Questing Sucks! Book II (56 page)

The same fear was reflected in Patrick. The prince bent his knees as if trying to bring them just an inch or two closer to the center of his body; it was as though he thought doing so would prevent him from clipping them against the sides of one of the tower-like buildings, which would likely result in him losing a leg or two.

Once they were just several feet from touching down, the gryphon’s wings expanded even more widely, and then, with an unexpected abruptness, they went from soaring forward to a complete midair halt. Cah’lia was not quite thrown, but she did find herself shoved forward a bit. She leaned against the Champion to steady herself.

A few seconds went by, during which Cah’lia held her breath. Then, letting it out in a sigh, she tried to inhale a fresh gulp of air, but she ended up gasping as, with a startling, uncomfortable bump, the gryphon descended the last few feet onto something that was circular and made of a black, sponge-like material. Cah’lia assumed it was a landing pad of some sort. At the same time, she also realized she was in a small, rectangular, and open area that almost seemed hidden amid the larger, view-consuming structures surrounding it. It explained why she hadn’t seen it until just then.

“Were you frightened?” Orellia asked.

Cah’lia laughed. “Very. I didn’t see where we were meant to land. I thought we were going to dive-bomb directly into something.”

“Everyone does their first time. It’s not easy to spot this place from the air. At any rate, we’re here.”

Before getting off the gryphon, Cah’lia took a few moments to survey her surroundings. Directly to both her left and right side were more of these landing pads. Ahead was a small but open area with a paved pathway constructed from a smooth, polished stone that seemed to cast a mysterious reflective glow. Further beyond this were six separate archways that all appeared to lead to the same place on the other side. There was a sign atop each that read something in a language Cah’lia didn’t know, and the writing was unfamiliar to her.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“Landing Dock H,” Orellia said. “Through those archways is the beginning of the city center. It’s the most important hub in Magia. When this is over, I’ll give you a tour. There’s lots to see.”

“We should get going,” Iona said. “The resistance is already formed and waiting for us nearby. We’re all going to storm the hall together.”

“Together?” Patrick asked. Kellar frowned, as did Shina, who was removing her antistatic rubber gloves. “I thought the plan was to distract Archmage Duncan while a small group of us went inside and opened the rift.”

“It was,” Iona said, “but something changed on the way over here, and I realized we’ve got an even better opportunity now.”

“An opportunity to do
what
?”

“You’ll see.”

“No, I’d like to be informed right now, actually.”

“I can’t explain it.”

“Why?”

“Patrick,” Orellia whispered. “You need to—”

Patrick held out his hand at her then continued to address Iona. “I agreed to come along, but I did so under the plan that you outlined for us back in Hahl. Why are we changing things so suddenly?”

“Please,” Iona said. “If you would
just
follow me and Benjamin, it would all make sense to you once we take you to our allies, as they can better explain. Look, do you want to rescue your friends or not?”

Patrick grunted something indiscernible but ended up waving his hand at her and releasing a sigh. “Fine. Lead the way.”

Cah’lia said nothing, as she didn’t want to second-guess these two while they were putting so much on the line to help her. Still, it was a real challenge to hide her displeasure at the way Iona and Benjamin had decided to change the plan this late in the game—and without any warning or discussion, either.

Truthfully, it didn’t matter to Cah’lia who attacked what and where, who stayed behind, and which mage opened the rift. If it gave her an opportunity to fight her way to Sehn, she would make the best of it. The only real cause for concern was whether or not such a drastic change in things could endanger their chance of success.

“How far do we have to travel to reach your friends?” Cah’lia asked.

“Not far at all,” Iona said. “In fact, they should be just down the first avenue that we’ll enter once we leave the landing dock. Now, come, please. Time is short.”

Cah’lia looked at Patrick, and the two of them shrugged. Then they followed after Iona while she made her way towards the second archway from the left and strolled through it. Hopefully, a force strong enough to either kill or distract Archmage Duncan would be waiting for them on the other side.

“Okay, you’ve had your laugh, my good elf, but please, can you stop this now?”

Archmage Bennet’s face was red, and his lips were quivering. His foolish minion, David, also shared in his fury. Sehn knew this because the summoned loser was gripping for the sword that was no longer in its sheath, as Sehn had stolen it from him some time ago. Even though a week or so had passed, he still occasionally seemed to forget it was gone.

“This is not a joke! You have had your fun, good elf, now
please
, enough of this.”

“I agree,” Issius said. “This is not why we taught you this power. It is not…should
never
be used to create such…such vulgar, disgusting parodies of life.”

Sehn could not respond to either of them, because his laughter had still not subsided enough to let him speak. In front of him were two Archmages, and both were Archmage Bennet. One, of course, was the real Archmage Bennet, and Gods he was pissed off. The other Archmage Bennet was a copy that Sehn had conjured as his first successful lesser summon. It had required hours to create thanks to the anti-magical nature of the place. But it had been worth it. In fact, even months—no,
years
of effort would have been worth it for the horrified look on the real Archmage Bennet’s face.

Using his new power, Sehn had summoned a naked man whose face was identical to Bennet’s. Only, when Sehn had fashioned it in his mind, he had created this “lesser summon” to be just a little bit ‘different’ from the man he had based it on, so that while the two shared the same face, they were not quite the same in…other ways.

