Protection (27 page)

The Frenchman chuckled and asked Lisa when she would be joining him for a pastry baking
session. “I’m yet to learn the secret to the chocolate pastries
you told me so much about. I’d like a demonstration.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be possible.” Her smile fading, Lisa looked to where
Nathaniel was observing the exchange. “Spending time baking isn’t appropriate behaviour
for a marchioness.”

“Says who?” he asked.

“Everyone,
I imagine.”

Ignoring the watching staff, Nathaniel closed the distance between them and rested
his hands on her shoulders.

“Well,
everyone
can mind their own business. If my wife wants to spend time baking delicacies which,
I can assure you, I will greatly enjoy eating, then she jolly well shall.”

“Truly?” Lisa blinked. “But aren’t you concerned about what people will think?”

“Not in the least. But we don’t have to make a public announcement if you would prefer
to keep your hobby a secret.”

“It’s hardly a secret,” she said wryly. “The entire country has learned the shocking
news I worked as a pastry chef when in hiding. Although I don’t think our neighbours
will be impressed if they hear I’ve voluntarily returned to the kitchen.”

Nathaniel shrugged and looked to the hovering staff.

“Do you think we could keep this between us so as not to embarrass the Marchioness?
She loves to bake, and I want her to be able to enjoy her hobby without fear of censure
from the local harridans.”

“Of course!” Chef Louis boomed. “Mademoiselle Anneliese, I mean
Madame
Marsden, should not be deprived from indulging her passions,
oui
?”

“
Oui
.” Nathaniel looked to the other staff, who gave their assurances, then smiled upon
meeting Lisa’s stunned gaze.

“Are you certain you wouldn’t mind? Baking is hardly an acceptable pastime for a lady.”

“It is if it makes you happy. I have been remiss if you think I would deny you something
you desire.”

“Aren’t you afraid of my taking terrible advantage?”

Nathaniel’s eyes darkened, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled a long, slow breath.
“Of course not.” He looked away before escorting her from the kitchens and continuing
their tour of the estate.

The encounter encouraged Lisa on two fronts. While she was pleased to know she’d be
able to return to a pastime she enjoyed, more importantly, she was given cause to
question Nathaniel’s motivation. If, as she was beginning to suspect, his actions
were a misguided attempt to ensure her well-being rather than a deliberate pandering
to society’s expectations, she had reason to hope for a return to the way things were
between them when the rules
had not applied to her—the way she preferred.

Not unexpectedly, when Nathaniel kissed her good night in the sitting room that adjoined
their suites that evening, Lisa received the impression he would not be joining her.
Again.

Taking a deep breath, she eyed him determinedly. “Shall I come to your room tonight,
or will you come to mine?”

“That won’t be necessary, sweetheart. It’s been a long day, and I’m sure you would
appreciate your rest.”

“Oh, you’re sure,
are you?” She crossed her arms, and he blinked.

“Lisa?”

“You are
sure
I would appreciate my rest.”

“Well . . . yes?”

“Just as you were
sure
I wouldn’t have welcomed you in my bed during the journey here, even though I informed
you I sleep perfectly well with you beside me,
better
than when I’m alone.”

Nathaniel winced. “I’m sorry, but I’d thought I would be able to sleep beside you
on those nights when we haven’t—when we
can’t—
make love, but I fear my self-control doesn’t extend that far.”

“Are you referring to when I have my courses?” Lisa’s frown deepened. “I wasn’t expecting
us to share a bed then, unless it wouldn’t bother you lying beside me, but they’re
not due for almost a fortnight.”

“Oh, that’s . . . good to know.” Nathaniel looked a little squeamish at her disclosure,
and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“So, would you like to join me, or shall I join you?”

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, a habit she’d heard his valet grumble about
more than once but that Lisa usually found endearing. At the moment, she was too annoyed
to think it charming.

“I can assure you, I feel perfectly well,” she added, hoping to alleviate his concern.

“I’m glad to hear it, but we’ve already made love three times
since we wed, and it hasn’t even been a week.”

It was Lisa’s turn to stare blankly. “So? I can recall some memorable occasions when
we made love three times in one
night
at Worthington, not to mention entire days we spent in my bed.”

“For which I am trying
to make amends.” Nathaniel hung his head. “I appreciate your lack of rancour over
the past, Lisa, but three times in one week is more than sufficient. Hell, most gentlemen
would be grateful for three times a month!”

“I see.” She pursed her lips before continuing. “So we’re to be limited to engaging
in conjugal relations no more than three times a week—if that—because society dictates
any more is excessive.”

“Society?” Nathaniel frowned. “I don’t give a damn about society’s opinion or anyone
else’s for that matter. It’s none of their business.”

“I agree, but it appears my opinion counts for little also.”

Nathaniel threw his arms wide, appearing as exasperated as she felt. “But your opinion
is the only
one that counts.”

“How can you say that when you’ve never sought it? Not in this regard.”

“Because I know how generous you are, and I feared you would . . .” His words trailed
away.

Lisa resisted the urge to throw a cushion at him. “Lie? Say I want to make love when
I don’t? Pretend to enjoy your attentions when I find indulging them a chore?”

Nathaniel took a step back. “Well, no . . .”

