Proper Secrets (31 page)

“And to think that I missed you, cruel boy!
 
He did not propose, I could not accept him,” said Emily.

“I stopped him in time?
 
Marvelous!”
 
Unaffected by her stab at his imprisonment, Peter grinned.

“No, he had not intended to.”

“Then why the audience?”

“That is outside the bounds of what you requested with your threats,” said Emily.

“And you will not accept him, should he ask?” inquired Peter.
 
Emily glared at him and returned to her mother.
 
Lady Worthing and Capt. Wingrave made a wonderfully awkward picture, sitting in discomfort across the room from each other.
 
The whole morning had been so comical already, that Emily laughed when she saw them, so stiff in their seats.

“Emily, get a hold of yourself!
 
This is no time for laughing,” said Lady Worthing.
 
Peter joined his sister in a jovial release of tension.
 
Emily wrested her mouth into a lopsided smile, only bursting with chuckles every few moments instead.

“Did Mr. Corey conclude his business here?” inquired Lady Worthing when Emily and Peter finally sat.

“Oh yes, he was quite satisfied when he left,” said Emily.
 
Peter recognized this as teasing Elijah, and scowled at her.

“That is well,” said Lady Worthing, “Did he also visit your father?”

“You know Papa is not at home,” said Emily, giving away nothing.

“Oh,” said Lady Worthing.

“I doubt that he would.
 
Mr. Corey has no business with Papa,” said Peter.
 
Capt. Wingrave looked at Emily in annoyed amusement and shook his head.
 
She pretended not to see, instead leveling her gaze at Peter.

“How long shall we have the pleasure of officers in our house?
 
Is Fort Jennings taking care of itself?” she said.
 
Capt. Wingrave’s infuriating, serene smile did not wear on Emily as it usually would.
 
Like one who had been underwater too long, she desired to breath the air free of the sadness surrounding their impossible romance.

“The winter months tend to take more life than the fighting if both sides persist, so other than current border keeping, we are in stasis.
 
We are in Dunbarrow on assignment,” said Peter.
 

“A secret assignment,” said Capt. Wingrave, with no little emphasis on the secret.
 
Emily colored in rage.
 
How dare he treat it like a joke!

“Good, it will keep you busy.
 
Excuse me, Mama, I think I should tend to Bridget,” said Emily.
 
She rose, and with a hateful look at the Captain, exited their company.

“He did not propose?” inquired Bridget.

“No!
 
He told me that he would propose, sometime in the future.
 
Apparently, he wanted to erase my doubts,” laughed Emily.

“What rubbish,” said Bridget, joining in.

“Oh, and that he would love me, eventually,” Emily continued.

“Is that right?
 
Excuse me while I swoon!”
 
Bridget draped herself over the corner of the bed.

“I am glad he did not propose, actually.
 
Perhaps, in putting it off, he will never get back around to it, and I will not need to come up with an adequate refusal for his adequate affection,” said Emily, “But he did say other things that I wanted to speak with you about.”

“Oh?” said Bridget, lapsing back into poor spirits upon hearing Emily’s tone.

“He said that responsibility had been impressed upon he and Edward, that they were told to choose spouses of sense.
 
Does that sound familiar?”
 
Emily sat on the bed next to her sister as Bridget became rigid under the subject.

“No, it does not.
 
Mr. Annesley spoke of the wonders of Dunbarrow often during our time together, but not so much of his family.”

“I cannot explain his sudden distance, unless something happened whilst we were absent, that would affect his feelings.”
 
A knock on the door sounded.

“Mr. Annesley come to visit, misses.”
 
Bridget and Emily straightened themselves in astonishment.

“Why on earth would he visit after treatment like that?” said Emily.
 
They made haste to the sitting room, where their mother, the Captain, and Peter spoke with Mr. Annesley.

“Good day, ladies,” said Mr. Annesley, bowing, “I’ve come to ask Miss Emily to walk with me downtown.”
 
Confusion rang in the mind of everyone, like the thinnest of glass cups played by a musician.
 
It broke when Emily answered.

“A walk sounds… pleasant, thank you.
 
Allow me to dress for it.”
 
Mr. Annesley nodded and resumed speaking to Lady Worthing, though she’d been overwhelmed with the mixing of signals that day she hardly paid attention.
 
Emily took Bridget with her, more of a rescue, so that she wouldn’t have to sit with Mr. Annesley while Emily prepared.

“What is the meaning of this?” whispered Bridget as Emily collected her bonnet, gloves and jacket.

“I have no idea.
 
This morning has been one of the most awkward in my history.”

“Why did you accept his invitation?”

“I’m curious to hear what he has to say.
 
To go to all this trouble to invite me solely, I should think it important,” said Emily.
 
Bridget said nothing.
 
“You wait here, and I will tell you all about it when I get home.
 
I promise.”

Capt. Wingrave did not appreciate Mr. Annesley’s asking Emily for a walk, and it was made plain in his every feature as they left.
 
She sighed at the rather odd state of the day, unprecedented emotions spilling over, turning sensible people into petty creatures, herself included.

“What does a lady sigh for?” said Mr. Annesley.

“Many reasons, sir.
 
Just now I wondered at the purpose of this exercise,” said Emily.
 
Even with the fine weather, a slight breeze still stole around corners now and again as they meandered toward the shop district.

“I feel that you and I are connected in an amiable, and realistic way.
 
