Authors: Evangeline Anderson
“Nadiah? Sweetheart?” Rast sounded genuinely alarmed as he turned her around to face him. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he demanded anxiously.
Nadiah shook her head, still too overcome with emotion to talk at first. “N-no,” she managed at last. “Just so…so intense. So…I can’t describe it. I felt so taken out of myself, so
open
when I gave myself to you just now.”
“You were so beautiful, submitting like that.” Rast cupped her cheek and brushed away her tears with his thumb. “I hope it didn’t upset you, though. I just wanted to make you forget.”
“I can never forget it—not really.” Nadiah shuddered at the hideous memory of Y’dex’s final moments. “But this makes it easier to bear. The knowledge that I can come to you, can give myself to you body and soul and know you’ll touch me and take me and make me feel things I never would otherwise.” She sighed in frustration. “I’m not saying this right but I don’t exactly know how to express it.”
“I think you’re doing a wonderful job.” Rast smiled and kissed her gently on the tip of her nose, making her smile through her tears. “I know exactly what you mean. And I’m glad you didn’t mind me trying something new without talking about it first. I knew I was taking a chance but I thought it might help you get over, you know…”
“It helped me a lot,” Nadiah assured him, snuggling closer. “Wrap me in your wings. I want to feel you all around me.”
“With pleasure.” His vast, iridescent wings suddenly came out, just as they had on the day they had saved both their lives, and wrapped gently around Nadiah’s body.
“Ahh…” It was like being caressed by the gentlest, warmest
tharp
in the world. A sensation that was somehow comforting and deliciously sexual at the same time. Once wrapped in those lovely wings, it never took Nadiah long to start feeling amorous. However, since she’d just had such intense and satisfying loving from Rast, she thought she could hold off a little before round two.
“Glad you’re enjoying your own personal feather bed.” Rast’s voice was dry but she could hear the humor in it and see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Every girl should be so lucky,” Nadiah murmured, stroking his chest. “And I don’t just mean every girl should have a male with wings—I mean everyone should have a mate they can trust.” Her thoughts drifted to Lissa—to her secret shame and sorrow and the sadness on her face when she’d explained to Nadiah how she could never be with the male she truly loved. “Someone…someone who loves and cares for them more than anything in the universe,” she murmured.
“That’s
exactly
how I feel.” Rast held her tight and gave her a sweet, lingering kiss on the lips. “But are you talking about any one girl in particular?”
Nadiah sighed. They hadn’t been mated for that long but already he knew her so well. Well enough to know when something was troubling her. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I was.” Since Lissa had come to her in the first place with the request that she talk to Rast, she felt no compunction about relating the new high priestess’s sad story to him.
“That sucks,” he said flatly when she was finished. “You mean her adopted parents shipped her off here just because they didn’t want her with their son?”
“Apparently it’s a huge stigma there,” Nadiah said. “The fact that they were living in the same household and from the same clan.”
“But they weren’t related by blood,” Rast protested.
Nadiah nodded. “That’s what I kept saying too. But apparently Lissa’s people look on it the same as if she had actually fallen in love with her own flesh and blood older brother.”
Rast made a face. “That would be sick.”
“Exactly. Which is why she was forced to renounce her true love and was exiled here to First World.”
“I hope you told her she was doing a good job and that we still think she’s perfect as high priestess,” Rast said.
Nadiah smiled. “Of course I did. But she asked me to talk to you, so I thought I’d better get your opinion too.”
“You know how I feel.” Rast smiled at her. “Lissa seems like a very sweet girl and I think she’ll grow into her new job as she goes. I would definitely know about that,” he added dryly, flexing his wings.
“Of course,” Nadiah said as the soft, iridescent feathers ruffled around her.
“And even if she’s a little inexperienced, she’s still a hell of a lot better than the old high priestess—uh…”
“Minverna,” Nadiah said. “I didn’t know her name either. I don’t think she went by it much.”
“No, she was all about the title and the power,” Rast said, frowning. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her since the Goddess kicked her out of the temple.”
