Pucked Over (Pucked #3) (6 page)

The winky face annoys me almost as much as being called out on jumping him. And being reminded of the stupid car wash pictures that made me go berserk. I decide to be cheeky.

Who is this
?

The humping dots appear right away.

The guy whose face u came on earlier
.

Every muscle below my waist clenches. Blood rushes to my cheeks and then moves lower, tingles following. I chew my fingernail, unsure if I want to play this game with him. I should brush him off. The trail of emotionally crippled bunnies with his name tattooed on their bodies should be the equivalent of CAUTION tape. But those orgasms…

My phone rings, startling me. I answer it before I can appropriately weigh my options.

There’s no hello, just Randy’s deep, sexy voice low in my ear. “Still a little foggy, Lily? Having a hard time remembering? Wanna come by my hotel so I can refresh your memory?”

I bite my knuckles to stop myself from saying yes. Of all the bad ideas, going to his hotel definitely tops the list. I’m guaranteed to make all kinds of bad decisions. Including the one I want to make the most, which is letting him get inside me. I don’t know if it’s normal to be this attracted to another human being.

I go with snark, because it’s safe. “So I’m guessing you didn’t find a bunny to ride your dick?

Randy chuckles. “Nope. My dick told me he didn’t want a bunny. He’s holding out for you.”

I roll my eyes, even though he can’t see me. “Does that line work?”

“It’s not a line. Me and my dick are tight. We had a very serious conversation.”

I laugh. “Well, you should tell him not to hold his breath. He’ll turn blue.”

“He’s already blue. You should come by my hotel and see.”

“You can send me a picture.” I’m almost hoping he does.

“It’s not the same. What if I come see you instead?”

I can’t even imagine someone like Randy in a bedroom like mine. “You’re persistent, aren’t you?”

“Is that you saying yes?”

I hesitate for a second, knowing full well if I agree it’s a booty call. “I can’t. I have to wash my hair.”

“Oh, man. The hair-washing excuse? And here I thought we had fun together. Well, if I can’t convince you to come to see me, I’m gonna go take care of my own problem. Night, Lily. See you in a couple weeks.”

The reminder that we’ll be seeing each other at the engagement party is yet another reason I shouldn’t keep entertaining this possibility.

“Night, Blue Balls,” I shoot back.

“So clever. Not for long. I’ll be thinking of you.”

Randy hangs up. I send him a meme of an old lady with no teeth with the caption “Let’s Make Out.”

Ten minutes later, I get one back of his middle finger on the hand with the tattoo. That finger has been inside me recently. He’s taken it while lying in his hotel bed with only a sheet covering him from the waist down. His tight abs and the deep, heavily muscled V are captured beautifully. I can see, very clearly, a lump that resembles the shape of his cock under that white cotton. I can also see his blurred reflection in the mirror. His hair is loose and messy, brushing his chin. He’s the picture of absolute relaxation.

I don’t send a response. Instead I shut down my computer, lock my door, and get out my magic bullet. I pull the covers over my head and get myself off while staring at that damn picture on my phone.

What The Hell is Normal Anyway?

LILY

The next morning my phone wakes me up. I feel around for it on my nightstand. It’s not there. I find it under my pillow, where I left it after I rolled my marble to Randy’s middle finger. Three times. I think I have a problem.

“’Lo?” I mumble.

“Are you still asleep?” Sunny asks.

“Not anymore.” Sunny gets up stupidly early even on the days she doesn’t have to work. I’m lucky she waited this long to call.

“Great! Get dressed. I’m picking you up in fifteen minutes. I made cinnamon buns, and we’re having family brunch. And make sure you bring a bathing suit since all mine fall off you.”

“It’s freezing out.”

“It’s hardly freezing, Lily. It’s going to be eighteen degrees today.”

“That’s not pool weather.”

“We cranked the water heater. It’s like a sauna.”

“Wait. What about Randy? Is he going to be there?” My vagina gets all excited by the thought.

“He flew back to Chicago this morning. You
will
be telling me what happened last night. See you soon.” She hangs up.

