PULSE: A Stepbrother Romance (19 page)

Sawyer felt
the same way, judging by how he disentangled himself from me a minute later.
Asserting the position between my legs, he grasped his powerful weapon in his
fist. Meeting my gaze, he rubbed the helmet against my slit, teasing my nerve
endings with impending fulfillment.

“Do it,” I
whispered to him.

“Are you
sure?
We can still go back…”

“No we
can’t,” I protested. “Not ever.”

“After we do
this…”

“Just put it
fucking inside me,” I commanded.

“What was
that?” Sawyer tilted his head. The cocky smirk was here again, and he was
determined to make me say it – the way
he
wanted me to.

After a sigh,
I smiled at him widely.

“Sawyer…I
need your thick cock inside me.
Please.
”

“What kind of
man would I be,” he began, pushing his bulbous head into my chasm, “if I turned
down a request like
that
from such a
beautiful woman?”

My eyes went
wide, a heavy groan on my lips. He was
huge
.
I knew he was – I’d only just had him in my mouth – but I was still
woefully unprepared for the intensity of his huge cock filling me.

Sawyer didn’t
try to force it. Going slowly, gently at first, he inched himself into my tight
chasm. If he hadn’t lubricated me up with his tongue, it would have been a
complete no-go from the start.

Soon, he had
pushed several inches into me. It was enough for him to slide his chest down to
mine, and his lips found my neck once more. My hands grasped onto his ass as he
gave me a crippling, lip-quivering thrust.

“God…fucking…
shit
,” I blurted out as he began to rock
his hips against mine. My fingernails dug into his hips as he built up steam,
gradually increasing the speed and severity of our fucking.

My head
rolled to the side, giving him better access to my throat. He nuzzled his face
against the side of my head instead, his hot, shuddering breath rolling over my
ear. He pulled the lobe between his teeth again, flicking it with his tongue,
and I felt the blood rushing to my face.

Sawyer had
completely hilted himself inside me now. His hips were rolling into mine, having
coerced my body to accept all of him within my slick folds. As he picked the
speed up, I could feel each jaw-dropping thrust stretch my wet chasm. The pain
mixed into the pleasure, but the latter built up faster. Soon, the stinging was
eclipsed completely by the sheer carnal fervor, and I held him tighter. My
hands were on his hips again; my fingernails digging into his cheeks. Holding
onto his ass, I coerced him to pound my pussy harder and harder.

It was
everything I could have wanted and more.

My back
arched. Another crushing climax was stirring, deep inside – and it wanted
release.
Needed
it.

“Don’t stop,
Sawyer,” I murmured into his ear as he fucked me. “Please don’t stop...”

He grunted an
answer, powerfully thrusting deep into my body. The ascending wave was on the
rise again; it was ready to bring me to a tremendous new height.

Sawyer’s body
began to tense up as he held my head in his hands, clutching it against his
shoulder. Our rhythm had risen to an incredible speed, and my hands gripping
his hips continuously urged him to go
faster,
harder.

“Fuck…shit…Sawyer!”
I exclaimed in tight gasps.

The wave
crashed, shattering me to pieces.

It wasn’t
just one orgasm this time. I rode out a series of them, easily four or five, as
they surged against my battered pussy. I writhed in pleasure beneath him,
feeling his thrusts lose their uniformity. He was on the edge of climaxing,
too. My inner muscles clenched around his cock, eager to milk him dry.

His body went
rigid as well, and he groaned into my neck. As the last orgasm struck me down,
I felt a burst of his seed inside me, filling my womb with his passion. His
limbs, his core, everything was totally stiff – and we finally collapsed
together in a tangle of limbs and lust, kissing each other deeply and passionately
in the dimming light of the setting sun.

SAWYER

Chapter 22

PENNSYLVANIA

FIVE
YEARS AGO

O
f course it was storming as I climbed
out of the taxi, pulling my hoodie up over my head as I stepped towards the
payphone. I didn’t blame the weather, because it was just too poetic. I mean,
why not take the opportunity to be a complete cliché – soaking everything
in sight during what I had to do?

Quickly
pulling myself under the lackluster covering, I rummaged in my pocket for a
moment. With a handful of jiggling change, I jammed some quarters into the coin
slot.

It was time.

