While my eyes roam wildly around the room, I miss when Dom stands and moves toward me. He cups my face with both his hands, forcing me to stare straight at him. His eyes spark with an intense determination, which causes my heart to skip a beat.
“I. Love. You.” Dom’s voice is rough with emotion, but his words are spoken with clarity and conviction.
Tears prick my eyes and pressure builds in my chest. “You hurt me, just like all the others.”
Dom's body stiffens, and his forehead pinches while his expression becomes pained. “I know, and I’m so fucking sorry for that. I didn’t know Jae hurt you. I didn’t know about your childhood. I didn’t fucking
know
any of it, or else I promise I would have made different decisions.”
Pushing on Dom's chest with all my strength, I put much-needed distance between us. “Don’t say his name,” I scream.
Rage simmers below the surface as my chest rises and falls heavily. “You broke me.” Dom's face blanches. “Out of every man who destroyed me, you are the one who ruined me. Because I loved you.” I end on a shout. “I pushed aside my fears for you. I slept with you after I was raped.” My voice turns soft, and my eyes fall to the floor in shame; the same involuntary reaction I always have when thinking or talking about my rape. I'm not something I’m sure I’ll ever overcome. After a moment of silence between us, my eyes land on Dom. He’s staring at me with a deeply indented frown, his pale face highlighting his agonized eyes. “Do you know what that does to a woman? To give herself to a man after having that stolen from her? Only to be told it was a mistake? It altered my existence. It broke the last remaining piece of hope I had, which I'd given to you.” I fist my hands in the air with frustration, even my still-healing wrist, not caring if I’m hurting myself. All I can think about are the tears streaming down my face and the painful memories that are twisting up my insides. “Then imagine hearing that, even though you broke my heart in two, it wasn’t real anyway: the love or the pain.”
“It was.
Is
.” Dom's voice is guttural.
“No it
isn't,"
I grit out. “You were the last straw for me. You came too late. I have nothing left to give.”
Dom clears his throat. “That’s your fear speaking”—he steps toward me—“but I swear I'll never let you down again. Just please, let me prove myself to you first before you give up on us.”
I step away from Dom and gesture toward my chest. “I thought there would always be this last remnant of hope inside me, because no matter what happened to me—even after Rex almost killed me—I still had this ember of hope for you and me. But how much can one person take? I can’t speak for the world, only me, and I’m done. Hope only leads to disappointment and pain.”
Dom frowns; however, it doesn’t last long. He leans toward me, pushing his shoulders back and becoming more alert, staring at me with strong eye contact. “It can do, but not only that. It can also lead to joy, love, contentment, wonder, and so much more. Good or bad, you have to take the risk. Nothing remarkable comes without great sacrifice, and, baby, you have sacrificed enough. Please take one more leap of faith for me.” He speaks in a steady, low-pitched voice.
Dom demands too much of me, and he’s asking too late.
“No,
even if I'm tired,
I have more hate for you than I do love.”
Lies.
“That’s okay.” Dom sits on the bed staring up at me but not with defeat like I envisioned. Instead he has the same determination that I’ve come to find in his brown eyes. “We have forever. I'll wait as long as it takes.”
Frustrated, I spin on my heel and head toward the bathroom. Part of me wants to turn around and jump into his arms, but instead, I walk away. Some people find courage from their scars; for me, the pain is too extreme. I won’t risk collecting any more.
Chapter Six
Dom
After changing into a pair of jeans and a gray T-shirt, I hear Dell turn off the shower. I decide to head down to the motel store and give her some space for when she gets out. I’m emotionally exhausted, so I can only imagine how she must feel. My heart is beating, but only just; she ripped me apart this morning. It was unintentional, but it doesn’t mean it hurt any less. My regrets weigh heavier now, but my resolve to win her back is only strengthened. She’s in pain and knowing it’s because of what I did, sends me to the edge of my sanity. But I refuse to fall off the cliff. I
will
show her I’m here to stay, and I will show her who I really am. I am Brett, just with a different name and this time, know everything, there are no more lies between us.
On my way down to the store, I check the bandage around my leg. It still looks good, hurts like a bitch, but I know if I keep it clean and covered, it will heal well. I check my watch. It's seven o'clock. We need to get on the road as soon as possible. For Della, today is about finding a safe house and when the time is right, meeting friends of mine who can help her. And for me, it's about saying good-bye to a best friend, a brother. Della doesn’t know yet that I made a phone call late last night to Mexico and spoke with her real brothers and her cousin, Joseph, and his partner, Alexa. They will also be arriving in Minnesota today.
I’m dialing a number I really don’t want to but know I need to. It’s the right thing to do. Admittedly, it's the more complicated thing, but the moral thing.
“Dom,” Joseph, Della's cousin answers the call.
“Joseph,” I reply in a hoarse voice.
“You’re on speaker, Dom, with Alexa, and my cousins, Matt, Alex and Will. And before you start, I just wanted to say from all of us how sorry we are about Nick.”
Taking a deep breath, struggling to keep my voice steady, there’s silence for a few seconds before I can finally clear my throat and in a gruff voice say, “Thanks, that means a lot. One consolation is he died doing what he loved. He was at his happiest on jobs and being undercover. He loved the thrill of the life. And, Alexa, I know he would have been proud to go that way, helping you. He cared for you more than he’s ever cared for another woman.”
“I cared for him too, Dom…” her voice comes out strangled, “…so much.” I believe her.
Joey clears his throat. “Jake said you have information for us?”
“Yeah, I do. We found out who the sister is.” Silence ensues for a moment before I go on. “I actually know her. Well, more than know her. She’s my girl. Well, she was my girl.”
“What the fuck?” Alexander, one of Della's real brothers, says in disbelief.