I lie there for a minute and stare at the ceiling, working up the energy to get out of bed and take a quick shower. Instead, I check my messages from last night. Not just to look at Randy’s middle finger and naked chest, or the hint of peen under the white sheet. Although that’s part of the reason. I have a message from him. It’s another picture. It’s a close up of his neck and jaw. He’s wearing a T-shirt. Red lines travel from his ear and disappear under his collar. It was sent at six this morning.

I’m collecting 4 damages next time I cu
.

Oh, man. Those are scratches. From me. I wonder exactly what collecting for damages entails. I don’t have the guts to ask, either. I’m certain the answer will make me regret not taking him up on his offer of a visit last night.

I toss my phone aside and roll out of bed. I shuffle to the bathroom across the hall. The apartment is quiet. I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I turn on the shower. My hair is sticking up all over the place. On second thought, if Randy woke up next to me looking like this, it’d be the last invite I got.

Less than ten minutes later I’m showered. I open the bathroom door and scream. There’s a man standing in the hall in a pair of—
please God why?—
tightie-whities. I’d estimate him to be in his late thirties to mid-forties. He’s actually in decent shape, although there’s some graying and male pattern baldness. I’m also having a hard time keeping my eyes on his face, because he’s tenting the front of his underwear with some morning wood.

“What the shit?” I yell as he stands there, gawking. “Mom! There’s a mostly naked man in the hallway! Is he yours?”

She comes out of her bedroom in one of her satin robes. I try to hold in my gag, knowing she was probably getting the action I should have gotten last night. She runs her hand through her sex hair. “I thought you were staying at Sunny’s last night.”

“So he is yours.” I point at the silent man standing two feet away from me. He’s still flag poling, but he’s put his hands down to cover it. “Just checking to make sure some half-naked crazy pervert didn’t wander into our apartment with a hard-on.”

“Lily!”

“What? It’s true. And it’s happened before.”

“Mr. Van Winkle isn’t a pervert. He’s senile. He forgets where he lives sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, he also forgets to wear clothes.” Judging from what happens in his saggy underwear, Mr. Van Winkle was probably a hit with the ladies in his day. I turn sideways and slide by my mom’s date from last night. Thankfully, I’m skinny enough that I don’t have to touch him, since he seems incapable of moving out of the way.

I lock my door and throw on a pair of leggings and a hoodie. I stuff a bathing suit into my knapsack and my clean skating gear, since I have lessons to teach this evening. I’m banking on Sunny being able to drive me to the rink. My phone beeps as I’m running a brush through my hair. It’s Sunny letting me know she’s here. She knows enough not to come up unless I invite her. My mom’s chatty. She can keep us here for hours with tea and lectures about men. Although that’s not likely to happen today, what with her man friend.

I open the door a crack and peek my head out. The hall is empty. I tiptoe down it, shove my feet into ballet flats, lift my keys from the hook, and open the door.

“Going to Sunny’s and then work. Be back later!” I let the door close behind me before my mom can stop me with requests for groceries.

Sunny’s waiting out in front of my building in her Prius. It was a birthday present from her brother. I don’t have my own car. Public transit and my bike are my rides of choice. Guelph isn’t big, and I don’t live too far from work. Plus, cars are expensive; the one my mom and I share is constantly in need of repair.

I slip into the passenger seat and wait until Sunny pulls into traffic before I check my ringing phone.

She glances at me and then back at the road, her hands at ten and two like they’re supposed to be. The GPS is tracking our drive, even though she’s been to the apartment at least two thousand times. Sunny’s directionally challenged. And she’s very diligent about following road rules.

“Who’s calling you? Randy? What happened in that bathroom?”

“It’s my mom. She probably wants to give me a list of things to bring home. I don’t know why she doesn’t text.” I let the call go to voice mail and shove it back in my bag. “So, get this, my mom brought home her date.”

“Last night? Did you meet him?”

“I did this morning.”

“No!” Sunny’s eyes go wide.

“Yup. He was wearing tightie-whities and showing off his hard-on.”

“Oh my God!” Sunny’s mortification matches my own.

“So classy, right? Anyway, my mom thought I was at your place, so I guess she figured it would be safe.”

“I’m sorry, Lily.”

I shrug and make a joke out of it. “I guess the good thing is, there’s a low probability that I’ll ever see him again.”

