Puzzled to Death (40 page)

Read Puzzled to Death Online

Authors: Parnell Hall

All eyes were on the young widow as she made her way to the front and sat down.

“Also in the crowd I see Joey Vale. As Joey pointed out to all of us, he is every bit as interested in this matter as Mrs. Thornhill. Just because he does not have her vast resources, the death of his spouse is no less tragic, and the solution to the crime every bit as crucial. I am going to ask Joey Vale to come up here too.”

Joey Vale stood up. Though his flannel shirt was unbuttoned and his eyes were bloodshot red, he had at least shaved and combed his hair, a vast improvement from his previous appearance. His demeanor was also better. He made his way
to the front of the room, allowed himself to be offered a chair on the other side of Harvey Beerbaum.

“Good,” Cora Felton said. “So, there we have the two interested parties in the case. The third victim, Felicity Roth, alas, had no close living relatives. Her murder is nonetheless heinous, and her killer must be found.

“And how can we do that? Only by reviewing the evidence. The evidence and the suspects.

“Here is what we know.

“Judy Vale died first. Her death was shocking, brutal, tragic.

“And yet …

“When it happened, no one was surprised. Because everyone knew who killed her. Her husband, Joey Vale. He had a history of violence, she had a history of infidelity. A familiar pattern. He’d beat her up, she’d pay him back by sleeping around. Furious, he would beat her up again. And so on. It had been going on for ages. No one was surprised when Joey finally went too far.”

“Hey,” Joey Vale protested. “You got me up here for
this
?”

“Please,” Cora said. “I have to lay out all the facts and theories. That doesn’t mean they’re true.”

Cora turned back to face her rapt audience. “To continue, the case against Joey Vale looked rather bad. However, he had an alibi. At the time of the murder, he was at the Rainbow Room shooting pool. Was his alibi any good?” Cora waggled her hand. “Yes and no. It would have been possible for him to have left the Rainbow Room just long enough to commit the crime. Not likely, but possible. So Joey Vale’s alibi was not enough to rule him out.

“Which brings us to the murder of Mrs. Roth. Which clarifies things greatly.”

Cora pointed at Joey. “The murder of Mrs. Roth exonerated Joey Vale. He has a perfect alibi for it. Not like his alibi for the murder of his wife, an alibi that
appears
perfect. For the murder of Felicity Roth he has an alibi that
is
perfect. On the night Mrs. Roth was killed, Joey Vale was in jail. During the entire time that the murder could possibly have been committed. No tricks, no illusions, no ifs, ands, or buts. The facts are unequivocal. Joey Vale simply couldn’t have done it. He is not the killer.

“So who is?

“At this point, more suspects begin to appear. Mrs. Roth was seen at Fun Night talking to several people, including Paul Thornhill, Marty Haskel, and Billy Pickens. Which is very significant when you consider the location of her house and when you consider she was subsequently murdered. In all likelihood, Felicity Roth saw Judy Vale’s killer.

“So who was that killer?

“At this point, we don’t know.

“Now we must flash ahead to the murder of Paul Thornhill. Mrs. Roth talked to him at Fun Night. A significant fact. We knew it, but we ignored it. So, in a way, we are to blame. For it’s now obvious Felicity Roth spoke to Paul Thornhill because he knew something about Judy Vale’s death.”

Cora Felton spread her arms. “How is that possible? Judy Vale was killed a good three days before Paul Thornhill even came to town. What is it he could have known?

“And what of Marty Haskel? Felicity Roth spoke to
him too. Does that mean
he
knew something of Judy Vale’s death? And, if so, why isn’t he dead?

“Or Billy Pickens, for that matter?”

Cora smiled. “To get at the truth, I decided to work backwards. I said to myself, never mind who wanted to kill Judy Vale, let’s see who wanted to kill Paul Thornhill.

“A surprising number of people had motives.”

Cora pointed to the TV cameras in the back of the room. “Thanks to Harvey Beerbaum, the winner of this tournament will be profiled on television.

“Would a person kill for fifteen minutes of fame?

“You bet.

“People have killed for a lot less.

“So who profits from Paul Thornhill’s demise? All the contestants who thought they couldn’t beat him in the finals. Or who were afraid they wouldn’t
get into
the finals.