“Yeah, it’s a long story, but the short version is, Serrano, the dumb fuck, told most of his men who it was in case he was killed, and they were supposed to go after Michael and your sister if anything happened to him. So we took a few of the guys out for drinks, and it slipped out easily, like taking candy from a baby, so fucking easy. When I found out who it was, I got on the next flight and headed to tell her. Nick was supposed to let you guys know, but obviously, Michael got to him first.” My last words come out shaky.
“What’s her name? Who is she? Where does she live? Is she happy?” William, one of Della's other brothers, asks.
I chuckle, feeling relief that the subject has been changed and also happy to talk about Dell. “Her name is Della King. She’s twenty-six, and she’s studying business at college. She’s beautiful, smart, and sassy as fuck.”
“Della King,” Alexa says, but it seems she’s saying it more to herself than asking me a question.
“She took that name a few years ago, with her brothers. Her family life is complicated. Della and her brothers are the Portland Street Kings, and while that might not mean much to you all, in Kentucky, it holds a lot of weight. They are known as a ruthless gang.”
“Fuck!” William spits out. “We need to get her out.”
“She’s not trapped,” I quickly state. “Those men are her brothers, and I know you want to find your sister, but be prepared, because I doubt she will ever leave them to come play happy families with you all.” I sigh with regret; that was probably a harsh way to convey Della's devotion toward her family. “See, they came from a bad home, a terrible one.” The brothers are yet to find out their father left their sister with a monster. I doubt they’d be surprised, but I’m not sure that information should come from me. That’s Della's story to tell. “They escaped and grew up on the streets, and to become safe, began standing against those who would hurt them. They had to be ruthless, but they did it out of necessity. They’re a family first and foremost. They’re all she’s ever known, and they have done things, illegal things, to make sure Della had the best life they could offer her. They are why she’s in college. Don’t go thinking she needs saving from them, because she’s loved.”
“So, you're saying she won’t want to know us?” Matthew asks with real concern in his voice.
“I have no idea. I'm just preparing you for anything. There’s another reason I’m calling. Since I’ve come back, shit has hit the fan. And now, Frank Lucini has his sights set on Della and unfortunately, half of that is my fault, and the other half happened just as I turned up.”
“What the fuck happened and what do you mean it’s half your fault? What the fuck did you do to our sister?” William yells down the line, and I can’t blame him for being furious with me, they know how ruthless Lucini can be.
“It’s a long story and I don’t have time to chat with you all on the phone. We’re one day into our road trip to Minnesota for Nick's funeral, but fuck, these bastards have found us once already. She needs your help. You guys hold a lot of weight with Frank and can also take away his biggest business. You need to strike a deal with him, one that will make sure Della walks away from all this alive.”
“Done,” Alexander says quickly.
“I’m coming to Minnesota with Alexa tomorrow. I want to meet her,” William demands.
“I’ll let her know. She knows everything. She's taking it in, but right now, she hates my fucking guts, so I don’t have a clue if she’s happy or not.”
“Fine, but tell her I will meet her,” William states.
Shaking my head, I chuckle at his high-handed order. “Yeah, buddy, I’ll let her know, but just a warning, you speak to her like that to her face, and I will kick your balls so hard you’ll choke on them. Hell, she might do that to you first. Remember, she’s used to tough guys. They don’t faze her at all.”
“Before you go, Dom, let us know what she did to get Lucini offside so we know how bad this is,” Joseph asks.
“She killed two Sicilian mafia family members,” I answer and then I end the call.
I may have fibbed about Della killing two Mafia members, but right now, Lucini thinks she did, so all I want is for the O’Connors to bust their ass to save her, not argue over who did or didn’t do what. Lucini is only going to see one way with this: kill Della or get a deal good enough to forget she ever existed.
I haven’t had a moment to tell Dell all this yet. I’m slightly afraid it’s another reason for her to hate me, or she’ll run in the opposite direction when she hears her real brother, William, will be there waiting to meet her. I will tell her though. I just can’t risk her holding me up today. I need to get to that funeral and say good-bye to Nick.
While staying close to Lucini in Mexico—doing jobs for him here and there—one of my best friends, Nick, appeared in town wanting to help an old flame. We both promised to help the O’Connor brothers find their sister and bring down their father. Never in a million years would I have thought that sister would be Della. When I heard, it was all the reason I needed to go back to Portland and see her. Something I fought against strongly, but knew I wouldn’t be able to fight forever. I was
always
going back to her. I just hoped it would be after I fixed my fuck-up.
Reaching the store, my eyes automatically peer through the glass windows into the parking lot to seek out the green Dodge. Parked in the same spot, an old beat-up, red Camry is parked next to it, and on the other side, is a sleek silver Mercedes Benz.
I take the aisles one at a time, slowly picking out things for the long five-hour trip ahead of us; bottles of water, chips, and a Milky Way, knowing that’s Della's favorite chocolate. My hands are full, so I decide I have enough and take it all to the counter. I pop a note down and wait for my change, but the old guy is painfully sluggish, even just moving off his chair feels as if I’m watching a slow-motion movie. While I wait for the change, my eyes drift back to the parking lot. Both the old car and flashy car are still there.
“Fifteen-fifty, son,” the man states in a gruff voice.
Placing my fingers on the note, I push it toward him, and again my eyes wander back to the parking lot.
What’s an expensive car like that doing at a motel like this?
On our way through town, Della and I passed quite a few suite hotels, even one just down the road.
“Thirty-four fifty change, son.”
Thanking the man, I take my change and the bag and walk out of the store.
Heaviness sits in my stomach, and I’m not sure why. Again, my eyes seek out the parking lot and that damn Mercedes.
Why the hell does that bother me so much?
I don’t know anyone who would drive such an expensive car, except— Chills race down my spine.
Fuck!