“What did they say he had?”
“They said it was the flu. Can you imagine that, the flu? I don't think I've ever heard of a president getting the flu and canceling meetings because of it. Don't they give him flu shots and stay on top of that kind of stuff?” Mel handed me a bowl of chili. “I read this morning,” I went on, “that one of those weapons the Soviets built could bring on flu-like symptoms. Do you suppose that had anything to do with it?”
“Sink your teeth into that, and try to talk about anything else.” Riley said grinning. “Hope you like it hot!” He took a big mouthful and thought as he chewed. “You'll be surprised what you see happening in the world around you as you progress in your training. It's a very strange sensation to have a different kind of knowledge about everything, I don't want to muddy the waters for you right now, it's way too early. Suffice it to say that what you thought was normal, what you and everyone else in this world around us takes for granted, just might not be what you think it is. I mean, already you're speculating on whether Bush is really sick or one of our many enemies is targeting him with viewers or machines.” He took another mouthful of chili. “See? Five hours ago, that possibility would never have entered your mind.”
I swallowed a spoonful of chili as I walked back into the living room, and my mucous membranes screamed. My eyes teared and my tongue seemed to swell out of my mouth.
“Too hot for you?”
I was determined not to show weakness. “No ⦠just right.” I ate in a hurry.
“That was fast,” Riley said when my bowl was empty. “Want some more? There's plenty.”
“No, thanks,” I said hoarsely. “I had a big breakfast.” I sat there watching the rest of the news as my belly churned. I tried to remain more or less still.
After three bowls of chili, Riley looked at his watch, “Better start heading back. We don't waht anyone to start looking for us.”
I walked gingerly back to the office with Mel, trying not to slop the contents of my stomach. “What is this tarot card thing? Do we all learn how to do that?”
Riley's face turned red as he clamped down hard with his jaws. “Nope! That's purely individual choice. And if you're asking, I don't recommend it.”
“WhyâI mean, if it works?”
“Who the fuck knows if it works or not? That's the question. There haven't been any studies conducted, no research. Everything else you'll learn here has been scientifically tested and validated, and the training protocols have been documented and tested over time. There's no mystery there. But we don't know where this other crap, like channeling or automatic writing or tarot cards, is coming from. Shit! Most of it has been a circus act for Gypsies and now we have it in a scientific intelligence program. It's bullshit, and I know it; but you'll have to see for yourself, I won't be able to convince you.”
When we arrived at the office, I walked straight to my desk and dived into the remaining files. For the rest of the afternoon I carefully read and reread the historical foundation of my new future.
It was about five and the office was emptying for the day. Everyone was gone except for Levy, Mel, and me. I had about five more files to look at before calling it a day, when Levy approached my desk.
“I've brought you some papers to sign. You can do it here and I'll do what is necessary with them.”
He laid them in front of me and the first heading caught my attention: “[Human Use Agreement].” “What's this one?” I asked.
“It's your Human Use Agreement. Everyone here has signed one. Essentially it states that you understand that you are participating voluntarily in an experimental program using humans, and that you will not hold the federal government responsible for any damage that might occur.”
I sat there staring at him for a moment. “What sort of damage?”
Levy seemed a little put out, as if I should have figured this out before now. “It should be obvious what sort of damage. You are involving yourself in the phenomena of time and space travel, in the viewing of events from a perspective that no other humans have ever experienced.” He paused for a moment. “Some people who have undergone this training didn't fare well.”
I continued to stare at him blankly, which meant to him that I wasn't satisfied with the answer.
“We have had some hospitalizations, and some removals from the training. If you are not well rooted in your belief structure, or if you have trouble comprehending what you see in the ether ⦠well, you can have problems. You can suffer some emotional damageâa breakdown, if you will. That seems to be the worst of it, but it has happened on occasion. I'm sure you will not have any problems.”
“Jeez, Bill, why didn't anyone say something about this to me before now?”
“Would it have made any difference in your decision? You had to know that this involved risks; common sense would tell you that. Are you trying to say that you wouldn't be here now if I'd told you there were risks involved in the training? Come on!”
“Where do I sign?”
“At the bottom of the second page. The rest of this stuff is simple nondisclosure documentation and some other administrative paperwork. The only critical one is the Human Use Agreement.”
I signed each of the documents as Levy stood there watching me. I couldn't shake the strange feeling the Human Use Agreement gave me. I began to wonder if I should tell Levy about all the dreams and visions I'd been having. I thought Barker had done all that, but perhaps he hadn't; then where would I be? Could that make it worse for me, could it screw me up in some way?
“Bill ⦔ I hesitated. “Am I in any real danger here? I'm already on thin ice with Debbie as a result of everything that's happened since the gunshot. I'm not backing
out; I'd never do that. I want to do this more than anything I've ever done. But I want to take any necessary precautions.”
Levy gathered the papers and stacked them neatly in front of himself. “It's like I said the first day we met, David: this training will change you for the rest of your life. Neither you nor your family will ever be the same. You agreed to this training, and you must understand that and never forget it. No one is forcing you to be here, and you can say the word and walk out that front door today; nobody will ever say a thing about it. Or you can stay, and learn what every man only dreams about. It's your decision; you need to be comfortable with it, and your family does as well. We have lost many because they weren't ready. We are going to teach you to transcend time and space, and we will teach you to come back and report to us what you have seen.”
