Punked by the Pumpkin: A Cozy Mystery (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book 4) (2 page)

“No problem. Why don’t you take a pumpkin muffin with you? They’re still a little warm.”

His eyes lit up, but he wasn’t comfortable taking things for free.

“Come here,” I said walking over to the display case. “I’ve got a defective one I can’t sell.” I grabbed one and set in in front of him.

“What’s wrong with this one?” He looked at me suspiciously.

I took his hand and stuck his finger right down the center of it. “Someone poked it with their finger.” Three bites and it was gone. “Any message for Eli if I see him?”

“Well, there’s just been a lot of strange stuff happening on the edge of town, especially by the cemetery at night. Some damaged stuff and weird sightings. But I’ll see him after school. Thanks!”

“And thank you! And, say, Trevor…” I wanted to see if he might have some time to help me with the Harvest Festival preparations, but he was already out the door and back on his bicycle.

I pressed the crumbs left on the countertop from Trevor’s muffin onto my finger and finally savored the satisfying pumpkin flavor while I tried to make sense of this day. It started out as
Dawn of the Living Dead
and moved to
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
. Then Harvey’s cat attacked him for the first time ever. Maybe it’s in the air and cats can sense the presence of invisible aliens. And now we’ve got weird things happening at the cemetery? This day is starting off like a scary movie, and I was going to be ready for whatever might jump out of the woodwork at me. Another shot of pumpkin java might help.

Chapter Two

Precious little changed over the next several days. The aunts were still giving me the Harpo Marx treatment. At least Harpo had a horn, but Hildie and Essie just smiled and walked away like aloof pussycats. Hmmm…maybe cats are taking over people’s bodies?

If I was going to go it alone at the Coffee Cabana, I would have to start early. It was time to decorate the coffee shop for the festival and the fall holidays. I liked decorating, so it might be a good way to improve my mood too. And, no doubt, my best friend and business neighbor, Jules Ledger, would be excited to give me a hand.

“Lilyyyyy…”

I heard a plaintive holler come from the backroom.

“Lily, help me. I can’t get through the door. I’m going to drop everything in a second.”

Jules was halfway through the back door holding a pumpkin against her thigh and trying to keep a box from falling with her knee and hand. I grabbed the basketball-sized pumpkin and set it inside, and then I took one end of the box and helped her carry it in.

“Let’s go right into the front and set it on the counter. What all do you have here?”

The large box was filled with colorful orange, black, and tan construction paper and streamers, sheaves of harvest wheat, a scarecrow, a dozen real fist-sized pumpkins, and a paper turkey that unfolded into a colorful 3-D display. In her hand Jules also had an old-fashioned corn broom with a bamboo handle.

I took the broom from her and smiled as I set it on the countertop.

“Don’t you dare ask me if I flew in on that, Lily Parker.”

She knew me too well. Her pretty brown eyes looked as menacing as she could make them…so, about as scary as a sugar plum fairy…but I could tell she meant business. Since she was being so helpful, I decided to play nice. “Love your dress, Jules. Is it new?”

Jules was a couple of years younger than me, about 30, and had recently come into a bit of money from an unexpected divorce settlement. She quit her job at the dentist’s office and opened a small community newspaper and print shop in the storefront next door to me. Her office and printing press were in the back, and she turned the front into a little shop selling office and school supplies, art supplies, and party decorations. She loved writing and art and fashion, and her little
Sweet Home Gazette
was becoming quite successful.

“Do you really like it? It was on sale at the Outlet Mall in Sabina, but I changed the hem and took the sleeves off.”

“I love it.” I have no idea where she finds the time to get all artsy and craftsy.

Jules was one of those dark-haired, dark-eyed beauties who would look stunning in a anything. She probably could have been
Miss USA
if she wanted to. I, on the other hand, was more suited to
Miss Complex Carbohydrates
or maybe the
Sweet Potato Pie Queen
. An extra 20 pounds and thin, lifeless dishwater blonde hair were my most prominent features…although people say I have a cute face. Actually, when I smile I am kind of cute. Just sayin’.

We spent most of the afternoon decorating the shop, which was looking pretty good now. The windows and walls were filled with harvest colors and decorations with some Halloween Jack-o-Lanterns and black cats fashioned out of paper. We even came up with some special themed coffee drinks and smoothies that Jules wrote on the tiny pumpkins, which served as both centerpieces and menus on the tables.

