When he lifted my chin so we could see eye to eye, he was giving me what could only be described as an indulgent smile.
For some reason, it rubbed me wrong. I knew he was trying to make me feel better. The problem was I did feel bad and I had no reason to. I felt bad because I didn’t want to cause any problems between him and his mom and I felt bad because she was so hostile toward me. But, hell. That wasn’t the only problem. I hated that he felt like he was indulging me when he supported me.
Slipping off his lap, I stood up and went over to grab my phone. I pulled up the image my mother had sent me and took it back to him, sitting down next to him on the couch. “You know that old saying about brides? Something old, something new…?”
“Ah, yes. Something borrowed, something blue.”
“Mama has my something blue.” I showed it to him and described where she’d come up with the idea. “I already talked to the designer. She’s going to adjust the hem on the dress, tuck it in a bit. She said she can take care of this too.”
Edward turned the phone over to me. “It’s a lovely idea.”
I nodded and then turned to him, determined to say what I needed to do. “I want to go back home for a few days, maybe a week. I miss my family.”
“Gabriella.” His eyes softened as he stroked the back of his hand down my cheek. “Is this why you’ve been so down tonight?”
“Yeah, mostly.” I shrugged, my eyes still on the little blue heart. “I saw this family playing at Central Park. It just made me think of home.”
“I thought this was your home.”
I looked up at him, then reached to touch his cheek. “New York
is
home. But there will always be a part of me that thinks of Tennessee when I think of home. It’s where I grew up, where my family is.”
“I think I can understand that.” He nodded, leaning forward to kiss me, his lips warm and soft.
“Can you come with me?” I asked against his lips. “I want my family to meet you before the wedding.”
He pulled back and reached up, brushing my hair from my face. “I’d love to meet them, but I can’t take a week off now, not when we’re taking off three weeks for our honeymoon in October.” Eyes narrowing thoughtfully, he slowly added, “I think I could come for a few days at the end of the week, if I move some things around. Would that work? You could go on down and I’ll join you.”
“Yes.” I smiled, some of the weight inside me lifting away. I went to hug him, but the look on his face stopped me.
“Would you consider taking one of my brothers with you? I don’t like the idea of you traveling all that way alone.”
All that way
? I almost laughed. I’d driven up here—all that way—in a car that had practically fallen apart almost as soon as I crossed the state line. I’d ended up having to sell it to a junkyard because I couldn’t afford to fix it or garage it. But I’d made it up here just fine, just as I’d managed to put myself through college just fine. I thought I could manage to buy a plane ticket and fly home, get a rental and drive to my parents’ house just fine, too.
But he looked so thoughtful, so sweet and earnest. And he was just looking out for me, like a good fiancé should.
“Sure. I think Cody would love my family.”
***
It wasn’t until I was pulling up in the driveway that it hit me just how far apart my world was from Edward’s…and Cody’s.
The big, old farmhouse had belonged to my grandparents until they’d sold it to my parents after my grandfather’s stroke. He hadn’t been able to take care of it anymore, or even walk up and down the stairs from the porch, so they’d decided it was time to find some place smaller.
A year after that, the second stroke had killed him.
Grandma was gone a year later.
I still missed them. Grandpa had been gone seventeen years now, Grandma sixteen. My younger brother and I barely remembered them. My youngest sister didn’t at all. She’d been born only a month before Grandma’s heart attack.
I had a thousand happy memories tied up in the house that towered over us, but the house needed a fresh coat of paint, new windows…new everything. The car in the driveway had seen better years, but it was paid for and that was all my mother cared about.
As I looked over at Cody to say something, the front door opened.
My sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews all came spilling out. Apparently everyone had come home to see me. Whatever I’d planned to say, there was no time for it now.
Nerves seized me, but I forced myself to climb out of the car anyway.
Jennifer was the youngest and looked the most like me with red hair and brown eyes. The others all favored Dad in coloring. Jennifer didn’t, however, act like me. She had absolutely no qualms about staring at Cody with interest evident in her eyes.
“Hello,” she said, smiling and displaying the dimple in her cheek.
Cody held out his hand. “Hi there.”
“Jennifer,” I said, catching her attention. “You flirt, you’re wasting your time. Cody’s gay.”
She rolled her eyes and Cody clapped a hand over his heart, shooting me a look. “Being gay doesn’t mean I don’t want a pretty girl flirting with me.”
“She’ll take any positive response as a sign to keep going,” I warned him.
That came from my mother, a woman who looked remarkably like me and Jennifer. If I looked as beautiful as she did at her age, I’d be very happy. Moving around the car, I rushed to hug her, tears burning my eyes.
“Mama.”
Her arms came around me and I tucked my face into her neck, feeling everything else melting away for those few seconds. The worry about the wedding, the guilt and anxiety about Flynn, even my lingering reservations about Edward.
“I’ve missed you, Gabby,” she said, stroking a hand down my hair.
I sniffed, afraid to say anything for fear of what she’d hear in my voice. Moms, they always knew.
A loud, boom of a voice caught my attention and I pulled back, dashing away the tears and grinning sheepishly at her. “I’m going to turn into a water faucet.”
Then I looked over to see who’d called my name.
A broad smile splitting his face, a tall, lean man was striding my way, with a leggy blonde moving at his side. The blonde looked vaguely familiar. She should have looked out of place, with her pretty, pale green sundress and shoes that looked as expensive as some of the ones Edward had taken to buying for me.
But she didn’t cringe away from the farm. She held the hand of the man coming my way.
It was the grin. The grin on his face that made my mouth fall open.
“Shit.” The word slipped out of me and my mother lightly swatted me on the side of the head.