Sunny doesn’t get what it’s like to live in a house with a revolving door of boyfriends. Her parents have been together forever.

I have no idea if my dad was the first professional athlete my mom scored with, but he was the one who got her pregnant. So since then, as long as the guy doesn’t play hockey, he’s fair game. I think it’s kind of insane, because any guy can be a deadbeat, not just hockey players. Still, if I ever came home with a hockey-stick-toting boy, I’d hear about it. Hence the reason my mother will
never
know about my romp with Randy.

“How was the rest of your night?” I ask Sunny after she doesn’t respond. I mean really, what is there to say? “The event went so well. Miller did great. How was Michael feeling by the end?” It’s definitely not a subtle change of topic, but Sunny doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe she doesn’t want me to dwell on the unfortunate visual of my mom’s date’s man rod.

“It was amazing, wasn’t it? Michael’s such a trooper. He’s tired today, though. Miller called him to see how he’s doing. He really is wonderful, isn’t he? I’m so in love with him. I can’t even tell you. Last night he managed to get past Titan so we could get in some alone time. I can’t wait until this semester is over.” She taps the steering wheel and bounces in her seat.

“How’d he manage to get past Titan?” Sunny’s little Papillon is super protective.

“Cookies.” Sunny giggles. That’s Miller’s nickname for her vag. She thinks she’s hilarious when referring to actual baked goods.

Sunny’s mentioned moving to Chicago more than once since the fall semester began. It makes me nervous. We were supposed to move into an apartment or a little house after we finished college.
I received my bachelors in kinesiology this past April, but the jobs in my field aren’t the best unless I continue on for a master’s degree, which is expensive. I also don’t want to give up teaching figure skating, because well, it’s been my life since I could walk.
Anyway, Sunny switched programs last year, so it’s taking her a little longer, but this has been the plan for the past three years.

I don’t know what I’ll do without her if she goes to Chicago. Especially since I broke up with Benji, and I honestly don’t want to get back together with him. We’ve been apart for more than a month. I’ve avoided all of his phone calls, aside from the one where I told him I wasn’t kidding about being done. He had some very choice words, none of which were nice, and all of which reinforced the reasons why I don’t want to be with him anymore. There’s nothing more heartwarming than being told I’m a “titless slut who deserves the next loser who fucks and chucks” me.

Anyway, Benji’s out, and if Sunny leaves, that’s another one of my ties to here severed. I don’t want my mom to be the only thing left for me.

“You know, Lily, we could both move to Chicago at the end of the fall semester. Between Alex and Miller, I’ll have a placement all worked out for the winter. It’d be the perfect way to start the new year.” She glances at me before focusing on the road again. “Alex is looking into buying a little house, and I’ll pay him rent or something. He thinks it would be a good investment. He has lots of contacts, and there are all sorts of opportunities in Chicago. You could teach skating to pre-pro hockey kids, or figure skating. Plus you have dual citizenship, so there isn’t anything holding you back, especially since you and Benji are done for good, right?”

“I don’t know. I can’t just leave my mom here.” I run my fingertip over a snag in my leggings. It’s a lame excuse, but I’ve never been much for change. Staying with Benji even though he was a terrible boyfriend is a good example of that. Moving to Chicago would be a huge change. Also, Randy’s there. My vagina is already aware and excited.

“Your mom can take care of herself. I don’t think it would be a bad idea for you to at least consider it. We’d have so much fun.”

“Why don’t you move in with Miller?” I ask.

“We haven’t been dating that long, and I want to live on my own first. I don’t want to move into his space and just try to fit in there, you know?”

“But you’ll move into his place eventually.”

“Probably, but it doesn’t need to happen right away. Alex is the one who likes to rush things.”

“He’s really pushing for this wedding to happen, isn’t he?” It’s weird. But then, that’s Alex.

Sunny sighs. “I think he might send Violet over the edge.”

Violet and Alex have been together for nine months, give or take. Ever since he put a ring on her finger this summer, Sunny’s mom has been hounding them to set a date. Violet hasn’t committed to anything yet. The only thing she’s allowed so far is this engagement party I’ve evidently agreed to go to. Not that I’m complaining. Mostly.