The damp fall weather was bringing some good business into the coffee shop, so the time just seemed to fly by.

“Good afternoon, girls.”

Eli walked into the shop, which rarely happens before dinnertime. He was in uniform today, but sometimes he’s the town’s plain-clothes detective, whatever the schedule calls for.  The squad car was parked out front with the blue and red lights flashing. I’m not sure that’s great for business, but it was nice to see him.

“Now all we need is some yellow crime scene tape out front. That should draw in the coffee drinkers.”

Eli gave me a twisted grin and then pushed a button on his key remote to shut off the lights. “Better?”

I nodded and gave him a little hug. He wasn’t big on public displays of affection, especially when he was in uniform.

“So, are you going to let me take you to dinner tonight, Lily? It’s Saturday. I’ll be off in hour and can be ready to go in two.”

I waved my arm like one of those
Price Is Right
models showing off a new refrigerator. “Do you see Essie and Hildie anywhere? They’ve been silent and absent, except for bringing in the baked goods, all week. I’ll have to be here until 8:00.”

“Oh, go and have a nice meal and a little fun, Lily. I’ll run it for you. Moira is running my shop next door, and we close at 5:00 today.”

“Thanks, Jules, but Saturdays can get a little busy in the early evening. A lot of people meet here before their dates or their group ventures to the nightlife in Sabina.”

She gave me that look again. “Are you saying I’m not competent enough to run your shop for a few hours? Didn’t I keep up with you in putting up your decorations today?”

She was too nice to say that she actually had probably done two or three times as much as I did.

“Okay, then. But I’ll try to find you some help.” I was thinking that maybe Carmen Baumgardner from the bike rental shop across the street might be able to help for a while.

“You two sit down for a minute. I’ll bring you two bottles of water.”

“Pumpkin water for me.” Yes, I actually found some pumpkin-flavored bottled water at the warehouse store.

We sat at my “command center” table and unofficial office most convenient to the counter and back room.

“You know…” Eli looked at me with a concerned or maybe puzzled look. “…Dad was acting mighty strange for a couple of days too, and I’ve seen some different behavior from a lot of the seniors around town, I think it has something to do with Bingo Night at the Methodist Church.”

“Well, it was the morning after Bingo that my aunts stopped talking too, and Toe and your dad were whispering that whole next day. What do you think is going on?”

“I wish I knew. The seniors are all keeping some kind of secret, or else they’ve all been hypnotized by some cult master.”

“We need to drop in for Bingo Night and find out what’s up.”

Eli shook his head and smiled. “You know they’ll never let us in. They have a strict policy: No one under 60 in allowed.”

“But, Eli, you are an officer of the law. You can find some kind of excuse for forcing your way in there.”

“Really, Lily? Do you really want me to trample those old folk’s rights just to satisfy our curiosity?”

Heck yeah! That’s exactly what I wanted him to do. “Well, no, of course not. But if somebody is brainwashing them or…”

“Lily, you know I was kidding about the hypnotic mind control thing.”

“I know, Eli, but maybe you were more exaggerating than kidding. Something is going on, and it all started on Bingo Night.”

He inhaled deeply and couldn’t say I was wrong. “I’ll tell you what. We will do some reconnaissance around the bingo hall in the church basement on Tuesday, and see if we can’t maybe find some clues. I’m off early, but we can use the squad car.”

“Let’s just take the unmarked vehicle and try to be incognito. But, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Trevor walked in the front door, no doubt because he saw Eli’s squad car out front, and a light bulb went off in my head.

“Hi, Trev,” I said. “Come here a sec. Jules!” I called her over to the table too. Trevor’s eyes glazed over in a spell as he looked at her face. “Hey, Trevor, can you help Jules out here at the coffee shop from about 5:00 until 8:00? I’m going to be out for a while.”

“Yeah! Sure. I can do that.”

“Is that okay with you, Jules? You can wait on the tables and Trevor can make the drinks. He’s a quick study. He’ll pick it up in no time.”

“Sounds great to me!”

Jules was too sweet to notice that I was using her gorgeousness to lure in a teenage boy, but it worked out perfectly for everybody.

“Officer Davis…” Trevor was still anxious to talk to Eli about whatever he saw going on near town. “…can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course, Trevor. What’s up?”