“Or is all your talk of accepting me the way I am the real lie? You say
I’ve nothing to be ashamed of, but what if I were to admit I want
to be able to make love more than once a night on occasions and that every
night would be my preference? I realise that might change in future, but we’re on
our honeymoon, Nathaniel, finally able to be together legitimately, yet I fear expressing
my true desires will incur your disdain.”

When he didn’t immediately deny her accusation, Lisa turned and left, afraid she might
say something she would regret—or throw something harder than a cushion. Alone in
her room, she waited for Nathaniel to follow her, but he didn’t. It was only when
she was wearing a plain,
comfortable
nightgown, curled up in her overly large bed, that she allowed her tears to fall.

Chapter 25

Assumptions

Nathaniel stared at Lisa’s retreating back, his mouth hanging open.

What the hell just happened?

Shaking his head, he crossed to the buffet and poured himself a shot of brandy. He
wasn’t sure consuming alcohol would be the wisest move, as his thoughts were already
confused, so he sat nursing the drink while he rehashed their conversation.

If he understood correctly, Lisa wanted
to make love every night, and she wouldn’t be averse to more than once. In trying
to protect her—from what he was no longer sure—it sounded as if he’d made her feel
inadequate. He had also put her in the unenviable position of having to broach the
delicate topic, and he feared she would consider his stunned silence a rejection of
her brave advance.

“Damn,” he muttered. He should have just come out and asked her what she wanted. Assuming
had made an ass of him,
again.

Nathaniel stared into his glass before a smile slowly stretched his lips.

Lisa wanted him to make love to her every
night, and she wouldn’t be averse to more than once.

“Jennings?” he called, putting the brandy aside and wrestling with the knot on his
cravat.

“Sweetheart, are you asleep?” Nathaniel whispered upon finding Lisa curled on her
side, looking a little lost in the enormous bed.

“No, I’m awake.” She sat up and crossed her arms. “I’m not a child, Nathaniel. If
you’ve come to make sure I’m getting my rest, so help me—”

He raised his hands. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then what do you want?”

Considering her less than congenial tone, he refrained from blurting
you
, despite it being the truth.

“I’ve come to apologise,” he said, and she plopped back against the pillow. “Not
for offending you, well, not in the way I thought I had in the past.”

She leaned up on an elbow. “In what way, then?”

“I should have asked you what you wanted instead of presuming I knew best. I honestly
don’t care about society’s opinion, Lisa. What occurs in our bedroom is no one’s business
but ours, and I do not and never will think badly of you for wanting me the way I
want you.”

“Are you certain?”

The wariness in her tone pricked at his conscience, and he came to sit beside her
on the bed. “Absolutely, and I’m sorry for sending mixed messages again.”

“I’d say your messages were fairly direct,” she said dryly. “Just misguided and ill-informed.”

Nathaniel’s lip twisted at her assessment. “Since my making assumptions has gotten
us into this pickle, may I be so bold as to ask for clarification?”

“You may.” Her expression was still serious, but he detected a lightening in her eyes,
giving him hope he’d not damaged things between them irreparably.

“Did I understand correctly that you’d not be averse to our being intimate more often
than a few nights a week, even more than once
a night on occasion?”

Lisa ducked her head, but she couldn’t hide her smile. “If you’re absolutely certain
you wouldn’t think badly of me, then yes, that would be my preference.”

“Thank God!” Nathaniel wrapped his arms around her and rolled them both to the middle
of the bed. “Not that I’ve anything to complain about, as I can assure you I’d have
been grateful if you’d said three times a week were sufficient, but I would be most
pleased to accommodate your preference.”

Lisa giggled. “Considering you’re still wearing your robe, I’m in my nightgown, not
to mention the way you’ve tangled the sheets around us, it may take a while before
we can oblige one another.”

“Minx,” he whispered, lowering his head until their mouths met. Before the kiss could
get too far out of hand, he raised his head. “Promise me one thing? If you ever feel
disinclined,
you mustn’t hesitate to tell me. I’m sure there’ll be nights when you’re
tired, or not feeling well, or just not in the mood for whatever reason. I don’t want
you to think you are beholden in any way.”

“I won’t.” Lisa cupped his cheek. “I promise to be honest with you, as long as you
promise to do the same. There may be some nights
you
prefer not to make love.”

Nathaniel barked a laugh. “Sweetheart, I’m afraid you will need to be the one in charge
of exercising restraint, as I’m fairly certain I would still be eager on my deathbed.”

“Foolish man.” She drew his head down to hers and kissed him in a way that was anything
but restrained.

“Let me up,” she whispered when they finally paused for breath.

“Why?” he grumbled, nuzzling her neck. “I like you right where you are.”

“As do I.” She wriggled beneath him. “But I need a moment to prepare
if we’re going to deviate from our established routine, and a little less material
between us would be nice.”

By the time Lisa returned, Nathaniel was waiting beneath the covers. She’d undone
her hair from its braid, leaving it loose around her shoulders, but still wore the
serviceable nightgown. After spying his robe draped across a chair, she didn’t hesitate
to whisk her gown off over her head before joining him beneath the sheets. Completely
naked. Just as she had on their wedding night.