Put on Your Crown (2 page)

I’ve been privileged enough to meet some amazing people and live out some incredible experiences that have opened my mind
to possibilities I would never have imagined otherwise. It’s helped me live my life unafraid. I pursue my passions by jumping
in headfirst. Sometimes I fail. Occasionally I get distracted. But I never regret trying because I have too much fun on the
journey. I have no idea what’s next for me, but I take joy in the fact that there are no limits.

I’m going to keep it real with you. Yeah, I’ve got wealth, and that eases the way on many levels, but don’t let that be your
excuse to dismiss what you read on these next pages. I take pride in being Everywoman. I have down-home values. When I’m at
her house, my mom makes me take out the garbage just like everybody else in the family. I surround myself with the people
I grew up with—
real people
—and they keep me grounded. Unless I’ve got something I have to promote for my business, I don’t need to be at every A-list
party. I relate more to you than most people I meet in Hollywood. Fame doesn’t impress me. It’s the regular girls and boys
who make up my crew.

On these next pages, I’m going to share with you some of the life-stopping moments that shaped who I am today. Think of this
book as an intimate conversation with Latifah, your older sister and friend. I’ve been out in the world, and now I’m coming
back to sit with you and tell you about my experiences and let you know what I learned from them. Sometimes it’s me talking,
and sometimes it’s other, wiser people speaking through me. I’ll spill all that I can on these pages. I just have one request:
Don’t take my stories as blueprints. Instead, treat them as guideposts on your individual path to queendom.

The rest is up to you. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest and most important things you’ll ever accomplish in
your lifetime. Self-esteem is a real skill that we’ve got to master if
we
want to blossom into our full, beautiful potential. Whether you are black, white, young, old, glitzy, plain, skinny, thick,
shy, or some wild thing, you need to put on your own crown because you, like me, are nothing less than royalty.

Inside every woman there’s a queen, and you owe it to her and to God to do everything in your power to live your most fulfilled
and happy life. Don’t let the moments pass you by. Let your inner queen’s voice come through loud and clear. Be strong, be
authentic, be you, and you’ll do her proud.

Love,

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

—W
INNIE-THE
-P
OOH

L
ooking up at that first mountain summit, more than four thousand feet in the air, I wasn’t sure I could make it. It was at
least fifteen miles, and the climb was steep. I’d never done a hike like that before. But there I was, with no choice but
to put one foot in front of the other, making sure I didn’t lose the fire trail and go wandering off in the wrong direction,
or worse, fall down the side of a cliff. It was seven a.m., I’d been up since five a.m. for a yoga class and a vegan breakfast,
and my first thought when I started that trail was, “We’re going over
that
?!”

This all started early in September 2001, when I booked myself into a hiking boot camp in Calabasas, California, because I
wanted to quit smoking. I picked up the habit when I was fourteen and managed to quit
a few times, but smoking has a tendency
to creep back into my life, especially when I’m working or stressing. A week in a healthy environment, doing nothing but hiking
and yoga, was my way of separating myself from cigarettes and going cold turkey. This retreat was just a house in the middle
of the woods. There were no stores around. There were no phones, except for a pay phone on the wall in case of an emergency.
We all slept under the same roof and shared meals at a communal table. It was a place where people came to get back to some
healthy living, lose weight, get in touch with nature, whatever it was. I just needed to be in an environment that was free
of distractions, where I could focus on something besides my crazy, hectic lifestyle.

We were expected to hike at least fifteen miles of mountain ranges a day for a week, and that first time out was intense.
I was out of shape and breathing hard. But as I continued to walk, I noticed something. I was feeling lighter. My mind was
clear of all thought except for the present moment. I didn’t have time to think about all the problems in my life. Or anything
else. I was just concentrating on my feet, trying not to trip on a tree root while observing the view, breathing in the cedar-scented
air, and enjoying the sights and sounds of the woods. I was back to the primal, the essence of surviving and getting to where
I was going.

Eventually, I made it to the top, and when I looked down at the valley below me and the deep blue of the Pacific Ocean in
the distance, I couldn’t believe how far I’d come. I felt so strong and powerful. I was so proud of what I’d accomplished.
I did it!

That night at dinner, the leaders of the hiking group went around the table and asked each of us to share a thought we had
from the day. Everyone had a little story to tell or an observation to make. But when they got around to me, the only thing
I could think of to say was this:

“I am stronger than I thought I was.”

I didn’t know I had it in me. There’s more to all of us than we realize. Life is so much bigger, grander, higher, and wider
than we allow ourselves to think. We’re capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to believe. Box some seemingly mousy
person into a corner and things will come out of her that you never would have imagined. If you push someone out of her comfort
zone, she might perform in a way that she never thought possible.

We’ve all got so much more potential in us than we are willing to explore. We’re all capable of second, third, and fourth
acts. We’re multidimensional beings, but we have a tendency to get trapped in a mind-set. We all deserve to get to that mountaintop
and several more besides. We should be climbing the whole
mountain range and enjoying the walk through all its peaks and valleys.
And we can, as long as we remember to get out of our own way.

