Queen of Broken Hearts (41 page)

“Auburn colors! The Webbs are big Auburn fans.” Lifting the sunglasses to my forehead for a clearer view, I see a woman on the deck and groan. “Oh, crap. That's not her. Guess I've gotten the wrong house.”

I scoot down in the seat and raise the binoculars for a closer look. When Lex snorts, I hiss, “Hush! You know how sound travels on the bay.” I adjust the lenses. “Definitely not her. This woman's about the same age as Wanda, but she's a brunette and a whole lot chunkier. Wait! A man's coming out to join her. Well, well. A pair of lovebirds.”

In spite of his derision, Lex gets into it, lowering himself beside me and taking the binoculars away from me to peer through them, almost choking me when the cord around my neck goes taut. “Pay dirt,” he says, passing the binoculars back. Seeing his expression, I raise the binoculars with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The man on the deck is Austin. Smiling, he comes up behind the woman in the Auburn sweatshirt, then lowers his head to her neck as she leans in to him sensuously, her chestnut-brown hair falling in a tumble over her face. I watch him turn her around to kiss her, pulling her close. I close my eyes and fumble with the binoculars, yanking them off and letting them fall with a clunk. When I'm able to speak, I say in a choked voice, “Get me out of here.”

Without a word, Lex raises the anchor, and a breeze fills the sails, lunging the boat forward. Once we are well out of sight of the blue house and Lex begins to lower the jib in order to motor in, I help him with jerky, awkward movements, blinded by the tears rolling down my frozen cheeks. I don't bother to wipe them away, and I don't look for the sunglasses I've discarded. When I start shaking uncontrollably in the stinging wind, Lex barks at me to take the wheel. Reaching into the storage bin, he pulls out the hooded sweatshirt, which he tries to drape over my shoulders. “You've got on so damn many clothes, even an XXL won't go around you,” he says. “Hang on, though, and I'll get you home faster than you can say ‘rotten cheating bastard.'”

In all our years in the house, I can count on one hand the number of times either Mack or I built a fire in the old fireplace in the living room. Lex has one going by the time I come downstairs. I numbly changed out of my salt-damp outdoor clothing and pulled on the warmest thing I could find, thick cotton socks and a fleece sweatsuit as spongy-soft as a worn blanket. Wondering if I'll ever be warm again, I sink in front of the roaring fire as though its flames can penetrate all the way to my heart, which sits in my chest like a heavy lump of ice.

Lex comes in from the kitchen carrying two coffee cups and hands me one before he settles himself beside me. “Latte,” he says. We've spoken two words since we left the boat: When we entered the house, he asked, “Firewood?” and I answered, “Basement.”

“The bay must have frozen my ears off,” I say. “Sounded like you said latte.”

“Taste it.”

I raise my head after a tentative sip of the best latte I've ever had. “You couldn't have made this.”

He ducks his dark head, pleased. “A trick I learned from a cook at the officer's club in the Philippines. Mix some brown sugar and cream together, whisk it around, then heat it up good. Pour strong coffee over it, and you've got a fake latte.”

“Full of surprises, aren't you?”

He watches me over the rim of his cup. “Guess you could say it's been a day of surprises.”

Placing the cup on the floor in front of me, I lower my face into my hands and rub my eyes. “God, I have to be the biggest fool on the planet.” I raise my head to stare at him wearily. “Matter of fact, I should turn in my license. How I could have been so stupid is beyond me. It's more than stupid, actually. It's irresponsible.”

Reaching over, he picks up my cup. “Drink it while it's hot. You need it.” Watching me until I raise the coffee to my lips, he tilts his head curiously. “It never occurred to you that Austin's sudden departure might have been brought about by a cheating heart, huh?”

I shake my head. “Not once. Jesus Christ. If Haley had been a client of mine, it would've been the first thing I'd thought of. It explains everything: his picking fights with Haley, becoming dissatisfied with everything she did, the sudden departure, everything. How could I have been so blind? All the classic signs were there, but I failed to see them. I mean it: After a blunder like this, I should turn in my credentials.”