I hesitated,
my fingers hovering along the edge of the phone.
Am I really going to go through with this? It’s now or never. I can
still turn back…

My chest was
heavy as I punched in my father’s cell phone number. Panic seized in my lungs
as I lifted the wet phone from the catch, all too conscious of my own
breathing. The entire world froze as the receiver slid into place against my
ear, already in the middle of the second, maybe third ring. It rang a few more
times, and I felt my stomach knotting up.

Would he even pick up?
I wasn’t
honestly sure.

CLICK
.
“Hello?” The voice was unmistakably
that of my father. He sounded weary, but not necessarily rushed.
Good.

“Is this Chet
Samuels?” I asked, naively attempting to disguise myself with a transparently
deep but recognizable voice. Unfortunately, speaking loudly enough for him to
hear me pretty much ruined any chance of that.

“Who is
–
Sawyer?
Is that
you?
”

CLICK. I
slammed the phone back onto the catch. Fear flooded my veins, filling my lungs.
I breathed uncertainty; I exhaled regret. But it was too late now – I
couldn’t do this to my father without an explanation.

Hesitantly, I
jammed my hand into my pocket, swirling around the change for a few more
quarters.
Shit.
I was one short.

I walked back
and tapped on the window. The taxi driver begrudgingly rolled the window down,
cursing at the immediate exposure to the borderline monsoon.

“I’m gettin’
soaked here, kid! Whaddaya want?” He shouted over the deafening rain.

“I need a
quarter.”

“What?”

I repeated,
shouting it over the rain. “I need a quarter!”

“A
quarter?
Look, pal, I’m a taxi driver!
Not a goddamn bank!”

“I have to make
a phone call! Listen, I’ll tip you! I just need a freaking quarter! It’s
important!”

“Fine! Fuck!
Just gimme a minute here!”

He hastily
zipped the window back up, and I stood with my back to the pouring rain. I was
already soaked to the bone, standing against the overwhelming lash of nature
– as if it, too, disagreed with what I had come here to do.

Just give it up
, it seemed to tell me.

Wouldn’t it easier to warm up by that fireplace?

It only made
me angrier, but that’s exactly what I needed, and I knew it. No more hesitation.
No more doubt.

What I needed
was stone-cold conviction.

“Here! Just
hurry up! I’m not gettin’ paid for you calling your little girlfriend up!” The
driver shouted, handing me a quarter through the window.

I brushed his
comment aside and splashed back to the payphone. Emptying my quarters into the
slot, I lifted the receiver and dialed the number again.

This time,
Dad picked up on the second ring.

“Hello?
Sawyer? Is that you?”

“It’s me,
Dad,” I shouted over the rain. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes! Why are
you shouting?”

“It’s
storming!”

There was a
slight pause, and then a chuckle into the phone, followed by something
inaudible.

“What?” I
yelled out.

“I
said,
‘So it is!’ I didn’t even notice!”
He shouted back.

“Where are
you?” I asked loudly.

“I’m here at
home!”

“Is anyone
else around?”

“No!”

“Mom,
Saffron, where are they?”

“They’re out
by themselves at some gallery! Buying art! You know how the two of them are
about their art! This storm really came out of nowhere, didn’t it?”

Good,
I thought to myself. I didn’t want
either of them around while I called. This was something that just had to be
between him and me – even if he was inevitably going to tell Ellen about
it when they were alone.

That was a
compromise I could live with.

“Son, where
are you? I’ll pick you up right now!”

I thought
about it for a moment. This was my one chance to turn back, to cast off this
entire stupid thing. But I was too committed now.

“That’s not
why I called!” I told him loudly. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m
okay!”

“Good! Now
come back home! Your mother and I are worried sick!”

In the back
of my head, I recognized that he didn’t mention Saffron at all, but I knew what
he was like. What
both
my parents
were like. She could be worried sick about me, and he wouldn’t have thought to
say it. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed.

But I doubted
that was the case. I knew she hated the way that I acted towards her. She had
every right to hate me.

“I can’t!” I
told him, plugging in my other ear with my finger as the rain thrashed about.
Even under this covering, with all the buildings around, there was still enough
force for the weather to antagonize me as I made this phone call.

“Why not?
Son, you don’t have to leave home to be a man! I just want you to be safe!”

“I know, Dad!
But it’s more than that!”

“What?” He
sounded confused.

“You read the
note, right?”

“Yes! Every
word! I read it over and over!”

“There’s
something I didn’t say in the note, something private!”

“What?
Really? Why didn’t you write it in?”