“Lissa says she only comes out at night.” Nadiah shook her head. “I told her that has to stop. I don’t like the idea of her creeping around when we’re all asleep.”
“I don’t like it much, either.” Rast frowned. “Do you want me to go say something to her?”
“Lissa said she’d do it herself, though I got the idea she’s not exactly looking forward to it.”
“Who would?” Rast muttered.
“No one,” Nadiah said grimly. “Even without her priestess powers, Minverna is still a formidable woman.”
“Well, that’s a nice way to put it. A lot nicer than what I would have said.” He chuckled. “But anyway, tell Lissa, if she has any problems, to let me know. I’m the Councilor—that’s what I’m here for.”
“I will.” Nadiah pressed closer so that their pelvises were touching and felt something hot and hard brush against her thigh. “But who helps you with
your
problems, Councilor?” she asked, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.
“What problems?” Rast growled playfully. “You mean like the one you give me by being so Goddamn gorgeous and naked?”
Nadiah smiled and nudged his stiff shaft again with her thigh. “Exactly.”
“Well, since you’re the one who gave me the problem, I think
you
should be the one to solve it.” Rast captured her mouth in a long breathless kiss. “What do you say?” he murmured when they finally broke apart.
“I say I’d be happy to help.” With a naughty little grin, Nadiah ducked her head and placed a warm, wet kiss on his muscular abdomen. “Just hold still, Councilor. I’ll fix this problem right…now.”
Merrick set the cruiser’s auto controls with care, putting the little ship on a direct intersect for Rageron and making sure they wouldn’t overshoot. He checked everything twice just to be sure and was about to check a third time when he realized what he was doing—he was procrastinating. Putting off the moment when he’d have to go down the ship’s corridor and share his bed with Elise. And it wasn’t because he didn’t want to touch her.
It was because he wanted to touch her too damn much.
His hands itched to caress her smooth, silky skin and his shaft hardened in his flight pants at the thought of holding her small, perfectly formed body next to his. Though he knew the feelings came from their artificial bond, he couldn’t help himself—they felt
real
. And all he wanted to do was lay her down on the bed and stroke and kiss and caress her until she came, over and over, with his name on her lips.
Shouldn’t feel this way. We’re barely talking to each other, and this fucking bond between us is fake.
But it didn’t matter. Or rather, Merrick couldn’t
make
it matter, even though he tried. Tried like a son-of-a-bitch.
“This is stupid,” he muttered to himself. “Just fucking get in there and give her what she needs—whatever it is.” Which would probably amount to another topless hug in which case he was going to have to be very fucking careful they didn’t touch below the waist. From the fear in Elise’s brown eyes when they’d talked about the sleeping arrangements, the feel of his hard shaft pressed against her was
not
going to go over well. Or course, he could always try to keep from getting hard when he touched her…
Hell, if I could do that, I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place,
Merrick admitted to himself.
With a sigh, he stood up and stretched, putting the palms of his hands flat against the ceiling of the cruiser. It was built with the oversized Kindred males in mind but even for his own species, Merrick was a bruiser.
Good thing I’m not claustrophobic
, he thought as he made his way down the corridor and back to the cabins.
He knocked gently on the door and then cursed himself for doing it. Damn it, this was
his
room. But somehow he couldn’t bring himself to just barge in. Elise was already so damn jumpy about the whole ‘sleeping together’ thing and he didn’t want to make it worse.
There was no answer to his knock. Frowning, Merrick knocked again. Again, no answer.
Fuck it, she’s probably already asleep. I’ll just go in and lay down on the bed beside her,
he told himself.
Quietly, he slid open the metal panel and stepped into the room. It was dark and the slight shape which must be Elise was huddled under the blankets at the far edge of the sleeping platform, right where it met the wall. Merrick called her name softly but she didn’t stir. Sighing, he kicked off his boots and began to pull his thin, v-necked shirt over his head, intending to drop it on the floor and just sleep in his pants even though it would be damn uncomfortable. He didn’t want Elise waking up and finding him naked beside her when—
A high, frightened gasp rose from the figure on the sleeping platform and then, suddenly, Elise was off the bed like a bolt fired from a blaster.