“Position coming open at the marina if you're interested. Big shoes to fill, though.”

“I wouldn't hire me if I were you.”

We fall silent, and I turn my face toward the warmth of the fireplace. Greedy little fingers of fire grasp at the stack of logs, and I smile a bitter smile. “Get this. Just last night I called Haley to say I felt hopeful for the first time since Austin left, that I'd talked with him and he'd said he was having a difficult time. He told me that he was mixed up and confused, and I actually felt sorry for him. He said his head was all screwed up.”

Lex hoots. “He's confused, all right. But based on what we saw today, I'd say it was the other end.”

“Haley told me Austin had called her and said much the same, about being mixed up and not wanting to hurt her. She was so full of hope that I allowed myself to get hopeful, too. Matter of fact, that's the main reason I wanted to see the Webbs' place today, hoping I was wrong.”

We sit lost in our own thoughts, the fire crackling in front of us. Finally I say, “Tell me the truth, Lex. When I told you about Austin moving out, did you suspect another woman was involved?”

He blinks at me. “You're serious, right?” When I nod, he rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “Maybe you're right, Doctor Lady. Maybe you should turn in your badge. It was the first thing I thought of. No man I know would move out of his house and leave his kids because his wife's not much of a housekeeper. No way. That boy's got him a little tart somewhere, I thought. But you never mentioned it, so I figured you knew him better than me. Not only that, it's what you do for a living, right?”

“Thanks. I feel much better now.”

“Well, hell, don't ask me if you don't want to know. Here's what I think you should do.” Reaching beyond me, he selects a slender log from the stack he's piled beside the white marble fireplace. When he places it in my hands, I look at it blankly. “Use this to beat yourself up,” he says.

Before I can come up with a retort, the phone rings. I don't answer it, even after I hear Haley's voice on the machine. Or perhaps I let it go because of the sound of her voice, which is more upbeat than it's been lately.

“Hi, Mom, guess what? Wanda just left, and we had a really good visit. She brought us a casserole for supper and stayed almost all afternoon. Next time she sees Austin, she's promised to talk to him and see if she can find out what's going on, then let me know. She thinks he's just overworked and he'll come to his senses. I know you've been worried about me, but I just wanted to let you know that I feel a lot better now. I love you, Mom, and we'll talk later.”

I stare at Lex, and he scratches his head quizzically before saying, “Maybe this woman Wanda doesn't know what's going on.” I start to protest, and he holds up a hand. “Wait, now—think about it. She wasn't at her house this afternoon because she was at Haley's, right? Austin knew she'd be away, so he sneaked his sweetums in. That's possible, isn't it? Maybe loverboy has her fooled, too.”

It makes sense. “I hope you're right, but I'm pretty skeptical at this point.” I stretch out my hands to the fire and sigh. “Wonder if I'll ever get warm!”

With silent and efficient moves, Lex builds up the fire, and I smile at him gratefully when he finishes and dusts off his hands. “God, that feels wonderful. I never realized a fire could be so comforting. From now on I'll use the fireplace more.”

He nods, pleased. “A fire can make everything seem better.”

“Maybe I'm still cold because I'm in a state of shock. Guess I need some time to think about what we saw this afternoon and how it changes things.”

“Want me to leave so you can have some time alone?” When I hesitate, he adds, “Even though you promised me chili and corn bread if I'd freeze my ass off taking you out in the boat?”

“You liar! You told me you weren't cold.”

“Never told you I wasn't starving, though.”

“Tell you what—I'll get us a bowl of chili if we can eat it sitting on the floor in front of the fire.”

“Is there another way to eat chili?”

