We quietly walked a couple of blocks and finally arrived at the market. I asked her as we shopped what really went on with her date, since I knew she was exaggerating last night to make Flynn jealous. “Ugh. I must have had beer goggles on or something. I mean he was hot and all, but he was dumb as rocks. It was like pulling teeth to make conversation.” She moaned, “Ughhhh and then the kiss at the end. It was horrible.” She whined, “Like kissing a wet fish!” She laughed and shook her head.
“Aww, I’m so sorry! Flynn was so jealous. I think that’s really why he got into the fight with Mark; he was probably just blowing off steam about you going out on a date!”
“You didn’t tell him it was horrible, did you?” she exclaimed, extremely worried as she continued to push the cart down the aisle.
I shook my head. “No! I promised I wouldn’t!”
“Okay, good.” She exhaled and smiled looking relieved.
We continued our shopping, grabbing items that we needed.
“So what else was said this morning after I left?” I grabbed two cans of navy beans off the shelf and put them into the cart.
I glanced back and noticed Melanie’s eyes grew wide and she glanced away nervously. “Ohh well… Clark sort of mentioned to everyone our discussion at Spike’s... you know, about the punishments?”
I was mortified! “No! Oh God!” I could only begin to wonder what Z was thinking about me. Was that why he was smiling so big and had been so nice to me? Was he into that stuff?
“They all looked to me asking what a punishment was and Clark said that you ran off after he asked if it was whips and shit.” Melanie looked so sorry and I felt sick.
“So?” She looked at me, waiting.
“What?” I looked at her not sure what she was asking.
“Is that what he did to you? I mean you told me BDSM stuff. Was that it? We didn’t get to finish our conversation when the boys barged in earlier.” She looked at me anxiously, awaiting my answer.
I glanced away nervously. “Umm. Yes.” I paused, took a deep breath and decided to just blurt it out, although I kept my voice as low as possible. “A ‘bad’ punishment is what I called them. He would, yes, use whips, paddles and stuff.” The shock on her face made me feel horrible.
“What is ‘stuff’?” She asked curiously.
“Uh. Really? Do we have to do this now? In the middle of the supermarket?” I rolled my eyes looking around nervously.
“YES! Yes we do, dammit! You haven’t said anything to me yet except when you were moaning over a beer!” She was trying not to shout, but I knew it would get there soon. She was always determined to get what she wanted and shouting wouldn’t be beneath her.
Shit.
I took a deep breath and lowered my voice to barely a whisper. “Yes, he would chain me up. Naked. And paddle, spank and/or whip me depending on his mood.” I looked at her. She wanted to know it all. I was going to tell her. “He also wouldn’t let me come if it was a bad punishment.” I paused again, “He would bring me all the way there and then not let me…climax.” Her face was now pretty much white as a ghost. “A good punishment meant he would let me come.” I paused, forcing a smile. “Any questions?”
“Holy….whaa…why…why did you let him do that?” She was still in shock.
Because I was a virgin when I met HIM. But Melanie never knew that. I kept that from her our entire friendship. “Because he started it all slowly. And I have to admit,” I giggled, “the good punishments…were
REALLY
good.” I said a bit shyly, but noticed she was still staring at me like I was crazy. I looked away, “And because I didn’t have any bad punishments until we were farther along. By then, I was addicted to being allowed to come and, well, it went on from there.” I swallowed feeling like I needed to convince her that it wasn’t all too bad. “Umm, the good ones were actually really good. I mean, it could get pretty intense and mind-blowing.” I meekly smiled trying to convince her that being with HIM was actually pretty good, in the beginning. I was remembering how good they felt and it seemed like I needed to explain.
“What made you leave? Was it just getting that bad?” She looked disgusted and I suddenly felt ashamed. I was so used to HIS world that it didn’t seem...different until I explained it to her.
“Yes, it was that and…” I looked away not sure how much to tell her about that last night. “I told my personal trainer – Mark,” I spit his name out, “that I felt like HE was getting more upset with me and that I was in love with HIM and I was trying to figure out if HE would ever love me. Mark, at the time, was really nice during our workouts. He would talk to me nicely, as if he really cared. Mark was actually going back and telling HIM what I was saying. HE decided to make sure I knew HE wasn’t in love with me.” I decided that was enough for right now. Shit, that was more than enough for anyone to be told, especially in the middle of a supermarket. I admit my timing was not good.
