Authors: Ally Derby
“That’s nasty, Lucia. You sure you’re clean? That could be considered a felony if you’re carrying around any STDs.”
“If you end up with one, you’ll know it came from me. No man wants in that nasty-ass thing.”
“I see you went to charm school between release and yet another arrest,” Red taunts her.
While the banter goes on and on, cursing, slamming nonstop, I am shocked that this guard, this woman, this adult, continues to taunt her. I even feel like she is deriving pleasure from it, and this revelation makes me even more anxious about where I am heading.
It has been a few years since Dad’s trouble when I prayed every night, but that is about to change. I wonder if God holds grudges against people who turn their back on him in anger. I hope not.
“Let’s go, Lucia,” the male guard says as he holds the door open.
“You doing my intake, Keller?”
“That’s Mr. Keller, Lucia, and no.”
“That’s too bad for you.” She smirks as she slides out. “Home sweet home.”
“But you fought like a crazed ape getting in here,” Red snaps at her.
“Yeah, well, it’s three hots and a cot.” Lucia rolls her eyes. “Four hots if you count Keller here. Huh, big guy?”
“That’s enough, Lucia,” he says as he takes her elbow and ushers her toward the large steel doors leading to the building labeled “Intake.”
“Let’s go, ladies,” Red, says as Seanna gets out. I hesitate. “Don’t pull it here, young lady. Did you not notice the gate we drove through, the one with razor wires on top? How far do you think you’d get?”
I don’t answer as I awkwardly slide out and nearly fall out of the van because I am unable to grab onto anything with my hands restrained. Red doesn’t even try to help, either.
We are ushered into a room where Lucia is on the floor. One grey uniformed guard has her arms wrenched behind her back, lying half over her, holding her down. Another has her arms wrapped around Lucia’s legs.
Over the screaming and obscenities, I hear Red whisper to another grey suit, “Lucifer has come back home.”
The woman chuckles, and I look toward Seanna. Her lower lip is quivering, and she is a mess. As a result, I hold up my hand in the universal hand sign of
okay
and give her a smile.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” My head snaps left to a tall, blond-haired man dressed in grey dress slacks and a white button down shirt with his arms crossed over his chest.
I shrug and shake my head. My words have not found their way back to me yet.
“Do you realize shooting up signs like that will get you a forty-five day extension?”
I look at him in confusion.
“Don’t play ignorant with me. So you’re a Blood? You a big gang banger? You—”
“You shittin’ me, Darrow?” Lucia, or Lucifer as they call her, laughs as she continues her struggle. “Casper the friendly ghost a Blood? And, dude, when the hell you gonna take enough cracker-ass nerd classes on street gangs to realize that was Crip?”
“Get her out of here!”
While the guards pull her up, her knees pull to her chest as she starts laughing hysterically and yells, “I’m back, bitches!”
A loud buzzer sounds, and the guards, one on each side of her, carry her through what appears to be a very heavy, steel door.
Darrow turns to Seanna and me, pointing to the doorway. “That is not acceptable here, but as you can see, we deal with what we have to.” His eyes sharpen as he looks at me. “You, Miss Asher, better thank your lucky stars that I am feeling generous today. Consider this your one and only warning. Gang activity holds severe consequences here. Next time you flash a gang sign, it extends you forty-five days.” He look away toward the guard, Red. “Since Lucia is back, you two will have to do intakes.” Then he turns and walks away.
Her sigh is exaggerated, “Let’s go, ladies.”
Seanna and I follow Keller through the same door they took Lucia through, into a wide hall. The floor is grey, black, and white speckled, and the walls white—well, what I can see of them with my eyes focused down on the large, black boots YDA Keller wears in front of me.
My anxiety is rising, and I wish someone would tell me something as we walk through what I assume is the cafeteria and turn down another hallway.
“Three new residents today, Margaret.”
“All right, one stays with me; one goes with you,” Margaret responds.
“I’m gonna take the feisty one first. She’s suicide watch. Make sure she doesn’t forget to tell you that. Let’s go, Hadley.”
I follow Keller down a narrow hall that is lit with florescent bulbs and has no natural light coming in. It reminds me of the police station, and I start to feel dizzy again. Regardless, I breathe deeply and will myself to move forward.
Keller stops at the door and turns around, “Gonna take off the restraints. You good?” he asks.
I nod.
“Okay, turn around, please.”
I do as I am asked, and Red squats down, then removes the shackles on my ankles. When she stands, Keller removes the wrist restraints.
“All right, time for the search and delouse,” Red says, waving her hand toward the door Keller is opening.
I stand in the middle of a locker-room-style bathroom that is stark white.
“Clothes off and in the bag,” she says as she hands me a garbage bag. When I don’t take it right away, she shakes her head. “No extra staff today. If you fight me, we will get you stripped, deloused, showered, and in your uniform, so I suggest you do as you’re told, ‘cause in here, we can do it the hard way or the easy way.”
I swallow hard and look up at her, “I don’t have lice.”
“It’s policy and procedure. Rules are to be followed. We’ll drill that into your head.”
“Do you think it’s okay to treat people like that? Do you think—”
“Keller,” she yells to the door, “looks like I’m gonna need your help in here.”
“No, no, you don’t. I want a lawyer. I have rights! I—”
Keller walks in, looking angry. “Clothes in the bag, now.”
“I will not. I will—
He pushes a button on his radio.
Over the PA, I hear, “Response team red to Medical Center Intake. Response team red to Medical Center Intake.”
In seconds, Keller has my arms linked behind my back, and I struggle to pull away.
“The more you fight, the worse it’s gonna be. This did not have to go down like this,” he hisses, “Could have done this yourself, dammit.”
