldly?

Elaine had heard stories of women stolen
from their husbands and then disgraced by their captors. When they were returned to their homes they often found themselves reviled and obliged to retire to a nunnery, because their husbands could no longer bear to look at them.

If Zander thought so ill of her…

She heard a knock at her door and then his voice, asking if he might enter her chamber. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she bid him welcome and he opened the door, looking at her oddly as he entered.

‘Elaine,’ he said hesitantly. ‘Forgive me if I hurt you earlier. I had feared…many things and seeing you apparently free…I did not know what to think.’

‘Did you believe that Lord Stornway sent me back to you as spoiled goods?’

A tiny pulse flicked at his temple and she knew that he had considered the possibility. ‘I am still the virgin I was when you left me to take the Cross,’ she said in a voice of ice. ‘When you did not come to me on our wedding night I slept and in the morning I cut my finger and sprinkled blood on my sheets, for I would not have my ladies know I was still a virgin. I lied to Lord Stornway and told him the marriage had been consummated when he wanted to have
it annulled—but he bribed the priest to give his consent and would have forced me to wed him.’

‘Marion and Bertrand have told me it all,’ Zander said. ‘I did not doubt your loyalty, but I know him now for the villain he is and he might have done anything. I thank God that you were not harmed when he had you at his mercy.’

‘I do not know why he wished me to be his wife—unless it was because he wished to possess what was yours.’ Elaine was thoughtful. ‘I think he would not have bothered with me had I not been betrothed and then wed to you.’

‘Why should Philip be so jealous of me? We were as brothers once.’

‘Were Cain and Abel not brothers?’

‘You speak truly,’ Zander said and then held out a hand to her. ‘Will you forgive me for deserting you?’

Elaine was not ready to give in so easily. He had left her and then, after he was attacked, he had sent only one messenger. ‘Why did you not send word? Did it never occur to you that one messenger might not get through to me—that I might be anxious for your sake? Or did you think that I had betrayed you?’ Her eyes widened in pain for the thought tore at her.

‘How could I think so ill of you? It never
crossed my mind that you would play such a wicked trick.’

‘Then why did you not come to me—or send someone to tell me you were alive?’

‘I had so few men left to me and I did not know who I could trust. Janvier was badly wounded saving my life. He covered me with his body when they tried to hack me to death—and when my men finally drove them off he was more dead than alive. I felt I needed to care for him myself, for he has done so much for me.’

‘I understand that you would nurse him, because he once saved your life—but had you no thought of me? Surely you knew I would be anxious?’

‘I thought Eric would have told you. I was away for years at the crusades and you did not expect a message from me.’ He sighed with exasperation. ‘It was but a few weeks…Forgive me. I know you suffered. Marion told me that you were forever at your window. She said that you would not eat or sleep.’

Elaine tossed her head, angry that he needed her maidservant to tell him what he should have known. ‘She would do better to hold her tongue.’

‘She loves you, Elaine. I offered her land and
a pension, but she would not take it. She and Bertrand will marry, but they will not leave your service.’

‘Lord Stornway offered them land, too,’ Elaine said. ‘Bertrand did not trust him. He suspected him of wrongdoing and it seems he was right.’

‘I wish I had been as wary.’ Zander frowned. ‘Philip had you at his mercy at the castle. Anything might have happened. Yet I thought him my friend—how could I know he hated me?’

‘I think Anne hates you, too. Does she have cause?’

Zander looked thoughtful, then nodded, ‘Perhaps. I have learned that she loved a knight by the name of Sir Jonquil. He was the bloodthirsty brute who murdered innocents. When he was denounced he tried to blame his crimes on me and I fought him single-handed—it was his death or mine. I would have spared him at the end, but the King commanded that he die by the sword, as he had lived.’

‘Then I understand why she hates you,’ Elaine said. ‘But I do not know why her brother should plot to steal your wife and have you murdered.’

‘I believe it has something to do with my father,’ Zander said. ‘The only thing I knew
for sure was that someone had him beaten to death—Philip told me it was the Earl of Newark, but now I think that may have been a lie…that he might have done the evil deed himself.’