Authors: Aja James
“I want to be inside you,” he whispered, his voice so deep and husky and carnal she broke out in goose bumps in response.
“Yes,” she answered with exalted relief. “
Please
.”
“I-I don’t…” Valerius’ body tightened into a bowstring as he struggled for words. “Show me how,” he finally said, a wave of embarrassment and pain washing over him.
She didn’t hesitate, the hand at the back of his neck gliding down to his shoulders, over his chest and abdomen, roamed possessively over his hip and around to his buttocks, squeezing and kneading gently as if to prepare him, but also to delay a few moments to give him time to change his mind.
Valerius brought his mouth urgently back to Rain’s, plumping her lips with small desperate bites even as he grasped her hand firmly in his and brought it to his groin, cupping her fingers around him. Wordlessly, he urged her on with his mouth, his body.
Please, Goddess, don’t let him fail her.
Still entwined with him, both on their sides facing each other, Rain gripped his thick length as firmly as she could, her fingers only able to meet around his girth halfway, and brought him to her entrance.
She moved him back and forth against her nether lips, wetting him with her excitement, wetting herself with his dew. She did this for endless moments, torturing both of them, until Valerius couldn’t bear it any more.
“Do it,” he gasped into her mouth, “now.”
She shifted her hips, and with a slow undulation, took the plump head of his penis inside.
His body racked with shivers, and he made a low sound of pain. Rain immediately stilled, opening her eyes, and saw that his eyes were tightly shut, his face contorted with anguish.
As if sensing that she looked upon him, he turned his face inward toward the pillows, hiding from her penetrating gaze. Without warning, he pushed his hips into her, gaining another inch.
Even as Rain moaned in pleasure at the fullness of him, her body stretching to accommodate and to take more of him, she was distinctly aware that his shivers had become jerks, as if someone were hurting him so severely he couldn’t control his reaction. She saw the tendons in his neck strain against his skin and his jaw clench repeatedly, saw his Adam’s apple bob once, twice, as he swallowed, as he struggled to breathe.
And she saw one tear leak out of the corner of his eye.
Her heart broke.
Nothing was worth the pain he suffered. Not her Nourishment, not her vitality, and right this moment, not even the Pure Ones’ survival.
She tried to pull back, tried to let go of him, but he held her tightly to him, a steely arm around her back.
“No!” he pleaded, his voice breaking with emotion, “you need this, I want to –“
“Look at me,
airen
,” she ordered softly, but powerfully. She reached up to hold his cheek, her thumb rubbing the moisture there away.
He refused to give her his eyes, pushing again with his hips. But she’d anticipated him and eased back at the same time he pushed, thwarting his efforts.
“Look at me, Valerius,” she urged again, her voice deep with heartache. “Don’t do this to yourself. To us. Talk to me.”
His eyes suddenly opened wide, staring bleakly, heart-wrenchingly into hers. Shining with his barely checked tears, he bared his soul to her scrutiny for one brief moment.
What Rain saw there devastated her.
And then the glimpse was gone. He removed himself from her body, scrambled awkwardly off the bed and shut himself in the bathroom in two long strides.
Rain lay still on the bed, bereft without his warmth, and listened to the sounds from the bathroom. The shower had come on. But there was nothing else. She was torn between going to him and staying put. What if he didn’t want her comfort? What if he rejected her?
It didn’t matter, she thought with conviction. She couldn’t let him be alone.
Not now.
Carefully, she got up from the bed and padded silently to the bathroom, stopping just outside. The bathroom door remained open a crack, and she gingerly pressed it open some more, revealing the tortured warrior inside.
Valerius was hunched over the sink counter, his head bowed in defeat, his body bunched in agony. Suddenly he looked up at his reflection and unleashed a powerful fist against the mirror, shattering it and breaking through to the wall behind, cracking the mortar with his knuckles.
He exploded again and again, hitting the same spot over and over until the entire wall length mirror shattered to pieces, the wall behind it flaking apart, the exposed bricks stained with his blood.
He would have continued with the destruction and self-abuse had Rain not rushed forward to wrap her arms around his waist, holding his back to her front. But he was heedless of his surroundings, too caught up in his own nightmares, and at the feel of someone behind him, their skin touching his skin, Valerius went berserk. He twisted his back to buck her off and swiped an arm under hers to break her hold on him.
The force of the action sent her flying backwards against the wall and she hit it with a loud thud and a startled gasp of pain.
Valerius whirled immediately around at Rain’s sound of distress. The sight of her crumpled naked body curled against the wall broke through the red haze of pain that blinded his vision.
“No!” he choked out, kneeling before her on the floor, bringing her body into his with wildly shaking hands. “No no no no no no,” he chanted
despondently, cradling her close and rocking back and forth.