We turned an aisle and I put two cases of beer in the cart. Melanie was trying to shake off the shock of what I just told her and seemed to try to snap out of her haze. She looked down and asked, “Holy shit! Are we having a party or something?”
I laughed and said “No. Now I need to be the one to get drunk. They know way too much about my messed up relationship with my ex and I just told you way more than any sane person should know!”
She shook her head in agreement and grabbed another case. We finished up our shopping in silence and walked home, again in silence. I was glad we brought her old lady looking grocery cart since we bought so much beer. Walking home, carrying those would have been a pain!
The guys were watching the game when we got back, so I started making the chili and popped a beer open. Melanie kept me company at the kitchen island still sort of in shock, but she tried to make idle conversation. My phone chimed a text. I knew it had to be Mark, since Melanie was the only other person who had my number.
Mark:
Hey gorgeous!
I giggled and Melanie looked at me quizzically. She mouthed “Mark?” I nodded.
Me:
Hey!
I replied.
Mark:
What ya up to?
Me:
Cookin’ chili
Mark:
Mmm, sounds good. Wish I were there with you.
Hmm, was that a hint? Too bad he couldn’t come over. But cannot imagine that cluster mess! I could see it now, I open the door and all three guys start beating Mark up. Not a good idea. I giggled at the thought.
Me:
Probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but I wish I could invite you.
Mark:
Why is that?
Me:
Did I mention I live with Flynn and Clark?
A few minutes passed as I stirred the chili. Melanie came over to read the exchange. She giggled and playfully hit my back.
Mark:
Nope, you didn’t. But you’re right, not a good idea I come over. Maybe after our run on Tuesday, we could grab a bite to eat? Maybe have a more intimate type of date?
Mel nudged me, still laughing. Z looked back at us from the couch, but didn’t notice my phone in my hand since I held it down pretending to chat with Melanie.
Me:
Sounds good. I’d like that.
Mark:
Me too. Enjoy your chili! X
Mel giggled again seeing the kiss. I shh’d her while laughing. We were acting like school girls.
Me:
Thank you. Can’t wait for Tuesday. X
Z got up and came into the kitchen for a beer. I quickly put my phone in my pocket.
He slipped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear. “Smells good.” I thought I would melt.
Blushing, I took a deep breath and said “thanks,” while taking a drink from my beer. I looked over at Melanie and she was grinning ear to ear. I made a face at her. How was it that Z was making me blush so quickly? Mark’s text exchange was fun, but having Z right here just sent excitement through me.
“So, do you like football?” Z asked with his arm still around me.
I chuckled, “Uh, no. Actually, I prefer rugby.” Melanie choked on her swig of beer as I said that, knowing the real reason.
Z looked at her questioningly. “Why is that so funny?”
“Ask Iz why she likes rugby better than football.” She teased. I playfully rolled my eyes at her, grinning.
Clark and Flynn turned around to watch me as I responded. My eyes got wide as I shot Melanie an ‘
I’m going to kill you look
’ and I started laughing.
Z asked “What? Why do you like rugby better?” He hip checked me in a flirtatious manner as he tilted his head, curious as to what my response might be.
I rolled my eyes and stated, “Because the game is faster paced.”
Melanie, eyes wide, shouted out while laughing, “That’s not the reason why! Tell them the truth!”
I turned around to stir the chili wanting to just end this conversation. Z put his arm back around my waist and turned me around. “Come on, tell us.” He urged slyly, keeping his arm around me and bumped his hip against mine again. He also licked his lips. God, he’s so sexy. I couldn’t contain a giggle if I tried.
I rolled my eyes again and blurted out the reason. “Because the guys don’t wear any gear and you can see their muscular bodies all hot and sweaty.” There. I said it. I took another long drink from my beer. My face was all red and embarrassed as the guys busted out laughing.
“Figures!” Z shouted, while shaking his head.
Clark called out, “if guys said that about a women’s sport, we’d be assholes!”
“Oh come on…” both Melanie and I shouted at him.
“No, it’s true! I agree with Clark,” Flynn shouted out.
This started a full on guys vs. girls yelling match and we went back and forth arguing our points and laughing.