Merrick caught her by the shoulders. “Hey, whoa—where are you going?”
“Let me go!
Let me go!”
Her voice was a frantic sob, the sound of pure terror. Merrick could smell the fear coming off her in waves—sweat laced with adrenaline assaulted his sensitive nose. Gods, what was wrong with her?
“It’s me, Elise. It’s just me,” he told her but still she fought him, fumbling in the darkened room, trying frantically go get away.
“Leave me alone. Don’t touch me! Not that way. Not again!” She kicked out and Merrick had reason to be glad he was so tall. If he’d been even a few inches shorter, he would have been minus at least one of his balls. Still Elise struggled, obviously blind with terror.
She can’t see me—she thinks I’m someone else. Someone who wants to hurt her.
The thought flashed through his brain and he knew at once it was right.
“Lights!” he roared. “Give me some fucking lights in here!”
At once, the overhead lights came on as the cruiser obediently obeyed his voice command. As soon as the room filled with their golden glow, Merrick dropped to his knees. He still held Elise’s shoulders and he was so much taller than her that they were almost eye level, but he hoped he might look less threatening this way. Less dangerous.
“It’s me,” he told her again, trying to make his voice soft and soothing. “Just me, baby. Just me.”
Finally she stopped fighting him. “Merrick?” She sounded so uncertain he wasn’t sure she really understood.
“Yeah, it’s me,” he said quietly. “You okay?”
“Yes, fine. I…I’m fine.” She ran a trembling hand through her hair and took a quick, gasping breath. “I’m sorry. I must have been having a…a bad dream.”
“Is that right?” he said flatly. “A dream…or a memory?”
“A memory?” Elise repeated.
Merrick was glad to see the hunted look, like an animal running for its life, disappear from her face. But he wasn’t happy with the look that replaced it either. The look of someone about to tell a lie—and not only to him—to herself, too.
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Elise shook her head. “I…it was just a bad dream, that’s all. I mean, after the things I’ve been through in the past month or two, I think I’m entitled to have a few bad dreams, don’t you?”
“Sure you are.” Merrick walked over and sat on the side of the sleeping platform. “Except I don’t think that was just a dream.” He patted the space on the gel-foam mattress beside him. “Come on. Let’s talk about it.”
“Talk about what? There’s nothing to talk about.” She crossed her arms over her chest protectively. For the first time, he noticed she was wearing one of his shirts—the hem fell almost to her knees.
And her knees were shaking.
Merrick gave her a long, hard look. Clearly now wasn’t the time to broach the subject of her past. He could sense her nervousness in the air and the lingering scent of desperation hung around her like a suffocating perfume. Elise didn’t just not want to talk about this—she was almost
frantic
not to. Why? Merrick didn’t know and he had to admit that at the moment, he wasn’t up to finding out. It had been a long day. A
very
long day and suddenly it seemed to all catch up with him at once.
Running a hand over his skull-cut hair, he sighed. “Fuck it. We’ll leave it alone for tonight. Come on, I’m beat—let’s go to bed.” He stretched out on the bed, feeling bone weary and ready for some shut eye. He let his eyelids drift shut and was almost asleep when he realized he was alone on the bed.
Where the hell is Elise?
When he opened his eyes, he saw her. She was standing there, at the edge of the sleeping platform with her arms crossed and her hands fisted under her breasts. But it was the look on her face, even more than her body language, which caught Merrick’s attention.
She was leaning toward him, a yearning look in those deep brown eyes, an expression of hunger so great it was nearly starvation. Her lower lip was caught between even, white teeth that reminded him of pearls and her nostrils flared periodically, almost as though she were scenting him.
Like a starving person smelling a meal they really want to eat,
Merrick thought, bemused.
But despite her obvious hunger, Elise stayed where she was. It was as though she was on the outside looking in—unable to get what she wanted, what she so desperately needed. Something was holding her back. Something was keeping her from coming to him.
Something…or some
one?
Merrick wondered, remembering her terror when he’d first come into the room.