I merely wish to nurture that connection,” said Mr. Annesley.
 
True shock furrowed her brow.

“Would it not be better if my sister had come?” she inquired.
 
He pursed his lips.

“Allow me to clear the air, so that there is no mistake.
 
Your sister and I had a very agreeable friendship, but certain events over the last weeks have made me realize that she is too whimsical, too fragile to be considered for what would be a challenging, lifelong commitment.
 
If I were to choose a spouse from the Worthings, and join the considerable consequence of our families, I would want a woman beside me that I could depend upon, one that I could be honest with.
 
As much as I thought I felt for Miss Bridget, I’ve come to the conclusion that her free-spirited character would not blossom under those conditions.
 
You, though, Miss Emily, have proven yourself quite resilient under duress,” said Mr. Annesley.

“Please excuse me for the honesty you seem to admire, but you do not love me, and I cannot injure my sister that way,” said Emily.

“You see?
 
Even you fear that she could not handle the loss of a suitor, a man who has made her no promises.
 
You know about Jude, have faced his sacrilegious nature, and as much as you might assure me that Miss Bridget would think no less of me for his actions, I am not so certain.”

“A suitor?
 
That is not how she views you, as just a suitor,” said Emily.

“Yes, she views things very differently from the rest of the world,” said Mr. Annesley.
 
He became agitated with her arguments, but she would not let her sister be dismissed.

“That used to charm you, what has changed?” inquired Emily.
 
He looked around to be sure of no eavesdropping, then spoke.

“I left Dunbarrow once again to clean up one of Jude’s messes.
 
He leaves debts and women wherever he goes, and as much as we may have disowned him, I am still in charge of controlling the damage he does to our family name.
 
While I was gone, it came to me that I could not tell Miss Bridget what troubled me.
 
When your family came to Dunbarrow, and I saw you last night, standing strong next to your sister who wilted under nothing more than her assumptions about my behavior, I could not help but admit that you would be a better addition to the Annesleys.”

“I would not be so daft as to ignore that you feel something for Elijah Wingrave, as I do for Miss Bridget, and I would not ask for your hand before gaining your affection, and likewise I will be courting you like this, to inspire the respect and love a wife deserves,” said Mr. Annesley.

“I am sorry, Mr. Annesley, this seems very much like betrayal to me,” said Emily.

“It might, at first, which is why I would not ask you to marry me today.
 
Today, I ask for your continued friendship.
 
Is that agreeable?” said Mr. Annesley.

“I cannot refuse friendship, but I must warn you that I am against anything further than that, and will not be held responsible for any disappointment it may cause,” said Emily.

“I think we are already disappointed, are we not?
 
That the Wingraves hold their secrets, and that Bridget has developed so carefree.
 
I have never been disappointed in you, Miss Emily,” he said.

“But, I know that I am still in ignorance, that you did not, in fact, tell me every piece of the secret.
 
Is this not true?” said Emily.
 
The logical points Mr. Annesley drew vexed Emily to no end.
 
He made sense of everything but her feelings, for Capt. Wingrave, and her sister.
 
Neither would ever forgive her for turning a blind eye to love and marrying for practicality, even if the alternative was a life with no spouse.

“That is true.
 
I admit to lying by omission, and I apologize.
 
Unfortunately, I would not tell anyone the rest of it, except my trusted wife.
 
This future, I have in mind for you, and I’m glad to continue this friendship with our eyes open.”
 
Their walk was relatively short after that, as Mr. Annesley seemed to sense that she needed time and distance to absorb all he had said.
 
He bid her farewell at the door.
 
She rushed past the open sitting room where her father greeted Peter and Capt. Wingrave, straight up to her and Bridget’s room.
 
Bridget seemed to anticipate the look Emily had.

“Did he propose?” she inquired.
 
Emily looked on Bridget with surprise.
 
How had she guessed his intention so completely?
 
Emily collected herself and remembering her promise, told the truth, though she struggled to rip it from her own throat.

“No.
 
He told me he intends to.
 
That he might eventually love me,” said Emily.

“That sounds so different, coming from him,” said Bridget.
 
She collapsed in tears.

“I am so sorry, I—“

“No, I know.
 
You have never attempted to engage him.
 
This is all Mr. Annesley’s repentance for his brother.
 
He feels he must be a perfect son, according to the ideals of society, and I do not care enough about pretension or status to fill that need.
 
You so naturally blend, level-headed, responsible Emily.
 
I know him, I know him, I know the real him so well!”
 
Sobbing strangled Bridget’s voice, and Emily, gathering her sister up in her arms, cried along with her.

“This has been the worst day of my life notwithstanding when we thought Peter was lost.
 
I would never act to harm you this way,” said Emily, “But he loves you.
 
I know he does.”

“What is feeling if it is all for naught?” Bridget mumbled, “Didn’t you used to say that after Capt. Wingrave left?”

“An offhand remark has made a great impact, and I hate that it was Miss Morley who first brought the idea to my attention,” said Emily.

“She may have had the right of it, and we were wrong,” said Bridget.

“I cannot believe that, just yet.
 
I told her then that no emotion was for naught if we are to remain of human soul.
 
I would not take back any feeling I have had with regards to Elijah Wingrave, no matter how doomed we seem to be, because when I feel love for him, I am alive, I am human.
 
My blood spills over my veins, and warms every corner of me.
 
You will be strong for me Bridget, you will not give up,” said Emily.