She stirred in his embrace and put a slim hand on his cheek. “Don’t worry so, my warrior,” she whispered weakly against his chest. “I’m all right, I’ll be all right. Come back to bed with me. Talk to me.”
Valerius obeyed after checking her thoroughly for the extent of damage. Finding no broken bones or twisted ligaments, he turned off the water and carried her to their bed. But he hesitated to join her, and she saw in his face self-hatred and despair.
There would be no more of that, Rain determined once and for all. She would not let him fall back into the abyss. She opened her arms to him and waited.
For long moments, he stood there, frozen with fear and self-doubt.
And she waited.
With a shuddering sigh, he joined her in bed and pulled her tightly against him, hugging her like a frightened child clutching his teddy bear on a dark, stormy night.
“Talk to me,” she repeated on a whisper.
An eternity passed by, but he remained silent.
Still she waited, stroking softly the arms that wrapped around her protectively, reverently, regretfully.
And finally, she heard his voice, raw and broken beside her ear. She could even hear the child within, crying, hurting, but trying desperately to stay strong.
Rain wept silently for that child and for the incredible, vulnerable, beautiful warrior he’d become despite the tragedies of his past. Against all odds, he’d conquered his demons. For Valerius Marcus Ambrosius was first and foremost a
good
man.
He was the very best male she knew.
Valerius did not want to stay one more day than necessary.
For thirty days he’d loitered around, presumably doing surveillance and making sure the Sanctuary was secure. But really he was waiting.
Waiting for Rain to take her Nourishment from her chosen Consort. Waiting for her to take another male’s body into hers over and over and over again.
No matter where he was in the Sanctuary, Valerius could smell the scent of her passion. His body trembled in sympathy whenever hers found release. He knew it was all in his sick, twisted imagination. In reality, he could hear nothing coming from her Enclosure. The walls were too thick and too well sealed for scents to escape. And yet he somehow felt it all, as if she were taking her Nourishment at
his
vein, fulfilling her needs with
his
body. He was painfully swollen most of the time, reduced to nothing but a walking erection. So yeah, he’d really like to leave as soon as possible.
As in today. As in
now
.
But his preference was overruled when the child Queen lit up like fireworks at the invitation from the Healer to stay for the beginning of the Mid-Autumn or Moon Festival where she would get to sample countless varieties of moon cakes and view the dazzling display of multi-colored floating sky lanterns at the night market.
Just what he needed, Valerius thought with a scowl, protecting three females in throngs of strangers amidst a loud and chaotic celebration and through meandering streets and alleys. What’s more, the festival occurred on the night of the harvest moon, a full moon closest to the autumnal equinox – one of vampires’ favorite hunting periods.
Fantastic.
Sophia was out of bed before dawn that morning, too excited with anticipation to sleep. Ayelet rose as well to help the little girl dress in traditional Chinese silk robes, a red and gold vest with a matching skirt, elaborately decorated with flower and phoenix embroidery.
Wan’er also came to help the visitors start their day, bringing with her a large tray of food and
longjing
tea, a delicacy of the area. She laughed with pleasure when she saw the child queen’s exuberance and adorable costume, bringing Sophia to stand between her knees as she sat in front of the antique Chinese vanity to comb through Sophia’s long chestnut hair and proceeded to braid it into coils on each side of her head.
While the females chatted cheerfully and readied themselves for the day, Valerius partook of the sumptuous breakfast, but was too concentrated on studying maps of city streets and terrain to savor the taste.
And then the Healer, Rain, entered after a soft knock at their chamber door. Valerius abruptly choked on his red bean bun and hastily swallowed it down with gulps of tea.
The Healer looked radiant in her light blue dress, a simple style somewhere between traditional and modern, but every inch of feminine appeal. The conclusion of the Phoenix Cycle had left her with glowing milky skin, youthful pink-tinged cheeks, luminous large phoenix-tail eyes that tilted alluringly at the corners, and plump red lips.
Valerius took the transformation in with a wildly thumping heart. He had never seen anything more beautiful. And then he noticed the last detail:
She’d shaven all of her hair.
He could see the shadow of black roots that were already starting to grow. Without the curtain of hair shielding her face, her ethereal beauty was all the more stunning.
She glanced in his direction and caught him staring like a lummox. Self-consciously, she smoothed a hand over her shaven head and looked down with a blush.
It occurred to Valerius that she mistook his scrutiny for something other than utter fascination and enthrallment. Instead of correcting her misconception, he remained silent, letting her think what she would.