This version of the Archmage was wrinklier, a great deal chubbier, and between his legs was a penis roughly the size of a mosquito bite. And just like Sehn had been told would be the case, it turned out that he could “program” his summon to perform a set of simple, repeatable tasks. That was why, again and again, the old, naked, and wrinkly version of Bennet jumped up and down, patting his head with his right hand while rubbing his flabby bare stomach with the other, and all while repeating the same few words time and time again.

“I smell of ass!” the summoned creation said. “Sehn is superior to me in all ways.” Without stopping, it repeated these words as it continued to bounce up and down. “I smell of ass! Sehn is superior to me in all ways. I bathe in toilet water. I am Archmage Bennet. I smell of ass! Sehn is superior to me in all ways.”

“Get rid of it!” David shouted. “My dad does not deserve to be mocked and degraded this way.”

“Sehn is a meanie!” Estelle yelled, buzzing around his ears as though doing so just for the purpose of annoying him. He tried to swat her away, but her reflexes were too good and she flew too fast.

“Gah, cease this!” Sehn demanded, continually trying to grab Estelle as she buzzed back and forth between his left and right ear. “Why are you defending him, anyway? Didn’t he and his ‘greater’ summon make you cry?”

“So?” Estelle asked. “Revenge is
bad
! I’m a good pixie, and I don’t like to get revenge on people, nope-nope!”

Sehn didn’t care what Estelle thought. He roared with laughter as his creation, completely by accident, lost its right leg, though it was likely due to the anti-magic weakening it. The entire limb simply vanished in a puff of purple smoke. Amazingly, this did not stop it from competently obeying Sehn’s orders. Now, it hopped on one foot, continuing to praise Sehn while also insulting Bennet and his stench.

The sight of this touched Sehn’s heart. In fact, had he been even one percent less Godly, it might very well have moved him to tears—because
this
was how things should have been
all
the time.
This
was how all beings should behave. Even after losing a leg, his noble lesser summon still continued to proudly declare
its
God-King, Sehn, the greatest. It was an example that all living creatures should learn from.

“Oh, dear,” Issius whispered after yet another unexpected thing happened.

Sehn nearly laughed himself off his own two feet as the summoned version of Archmage Bennet experienced yet another malfunction. This time, its tiny little manhood fell off its body like a bead of sweat, vanishing into an equally small puff of smoke on the red sand.

“Bahahaha! Look, Bennet. Look at how the Great Sehn has humiliated you!”

Nero chuckled as well, which Rina didn’t seem to appreciate. “Nero!” she hissed at him. “Rina will tell Cah’lia if you do not stop laughing at the poor Archmage man. This is immature and not funny.”

“Sorry,” he said, covering his mouth.

Seeing this, Sehn’s own laughter came to an end, and he spun around to face his apprentice. “Nero!” he shouted. “Continue your laughter immediately. How dare
you commit such an affront against me, boy? Resume your laughter this very moment or face imminent destruction.”

Nero shifted his eyes between Rina and Sehn. Confusion popped up on his face while he took in each of them. “I don’t know what to do,” he said after a short pause.

“Yes Nero does,” Rina insisted. “Nero knows that Rina will tell on him if he doesn’t stop. And Rina will also get Sehn in trouble for misusing magic, because she will make sure Cah’lia knows everything.”

Sehn glared at her. “You wouldn’t
dare
.”

“Yea-huh, Rina would!”

Sehn showed her his teeth. “Curse you, Rina. Do not think you can boss me around like you’re some kind of mini Cah’lia. Threaten me this way again, and you will not be leaving this place alive.”

“Ah, speaking of leaving this place,” Issius said. He cleared his throat then stepped forward, placing an arm on Archmage Bennet’s shoulder as if to diffuse some of the tension. “What do you all say we finally make our way out of here? Would you like to return to the real world, Sehn?”

This was an easy question. “Of course I would,” he said. “I’m sick of this boring hell.”

“Then, respectfully, I ask you to please stop fooling around. There’s no longer any time to waste. You’ve learned as much as we can teach you in the time we had. The only thing we still need to show you is how to open the rift leading back to the outside world.”

Sehn lifted his chin and grinned. “Very well. Get on with it, then. Show me this new power.”

“You’re ready to begin now?”

“Of course I’m ready. I grow tired of you asking me that every time I learn something.”

“It’s just that this might be your last chance to rest. Once we step outside, there’s no telling what or who we’ll face. As soon as Archmage Duncan discovers we’ve escaped, he will either try to kill us or send us back here.”

Sehn did not answer him. He instead gave a look that he hoped would clearly communicate how much pain Issius was about to find himself in if he continued to pester Sehn about “resting” and “relaxing.” Honestly, the man was acting like he was some kind of fucking Archmommy. Did he also want to ensure Sehn ate his vegetables and got eight hours of rest each night?

“Okay,” Issius said. “I can see you’re a bit…testy. So be it. Here’s what you need to know if you want to get us out of here.”

As Issius began to explain, Sehn felt a shiver run down his spine. Immediately, he felt his heart begin to beat faster and his ears ring. Then it stopped—all of it, lasting no more than a second or two from beginning to end. His heart slowed, the ringing subsided, and there were no more shivers. Sehn looked off into the distance, momentarily ignoring Issius, letting his mind wander.

What just happened to me
?
What was that
?

He didn’t know if the strange sensation was a cause for concern. Yet the way it lingered in the back of his head made him feel uneasy and nervous. It was a sense of urgency he’d felt before. Only, during those few times, it had come on far stronger and had given him an unmistakable sense of purpose.
This time, however, he could not even be sure that the sensation was anything other than a mere bodily function.