“These include Ned Doowacker, Craig Carmichael, and Marty Haskel.

“Of the three, Marty Haskel would seem the best bet. Mrs. Roth talked to him at Fun Night. He hated Paul Thornhill. And he’s local. The other two weren’t even in town when Judy Vale was killed.

“And yet …

“Last September Harvey Beerbaum threw a barbecue. The celebrity contestants were all there. That night, some of them, including Paul Thornhill, Craig Carmichael, and Ned Doowacker, went out to the Rainbow Room.

“And met Judy Vale.

“Does that make them more suspicious than Marty Haskel?

“It might, except he was there too. And actually lost a game of pool to Paul Thornhill.

“With Judy Vale looking on.

“Reason enough for murder? Maybe not. But flash forward to the tournament planning meeting, when Harvey Beerbaum introduces his celebrity contestants. Paul Thornhill stands up and takes a bow. Marty Haskel is immediately on his feet, objecting to professionals competing in the tournament. And no sooner has he had his say but who should stand up and start shooting the tournament down but Judy Vale. The same attractive young woman who saw him lose to Paul in the Rainbow Room. And now she’s bad-mouthing the tournament. Suggesting it be shut down.

“Well, think how that sounds to Marty Haskel. He doesn’t want the professionals there, but if they are, he’s gonna do his best to beat ’em. But by God, he wants the chance. He doesn’t want some silly girl who has no personal interest in the tournament mucking things up on a whim. And in the normal course of events, she wouldn’t be a problem.

“Except something happens. Women picket the town hall, protesting the tournament. Marty Haskel is sure Judy Vale is behind it. She isn’t, it’s merely a coincidence, but Marty doesn’t know that. He’s furious, and he strikes.”

Marty Haskel, to his credit, heeding Cora’s earlier admonition to Joey Vale, glowered in silence.

“Which explains Mrs. Roth. She knows Marty’s the killer and confronts him at Fun Night.

“Bad move. Instead of dancing to her tune, Marty does her in.

“And why does he kill Paul Thornhill? He actually has
two motives. Paul Thornhill is the only celebrity contestant he can’t beat. He is in second place. By killing Paul Thornhill, he becomes number one.

“Or—and this is the theory I like—Paul Thornhill knew something about the first murder. And that is why he had to be eliminated.”

Cora smiled. “Case closed? Not yet. There are other suspects. Ned Doowacker was in fourth place, just missing the play-off. With Paul Thornhill dead, he is third. And he was jealous of the celebrity contestants, because he wasn’t chosen as one. He was also in the Rainbow Room and met Judy Vale.

“So did Craig Carmichael, who was in third place, but by a thin margin.

“Is there anyone else? Ah, yes. Zelda Zisk. She was not in the Rainbow Room that night, never met Judy Vale, and apparently had no connection with her whatsoever. In a mystery novel, this would make her the chief suspect.”

Cora took a breath.

“There is one more suspect.

“One more person who must be considered.

“The person who is always the first suspect when a married man is murdered.

“The spouse.

“The wife.

“Jessica Thornhill.”

Jessica Thornhill sprang from her seat. It occurred to Cora that if she was acting she was very good. The tears in her eyes were genuine. “Stop!” she cried, rushing to the microphone. “How can you do this to me?”

Cora caught her by the wrists, held her firm, pulled her up tight. “I have to,” she said. “Don’t you understand?
If you want your husband’s killer caught, I have to lay out the facts.”

Jessica sobbed, backed away, and subsided into her seat.

Cora clapped her hands. “Enough with the theories. It is time to name the killer. But first I want to show you the evidence that told me who the killer was.”

Cora reached into her drawstring purse, pulled out three sheets of paper. “Do you see these? They were found at the crime scenes. The police have been withholding them, hoping to trip the killer up with details of the murders only the killer would know. This is no longer necessary, since I know who the killer is.”

At the table Mrs. Thornhill had vacated earlier, Chief Harper looked ready to have a stroke. His face was bright red, and he was sputtering, as if having a hard time catching his breath.

“So what are these papers and why were they left? Well, if you were at Fun Night, you’ll be familiar with two of them.” Cora held one up. “Craig Carmichael’s puzzle,
Curious Canines
, was found on the body of Mrs. Roth.

