Promises After Dark (After Dark #3) (6 page)

Alex’s lips twitched then put both hand up in front of him. “Fine.” Angel was a strong woman and he couldn’t believe she’d be with anyone who didn’t please her. She was with Kyle when they were younger, so maybe, but not more recently with Kenneth. She would have communicated with him if he wasn’t taking care of her. Alex felt sure of it. “You don’t have to tell me.” He couldn’t comprehend that any man, faced with someone as beautiful as Angel, wouldn’t want to make sure she was satisfied and panting for more.

Angel shoved her hand against his shoulder. “It’s true!” Alex’s wry expression told her he was skeptical. “It is. Don’t ask if you don’t want the answer.”

“I just would think that—”

Angel interrupted him in a quiet voice with her eyes cast down and her hands twisting together in her lap. “That it would be all that deep digging and slow adoration like sex is with you? No one is like you.”

“Babe,” he almost groaned, pulling her against his chest. He turned his head and slid his mouth along the curve of her neck, kissing and sucking as he went. He shifted her until she was straddling his lap, and her arms lifted, fingers threading through the hair at the sides of Alex’s head. A dangerous position, considering they’d agreed to take the night off from lovemaking, but he wanted to be as close to her as he possibly could. “Thank you. But, it’s because it’s making love. Not sex… but it’s not always slow,” he murmured against her skin, his face buried in the silken curtain of her hair.

“No, but it is a lot. I know you want to take care of me.”

“Always. I hope it shows that I love you.”

She nodded and her throat tightened. As much as she tried to tramp it down, it wasn’t like she hadn’t imagined him with Whitney and the ones before that, wondering if he was as amazing with them, as adoring, as he was with her. How could he not be anything but who he was? She pulled back, holding his head away from her with her hands. She wanted to know. She knew she should just not ask, but now it would eat at her until she knew.

“Alex?”

His green eyes were piercing as he read her thoughts.

Jesus, I’m a stupid idiot!
Alex berated himself.

Now she’d be wondering about all the women he’d been with, just when she said she wouldn’t worry any more. Whitney, and a few others in his past had asked, but he just shut them down, telling them his life before they’d met wasn’t their concern. He’d never understood why it mattered, but looking into Angel’s sullen eyes, and with his own burning jealousy, he knew it did. Finally, with her, he understood.

“No. I don’t want to do the goose and gander bullshit.”

“Too bad. Is how you’re with me, just how you are?” She persisted. “Sex, in general?”

She swallowed hard, not wanting to ask, but he’d opened this can of worms, and God damned him, she was only human.

He could see her throat move and her eyes begin to glass over, and he wanted to kick himself. “No. I wasn’t invested.”

“I’m not asking that. I believe that emotionally it’s different. I’m asking how it was physically. You’re such a considerate lover. I mean, I—”

“Not even close, Angel,” he answered quickly. His tone lowered and he softly threaded his fingers in the hair at the side of her face, resting his forehead against hers. He wanted to communicate how he was feeling, not just say the words. But he knew the words he chose would be important. “Before, it was just about the act of getting off. It meant nothing to me, beyond release. I’m in love with you. I make love to you.”

She closed her eyes, and one traitorous tear fell. Alex bent to catch it with his lips and kissed her cheekbone, then her mouth, gently sucking on her lips and teasing her mouth open with the tip of tongue.

“I fucking hate that this even matters to me. I hate that I’m acting like those weak women who call the show, and I just promised not to think about this shit, but I know men, Alex. Either they are so self-centered that the woman doesn’t matter or their ego demands they satisfy. So I’m sure you—”

“Your theory would also apply to Ken and Kyle, right? It’s true, but so what? I promised I wouldn’t lie to you again, so yes, I prided myself on…
that
. But it was irrelevant, other than it was one less thing for them to bitch about.” He could feel her stiffen in his arms and lean back, straining against his arms as if she wanted to create distance. “Baby, don’t pull away. Angel, stop. Fuck, I can’t believe I brought this up,” he chastised himself.

