Queer (13 page)

• Movies. While this can seem like a cliché, movies are a popular date activity for a reason. They give you something to focus on other than each other and something to talk about when they're over.
  
• An activity you both enjoy. Try skateboarding, video games, Dance Dance Revolution at the arcade, a bike ride, or a play.
  
• A gay-friendly spot for coffee or an underage club for live bands.
  
• Something chill, like hanging out in the park to watch the sunset or walking around downtown or at the mall.
  

There are also places you might want to avoid on a first date, such as a school dance or function or anywhere you know a lot of your friends will be. You want to make sure you get face time with your date without all your girls/boys around, making fools of themselves.

It's always flattering to find out that someone's interested in you. Often it's a complete surprise and you're totally caught off guard. Here you are, working together on a PowerPoint presentation for your US government class, and suddenly Shawn the Jock is asking you to the beach next weekend. Whoa. It can be tempting to freak out, but stay cool and assess the situation. Don't play games. If you're interested, just say yes. Making someone chase you just because you want attention is lame, and he might lose interest. If you're not sure whether you like him, give him a shot. Remember, it took a lot of guts for him to approach you. Hanging out for an hour or two may reveal a side of him you never knew existed. If you agree to something simple and not too time-consuming, you don't have much to lose.

Of course, if the person is totally not attractive to you or, worse, creeps you out, you really should say no. It's not nice to lead someone on whom you have no interest in, or who is creepy or weird. The best thing to do is to tell him that you appreciate the offer but would rather just be friends. Sure, it's hard to say that to someone—you know it would suck to hear it yourself—but what are the alternatives? Saying you're busy or have other plans? Telling a little white lie may seem like an easy way out, but it also leaves him an opening to ask you out again—not to mention the possibility that he might catch you in a fib. And if you overreact and act mean just to make sure the message gets across, then you deprive yourself of a queer ally and potential source of support.

So you finally scored a date with that hottie you've been crushing on for months. Whew! Give yourself a 10 out of 10 for guts, poise, and grace. Getting to this point was hard enough; you don't want to screw it up now. Here are some pointers that will help you score a second date (if you decide that your date is worthy of your fine self, of course).

• Keep it short.
  This is a first date, not the Ironman triathlon. Go for coffee, ice cream, or a burrito. This way, if things don't go well, you're not stuck all day or night with a boring date. And if things do go well, you'll leave your date wanting more.
  
• Don't advertise.
  Don't blab all over your digital space or tell everyone within earshot about your upcoming date. And do not change your profile status or send out constant updates about your progress, even If you're happier than a Trekkie at a sci-fi convention. Word could get back to him pretty easily and put a lot of pressure on the date. Plus, it's, um, kind of immature.