“Paul Thornhill’s own puzzle,
Apologies
, was found on his body.” Cora held up the puzzle. Out of deference to Jessica, she didn’t add that it had been rolled up and stuck in his mouth.

Cora held up the third paper. “The puzzle found with Judy Vale is somewhat different. Here, take a look. It’s just some words that she doodled on a piece of paper. The key word is
lover
. The intersecting words are
Joey jealous, lights out
, and
or else
.

“You can see why this message immediately directed the police’s attention to two people, Judy Vale’s husband and her lover.

“Her husband was rather quickly cleared.

“Her lover was another question. Could he be guilty? If not,
what did the puzzle mean
?

“And here we have a problem. Judy Vale scribbled her puzzle herself. Mrs. Roth solved her puzzle herself. And who solved Paul Thornhill’s puzzle?”

Cora held it up, pointed to it.

“No one. This copy is solved, but the one on Paul Thornhill’s body wasn’t. It was a blank copy.

“But he did write it. It was his own puzzle. The one he composed for Fun Night. The question is, did the killer leave it for me, or did Paul Thornhill leave it for me, to tell me who killed him?”

Cora smiled. “I know. That’s a very stupid concept. But in point of fact, these puzzles are quite revealing. And one of them tells us who committed the crimes.

“How can we tell which one?” Cora beamed. “Fortunately, we have an expert in our midst. A linguistic genius. A man well-versed in every sort of puzzle. Harvey, would you step up here please?”

Harvey Beerbaum, completely taken aback, gawked at Cora with his mouth open. “I beg your pardon,” he sputtered. “What sort of nonsense is this?”

“Oh, come on, Harvey,” Cora said. “Don’t be so modest. Don’t hide your expertise.” Cora put her hand to the side of her mouth, in the gesture of one sharing a confidence, and said into the microphone: “Harvey and I have a little friendly wager going. He bet I couldn’t name the killer. If I can, he’s gonna do the commentary for the finals. If I can’t, we both are. Come on up here, Harvey.”

Harvey Beerbaum reluctantly and suspiciously got to his feet. “What’s the big idea?”

“Just what I said,” Cora told him. “Here’s the three puzzles. Or the two puzzles and the doodle, if you will. Here, take a look.

“First, we have the doodle by Judy Vale.

“And Craig Carmichael’s puzzle, solved by Felicity Roth.

“And Paul Thornhill’s puzzle, which had not been solved.”

CURIOUS CANINES
by Craig Carmichael

ACROSS
DOWN
1 Ways
1 Fake jewelry
6 Leers at
2 Genus of plant lice
11 B—F connection
3 Chaplin persona
14 Eliot’s cruelest month
4 Robbers’ roost
15 “Arthur” star
5 Congressman and Union army officer Henry Warner
16 Possessed
6 17th century card game
17 Sparring dog?
7 Not bad
19 Bullfight cheer
8 Bagels and___
20 Work record
9 Before (Arch.)
21 German field marshal Rommel
10 Most peaceful
23 Marry
11 Hungry dog?
24 Shore of TV fame
12 Surrealist Salvador
26 Arbiter
13 Paradise
27 Shoeless
18 Stinging insect
30 Fancy dude
22 English flyboys
33 Handwoven wall hanging
24 Risks
34 Tiny Tim’s instrument
25 Retirement funds
35 Fuss
27 Payoff
36 Most kempt
28 Edible pod
38 Gun club
29 Mets or Yankees
39 Sass
30 Fellas cohorts
40 Desert people
31 Change text
41 Cheese
32 Scoreless dog?
42 Work obstruction
33 Saying
44 Clothing chain
36 Carole King album
46 “Goodnight,___”
37 Persia, now
47 Most comfy (Var.)
41 Letter
51 Dames
43 Before, in prefixes
53 Memento
44 Leaves
54 Oil paintings
45 Feature
55 Fashionable dog?
47 Gives up
58 Expire
48 Consumed
59 Hindu princess
49 Angles
60 Detective’s finds (Var.)
50 Curt
61 Corn unit
51 Green gemstone
62 Affirmatives
52 Operatic solo
63 Present, for instance
53 Leg joint
 
56 Actress____ Dawn Chong
 
57 Printers’ measures

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