Authors: Danielle Bannister
I’m just about to bite into my sub when I hear a banging on the door downstairs. I jog down to open the door and see a figure outside standing in profile, pressed up against the window. At first I think it must be campus police coming to kick me out, but then my heart stops. It’s Naya. She's looking at something outside that's making her positively terrified.
Chapter 10
Naya
Please, please let the door be open!
I can hear Seth slamming the car door and cursing my name from a few yards away. Never once have I dared to make him this angry, and I am petrified about what he'll do to me when he gets here.
My fingers lace around the door to the theatre, and I try and heave it open with all my might, but it doesn't budge.
Shit!
“
Naya!” Seth growls from somewhere deep in the shadows. His voice is literally dripping with fury and he's getting closer. I'm about to run again, when I notice a light coming from an upstairs window. I start beating on the door frantically, hoping against hope that whoever is up there will come and let me in before Seth finds me.
“
Open the door!” I shout over and over again, my voice growing weaker with each plea. Fear creeps in with each passing second, quickly paralyzing me.
It's too late. I've run out of time. Defeated, I lie back against the door and wait for his wrath. My heart hammers in my chest when I make out Seth's silhouette emerging from the darkness. He stops under a street lamp and the resulting shadow that's cast down upon his face, makes him look absolutely terrifying.
“
Come here,
now,
” Seth commands. I start to shake. I'll be punished either way, but maybe if I go to him willingly, he'll show me some mercy. Maybe.
Just as my feet start to inch forward, I feel my body falling backwards. A pair of hands surrounds my arms from behind, pulling me inside the building. The way my skin burns against those hands means it can only be Etash.
He looks at me and I can tell he's confused, but there is not time to explain.
“
Lock the door!” I scream. He hesitates for half a second before he shuts the door. The lock clicks into place, and I breathe a sigh of relief. But even that is stolen away when I see Seth outside marching up to the door. Etash sees him too, and his entire body tenses.
“
What’s going on?” Etash hisses. He turns to look at me and my disheveled appearance: my shaking hands holding up my ripped dress, my hair falling wildly around my face, and mascara running down my red, tear-streaked cheeks. I know what I must look like, and I can’t help but feel ashamed.
“
Did he…?” Etash's voice is trembling.
“
Let me in!” Seth shouts, banging his fist against the glass of the window so hard that I scream.
“
Go away or I’m calling the police!” Etash shouts back, moving his body in front of me.
Seth presses his forehead to the glass and stares Etash down.
“
That’s
my
girlfriend in there.”
Etash reaches into his back pocket. “And this is
my
cell phone. And if you don't leave
right now
, I'm calling the police.”
When Seth doesn't move, Etash starts punching numbers on his phone which causes Seth to hit the glass again, nearly shattering it, before he finally stalks off.
“
Are you okay?” Etash asks when he’s gone.
I nod quickly, but start to cry. Without a word, he scoops me up in his arms, and cradles me against his bare chest. The warmth of his skin against my cold and shaking limbs is too wonderfully healing to refuse.
He carries me upstairs to one of the ballet studios. By the looks of it, he’s been dancing. I don’t know why, but the thought of him dancing up here by himself makes me sob even harder. He sinks on the floor with me but doesn’t let me go, continuing to hold me in his arms, like a baby, gently wiping away my tears the moment they escape. The longer he cradles me, the harder I cry.
“
Am I making this worse?” he whispers in my hair, his voice thick with worry, “Should I let you go?”
“
No. Please. Don’t let go,” I whimper, “not yet.” My body has finally stopped shaking, but I don't want to let go of this feeling of safety yet, even if it is only for a moment. He holds me tighter, and I find myself melting against him.
“
What did he do to you?” He asks so protectively that it unnerves me. I don't want to risk upsetting him, but one look in his eyes tells me I will never be able to lie to him, ever. There is an odd comfort in that.
“
He was drunk. He didn’t know what he was doing,” I say, automatically defending him.
“
Did he hurt you?”
Every day
.
“
Did he hurt you?” he asks again, this time with more force. I know what he's really asking is if I had been raped.
“
No,” I hiccup. “This time, I hurt him.” And I’ll pay for it. Hardening myself to the inevitable, I start to stand up.
“
Thanks for letting me in.” I hitch up my dress, hoping nothing incriminating on my back is showing. “I guess I'll see you Monday,” I say, turning to leave. His arm is around my waist stopping me in my tracks before I can take a step.
“
Monday?” he asks, his eyebrows are pulled together tight in confusion.
“
In class,” I clarify.
“
Naya, I’m not letting you go back to your dorm tonight. You have to call the police.”
“
No. No police,” I say firmly.