Z smirked at me and kissed my cheek. “Hot and sweaty, huh,” He whispered in my ear softly. Between his kiss and whispering in my ear, I had to catch my breath. I took another drink from my beer, hoping to calm my heart from beating so fast. His eyes were bright with laughter. I just shook my head, laughing and still feeling his kiss on my cheek.
What was he trying to do? He was being so sweet and cute. It was confusing my points on why I was a rebound to him. Was he trying to make up for being a jerk last night? Or was he trying harder so I’d be his rebound?
I set up the chili bar and then told everyone it was ready. Z sat next to me while eating his chili at the kitchen island. I was on my third beer by then and feeling a really nice buzz and still replaying all the things Z had said and done to me this afternoon. Goosebumps shot through me to the point that Z noticed. “Cold?” He asked smirking. All I could do was smile and nod. I was pretty sure he didn’t believe me. I bit my lip trying to contain the shiver that went through me. He just…takes my breath away.
Everyone was complimenting my chili as they ate and it felt really good that they liked it so much. We were chatting about the game and laughing about our “discussion” of guys vs. girls.
After more beers, we decided to play pool. We gathered around the pool table and started our game. Z, just like before at the kitchen island, made sure he was standing next to me while we waited turns.
I let the guys play first. I figured I’d let them feel good about themselves for a little while. We all teased Clark about his prowling and, of course, he came back with a couple of one night stands Flynn and Z had with some psycho girls. Z teased him about Mary and how he needs a new accountant now because of him.
Melanie started a discussion with Clark and Flynn. I turned to Z and asked him what Z was short for. The sexiest expression came over his face and a cute spark in his eyes. “Guess…”
Okay, I’ll bite. I was getting pretty drunk from all my beers and flirting with Z was really appealing after all the little things he had done during the afternoon. “Zach.” I guessed, while giggling that he wanted to play this guessing game.
“Nope. Guess again,” he said nudging me a little more flirty and smiling broadly. I was staring at his lips now and my belly clenched and not because of the beer. He was so cute. In my drunken haze I was wondering how many names begin with the letter Z. I swallowed hard as I gave my best guess. “Umm, Zachary.”
“You already answered Zach; Zachary is just another form of that.” He gave me another nudge. “Come on, you can do better than that!” He teased.
His lips were wet from drinking his beer. I really wanted to kiss his lips. He was so much taller than me, so if I were to try, I’d really have to stand on my tiptoes. Actually, he would have to bend down a bit and…
“Hey, your turn blondie; it’s your game.” Clark shot a peanut at me, laughing. I snapped out of my mini fantasy and grabbed a cue stick. I broke and kept going. One right after the other I sunk each ball into its pocket after calling each shot ahead. Each time I sank one, the guys would start to cheer and say “Holy shit!” Clark said he had the biggest boner at one point. I just shook my head at him and returned to playing. After sinking the last one making an 8 Ball Run, I turned and smirked, “Who am I playin’ next?” The room was silent.
Flynn spoke up, still in shock. “Wow. How’d you learn how to play so well?”
I shrugged and blurted out, “I’ve been playing since I was five at pool halls while my mom was trying to pick up guys.”
“What?” Clark exclaimed. “How’d you get into pool halls that young?” Somehow he totally missed the part about my mom being a whore.
Z and Flynn were eyeing me curiously and I realized I needed to stop myself before they turned to pity eyes. I cursed myself for even opening the door to that conversation. “I snuck in.” I grabbed my beer and drank the rest of it down and tried to smile. Everyone was still quiet.
Melanie knew the truth so she cleared her throat and jumped off her bar stool. “I’ve got the next game. Who wants to play?” I smiled at her to thank her for changing the subject. She winked at me as I left to head into the kitchen.
“Who wants another beer?” I called out. Z came walking in behind me.
“So, umm, is that really true?” He asked slowly.
“Sort of. Actually, my story gets much better. But you don’t need to hear all that.” I dismissed it with a wave of my hand and then grabbed another beer, taking a swig. I think I was even slurring at that point. Pity was filling his eyes and I hated that more than anything. Cursing myself for saying that and possibly piquing his interest to find out more, I wanted to change the subject, but couldn’t think of anything else to say.