Authors: Deborah Bladon
"Oh god, "I whimper. "It's so much."
"Today, in the park." He eases himself slowly between my folds. "The sun caught your hair. So pretty, so beautiful."
I moan loudly as my hips shift to take in the full length of his cock.
"You'll never get enough of my cock." He glides his lips across my cheekbone as the words skirt across my skin. "You looked so perfect today. Not just like a woman I couldn't wait to fuck. It was more."
I clench my hands around his back as he pounds into me. "Nathan, it's so good."
"So good, Jessica." He strokes into me, his cock pushing deeper with each thrust. "I love how you feel. You're always so ready for me. Your body. My body."
I feel my pulse race at the words. I want to belong to him. I want him to want me that way.
"Fuck." The word escapes my lips from the deepest part of me. The part that is inextricably linked to his pleasure.
He ups the tempo, his cock vibrating within me. He's close to pulling another orgasm from my body and I can't wait to rush over the edge.
He lets out an animalistic growl when I clench my sex around him as I near my release. My fingernails dig into his ass, pushing him to his limit, pulling him into me.
"Jessica," he cries out as a vein is his neck pulses. I feel his body contract with desire just as my own orgasm crashes through me.
"S
tay."
It's a single word. One small word isn't supposed to hold so much emotion. He doesn't understand that. He can't understand what he's asking of me.
"You want me to stay?" I pull the dress I was wearing when I got to his apartment back over my head.
"Yes." Another simple word. There's no inflection is his tone. I can't tell if he's being serious.
"Nathan." I reach down to pick up my panties and toss them aside once I realize he ripped them in his haste to get me naked beneath him.
"I can't let you go tonight." There's no mistaking the ripe emotion rippling through the words. "Get back into bed. I need you here."
I yank the dress back over my head and ease back beside him. He pulls me close, his arm circling my waist.
"Jessica." His breath runs hot against my back. "Listen to me."
I try to turn so I'm facing him but he holds steady to my body. I feel his breath catch when I reach back to run my finger along his thigh.
"Listen," he repeats the word. "I can't handle you with anyone else."
"I know." I breathe in a heavy sigh. We're going to circle the subject of my not having sex with anyone else again even though I haven't contemplated the thought in weeks. I even turned Drew down when he asked me out to a movie with him and some friends of his.
"No." His body is trembling. I can feel it reverberate through me. "You don’t understand."
"I do." I try to reassure him. He's probably freaking out over the fact that the man I bought the pretzel from at lunch winked at me. I should confess that he winks at every woman who gives him a dollar tip.
"I feel things." His voice cracks and my breathing stalls. "Things I don't know how to feel."
I can't move. I can only listen and feel his emotions race through me.
"I fuck women." I sense the stubble of his chin on my cheek as he shakes his head slightly. "I used to fuck women and I didn't think twice about them. I couldn't tell you their names or what they looked like anymore."
I don’t respond. I can't say a word. He's being more open right now than he's ever been. I can't derail this.
"I can tell you that the second tooth on the upper left side of your mouth is slightly crooked. Not enough that anyone would notice but it makes your smile more beautiful."
I feel my eyes swell with tears as I listen intently to his words.
"I can tell you that when you laugh you pull your hand to your face to cover your perfect mouth. Every time you laugh. I first noticed it when you were at the restaurant with your roommates. It's adorable."
I nod. I do that. I know I do that. I've always done that.
"I can tell you that you say my name unlike anyone else on the planet and I live for the sound of it. Sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine the word rolling from your lips. I could listen to it forever."
"I don't say it differently."
"Say it now."
"Nathan."
"Like that." He pulls my body into his. "Just like that."
I smile at his reaction.
"I can't stand the thought of another man knowing any of this." His lips push into my shoulder. "Promise me you won't let anyone else see this part of you. Promise me."
I nod my head in silence. I don't know what to say. Something has shifted between us. That small crack that I saw within him has split wide open.