“
Then you're not going back to your dorm,” he says just as firm. “Not where he can find you.”
“
I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Nowhere but back into Seth's abusive arms.
Etash pulls me back to look me dead in the eye.
“
You are
not
going back to those dorms.”
My bottom lip quivers. “I don't have a choice.”
“
Yes, you do. Stay with me.”
My eyes open wide with shock, but he's serious. I look back at the dorms, where I know Seth is waiting for me, and decide for once, not to invite the pain. Staying with Etash tonight will only postpone the inevitable, but perhaps after a night of rest, I'll be strong enough to endure what is yet to come.
Etash
She remains silent on the drive back, fiddling with the cuffs of my jacket I've given her to wear. She looks so small and fragile sitting beside me. She's trying to hide her shivering from me, so I try my best not to mention it.
Helping her up the steep flight of stairs to my apartment, I lead her straight toward the couch. When I release her to get a blanket, I’m shocked to find that the withdrawal isn’t nearly as painful.
Yanking the quilt from my bed, I tuck it around her gently and sit on the edge of the couch beside her. I'm surprised when she slips her hand in mine.
“
Tell me what happened tonight, please,” I beg.
“
Nothing. And that's the problem.” She starts to cry softly again.
“
I don't understand.”
She gives me a small, sad laugh.
“
He's been waiting for me for two years. Two years and still...nothing.” She strokes her thumb absently against my hand again.
“
I'm not sure I'm following you.”
She pulls away from me and hugs her knees instead of me, and her withdrawal stings.
“
I’m broken, Etash. I don't work right anymore.” Tears trickle down her face.
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I grab her wrists and pull her toward me. “You are
not
broken.” I pull her to my chest and whisper in her ear. “Do you hear me? You are not broken.”
Tears cascade down her cheeks as she throws her body into my arms where I hold her, rock her, soothe her, until her fragile body finally quiets in my arms.
“
Can I get you anything?” I ask, brushing some hair from her face, amazed that she’s allowing me to do so without protest.
“
No. I’m fine,” she sighs. “But we probably should talk now.”
I sit up, bringing her up with me. “Naya. I need to know what happened tonight.”
“
I know,” she nods, but doesn’t speak. She tugs at her torn dress again and sniffs.
“
But first I need to get you out of those clothes.” She looks up at me with a confused expression.
“
Sorry, that came out wrong. Let me see if I can find you something of mine to wear.” Her eyes soften and she smiles in agreement.
Rummaging around in my room, I find a gray v-neck and a pair of shorts that have a tie waist and bring them out to her.
“
These will be way too big for you, but you should at least be more comfortable.” She takes the clothes from me and hugs them close to her chest. “The bathroom’s over here.” I lead her in and show her where things are, and a few minutes later I can hear the shower running.
Even though she’s said she doesn’t want anything, I brew some tea. My mother always taught me that in times of stress, you make tea.
I’m just putting down a tray on the coffee table when she steps out of the bathroom. I am absolutely floored at how beautiful she looks, even in my big, baggy clothes. Her hair is dripping wet and flung over one side of her shoulder.
“
You must be freezing. Here, let’s get you back under the blanket,” I offer.
Naya
He deserves an explanation. He deserves the truth, but I'm feeling completely scattered at the moment. It's been a long day, and I'm really tired. But he's waiting, so I explain the 'highlights' of the night: the dress, the dinner, the wine and finally, the parking lot. He listens to every word, only stopping me now and again to ask a clarifying question.
“
What happened once you were parked?” he asks.
“
He started to kiss me, but all I could taste was the booze he'd had.” I can still taste it, even now. “When he gets like that, I go numb…”
“
Gets like what?”
I exhale deeply. “Intimate.”
And there it is.
All laid out on the table. I am completely vulnerable. Etash starts to pull his hand out of mine.
“
Naya, I’m so sorry,” he says quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” His eyes scrunch up in pain, but I hold onto his hand even more tightly.
“
No,” I say clarify. “
This
is okay. In fact, I like it.” I'm surprised by my honesty.
“
I like it too.”
I smile, then sigh. “But usually, I kind of shut down, you know? Like, wait until it’s over.” A shiver goes down my spine. I close my eyes, ashamed.
“
Until what's over?” He grinds his teeth together. “Has he taken advantage of you?”
I surprise us both by laughing. “No. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, but no, it's not like that. I'm--” Oh God, I don't believe I'm about to say this, “I'm still a virgin.”
Etash
She's a virgin?
I was not expecting that.
She grabs her tea and takes a sip.
“
I know it’s hard to believe. But up until recently, Seth had always been really understanding about my decision to wait until marriage.”
I almost spit my tea out.