At the end of another one of those hikes, the other boot camp guests and I ended up on the beach in Malibu. We were so happy
to be by the sea after several days in the woods, shut off in our own little enclosed world. I starting picking up rocks and
throwing them in the water. Then I saw this one stone and did a double take. On it was an image of a man standing tall with
one arm down by his waist and the other arm raised in the air with his hand clenched in a fist. It was a fist pump rock! I
am not making this up. I believe in miracles, but trust me, I am not one of these people who see images of the Virgin Mary
on a piece of toast! This was real. I showed it to the other people in the group, and they agreed—it was clearly a picture
of a guy going, “Yeah, I did it!” It was like the universe was sending me confirmation of the message I’d gotten out of that
week, and I was in a mental state where I was able to receive that message. In that moment, my mind was free of life’s clutter
and my eyes and ears were open to the signs. And guess what? Not only did I lose weight and improve my outlook, I quit smoking.
Of course, it all got undone when I got back to New York City two days before September 11. From my apartment across the river
in New Jersey I witnessed the attacks, and suddenly my world and everyone else’s had changed. Recividism bit me on the butt,
and I went back to my bad habits for comfort. I forgot my inner strength.

Whenever that happens, I pick up that fist pump rock and contemplate its message. It sits on the mantelpiece of my house in
Los Angeles, and every time I look at it, I remember what it’s like to feel like Superwoman.

We all need a little keepsake like that, especially these days. I know many of you are losing jobs or struggling to find work.
It’s tough for someone who has just faced a layoff. Millions of us are feeling lost right now. This is a scary time for a
lot of people. Their industries are dying. Men and women who worked in factories or at newspapers thought they’d have jobs
forever. What they thought they’d be doing until they retire may no longer be an option. There’s no such thing as job security
anymore. The film and music business are no different. People don’t realize that even if you make a lot of money, you can
lose it just as fast. Show business isn’t exactly a steady profession. One day you’re hot, and the next day you’re over. You
never know.

But that doesn’t mean it’s over. Remember:
You are stronger than you think
. You have to go past what you think you can do, and then you have to go in and dig up some things inside you. Shake some
stuff around. Take a personality quiz online. Tap into who you are as a person and then look around you. Go outside your comfort
zone to figure out what you want to try, and when you hit on something that you like, you’ll know it. When you’re not watching
the clock and you’re completely absorbed in it, you’ll know that’s something you can dedicate yourself to 100 percent. That’s
the difference between a job and a career.

We all have talents and passions that can lead us into a vocation of some kind. A good friend of mine once told me that she
didn’t have any talent. I said, “Girl, what are you talking about? Everyone has a talent of some kind. Talent isn’t just being
an artist. It can be anything. You’re just not seeing it yet.”

As a matter of fact, I saw what
her
talent was before she did. When she finished college she got a job managing a Foot Locker store, and she was considered to
be one of the best managers in the chain. I knew she was organized and reliable. She had a talent for follow-through. It was
the perfect solution. I couldn’t bring my business partner, Shakim Compere,
on tour because our business was growing and he
needed to stay behind at the office and run all our projects, so I asked her to come on the road with me as my business manager.
It took a little convincing. It takes courage to leave behind a steady paycheck and benefits to try out something new. But
this girl took that leap, and she proved to be a huge asset. She got the job done, and in this crazy business that’s a talent
to be highly prized.

When I was starting in the business, most people in our crew could rap or do something musical. But not Shakim. He can’t sing
a note, and if he tried, you would hear dogs howl. But for two years I watched him. He was the guy who’d leave a party early
if he had to go to work the next day. Everyone else would phone in sick or come in late. But he always showed up at wherever
he was supposed to be, on time. So when I started performing around the clubs, he was the guy I wanted to handle my business.
It’s not sexy to pick up your own money when you’ve finished performing at a club. I’d ask various people to do it for me.
Even Professor Griff of Public Enemy collected for me one time. But Sha was the most consistent and dogged about getting me
my envelope of cash, counting it to make sure it was all there, and delivering. He has the strength of character to step away
from the partying crowd, say no and stick to it, and tell people “Screw you” when necessary. Because of that, he has everyone’s
respect. No one messes with him.

At the time I made this decision, I was only seventeen, and Sha was eighteen. I don’t know how I had the wherewithal to know
at that age, but making him my partner was the smartest move I ever made. If I have a creative idea, he’ll find a way to make
it happen and blow it up even bigger than I could have imagined. He’s the entrepreneur and I’m the artist, but we cross in
the middle. Sha can be creative, too. When one of us comes up with an idea, we’ll have a brainstorming session. One of us
will say, “Hey, what about this,” or, “I bet we can do that,” and by the time we’ve finished we end up with a big ol’ layer
cake. Sha is brilliant at what he does. He has strength, determination, and intelligence, and he knows how to make the most
of both our talents. I always tell him that I’m the star out there, but he’s the star in the office. And if he didn’t have
the courage to tap into his skills, I wouldn’t have been able to tap into mine and be where I am today.