"I
'm going to Boston next weekend. Are you working?" I love how casually he shares information about his life. It's been a week since his tender confession in the bedroom and I've spent every night tucked into his bed and his life.
"Just on Sunday." I sigh. "I have Saturday off. Bryce's girlfriend is coming to town so we're going to hang out."
"That'll be fun?" It's more of a question than a statement and I can't help but laugh.
"It will be." I push back against his chest. "I haven't met her yet, but I hear great things about her whenever I catch Bryce long enough to talk to him."
"You'll have a good time." His hand drops to stroke my thigh. "Are you taking her to your restaurant?"
"No." I shake my head slightly. "Somewhere simple and then to a movie."
"What about Rebecca?"
"Hot date or something." I shrug as I run my hand down his chest. "Or maybe it's just an excuse because she doesn't want to hang out with me."
"How could anyone not want to hang out with this?" He pulls the blanket off of both of us with one swift flick of his wrist.
"You're such a charmer." I push my back into the sheets, pulling my hand over my breasts. "You know just what to say to a girl to make her wet."
"Make her wet." His full lips graze over mine with a heated touch. "You're always wet for me, Jessica."
"Always," I let the word flow between my lips slowly as my fingers part my folds. He's right. I'm always wet for him.
"That very first moment when you walked into the club, I knew you were made just for me." He eases his body slowly on top of mine. I hear the sound of the condom package in his hands. His eyes never break my gaze as he pulls it over his cock.
"I was made for you." I circle my hips on the bed when I feel his cock skirt across my clit.
"I chased after you the next night because you slipped away when I fell asleep." My full lips part slightly as he pushes just the head between my folds.
"You were so sleepy." I kiss the side of his cheek before my breath rushes at the feeling of his full length pushing into me.
"I woke up in a panic." He adjusts his hips so he can claim me with long, leisurely, painfully delicious strokes.
I smile at the tender confession. We've never talked about that first night. The night he drifted into a peaceful sleep when I took forever to calm my nerves in the bathroom.
"I couldn’t work the next day." He reaches to grab both my hands, pinning them to the sheets. "All I could think about was how badly I fucked up. How you'd gotten away from me forever."
I try to push back against him, but his grasp is too tight. "I want to touch you," I whimper.
He only shakes his head slightly in response. "When I saw you the next night, I almost came right there. I couldn’t believe it was you. I wanted to pick you up and throw you over my shoulder on the spot."
"You practically did." I moan when he shifts his hips and pushes deeper still.
"I was going to have you. I wanted you more than I've ever wanted a woman." His lips brush against mine in slow, easy strokes. The tempo matches his cock. He's taking me so slowly tonight. I almost can't bear the measured drip of pleasure.
"Faster, please," I beg, my hips pushing into him.
"I want this to last." He digs his feet into the bed, pushing for more leverage. "I can't fuck you when I'm in Boston. I need this to hold me over."
I close my eyes and drop my head to the side. It's almost unbearable. The way his cock fills me completely. The scent of his skin mixed with my own. The pleasure in knowing that he's taking as much from this as he's giving to me.
"Nathan," I moan under his heated touch. "Just fuck me."
"He rallies on his heels and lets out a deep guttural groan as he offers me my reward for the sweet torturous tease he's inflicted on me. In one deft movement, my hips are off the bed, he's pulling me into him and crashing my body against his.
I scream at the depth of his cock. The pain mixed with unbearable pleasure pushes me over the edge almost instantly. I can't see beyond the feelings. I close my eyes as I course through an intense orgasm.
"Jessica," he calls into my skin as he pulls me into his lap. "Christ." I feel his cock constrict inside me and his body convulses as he clings desperately to me.
"A
re you expecting a call, Jess?" Bryce's voice snaps me out of the daze I've been floating in since Nathan left for Boston this morning.
"No." I smile up at him. "I was just checking my messages."
"Trudy's ready to take off if you're up to it." He points to his girlfriend who is sitting in the living room, thumbing her way through one of Rebecca's fashion magazines.