Rain looked up at the warrior again and saw that his gaze had become stoic once more, as if he were looking through her rather than at her. As if he didn’t wish to see her at all. Squaring her shoulders, she decided to approach him despite his impassive expression, a veritable mask of unwelcome.
“Did you have a good night’s rest, Protector?” she greeted when she stood not two feet before him.
He appeared startled that she’d spoken to him. Wasn’t he used to being greeted to in the morning?
“Aye,” he answered in that deep, husky voice.
Rain involuntarily shivered at the sound. She’d just spent thirty days and nights in feeding and orgy with a robust Pure-male. Normally, she wouldn’t feel even a hint of attraction to another male until closer to the time of the next Phoenix Cycle.
But this time was different. Over the course of the thirty days, she’d taken the Nourishment of one male but dreamed of another. When she closed her eyes, all she saw was
his
face in her mind,
his
naked body next to hers, inside of hers, filling hers. She’d tried and tried to concentrate on the Consort she’d chosen, tried to give that honorable male all her attention, affection and devotion during the time they spent together, but deep down she wished he were someone else.
She wanted Valerius. Only Valerius.
But that wasn’t likely to happen, Rain chided herself for having false hopes. The Protector made it clear from the moment they’d met that he was off limits. He didn’t want to speak to her, have contact with her, be in her presence, much less sign up as her Consort.
Rain had never met anyone she repelled so strongly. People usually gravitated towards her. She gave them a sense of comfort and calm. But apparently not this warrior. His body language practically shouted that he felt her nearness disturbing.
Invading.
“Are there any sights you’d like to see today?” Rain doggedly continued, trying to draw the reticent warrior into conversation.
His blank stare was response enough. Clearly, he would rather they’d already been on their way back to the Shield this morning, rather than preparing to attend the Mid-Autumn Festival.
“No?” she responded, as if he’d spoken, “well, we’ll take you around a few places nevertheless so you get a feel for my homeland. It’s especially beautiful this time of year – autumn and spring are my favorite seasons.”
Valerius merely continued to stare. He knew he was being unforgivably rude, but he couldn’t find his tongue if his life depended upon it.
She was smiling at him.
Invitingly.
He felt his cock beginning to swell, and he struggled for mastery over his own body, turning half away from the Healer to hide the evidence of his inexplicable arousal. Self-disgust blackened his countenance and his stare grew into a scowl of discomfort.
Rain blinked rapidly at the sudden ominous change in his expression and awkwardly looked away, turning to join Wan’er, Ayelet and Sophia for breakfast.
“I am eager to learn of your homeland,” Valerius said through a clenched jaw, not wanting the delicate Healer to think he was some uncivilized cretin.
She turned her head back briefly like a graceful swan. For a moment, she looked confused and uncertain, as if she’d expected him to say something off-putting but heard the opposite.
And then she smiled.
A beaming, radiant, glowing smile. She dipped her head slightly in acknowledgement, hesitated briefly, then stepped closer so that the fabric of her dress skimmed fleetingly against his thigh.
Valerius sucked his breath in sharply, electrified by the slight graze.
Only when he regulated his lungs once more did he notice that she was holding something out to him in her small pale hand.
“I made this for you,” she said shyly, in a low voice only he could hear.
It was what appeared to be a silk handkerchief. But it wasn’t quite silk, Valerius realized as he solemnly received the gift she placed gently in his hand, careful not to touch his skin. It was made of something finer, more luminescent, more delicate.
And it changed with the light, like the scrolls on the walls of the corridors. It depicted a traditional Chinese scene, with a glistening lake and Chinese elms. What drew his gaze in the center of the scene was a lone black rock in the middle of the lake, seeming both opaque and translucent, like obsidian under different light. Somehow, it displayed both characteristics in the handkerchief, for the drizzling summer rain that descended upon the landscape like fine needles illuminated the rock’s shining core despite the seemingly impenetrable exterior.
A tingling warmth spread within Valerius’ chest as he continued to gaze upon the exquisite handkerchief. He could almost feel the healing rain dance upon his own body, cleansing him, washing away his past, his pain, polishing away the filth and shame.
“It’s old-fashioned, I know,” Rain spoke hesitantly, feeling awkward. “No one uses handkerchiefs any more, but I thought…” she abruptly stopped herself. “Well. It’s a small reminder of your time here in China.”
And a tiny reminder of me
, she added silently.
Speechless at her generosity, Valerius could only nod his gratitude. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he turned away until she was faced with his broad back.
Except for his mother and sister, it was the first gift a female had ever given him.
Bluntly dismissed by the warrior once more, Rain stepped back with concern creasing her brow. Had she offended him somehow? His body was radiating strong emotional energy, but she could not discern what it was. Shaking her head slightly, as if to dispel the confusion, she squared her shoulders and joined the other females on the bed, breaking her fast and engaging in lively conversation.