“It’s
something just for you! You can’t tell my stepsister! You can’t tell anyone… Promise
me!” The rain was as harsh as ever, and I was struggling to hear him.

“Son, I
promise! You can tell me anything! I promise she won’t find out!”

I hesitated,
took a deep breath, and made my confession.

“I love her,
Dad! I love Saffron, with everything that I am! I’ve loved her since the day I
met her! It’s too much for me to handle! I’m weak, I’m stupid, and I just
can’t…I can’t…” my words trailed off, and I fought back wetness on my face that
didn’t come from the rain.

“Son! It’s
okay! We can sort this out! I just want you back home! It’s just a phase!
People go through this sometimes! If you just come back – ”

“No, Dad!
You’re not listening!”

“Tell me where
you are! We can figure this out!”

“Dad! You
never
fucking listened to me!”

The line went
quiet. I fought back the urge to ask if he was still there.

“
That’s…that’s not true!” He finally replied.

“Dad, you
didn’t even
tell me
she existed! Not
until after the marriage! The entire time you and Ellen were dating, you were
barely there for me! And that’s okay! You were so busy with your work, with
your relationship; you just didn’t have time for me! I don’t blame you! I’ve
never
blamed you!”

“I…no, you
can’t think that!”

“Think about
it, Dad! You were always tied up! Always too busy for me! Even before they
entered our lives, I barely saw you for years! I had to grow up by myself! And
now I have to do it again, but this time…this time I have to be away from
everyone!”

“Son…!” He
was audibly beside himself. Something croaked into his voice. It sounded like a
dawning realization, descending into regret.

“It’s okay!
I’ve never blamed you!
But I have to do
this now! My sister…I’ve been in love with her for years! And I can’t deal with
it anymore!
That’s
why I’m really
leaving! I have to get her out of my head! I have to forget! She means the
entire fucking world to me, and I can’t bear being around her anymore because
all I want to do is love her! And I can’t…”

He said something,
but I couldn’t hear him over the rain.

“What?”

“I said, ‘I
understand,’” he spoke louder. “I wish there was something I could have done
for you. I wish I’d known…that I’d paid more attention to you…I’ve been a
terrible father!” He was shouting over the rain again now, his voice breaking.
“I’ve let you down!”

“No!” I rebutted
him. He was in danger of losing the point, and I didn’t have much more time to
make sure he really understood. “You raised me right! You gave me everything I
needed! But I need you to understand…and you know now why I couldn’t write that
in the note! She saw it, right?”

“Yes,” my
father confirmed loudly. He sounded like a broken man now. “She read the note.”

“You see? I
wanted to tell you! I wanted to tell
her!
But I’m not strong enough to handle this…so I have to go away! I have to learn
to be stronger! But while I’m gone, I’ll become
better!
You’ll see!”

“Son…you
don’t have to prove anything to me! You know I love you!”

“I know, Dad!
I love you too! But I need this!”

“Is it…is it
really that bad?” He asked loudly.

“Dad, when
you look at Ellen – when you look at
Mom
– what do you feel?”

“I feel…” he
paused, collecting his thoughts. He paused for a long time, and the silence was
all he really had to say. “She means the world to me!”

“That’s how
Saffron makes me feel!” I shouted. “I can’t bear the thought of being apart
from her! When she smiles, nothing else matters! She’s all I could ever want!”
I could feel myself breaking down, but I held myself together. “I have to go
away – I have to learn to live without her. She’s my stepsister! I
can’t
love her. I can never have her!”

To his
credit, my father was finally listening.

 
“How long are you going to be gone?” He
asked loudly.

“I don’t
know. It might be a few years.”

“Where are
you going?”

“Far away.
Across the country. I don’t know yet…”

By now, I’d
already settled on New Orleans…but I knew that if I told him, he’d never stop
looking for me there, even if I moved on. I made a promise to myself –
That’s the last time I lie to my father.
He
had reacted with confusion but not anger, even after I made him understand that
I was in love with my stepsibling. Instead of disgust, or fury, or any of those
emotions…he didn’t claim to completely get it, but he supported me now. The
very least that I could do to repay him is never lie to him again.

“Be safe,
Sawyer! You know how to reach me if you
ever
need anything! I’m just a phone call away – there’s no shame in it! I’ll
never judge you for anything!”

“I believe
you.” I shouted over the torrential rain. “I have to go now. But Dad…I love you.”