PUSH: Ultra Alpha MMA Badboy Mafia Romance (Southside Brotherhood Book 2) (25 page)

Her hands gripped the steering wheel, and Flynn knew she was already beginning to fluster.

“What? Tell me everything, remember? I want it all, then I can deal with it and we can move on.”

“It’s just — I mean, what if he finds the phone? I’m just afraid.” She sighed. “Coming here, the phone, last night, sneaking out and back in — he’s going to find out.”

“It’s going to be fine. Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got it.” Flynn was about up to his nuts with this shit. If he had a Winnebago tied behind his Bronco, he’d have her ass inside and halfway across the country by now.

“I give a fu—
I care
. My mom…”

Flynn could see her knuckles turning white, and he sucked air in through his teeth as he gave himself a hard push away from the Nissan.

“Yeah, I know. I also told you — I. Will. Take. Care. Of. It. Do you have a selective memory? Did what just happened in there take too much blood out of that beautiful brain?”

She stared straight ahead.

“You —
your family
. This is all a crazy world. I only lived a small part of it before I came, but now, being here. I see the reach. The way it works and there are no outs. No one is wearing Kevlar; we’re all subject to the wrath. Even my mother, across the ocean. Your father holds her life —
her life,
Flynn — in his hands.”

Flynn fought the overwhelming urge to clutch his hand around her throat. Not to hurt her unnecessarily but to pull her back into the moment, to make her turn off and trust him.

As God’s listening, I’m fucking going to figure this out. Every problem has a fucking solution and every beast has a weakness. I’ve fought my way through this damn life this far. Now it’s time to take everything these fuckers have taught me and break the damn chains they have locked around us all. Fuck this, I’ll die before she keeps living like this.

“Don’t fight me. Not like this and not in any other way. I know you. I’ve known you since I touched you and that first night we sat in the boat house. I’m going to take care of you like I said, but you have to stop fighting me. I’m not going to negotiate for your obedience.”

“My obedience?” Lilly flashed a ‘fuck you’ grin at him.

“Yes. Tell me you don’t want it? Deep down that craving to be taken care of, protected from all the shit flying around you? It’s in your nature, I can feel it, and it’s my damn nature to be the person to take that point-position in your life.”

“I’m perfectly capab—”

“I’m not fucking talking about what you
can
do. Last night, today, when we’re together, that’s who you are. That’s your true nature and it’s beautiful. It’s not weak, it’s strong, and it makes my head spin knowing I’ve found something so perfect. So right. You and me are going to be, Lilly. I’ve been in your heart and mind — No, you’ve accepted me into your heart and mind already. You can push and wiggle around all you want, but it would save us both a lot of time, and you more red asses, if you will quit with the push back, okay?”

Flynn watched as she took a deep breath and swallowed. Then, she let it out and her head fell forward before turning to stare at him. Her eyes looking like she had just realized something.

“Just promise you will take good care of me? I can’t say I know exactly what this is,
this us,
but it’s something I’ve never had before or even dreamed. After all these years, I meet you and within a few months, I feel like you know me better than anyone, that you are the first person who cares about what is good for me instead of what I can do for them. Please, just don’t hurt me — leave me — I don’t know if I could take that.”

Flynn leaned into the car window, his finger lifting her chin so he could take her mouth. The kiss was soft but firm. He needed her to understand he would never hurt her but that she belonged to him now.

“You know I would never hurt you. In your heart, you already know that. So, from here on out, this second, you’re mine. Your body, your spirit, your mind and your heart, they belong to me. Got it? That’s us. Tell me you understand. I need you to come willingly. I don’t want you if you are reluctant. I know it’s who you are and what we are. Now, tell me you understand. Say you belong to me.”

Flynn didn’t let her look away. One hand held her chin, his other reached into the car and traced up between her legs, laying solid at the tight space still warm.

“Answer me.” Flynn pressed harder between her legs.

“I belong to you.” Her words came out just on the other side of a whisper but Flynn could feel her entire being shift as she let it out and tears filled her eyes.

“Good girl. Now, go see Mac. You need that; he’s good for you. Nothing about us though. You have to let me play this out, figure out how to get you everything you need.”

He met her lips quickly, felt the silk of her hair as he stroked his hand to push the waves of red behind her ear.

She turned the key, the Nissan giving a high-pitched hum as both her hands gripped the wheel.

Just as Flynn backed away, she turned, one single trail of salt heavy water down her cheek.

“And you may just get us all killed.”

With that, she turned and buzzed into traffic.

***

“What is it? Don’t fuck around, I’m old. I give a shit about you, tell me what’s wrong, for Christsake.”

Mac pushed his unfinished lunch to the side, his fingers tapping on the shiny chrome arms of his wheelchair. His ever-present diamond pinky ring dinged as he tapped.

“Just a lot on my mind. That’s all, I’m fine. Eat your food. You’ve lost weight.” Lilly looked into Mac’s watery blue eyes as he stared her down without moving from across the small, round mahogany table he always reserved for them.

He didn’t move, just the fingers tapping and Lilly rolled her eyes.

“What? Come on, some days are just worse than others. You try being betrothed to one man then finding out you’ve been duped. This family is crazy, you know that? You too. Now eat or I’m leaving.”

“You’re not leaving, stop the pity party. Something else is bothering you. Look, I’m old. I don’t have much to think about every day, so when you come here, I see everything. This is not your normal smartass charm. Something’s different. What’s happened? Is it your mom?”

“No. Yes, well, yes.” Lilly huffed. “Can you please stop tapping like that?”

Mac screwed up his face and tapped even harder.