"Sure. Where do you want to eat?" I can't stifle a yawn as I pull myself up from the chair next to the table.
"Maybe you should be napping instead of hanging out with us?" It's a question that is ripe with suggestion.
"Am I being a third wheel?" I lean in close not wanting Trudy to hear me. "I can stay here while you two go do your own thing."
"Just for dinner?" His face brightens at the idea. "I just haven't seen her in weeks and it would be good to catch up."
"Go." I try to veil a heavy sigh of relief. "Take her and have fun."
"Maybe we can catch a movie tonight?" I feel as though he's throwing me a bone since he knows that Nathan has skipped town for the weekend.
"I'm going to nap. We'll figure it out later or not." I tilt my head to the side. I'd actually give anything to just have a quiet night tucked into my bed with no distractions. I've been working so much lately that it was all catching up to me. I needed a decent night's sleep and I wasn't finding that in Nathan's arms. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
I watch them head out the door before I turn to check my phone again. Still nothing from Nathan. That's two text messages that he's probably not going to see until he's back in New York on Monday morning. I have to give up the notion that he's going to respond to me when he's with his family. He's already made it clear that they're his priority when he's there.
I turn to head down the hallway towards my bedroom when I hear a key in the apartment lock. I don’t want to entertain anyone. Maybe if I can get behind my closed door and into my bed before they notice me, I'll be home free.
"Jess." Rebecca's voice calls to me just as I have my bedroom doorknob in my grasp. "What's going on?"
"Naptime." I smile through gritted teeth. We haven't spoken much more than a few words to each other in more than week. With our conflicting work schedules and my routine of staying at Nathan's every night now, we just didn't connect anymore.
"Make it a siesta. We're going clubbing tonight." It's a statement, not a question and I'm not amused.
"We're not." I stress the words across my lips. "I'm so drained. I'm going to stay in and sleep."
"Bryce and that boring girlfriend of his are going with me. You should too."
"I don’t feel up to it." It's only a half lie. I know Nathan wouldn’t want me hanging out in a club when he's away. He's told me as much more than once.
"Just call Fingers and tell him. You can skip the guilty conscience that way."
"He..." my voice trails as I realize I can't confess that he doesn't respond to me when he's away. She won't get it.
"I'll come for a couple of hours," I acquiesce. If I just go, I won't feel as badly the next time I blow a dinner invitation with her off for a night with Nathan.
"Go to bed." She pushes me through the doorway into my room. "I'll wake you when it's time to get ready."
***
I
know you won't see this but I'm going clubbing with my roommates. Don’t freak out.
I press send and toss my phone into my purse as the taxi pulls away from the curb in front of our apartment.
"Did you send a message to the old man telling him you were out having a life?" Rebecca's comment pulls a giggle out of both Trudy and Bryce.
"I did." I can't shelter a smile as I realize that I've missed hanging out with her. She knows what I need and one night with friends is exactly what I want right now.
"Coincidentally, we're going to start at the club where you met Fingers."
"Fingers?" A wide smile covers Trudy's face. It's the most emotion I've seen her express since she arrived.
"It's a name we call her boyfriend." Rebecca rolls her eyes as she motions in my direction. "Don’t ask."
"Why are we going there?" I whine into her shoulder. "I hate that place."
"You hate that place because his fuck pad is there." She doesn't try and temper her tone at all.
"He gave that up."
"Don’t be so sure, Jess." She cocks a brow. "Remember how I told you men like that never change."
"He's different," I say glumly. Why did I agree to go with them back to that club? I don't want to think about how many women Nathan fucked in that room when he's been so open with me lately. He may not have told me in so many words, but I could feel his resistance slipping away. I know within me that he's falling for me as fast and hard as I'm falling for him.
"You're second guessing him, aren't you?" I'm thankful that she whispers the question into my ear. I don't need Bryce and Trudy witnessing all the self-doubt I'm suddenly feeling wash over me.
"No." I wasn't. I didn't doubt him at all. He told me he gave up the fuck pad and he'd done nothing since that moment to make me doubt that.