Once he got hold of himself, Valerius took a seat on the far side of the chamber and proceeded to sharpen his scythe and dagger. Just to be safe, he secured a
chakram
Aella lent him for the trip to his waist as backup. Every so often, he would touch the area where his heart resided to make sure that the handkerchief was safe inside the inner chest pocket of his shirt.
Once in a while female laughter drifted to his ears, and he could have sworn they were talking about him at times, for they would turn to him in unison during parts of the chatter and immediately break into giggles. What they found so amusing about his person, Valerius couldn’t begin to guess, but he didn’t mind being the butt of their jokes, if that was what he was, because he got to see Rain’s laughter light up the entire room.
Not once, however, did he think to join them. He did not have the diplomatic charm of Seth, nor the easy affability of Tristan. He was not cheerfully outgoing like Aella, and he had not the confident gravitas of Alexandros. He was uncomfortable around people and hated to be touched.
Verily, he would not have any friends to call his own if not for the position he was recruited to. In the beginning it was a duty – his chosen duty to protect the weak. The Elite and Circlet members were his comrades who shared the same purpose and belief. But gradually they became more. They became friends. And then family. Valerius would not hesitate to give his life for any one of them.
Most of all for their newest member – the Healer.
Rain.
By the time they headed above ground, it was only an hour after dawn. They took a lift to rise to the grassy grounds of one of the islands in the middle of West Lake. The sun was still low in the sky, hiding behind a blanket of clouds, slowly stretching its warm rays outward in tendrils of orange and pink. A slight mist covered the landscape like a dewy curtain of dragon’s smoke. The beauty around him was so unreal, Valerius could only gape in wonderment and awe.
Two little girls no more than twelve with braided coils on either side of their heads skipped forth to take them to the awaiting boats. One girl shyly ventured up to Valerius and held out a small hand to him in invitation.
Wordlessly, he took it and was rewarded with a gamine smile, exposing a missing front tooth where a new one was just growing in.
She tugged him to the boat and gestured for him to sit at the very back, while Ayelet, Rain, Wan’er and Sophia sat on two padded benches in the middle.
“They are distributing our weight,” Rain explained to him. “You likely weigh more than those two girls combined, but if we sit closer to the front of the boat, we should be relatively balanced.”
The two girls stood at the front of the boat with long paddles twice their height. They smoothly pushed the pretty, canopied boat off shore and began to stroke the paddles leisurely in sync, harnessing the strength of the breeze that pushed them toward the mainland.
Valerius felt embarrassed that he was sitting idly on his ass while two little girls did all the hard work. But he took note of their experienced technique and realized he’d probably be more embarrassed if he tried a hand at paddling. Maybe even sink them all in the middle of the lake.
After a few moments of silent enjoyment, each passenger absorbing the graceful sunrise over a glistening West Lake, the girls began to sing with a crystal resonance that nightingales would envy.
“They like you,” Rain whispered to Valerius with a warm twinkle in her eye. She sat closest to him toward the back, her front facing his, her back against Ayelet’s, who was facing the front of the boat.
Startled, Valerius only blinked at her without comprehension.
Rain smiled her Mona Lisa smile and nodded to their ferry-girls, “They want to impress you with their lilting song because they’ve never seen such a handsome man as you.”
Valerius’ face went up in flames, and he struggled for composure though he knew she was only teasing him. People – females – simply didn’t tease him. He tried to respond with practiced nonchalance, but he feared he sounded just plain stupid.
“Why do you say that?” he asked, then grimaced. He sounded like he was fishing for compliments.
The Healer chuckled behind her hand. She quoted to him, “ ‘Oh my heart, my heart be still, is that my lover o’er yon green hill? Ah, my heart, my heart does sing, what joyous occasion this day brings. For ne’er have I beheld such a fine bodied lad, and ne’er have I seen such beauty he has – oh my heart, my heart be still, let it be my lover o’er yon green hill.’ “
Valerius could no longer meet the Healer’s twinkling eyes by the time she’d finished translating the song. He turned away to view the scenery around the lake, but he knew that her gaze was still riveted upon him, for he felt the weight of its languorous heat in the cool autumn morning.
They spent the better part of the morning strolling around the lake, Wan’er acting as tour guide and introducing them to the inhabitants of the Sanctuary, the history behind the various landmarks and architecture, and the myths about the West Lake itself. In one such legend, the lake was said to be a reincarnation of a famous Chinese beauty from ancient times. Gazing surreptitiously at Rain, Valerius thought the story might have been about her, for no other beauty could match the enchantment and serenity of the West Lake.