Purgatorium (42 page)

I run out of the kitchen, through the dining room to the stairs, and down the steps to the front door. Throwing it open, I sprint across the street toward the subway entrance. I keep running, my heart beating faster and faster. I race down the subway stairs, jumping over the turnstile, and then down the last set of stairs to the platform. As I near the train, I hear the conductor’s voice.

“Stand clear of the closing doors, please.” Just then, I hear music. Still breathing heavily, I look down at my
watch
.

It reads: 42:02.

I sprint as fast as I can and leap through the closing doors into the car.

“I think an apology is in order.” I hear Uriel’s voice behind me. I turn and see him standing there, his eyebrows raised, twisting his ring on his finger.

I look at him, trying to say sorry. I move my mouth but no sound comes out. The music begins making its way towards my eardrums.

“Great! Now that we got that out of the way, I have a question that has been bugging me for a few
minutes
now,” says Uriel, smiling. He takes a step closer to me, bringing his mouth near to my left ear, and whispers, “Do you think reapers fornicate?”

I pull my head away from Uriel, disgusted again. He laughs and slaps his hand on his knee. “I mean, how else do they reproduce?”

I close my eyes tightly and try to ignore Uriel. I focus on the music, letting it take me away. I open my eyes again. Suddenly, everything around me—Uriel, the seats, the subway car—rips away like puzzle pieces.

I look down and see the tuxedo I am wearing is clean, new, a slightly different shade, and has a vest. My shirt is clean and pressed and my bowtie is tied perfectly. I have a boutonniere on my lapel. Everything goes dark.

THE ROOFTOP

The bank tower clock ticks down. Only ten
minutes
until midnight and the dawn of a new year.

I look over and see that I am on the rooftop of my apartment building. I turn around and see the view. The city is lit up and alive. I am in my memory, I think. I appear to be wearing a cheaper looking tux than my usual expensive one.

I feel nauseous. I lean out over the ledge of a cold, windswept rooftop—the same as all the others I’ve been on recently—and empty my stomach into the alley below. I glance up at the clock, which shows nine minutes until midnight.

It’s New Year’s Eve, I think. I hear the elevator arriving at the rooftop. I turn to look. As the door opens, a random guy wearing a tux as well steps out, buttoning his jacket. He looks just like Uriel. I try to turn but I can’t feel my body move any longer. Here it goes again, I think. My thoughts are getting scrambled as memories begin to flood in to this moment in time.

I yell out, “Jake! I am over here!” He yells back, “1994 is going to be the year of a new chapter in your life, my friend!”

“You’re late!” I say, weakly waving my hand, a motion I regret as my stomach feels queasy again.

“Where are you?” Jake shouts. “I can barely see you.”

“Over here!” I shout more forcefully. Jake walks toward the sound of my voice and then stops cold in his tracks. A smug look washes over his face.

“Hey,” he snickers. “You party animal. What a night, eh? What a great way to end the old year?”

I groan. “Yeah, real great.”

“You okay?” Jake asks.

“I’ll be fine,” I reply, slightly bent over. “Where is everyone?”

Jake looks toward the elevator. “They’re all down in the lobby,” he says, coming closer, nudging me in the ribs. “And they will be up in five.”

I look startled. “In five?” I say, checking my
watch
. “We are running out of time. Get the switch!”

Jake follows me around to the back of the elevator. Here, the wind blows directly into our faces. I walk up to the wall behind the elevator shaft. There is a small black switch on it. I flip it up. Nothing happens.

“That’s not good,” Jake says. We both hear the sound of the elevator arriving at the rooftop. We walk around to the front of the elevator as the door opens. April, slender and pretty, in a white, sleeveless mermaid-shaped dress—one of the bridesmaids—is inside.

“Check the back!” I shout to Jake, ignoring
April
.

“I’ve never seen an angel in an elevator before,” says Jake as he walks past April, who has wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stay warm.

She frowns. “In your dreams,” she hisses, as she walks out onto the rooftop. The elevator doors close and it starts to move down the shaft again. April looks at me, and she appears to be flustered. “Why is it so dark out here?” she asks.

“Where is she?” I demand.

“I can barely see you!” says
April
, squinting her eyes. “I tried to stall her by kicking her out.”

“But?”

“But she’s not buying it.”

Jake walks out of the elevator and around to the back, flicking the switch up and down. Again, nothing happens. “It must have shorted or something,” Jake says.

“How is the snow machine coming along?” I ask, frantically. “Anything coming out of it?”

“Dead too,” Jake replies. “I don’t know, buddy. You shouldn’t have done this last minute.”

I yell to him, “Let’s not talk about this right now! Get the record player on!”

Jake turns on the record player. Music begins to play. I hear the elevator arriving again. “
April
!” I shout. “Get over here now!” As
April
starts towards me, the record stops playing.

“Should I keep walking?”
April
shouts, worried she’s doing the wrong thing.

“No, my dear!” Jake says sarcastically. “Stay there and look like a pretty idiot!”
April
scowls at him. “Yes! Keep walking!” Jake says.

April
continues slowly along the rooftop with a look of apprehension. “Okay.”

I look at the record player and see that the record is stuck. I try to fix it but it won’t budge. “The record is jammed!”

“I’ve got the music!” shouts Jake.

“How?” I reply, surprised and incredulous.

Jake goes to his bag and takes out a boombox. “Problem solved,” he says. He presses the play button, holding it out, and it begins to play “Auld Lang Syne.” I look at him confused.

“I was saving the song for the end,” he says to me. “You know, because it would be midnight and all. It’s the only thing I had time to bring.”

“Where’s the ring, then?” I yell.

“Oops!” Jake says. “About that…”

“Don’t you dare, Jake,” I plead. “Please!”

“I think maybe it’s somewhere in your floorboards.”