After supper and Zoe's brownies with more cups of latte—these heavily spiked with bourbon—Lex and I sit shoulder to shoulder on the rug in front of the fire, propped against the sofa with our legs stretched out in front of us. With a soft throw draped around me and my feet toasty, I've finally thawed out and am feeling full and drowsy. When I tell Lex, he grunts and says, “Before you go to sleep on me, tell me this. What you saw this afternoon, you plan on telling Haley?”

“I can't stand the thought, but I'll have to. The picture has changed considerably, and she has to know.” I rub my face. “It's going to kill her. It will absolutely kill her.”

“She's a fragile little thing, isn't she?”

I nod. “Always has been, but it's no wonder. She had such a hard start in life, and now this.”

“How do you think Mack would've handled it?”

I glance at him, surprised at the question. Leaning my head against the sofa, I consider it. “Well, first he would've gotten drunk, the way he dealt with everything. Then he would've wanted to kill Austin.”

“Just as I thought. Think that's primarily a male reaction?”

“Heavens, no. I've been fighting an uncontrollable desire to strangle Austin myself.”

“What do you think are that boy's chances of keeping his pecker attached to his body once Swamp Woman finds out about the girlfriend?”

“Somewhere between zero and zilch?” I answer with a smile.

“I don't know what I'd do if this happened to Alexia, tell you the truth. It scares me to think about it. Somebody hurt her like that, I'd probably murder him with my bare hands.” He holds out his large callused hands and studies them, frowning, as though considering the likelihood of such a thing.

“Here's where the rage comes from. It's not the cheating as much as it is the lies and the denial of responsibility. Austin has made Haley feel so bad about herself, and she's full of guilt over having failed him. Why didn't he have the guts to tell her the truth? To tell her that he's gotten involved with someone else? Instead, the little shit tries to justify his dalliance by shifting the blame to her. Which isn't uncommon, by the way. Far from it, I'm afraid. It would make a big difference if he were strong enough to confront his own shortcomings instead of blaming her for them. Haley would still suffer, of course. But pain is one thing and guilt another. Pain can be a clean wound unless it's infected with the poison of guilt.”

After a long silence, Lex says, “I know what you mean about guilt. I feel so damn guilty about Alexia, it's driving me batty. Lot of times I can't even think about her, it hurts so bad. Gets so I don't return her calls, which makes me feel even worse.”

I hold my breath, sensing I'm about to hear what's been going on with him after this long period of silence. Staring into the fire, he continues, “She's pissed off with me now, you know.”

“Because you didn't go with them to take her back to school?”

“Yawp. But it's more than that. It's because I haven't moved back to Elinor's place. When Alexia calls and I answer the phone at my place, it makes her mad as hell. ‘Thought you'd be living at Mom's house by now,' she'll say.”

“So Elinor's asked you to move back?”

He shrugs it off. “Not really. When Alexia was here during the holidays and I was over at Elinor's, it'd piss Alexia off when I'd go back to the marina. ‘Why're you going to that cramped little place of yours when we've got so much room here?' she'd ask me. Elinor would chime in then, the two of them ganging up on me.” He picks up the fire iron and pokes at the fire absently. “Damn if I know what to do. You know it about killed me when Elinor filed for divorce. But now it's like she doesn't want me, not really, she just doesn't want anybody else to have me. Crazy, huh?”

“It's not crazy at all. I see it all the time.”

“Here's what happens. Elinor and I get together, like over the holidays, and everything will be great. We'll be getting along like we did when we first met, you know? But first time things don't go her way, she'll start that crap again, about how I'm not her type and she doesn't know why she puts up with me. So I blow my stack and stomp out, tell her to go to hell. Next thing I know, she's coming over to say she's sorry, that she didn't mean it. I don't know how much longer I can keep playing her mind games.”

“It's more complicated than it sounds. My guess is, Elinor loves you in spite of herself. She has a certain image of herself, and with that goes the image of the kind of man she always thought she'd marry. But fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, she fell in love with you.” When he snorts, I hold up my hand and continue. “But what you've got to ask yourself at some point is, what are
you
getting out of this?”