I was numb, my head spinning with a thousand different questions all over again. “How do I know if I'm ready or not?”
“I think you already do. I don't think there's a doubt in your mind that you are ready.”
I nodded. “You're right. I'm ready, and I think you know I'll give it everything I've got.”
“Good. We'll begin tomorrow.” He collected the papers and walked back to his office. “You need to get out of here. I make it a rule to be the last one to leave the office, and I'm ready to leave now.”
Â
Later that night, with the children gathered and kneeling around me, and Debbie by my side, I tried my best to explain my new adventure. I began as if telling a bedtime story, “You all know that I've started a new job, don't you?” I waited for their little heads to nod before continuing. “Well, this new job is a little different than anything Daddy has done before. They say that I ⦠I mean, we, as a family, will be going through a dramatic change, and we all need to be prepared.” I struggled to make the nature of
the assignment clear. “Daddy is going to learn how to walk with the angels.”
“Walk with angels? Really?” Danielle and Mariah's eyes lit up.
“That's right.”
Michael, now ten, tried to be more sophisticated and critical than his highly impressed sisters. “So, what else you gonna do?”
I noticed tears in Debbie's eyes, and I held her hand tightly.
“Let's see ⦠I will travel to other worlds, see things that happened long ago, and learn to see things that haven't even happened yet.”
Debbie asked in a quiet voice, “You mean, walk through time?”
I looked at her troubled face. “Honey, I know that my spirituality is going to be shaken, even redefined. I'm counting on you and the children to be my anchor. If you're not there to support me, I'm not certain I can go through with this.”
She said, “I'm not sure I want you to go through with this! I'm sure this is fascinating for you, but it's scaring me, and eventually it will scare the kids as well.” She stood and stomped away. “You children go on and play now, Daddy and Mommy want to talk to each other. Go on! Go and play!” They scattered, looking worried. Danielle began to sob. “It's okay, Danielle, stay with Mariah. Mariah, take your little sister and go up in your room and play. I'll be along shortly.”
“Honey, come on.” I tried to defuse her. “I didn't mean to frighten them.”
“You probably didn't frighten
them
, but you're scaring
me
to death. This problem you've been having has been going on far too long, and now you nonchalantly come home and announce to the children and me that you are going to walk with angels and waltz back and forth through time. Just what the hell do you think you're doing, David? I asked you to get professional help for this problem and
you assure me that this new unit will be just the thing for itâwell, damn it! It just doesn't sound like that to me. It sounds to me like you are going stark raving mad and you've found some military unit willing to watch you do it while they take notes. What the hell's gotten into you? Don't you think of us at all?”
“Of course I think of you. What do you want me to do? It wasn't my fault that I got shot. I didn't want the visions; I didn't ask for them. All I want to do is be a soldier and get on with my life.”
“Damn you!” She lashed out at me, striking my arm. “That's not what you're doing. You're off on another missionâanother assignment from your precious army. You don't give a damn about us or you'd be getting the help you need for your problem, not using it to venture into some bizarre bullshit unit that will only make you worse.”
“If that's the way you feel about it, then pack your bags and leave!”
“I'm not leaving! I love you and you are my husband. I'm angry and frustrated and I feel alone in this. You have a problem and you need help. Now all you've done is get into a place where everyone has a problem.”
“Debbie ⦔ I tried to hold her. “You're making more of this than it is.”
She moved away. “No, I'm not, David.” Her voice calmed and took on a serious tone. “No, I'm not blowing this one out of proportion. I talked with a therapist today, and he thinks you need to see him now.”
“That's crap! I don't need a goddamned therapist, don't you understand? Sun Streak will help me learn to deal with this ⦠it will explain it!”
Debbie let out a shuddering sigh. “I can see that you're going to do whatever you choose, and I have nothing to say about it. I never believed we'd be at a crossroads like this.”
“Look,” I said, “we've been through all this before. You agreed to give it a chance. If it doesn't work out, then we'll try something else. Right? Didn't you agree to that?”
I pulled her close to me and looked into her eyes. “Come on, honey, just give it some time. I'll live up to my end of the bargain; just support me in this. Okay?”
“We'll be there for you, David. We'll be there to pick up the pieces, too, when there's nothing left of you to love. But you owe us more than that.” She turned and walked away. “When Levy said this unit would change your life forever, he was right. It's already started to.”
Â
The next morning I arrived at the unit bright and early. Jenny was there ahead of me and had already made a pot of coffee.
“Big day for you, huh?”
“Yeah, and I'm excited, too. My first day of lecture.”
Jenny chuckled. “Well, don't get too excited, it's the part of training everybody hates. It's long and boring and there's a lot of writing involved. Most of the viewers would rather get a sharp stick in the eye than have to endure lecture again.”
“That bad, huh? Well, I'll probably be the first guy to repeat it. I hate sitting in a classroom for anything. I'm more of a doer.”
Mel popped in the door, his cheeks rosy from the cold outside. “Morning. Are you ready?” He winked at Jenny.
“He's chomping at the bit,” she said. “Been here waiting for you.”
“Well, give me just a few minutes to get some stuff pulled together and we'll go get started.” He looked at the scheduling board next to the door. “We've got the garden room all day, all week. Good!”