They were adults—healthy adults—and Alex was a virile man, more virile than most. It would be naïve to think he wouldn’t satisfy his women 100% of the time, and Angel was anything but naïve. Logic told her they both had past relationships, and though she didn’t expect that he’d be celibate; but knowing how intimate they were together, she didn’t want to think of him entwined with anyone else, feelings or not. She shouldn’t be hurt by something that happened before they even met, yet her heart burned and tightened in anguish. “It’s okay. I get it. We’ve both…”

He shook his head adamantly and pulled her close again. “No, Angel, we haven’t done any of this before. How it is between us, is not like anything before us. I was like a robot and pleasure for the woman was an obligation. With you, it’s the objective, and I won’t have you thinking otherwise. The way it is between us—you shouldn’t ever wonder.”

“I think we should both stop wondering and worrying,” she murmured.

“Agreed. We’re together, and if I have my way, I’ll never touch another woman again. And no one takes what’s mine. Okay?”

Angel’s He pulled her closer again and she let him, her hands lifted to his shoulders and slid around his neck as he nuzzled into her. He felt good. Warm and loving, his scent engulfing. Safe. “Does that mean you’ll never get jealous again?”

“Fuck no, but I hate it.”

“Mmmm, I can tell. I promised myself I wouldn’t let doubt ruin us. So let’s just promise no more secrets, and if we have doubts we won’t let it eat at us. We talk it out.”

“Yes, well, the next time that happens, you can bet I’ll keep my goddamned mouth shut.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it. You have no reason to be jealous.”

“You did leave me. Twice.”

Angel pulled back and looked directly into his face, a little crinkle appearing above the bridge of her nose as she frowned. This was good. Talking was what they needed. “I know. But, not because I didn’t love you. I loved you… that’s why I left the first time. I didn’t want Mark Swanson to hurt you. That’s all it was. I just couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you.”

He shifted beneath her and took both of her hands in his, threading their fingers together, his lungs felt ridged, unable to expand. “He could have killed you.”

“This isn’t about him, Alex. Don’t sidetrack me.”

Alex knew she was right, and he wanted to concentrate on her. It pissed him off because that cocksucker was still in his head, and he would be until he was behind bars. “My point is we’re stronger together.”

Angel nodded. “I know that now. But, I was scared… and professionally bound to keep it to myself. It was so hard to try to convince you I didn’t want you.”

Alex wondered if that professional ethics bullshit would still be in place after he was her husband because, illegal or not, he was damn well going to know what the fuck was going on with her. “I knew you wanted me. That’s why it fucked me up so bad.”

“I was heartbroken. I almost suffocated myself with a pillow to keep from screaming. I sat in my closet and cried.”

Alex’s eyes softened, and his thumb rubbed back and forth over the top of her hand tenderly. “Oh honey. It was so needless and so unlike you. All you had to do was tell me, and I would have handled it. I was already working on taking that motherfucker down, anyway.”

“Ah… which leads to the other side of the secrets. Do you want to be the pot or the kettle?”

“You were so stubborn. It felt like I had no choice.” Their eyes were locked together and didn’t waver, neither of them moving a muscle other than his thumb over her skin. “So now you tell me everything. Professional ethics bullshit notwithstanding.”

“Yes. No more secrets.”

“Finally,” Alex teased with an overly exaggerated sigh. He smiled when a giggle burst from Angel.
Finally.

*****

“Anga!” Jillian squealed loudly into Angel’s ear as she squirmed on her lap. “Are you coming for my birfday?”

Angel and Becca had picked Jillian up from Becca’s parents’ house and trekked to Chuck E. Cheese’s in one of the western suburbs after their Saturday morning workout. True to form, Jillian was stuck to Angel like glue, giggling and shoving the atrocious pizza into her mouth.

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss your birthday! Who’s coming to your party?”

Angel had spoken to Becca about it and she already knew that a week and a half from now, there would be a big party. She was helping plan it, complete with face painting, balloon animals, and dress-up activities. It was a little over the top, but Angel insisted on helping to pay for it. The little girl would be three, and they were inviting some of her pre-school friends, their parents, and of course, Becca’s parents.

“You, Gramma and Pops, Amanda, Sally, and Miranda! Mama says we’z is gonna be peencesses!” The chubby pink cheeks were rosy and more pronounced as she smiled, and her blue eyes danced. Angel adored her and ran a hand down her blonde curls, kissing her head. Jillian held a piece of pizza up with both hands and took a bite.

