Purgatorium (55 page)

I look back up about to tell her but Stephanie is now gone. Looking around the area, I don’t see her anywhere.

There’s no time to waste.

I go over to the light switch and flick it on. The chandelier shines a bright blue, showing me the hidden message on the wall which says “Greed.”

I look back over at the silver container, without thinking anything by her disappearance, and leave.

Holding the book, I walk down the stairs and out the back door. I don’t see her anywhere. I begin to jog my way in to the subway.

I look over to find a man lying on a bench, an empty bottle beside him. His hands are draped over the side.

I take a step closer. It’s
Jehudiel,
I realize. He appears to still be drunk from the last time I saw him. Remembering what he did to me in the office, I kick
him off
.

He staggers on the ground, twitching every which way. He calms himself and looks up at me. “Wait! What’s my name again? Je… Jegcial…Jesusal…wait. I’m going to get it.
Jehudiel
! That’s it! Hey! Alice! Come for the tea party? You just missed the man in white. He loves tea. It’s your world. I’m just drinking in it.”

Jehudiel
opens his jacket, pulls out another bottle, and shows it to me. “This is my friend Johnnie Walker. He truly may very well be the only friend that can lighten the soul.”

He offers it to me. “You in need of a friend, Alice?”

I try resisting the urge by relaxing. I focus on what I was trying to do.

Looking at the bottle full of liquor, I suddenly remember the flask in my pocket. I take it out and show it to him. He gazes at it, excitedly. “You’ve come back to me, silver!” Jehudiel reaches toward the flask. I quickly put it behind my back.

“How rude!” he says, slurring his words. “Someone told me that you were a scholar and a gentleman; apparently they were mistaken on both accounts!” He lifts up the bottle to his mouth and begins to chug.

I look at Jehudiel not understanding how he could be an angel. Maybe this world has gotten to him more than the others. I get his attention by waving the flask over his head. He stops drinking as I begin to think,
We had a deal, remember?

He takes a few seconds as he sits there, holding the same bewildered facial expression towards me.

“Ahhh! Your name! That’s right! You want to hear my riddle again! Don’t you, Alice?” asks Jehudiel. “A trade then.” I nod, understanding Jehudiel’s meaning.

“But first don’t you have someplace to be?” he says, pointing over his shoulder.

I look behind him and see the subway car doors have closed. I am too late! The train begins to move forward as a black light flickers on and off in the last car. I gaze out, seeing the word “Envy” painted on the window as it goes in and out. I panic as Jehudiel gets to his feet.

“Class dismissed! Or class is cancelled might be another term for it. What was I suppose to teach you again?” He takes a moment as he tries to balance himself up. “Ah yes! The art of mirroring oneself. That was it! Either way it was a boring subject to teach. You always failed at it anyway. Why couldn’t I have been responsible for teaching you how to….wait….what was I saying?” He falls back on the bench and starts whispering to himself.

I look at him in shock. I am screwed, as I see him blowing cold air out of his mouth.

Suddenly, I hear the reapers’ earth shattering screams from far away. I quickly grab Jehudiel by his tailored vest and bring him up to me.

I yell inside my head,
Give me the riddle to my name again! I need to know!

“Riddle? Did I say a riddle?Angels don’t riddle, do they? And since I am an angel then that is what I don’t do. But if I were to, which I never proclaimed I did, then I would probably have said unto you…”

He stops and holds out his hand. “What is worth more to you, I wonder? Remembering your Christian name? Or remembering anything at all?”

I feel a sharp frigid raw pain drape around my body. Jehudiel wraps his hands around me and whispers in my ear, “I will meet you with the riddle in wonderland. Back inside the rabbit hole you go, Alice.” He lifts his finger to the park and falls back onto the bench, whispering to himself again.

I look back towards the park, trying to figure out the meaning of his words.

Inside the rabbit hole?
I think as I begin to recollect the story of Alice in Wonderland. Wait! Not rabbit hole; he must be saying, back to inside the hole of the tree!

I quickly take off to the stairs, leaving Jehudiel with his crazy thoughts.

I run up the last set of steps and out of the subway. I hear in the distance a familiar melody. Now that it is 42:02, it only leaves me with a few seconds left.

I quickly make my way through the park, moving my legs as fast as they can go down the grassy field. Cold air flows out through my lungs, leaving me with a dry taste in my mouth. The polar winds start to brush up against my already shivering face. The arctic wind brushes up against my hair, freezing it over.

I keep my sights forward as I can feel my eyelashes being iced over. I am just a few feet away from the tree. I look over to see the ground behind me beginning to freeze. I pump my legs harder, giving me further distance from the ground under me that is quickly freezing over.

I hear the reapers loud screech behind me being drowned out as the music grows louder. I keep spinning my legs, one foot over the other, keeping each step underneath me so as not to be iced over. My glazed-over eyes stay focused on the door. Only a few feet left, almost there, I keep thinking to myself.

The polar winds grow heavy as if my legs were running under water. I feel my soul burning away any strength I have left for this last push. I dig in deep, busting myself through the forceful wind blockade. The sound of the music from up above grows louder, cascading over the whole park.

I try to resist and not listen as I look over to the left and right of me to find the frozen grass breaking away like puzzle pieces. Up ahead, I see the tree has now become completely iced over. The door can no longer be seen. I brace myself, keeping my fierce pace straight and on point to where the door was located.