My sandals are yanked from my feet, and then I kick at Red while she reaches for the buttons on my pants. Keller’s leg hooks around me from behind, capturing my legs as I continue to fight. He is too strong, but I don’t care. Never in my life have I been so afraid.
In one quick yank, my pants and underwear are at my knees, and two grey suits run in, grab my legs and hold them still as Keller unhooks his leg from around mine. Then my pants are pulled off by Red and the others.
“You gonna stop this, kid, and do it yourself? Or do we need to continue this fight?” he hisses in my ear.
“Screw you,” I cry, “you sick sons of bitches!”
Once I am pushed into the wall in front of me, the two guards take my arms from him and hold them up above my head. I feel my shirt lift, and my sports bra is pulled up, as well.
I try with everything I have to pull away. “No! No, no, no!” I scream, but my plea for help goes unnoticed as I am stripped bare in front of four complete strangers, one who is male.
“You got this?” Keller growls.
“Yep,” I hear one say.
I look to my left as he heads out the door.
“Miss Asher—”
“Leave me alone!”
“We would love to. Listen to me. This has to happen. There’s nothing we can do about it. We will make this as fast as we can, but the harder you fight, the less comfortable it’s going to be for all of us.”
“I’m the one being abused! I’m the only one uncomfortable! Call me a damn lawyer! This is—”
I feel my arms being yanked behind me again, and then I hear water running.
“Last chance to do this on your own, kid. For God’s sake, make the right choice, or we will be forced to wash and delouse you. Please do the right thing.” Whoever the woman instructing me is, she seems to have emotions, but right now, I couldn’t care less.
“Go to hell,” I snap at her.
I am pushed under the running water of an open shower while my arms are hooked up behind my back.
“Damn, kid,” Red snaps as she situates herself in front of me and holds up a container. “This lotion has to be put everywhere you have hair. Then it has to sit for ten minutes before it’s washed off. Is that something you want me to do?”
“Get away from—” I stop when she pulls on a pair of rubber gloves and begins to dump the bottle labeled ‘RID’ into her gloved hand.
Suddenly, I know there is no way in hell I am going to win. Three to one is not good odds.
“I’ll do it!” I say as the water turns off, and she steps toward me.
Once my hair and body hair are covered, I stand, shivering, still wet in the stall with three women—Red, a blonde woman, and an African-American woman.
The African-American woman is not wearing a uniform. She has dreadlocks; small, circular glasses; and she looks less angry than the other two, who are soaking wet.
After the ten minutes is up, the water begins again, and I am allowed to rinse. Then I am made to squat and cough, turn around, bend over, and spread my butt cheeks because they are looking for weapons or paraphernalia that are not allowed in the facility.
I am in hell, and there is no forgiveness for sins, whether they are yours or not. No one here believes me; no one at school believes me. However, I know my parents question what happened, and I know they will do whatever they can to get me out of here.
But will they be able to?
The woman with dreads hands me two towels. “Mrs. Redder and Ms. Timms are going to give you some clothes, then bring you to my office. I am Mrs. Keller, your YDC, or Youth Division Counselor. You and I are going to sit down and have a talk.”
I say nothing.
“Hadley, do you understand?”
I nod.
“Mrs. Redder, when you are done, we have two more for transport. Rodney is getting the information.” Then she leaves.
“Busy day today,” Red, or Mrs. Redder, says to Ms. Timms.
Ms. Timms walks to a closet and opens it with the keys hanging from the orange spiral wristlet. “You a medium or small?”
“Medium,” I answer quietly.
“Aw, now she speaks.” Red laughs.
“Well, I’m wrapped in a towel, freezing, and after being stripped down and forced into a shower, then being watched by three people, I want clothes.”
“Your choice—”
“Choice?” I say as I feel emotions build again.
“We all have them—”
“I choose to leave, then.”
“A smart mouth and crappy attitude will get you nowhere, young lady,” she snaps at me.
Unable to contain myself, I retort, “Seems to have landed you a job here.”
She glares at me, and I hold her stare.
“You are in for one hell of a rude awakening.”
“Mrs. Redder, I have this.”
“Excuse me,” she says to Timms.
“You have transports, and Margaret is down the hall.”
“There are rules here,” Redder reminds her.
Timms looks at me, “Here you go: underwear, bra, shirt, pants, and we seem to be out of socks, so shower shoes until we get you socks and shoes.” She looks at Redder. “When she is dressed, I’ve got it.”
“But—” Redder starts.
“I know the rules. She and I will be fine. Netta is seeing her next, so she obviously believes she is calm enough to sit and talk. Besides, you are needed for transport.” The way she talks to Redder is professional and calm.
I dress quickly while Ms. Timms stands in the doorway, giving me some privacy. The sooner I get away from Redder and get to this Netta Keller, the sooner I get out. I hope so, anyway.
Once dressed, I clear my throat.
Ms. Timms turns back and looks at me, “You ready?”
I nod.
“There are a lot of rules here, not all that you’ll like,” she says, as she motions for me to follow her. “They are all necessary for the safety and security of the residents and staff here, though.” She stops as we walk into the medical center, and I see Seanna sitting in a chair, covering her eyes. “Margaret, Netta wants to see Hadley. You need her for anything right now?”
“Just the PPD test,” she says as she unlocks a cabinet. “Pull your sleeve up,” she instructs. “This is used to test if you have been exposed to tuberculosis.”
I see her drawing medicine from a glass tube into a syringe. I hate shots, hate them.
Ms. Timms looks at me. “Isn’t bad, I promise. Just goes under the skin. She marks it with a marker and checks it to see the results in a day. Again, it’s for the safety of all residents and staff.