I stagger, still feeling ill, disgusted at myself for my slovenly behavior, for forgetting to make proper arrangements for my wedding, and for having unreliable friends.

“Hey, it’s not my fault your floors have cracks in them,” says Jake.

Before I can reply, the elevator doors open.

“Is that Madi?” I shout. “Baby, follow the music.”

Just then, I hear the familiar chords of “Auld Lang Syne,” coming out of Jake’s boombox.

April
rolls her eyes. “This is so sad.”

“You’re just lucky you’re hot,” says Jake, whispering impatiently.

“Shut up, you two!” I say quietly but insistently. Then, seeing Madi, I am dumbstruck, overwhelmed by her beauty. Madi, four months pregnant, steps out onto the roof wearing a white dress and holding a bouquet. Her smile is a fusion of nerves and excitement.

“Where’s the priest?” I whisper to April.

“He’s behind me,” Madi whispers back, stepping aside so I can see the old, white-clad priest.

“Where have you been? I told you to be here at 11:00,” I say to the priest.

He yells out, “New York traffic on New Year’s Eve, that is where I have been!”

“Come this way. Run!”

The priest, seeing the groom’s urgency, hurries past Madi, but trips on the gravel and falls into a heap.

“What is happening?” Madi asks anxiously, looking around the rooftop, trying to see where everyone is.

The breeze gusts into a wind, drowning Jake’s boombox. He looks down at it. The music is now to the point where I can’t even hear it. This is all ruined, I think as I look back to the clock. Just a few minutes left till midnight. Maybe I should just cancel and somehow…

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot,” Madi begins, her voice clear through the cold winter air. I look at her as she continues, “And never brought to mind?”

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot?”
April
and Jake join in, putting aside their squabbling long enough to seize the moment. “And days of auld lang syne?”

Madi slowly proceeds over to me. She steps close enough to where I can feel the warmth of her breath. I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t care that there is no electricity, no music, no lights.

“We’ll take a cup of kindness yet,” she continues singing, “For auld lang syne.”

Then the rooftop goes silent, the next lyrics escaping everyone.

“And surely ye’ll be your pint stoup,” I continue, picking up the song alone, “And surely I’ll be mine! And we’ll take a cup of kindness yet, For auld lang syne.” Out of breath, I stop.

Together, we share a quick smile as I glance at the clock tower. I hear voices whispering in my head, “You’re selling yourself short. There are so many girls you could lay, waiting to be laid by you, just ripe for the picking.”

I look over at
April
and feel a powerful lust overcome me. “She wants you,” the voices whispers to me. I think about having intercourse with
April
. Jake pokes me and I look back at the priest, who is waiting. I get my mind straight, tossing the lustful idea out of my head.

As the priest begins speaking, I watch
April
reach over to Madi with a trembling hand, offering her my ring. Madi smiles at her and takes it. I notice the ring is the same one Uriel had on his hand. Madi takes my hand and puts it on my fourth finger. I turn and look at Jake, my best man, who doesn’t know what to do.

I think nervously. I want to say to her that I’m sorry. That I wish we’d been unconventional and decided not to hold each other’s rings. Then Jake wouldn’t have lost mine and…

I stop, noticing Madi staring at me and I forget everything I was just thinking about. I hurry up and open my mouth which suddenly gets interrupted by Madi, who places a finger on my lips and smiles. “Now, will you kiss me already?”

I eagerly wait as I hear the crowd from the streets below begin to yell. “5…4…3…2…1! Happy New Year!”

I lean in until a loud sound frightens me. I look up to see a flash of blue sparkling light that just exploded. The sky suddenly fills itself with fireworks, bursting above us.

I look down to Madi and close my eyes. I lean in, about to kiss her, when I hear everything starting to break away from me.

45 Minutes

The doors open. Disoriented, I breathe deeply.
I missed it again
, I think as I remember her soft lips being so close to mine.

I walk out of the subway car. A feeling of pure happiness courses through my body. Madi is my wife, I happily think, and I was her face to call home. Someone that was always there for her. That was me. I smile at the thought and make my way out of the subway, spotting the bridge up ahead. I head towards it, skipping out of joy as I do.

Memories of cheating on Madi then enter my thoughts. I stop skipping as I remember my fantasy of April on my wedding night. Angry, I feel horrified at myself, like I don’t know who I really am. I look at Madi’s face on the billboard. Full of self-loathing and feeling confused, I shut my eyes tightly. Guilt rushes through me, filling me with misery. I continue walking, making my way to the apartment building.

I trudge into the elevator and head up. I’m sure Uriel is up there waiting for me.

The elevator stops and the doors open. I look out and see the rooftop. Uriel is standing there as expected. I step out as my watch beeps.

50 Minutes

“Here comes the groom! Congrats, Gucci! I know it’s odd saying this after you married the girl of your dreams and cheated on her all in the same day.”

Enraged by Uriel and angry at myself, I pull the tie out of his hair, trying to distract the angel. His hair falls down around his face. I quickly wind up and take a swing at him. I miss. Uriel moves around behind me like lightning.

“What do you want me to say? If you want someone to blame, then blame your upbringing. Trust and responsibility went out the door with you a long time ago. A controlling father and a mother that treated you like a little baby. Those are your role models right there, sweetie cakes. Sometimes love only exists in fairy tales, Gucci.”

I swing my fist again towards Uriel. I miss as he quickly moves behind me, once again.

“You just don’t get it, do you? I am not the enemy here. It’s human nature. In today’s society, people are just plain bored! They are bored with their life, their routine, and their grasp on the natural way of things. They desire what’s new, excitement, danger, the unexpected, the not knowing! They just can’t learn how to trust. Who knows? You wanted more and she was bringing you down. That’s why you cheated, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.”