The layout in front of me all at once begins to break away into puzzle pieces. My frigid body slams right through the layers of the glacial exterior and into the door, shattering it on impact. My eyelids freeze over, sending my visual perception into darkness.

I open my eyes. I appear to be lying down on a bed, naked and hungover. I don’t hear any music playing. I lift my head up and see that I am back in what appears to be my apartment room.
How did I get back here?
I wonder. I look to my right and see a different set of pants and a shirt that I never had on, lying on the ground. I suddenly feel like I am observing myself again, not in control. I notice that the main door, leading out to the hallway, is open.

The thought dissipates as I look at the nightstand and see a hotel Bible and a clock which reads 5:45AM. I roll to the edge of my bed, trying to remember where I am and how I got here. My head is aching as I pull on my pants and shirt.

As soon as I stand up, my knees start to shake. I’m a bit dizzy as I feel myself fall back on to the nightstand, knocking over the book to the floor. I begin to throw-up on the bedspread. After a few seconds, I stable myself and stand back up, feeling a little better.

I reach into my pants’ pockets—my money and keys are gone. I walk over to the phone beside the bed. I am about to call down to reception for a taxi when something catches my eye on the bed—a bra. At that moment, I remember what I have done.

I yell out, “Lisa?!” I peek into the bathroom and find she isn’t there. I look down at my bag on the ground. Reaching down, I see that all my money is gone and has been replaced with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label whiskey. A sticky note is posted on the side of the liquor bottle reads: ‘Thank you.’

She must have used me to get to my winnings,
I think. What am I going to say to Madi? How is she ever going to forgive me?

My mind races, trying to remember, thinking of possible excuses. I fall to the floor and lean my head back up against the side of the bed. I uncork the bottle of whiskey and guzzle it halfway down.

Suddenly, I hear a faint whisper. I regain control of my mind and try to push the evil thoughts away. This isn’t a ‘me and Madi’ memory, I begin to think. My sinful memories must have won out against my happy ones. As glad as I am to still remember, I can’t help but feel saddened by the thought of my evil sins winning over my happiness. The voice begins to grow clearer.

“Lie,” it whispers.

This is my demon, I think to myself. It has been hiding from me in plain sight all this time. Whispering to me, making me say things. I won’t let it get to me, not now or ever again!

“Lie,” the voice says again. I try to push the voice out, not letting it get to me. Not this time, I think again.

Get out of my head!

“Lie,” the voice says once more, its voice getting deeper now. I gather up pure thoughts and good memories to form a wall around my mind, leading my demon with nowhere to go but out.

Suddenly, everything is quiet. I scan the room, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Then glancing to the far right, I find
Jehudiel
, standing back to the open door. He turns to me smiling.

“Not a bicycle built for two type of guy, are ya?” He moves his face in front of mine. I stare at him, noticing a difference in his voice. Almost as if we’re sober.

Jehudiel? He is my demon, I think with dismay.

Jehudiel peruses my forehead and uses his finger to poke at it. “Knock knock, in there. You have switched radio frequencies on me. I can’t pick up a thing. You are nothing but…what’s the word? Static!”

I continue to look at him, keeping my eyelids from not blinking as I notice that even his walk seems elegant, rather than his usual stumbling.

Jehudiel cocks his head and moves closer to my face. He looks deep into my eyes. “You can see me, can’t you, Alice?”

I blink my eyes, adjusting back from the state I was just in. I bring my body back up and look at him, feeling betrayed.

“Now don’t look at me like that.” He grabs a chair and pulls it next to me. He sits and makes himself comfortable. “You’ve heard the saying: Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel.” A smug smile comes across his face. “If you have something to say, might as well speak up.”

I continue to stare at him, knowing that I can’t speak.

Jehudiel laughs as he scoops up the bottle from my hand. “I told you it was good but let’s share with the class.” He lifts it up, smiling like a schoolgirl, and holds the bottle to my face. “I best be sober for a bit for this. Don’t want to be forgetting anything.” He puts the bottle down on the glass table.

“And this is it,” he continues. “This moment right here. This is the moment when you decide to take this luscious bottle of whiskey, head downstairs, call a cab, go home, and lie to your wife. And that lie soon would spread like a plague in your mind, your body, and your soul. Which will one day cause you to make one big, humongous wreck! A wreck that could have been prevented if your mind was clear, your heart honest, and your soul clean.”

He raises the bottle high above me and aims it towards my hands. He lets it go as I assume control of my body. I catch the bottle and grip my fingers tight around the glass structured object. I take the glass rim and hold it tight.

“Bingo! You have learned how to control your mind and body faster than before. I am impressed. Though there is one thing you still have left to show me—your soul. Go on then, sing me a soulful tune.”

My fists clench, rage building in me at having been played. I use all my will power to move my hand up. I reach back and swing the bottle towards Jehudiel’s face. It quickly smashes on his hand, as I can see he swiftly deflected it. He takes his other hand and quickly hits my throat. I go down on the bed.

“Hurts, doesn’t it? Feeling pain in this sort of memory flashback is much different than what you’re used too. Almost takes you back to feeling human again.”

I try to speak in my frustration but am still not able to convey any words.

He places his fingers over my mouth. “I can’t hear you! What good is a tongue if you can’t use it?!” He pinches my tongue. I force my teeth to chomp down on his fingers. He pulls them away, laughing like a madman. He takes out my flask and begins licking his lips.