“Sorry, Mama,” I said automatically, still staring at the man. “Jackson? Is that you?”
His response was to grab me around the waist and swing me around. My feet left the ground and I hugged him around the neck as he squeezed me, swinging me around in a quick circle.
“Oh, my goodness!” The word came out of me in a delighted, somewhat breathless gasp. “What happened to you?”
When I’d last come home three years ago, he’d still been a teenager, a long, almost painfully skinny stick. Just as tall as he was now, but all arms, legs, knees and elbows. Now…he set me down on my feet and I blinked up at him. My baby brother had up and turned into a seriously good-looking twenty year-old.
“Gabby.” He grinned at me, obviously delighted with the reaction he’d caused. Then he reached out a hand to the blonde at his side. She slid her hand into his and moved in closer. “Do you remember Amber LaRocque?”
A face danced into mind. Skinny—all arms and legs—watching Jackson with love struck eyes. Only to look away anytime he said anything. She’d been terribly shy. Sweet, but shy.
“Hi.” I went to offer my hand, only to notice her left one. And the ring.
“You…” I stopped, then cleared my throat and tried again. “Are you two…um…what I mean is…”
“Last night.” Jackson pulled her in close and hugged her.
Amber closed her eyes, blushing, but the smile on her face was almost dazed with pleasure and when she lifted her lids, her gaze went straight to my baby brother.
The two of them stared at each other as though nothing else in the world existed.
It left me feeling oddly…hollow.
Did Edward look at me like that?
Did
I
look at
Edward
like that?
I pushed aside the thought as I turned to greet my three older siblings and their families. I had eight nieces and nephews to spend quality aunt time with.
***
“Now why did that beautiful brother of yours have to be straight?”
Cody flung himself down into the plastic Adirondack chair next to mine and stared up at the sky. A sigh of satisfaction escaped his lips as he lifted a bottle of beer to his lips, tipping his head back after he’d taken a drink. It was the cheap beer my dad had been buying from Wal-Mart for years, but Cody hadn’t batted an eyelash when Frank Baine had offered him one.
Impulsively, I reached over and caught his hand, squeezing it. “I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you, for everything.”
“Hey, I’m happy to be here. I haven’t had a vacation in too long.” He squeezed my fingers and let go, sliding down farther into the seat and closing his eyes.
Looking around the backyard with its bare spots and the vegetable garden that filled nearly a third of the space, I laughed. “I wouldn’t call this a vacation, Cody.”
“Hey, what’s not to enjoy? Your mom is a seriously excellent cook.” He opened one eye, a grin canting up one corner of his lips. “You know I’ve never had homemade fried chicken?”
I frowned at him.
He popped open the other eye and sat up, staring at me. “You think that’s something Claire Bouvier would let be served in her house?” He snorted. “And mashed potatoes with gravy? Shit—” Immediately, his eyes went to the house and he winced. He’d seen Jackson’s hand get rapped with my mother’s wooden spoon for letting that particular word slip.
“Relax,” I said wryly. “You’re safe from the spoon. You’re a guest.”
His smile widened. “She acts like a…mom.” Then he sighed. “I love my mom, Gabs. Really. But she doesn’t…love unconditionally. You should have seen the look on her face when I finally worked up the nerve to tell her I was gay. When I told her I was going to do modeling instead of going to school to be a lawyer or a doctor. She got this look…”
He stared off into the horizon, letting the words trail off.
“I’ve probably seen that look.” I turned my bottle of beer round and round in my hands. “She doesn’t much like me.”
“You’re lucky.” He looked back at the house. “Have you ever questioned the fact that your parents loved you?”
I blinked at the softly voiced question, but I didn’t have to even consider my answer. It had never been a question. “No. I haven’t.”
Before Cody or I could take that solemn discussion any deeper, the back door opened. Jackson and Amber came out, hands linked. I’d almost think they’d been glued together, except they’d parted hands to eat and help wash the dishes.
“We were thinking about going into town, grabbing a drink at Bo’s.” Jackson hunkered down in front of us, his eyes bouncing from me to Cody before coming back to rest on my face. “What do you think?”
I looked over at Cody. He shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
***
The week went by in a rush.
Cody, Amber, Jackson and I hit Bo’s two other nights. We had fires out in the pit out back the other nights with the rest of the family and one night, we grilled hot dogs and had those along with chips, coleslaw and later, we had s’mores. And Cody was in heaven at every meal. Especially when he’d gotten his first taste of s’mores.
“I think I wanna marry your mama,” he told me as he devoured his fifth.
My parents had already retreated inside after telling Jackson and me that we were in charge of making sure the fire was out and all the food was put up.
I snorted and grinned at him. He looked a little tipsy. I’d only had two wine coolers before calling it quits. I’d decided after the fiasco with Flynn that I had to cut back on how much I drank. “I think she’s not exactly your type. Besides, she’s a little married, and a little old for you.”
“Yeah.” He licked chocolate from his fingers and sighed. “But damn, she can cook.” Then he frowned up at the house. “Edward’s plane lands at noon. We got two more days, then back. Back to New York. Back to life.”
“Back to reality.”
He stared at me for a minute, then started to laugh. A few seconds later, he started to sing, his voice surprisingly mellow.
“Maybe you should tell your mom that you’ll make her day and give up modeling,” I suggested, resting my chin on my fist. “You’re going to go into music instead.”
“Oh, she’d die.” He rolled his eyes. “Even more people might know she gave birth to a flaming homosexual.”
Jackson, who’d been preoccupied with Amber’s hair, looked up at that.
Cody waved a hand. “Ignore me. I’m having mommy issues.”
Jackson glanced my way.