“We are?”

“Yep!” She chewed and tried to talk at the same time.

“Jillian, don’t speak with your mouth full,” Becca reminded, her blue eyes meeting Angel’s dark brown ones. She hadn’t seen Angel this happy in a while; maybe never. She was glowing, her eyes sparkling, and her smile had been constant all day.

Angel wiped at the corner of Jillian’s mouth with a napkin and smiled happily down into the little one’s face.

“Princesses! Wow! That sounds exciting! Which one do you want to be?”

Jillian thought about it for a while, her lower lip popping out a bit. “Uh, Cinderella. I yike her. She has yellow hair yike me.”

Angel widened her eyes and nodded. “Oh, that would be beautiful! I think we need to go to the salon and get our hair and make-up done, shouldn’t we?”

“Angel, the other little girls will feel bad if we do that.”

She hadn’t thought about that, and she certainly didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She shrugged. “Okay, I agree. I’ll just ask Lauren and a couple of the other stylists to come to the party and we can do it there.”

“That’s too expensive, Angel.”

“Shush. My girl is having a birthday!”

“You spoil her.”

“Only on her birthday!”

Becca’s eyebrow shot up. “Yeah, sure.”

Angel laughed, and Becca examined her friend’s features.

In the days since Mark Swanson had attacked, Angel had been vulnerable, and Becca was shocked at how beaten up she was—her bruises were starting to turn yellowish as they healed. Becca had seen her, but Angel had refused to allow Jillian to see her with a full-blown back eye and bruises to her cheek, neck, and chin. Those were just the visible ones. Becca knew there had been more.

“How does Alex look?”

“His shoulder was pretty banged up, but he’s taking it like a man,” Angel said with a soft smile.

“As if there were any doubt.” Becca’s eyes twinkled mischievously.

The women had always talked a lot about the men in their lives, and Becca was happy to see Angel with someone like Alex, but there were still details she wanted to know. Angel was the best friend she’d ever had, and she wanted to see her happy and settled. She was always so into her work and worried about other people; it would require someone as charismatic as Alexander Avery to pull Angel out of her self-preservation mode. Angel needed someone who was as strong, maybe even stronger, than she was so she could allow herself to be vulnerable and trust unconditionally. Her own past wasn’t peachy keen either, and both of them had relied upon the other to get through some serious shit.

“So?” Becca prodded, picking up a piece of the offensive pizza and sniffing it, then wrinkling her nose. Children were everywhere, and the place was loud with music, screaming kids, and the various clanging, beeping and bells from the electronic games that lined all the walls.

“So, things are good. I’m trying hard not to be a typical, whiney female. It’s hard not to worry, when…” Her voice dropped and a wry expression crossed her face. She shrugged.

“When you love someone so much,” Becca filled in the blank with a cautious look on her pretty face.

“Yes.”

“Hallelujah. Amen!” Becca’s mouth twisted wryly. “It’s about goddamned time you admitted it!”

Jillian held out both of her hands toward a sippy cup filled with soda, her little fingers waving at it in silent request. Without thinking, Angel reached forward and handed it to the little girl. “What?” Her brow wrinkled. “I told you very early in that Alex was unavoidable.”

“Yeah. But you were so guarded,” Becca answered. “So this is it, though?”

“Uh huh.”

“Uh huh.” Becca eyed Angel with skepticism. “You’re not going to run away or sabotage the relationship? Because, even though I thought he was going to just be good sex, I can see that you’re different. Softer now. He’s totally got you.”

Becca’s words sent a thrill through Angel. Yes, he had her, all right.

“Don’t go getting all mushy or philosophical on me. I admit I’ve been struggling, but I’ve seen Alex struggle too. It makes it more real, and I believe this is different for both of us.”

“I’m just glad you finally decided to give him a chance. I didn’t want to have to kick your sweet ass.”

Still clinging to her cup, Jillian looked up. “Tweet ass!” she shouted out.

Angel’s eyes widened and snapped up to meet Becca’s as a snooty looking woman and an older lady from the next table gave Angel and Becca a disapproving once-over. Angel and Becca giggled; Becca coughed and tried to remain somber as she corrected the little girl, and Angel covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile.

“Sweetie, only mommies can say that word.”