“God, every man in my life is a pain in the ass. Where are all the women? Huh? It’s like a frat party and I’m the lone token girl who showed up. All of you drive me crazy.
Every one.
”

TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP

“FINE! Oh my freakin’ god.” Lilly tossed her head back, her hair falling to the back of the chair almost to her ass.

“It’s someone new. I can see it. Who is it? One of the programmers at work? You’ve got a little nerd action on the side?” Mac tipped his head, trying to keep eye contact as Lilly pulled her lips to the side.

“No.” She shook her head as an uncontrollable blush rose under her freckled cheeks. “The last thing I need in my life in another man. Between the two families, I’m up to my earlobes in XY chromosomes.”

“Okay, so who?”

“What makes you so sure it’s a ‘who’? Maybe I’m just worried about the work. I’m stuck on some code and everyone is waiting for me. It’s like they won’t let me just sit down in a group and talk it out. Colin keeps me locked up in that server room. I have to do all my work in a vacuum.”

“You’re the golden goose.”

“Yeah, and I feel like I’m going to lay a rotten egg.”

“Quit changing the subject. I know what I know. There’s someone, I can see something different in your eyes. In your manner. You have to be careful. I should tell you to stop it now, cut it off. That would be what I
should
say.”

Lilly pulled her hair into a long tail, twisted it up and onto the top of her head, holding it there like she was leaning back in a chair.

“You’re just old. You don’t know anything.”

“Uh huh. And you’re just young and you know even less. Listen to me.” His voice turned and he looked out the window, his fingers finally stopping their tap. “When you get old, you figure some things out. For me, it’s too late to go back and change anything, and I wouldn’t. But, if I could tell you one thing,
hell,
tell anyone who would listen, I’d tell them not to wait. Not to live life how you think you should. You gotta be true to whoever it is inside you. Now, I know, I told you that you should make nice with Colin. Be a good girl and do your duty and marry that fucker, but he’s an ass. He’s more than that, he’s dangerous and this whole set up is for the birds.”

He finally turned back, and Lilly looked to see him staring at her.

Around them, the place was filled with people at the end of their years. Mulling around and chattering, some looking like Grumpy from the seven dwarfs, some laughing like they were kids.

“Who is it?” Mac’s voice was low, and Lilly felt that familiar hum start inside.

“Flynn.”

“Jesus. I knew it.”

Mac’s fingers tightened around the metal arms of his wheelchair.

“I know. I’m going to need Jesus to get me out of this.”

Mac let out a bellow and a laugh that drew head turns from around the room.

“What are you all looking at?” he groused back as they all went back with discomfort to their meals.

“You’re a curmudgeon, you know that? Everyone looked because they’ve probably never heard you laugh before. Thought maybe you were having a seizure.”

“Well, I don’t have any pull with Jesus, but I’m going to tell you something. Something your father will never tell you, but I know what I know.”

“What’s that?”

“He loved your mother. Not like a Sunday drive kind of love. Not even what I had with my wife where we grew to love each other. No. What they had was the Romeo and Juliet kind. The crazy run-until-your-hair-falls-out-and-can’t-take-another-breath kind. But, he was already married and when Abigail got pregnant… Well. That is just not how it is done. Not back then and certainly not in this life. This family.”

He took a deep breath, and Lilly pushed the leftover peas around on her plate.

“So, she left, right? Went back to Ireland and met my stepfather.”

“No. I sent her away.”

“You?”

“Yep. I didn’t know shit. It was just the way it was done. I arranged for her to marry your stepfather. He was part of our family — the business family, you get that? — back there. Pregnant, unwed, Irish Catholic girl would not fare well on her own. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Mac’s eyes looked out the window at nothing.

“You were trying to take care of her.” Lilly reached over to put her hand on his as she saw his eyes glaze over.

“No.” Mac jerked his hand back to shove his plate to the center of the table. “I did what I thought I should do. I didn’t think about it, I just did it. Your father loved Abigail. He would have taken care of her, raised you. But, I was the one, I said no. He changed after that. Hardened into what you see now. Before, he had at least part of a heart. Not a great quality in our business, but nevertheless, it was just how he was wired. After that, he changed. He turned. It’s one of my biggest regrets. Sending her — both of you — away.”

“It’s okay. You did what you thought was best.”

“No, I did what was expected. That’s my point.” He slammed a flat hand down on the table and the china plates and flatware jumped and clanked. “You do what’s expected of you, you won’t be you anymore. You’ll change, too. You can’t live this life and get off scot-free. You have to decide, Lilly. Do you love him?”

“Who, Colin? No, of course not.”

“
NO
, Flynn.”

“I don’t know. Love’s not something I’m all that familiar with. Not something that seems worth the price.”

“Ahhh, shut up with that shit. You love him, I can see it. Something’s happened. I’m not going to die and leave another black mark on this family. I don’t have any power left, you know that. But, I have one thing. One thing I’ll give you and you have to decide how to use it.”

“What is that?”

“Follow me.”

With that, Mac spun his chair like a carnival ride, giving the young woman who’d just arrived to clear their plates a slap on the behind as he pulled away.

Chapter Twenty-One

“The meatballs stopped by.” Ana leaned against the edge of Lilly’s desk.

“Yeah? What did you tell them?” Lilly wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her lips to the side and thinking of the flask in the bottom of her purse.

“I
toooollldddd
them, that you were having some ‘female’ problems and you were in the ladies room.” Ana cracked a smile, proud of herself. “That sent them off like rockets. You’d think they’d never heard of a period before.”

“God, really? Did you really tell them that? I just used that on them too.” Lilly smiled at the young woman who was quickly becoming a force for good in her life.