The boy looked at all of the intrusive eyes and ears nearby (mostly mine). “Police business, sir.”

“Sure. Let’s go up to the front table.”

Rats. You might have figured out that I’m the curious type. Okay, I’m nosy. It runs in the family. I get it from Aunt Essie of course. I went behind the counter to get the glass cleaner and some paper towels.

“I’m just going to get some smudges off the window glass, Jules.”

She grabbed the belt of my pants and held on. “I just did it an hour ago, Lily. There are no smudges, no fingerprints, not bugs…no anything. Now, sit.”

She might as well have pulled a kid out of the middle of a footrace and told her to go and sit quietly in church for an hour.

“But, Jules…” I whined.

“But nothing. You just want to eavesdrop on a private conversation. Eli can tell you all about it over dinner.”

That was true. But that was two hours from now. Maybe a pumpkin fix will help ease the pain. Pumpkin cream tea. Mmmm.…the next best thing to a bubble bath with strawberries and wine with Handel’s
Water Music
playing in the background. That’s the only time I like classical music for some reason.

Just as I was beginning my escape into a sip of pumpkin cream tea heaven, the front door opened and a mindless zombie with soulless eyes walked in. It was Hildie. Essie was sitting at the wheel of their golf cart out front staring straight ahead. It seemed as if everyone in the Coffee Cabana was invisible to Hildie. She walked up to the display case on the counter where the slight movement of her index finger seemed to indicate that she was counting the muffins and cookies. She apparently was cognizant enough of reality to realize that see needed to know what was selling so she would know what to bake for tomorrow. Without a word or a glance, she was back out the door and they drove off, making a U-turn in front of the shop and heading back home.

Eli gave me a look from across the room, seeming to have a better understanding now of the disturbing weirdness that had me wanting to find out more. His dad, Harvey, and Toe had been a little odd for a day or two (and they still seemed a bit distracted), but they were at least talking again. They were, however, still drinking tea and honey.

We decided on a casual dinner so I could get back to close the Cabana. Beer and pizza at Benny J’s sounded pretty good to me after a day of grazing on muffins and gorging on pumpkin beverages. I had forgotten how much worse pumpkin spice tasted when it bubbled up from the depths of my stomach.

“Supreme?” Eli asked me when the waitress came to take our order.

I nodded. A full load of meat and veggies is hard to beat.

“And a pitcher of beer.”

“Light,” I added.

We tried to gaze longingly into each other’s eyes, but after a wearing day that effort ended with both of us breaking into laughter.

“Long day, Lil?”

“They’re all long, but at least I get to start a little later on Saturdays. So, what did Trevor have to tell you?”

“Yeah, my day felt like a long one too for some reason.”

“Well, you have tomorrow off, so you should sleep in. What’s going on with Trevor?”

“Oh, he’s a good kid. Likes to help.”

I guess I was going to have to spell it out for him. “I mean, you know, he seemed like he had something real important to tell you. He mentioned something about things happening at the cemetery to me earlier.”

“Oh, yeah…probably nothing. Your decorations looked nice. Did Jules help you with that?”

All right, buddy. If you aren’t going to tell me anything, I’m not talking either.

“Lily?”

Silence.

“Lily…”

“What…did…Trevor…tell you?”

His poor effort to cover the smirk on his face told me that he’d been trying to get my goat. He leaned in to tell me but then sat up as our pitcher of beer arrived.

“You’re going to have to drink most of this. I have to go back to work for a while to close up. Now spill.”

“We’ve had a few calls on it at the station too. I don’t know if it’s high school pranksters or what, but someone’s been running through the cemetery at night, knocking over headstones and strewing flowers left for the dearly departed all over the place. Some of the houses in the area are experiencing vandalism too, knocking potted plants over and little mischievous things like that.”

“Seriously? How weird is that?”

“Well, we always get some hijinks this time of year, but usually not until the week of Halloween. It’s starting a little early this year. Maxine Fernwald had some Halloween decorations stolen right off her front steps.”

“Like what?“

“Some kind of blow up ghost or goblin, and Gertie Price, next door to Dad, called in and she swore up and down that she saw the Headless Horseman with his horse rising up on its haunches and his Jack-o-Lantern head glowing in the dark out on the edge of her back yard.”