Quite an Undertaking - Devon's Story (20 page)

For a split second I didn’t realize she was simply translating the song title. I thought she was telling me not to give up on her. I mentally rolled my stupid eyes at my stupid self.

Rebecca looked down at the bag in my hand. “Are you ever going to open that?”

I couldn’t believe I had forgotten. With Rebecca so close to me, nothing else had mattered. I kept the bag under my desk, so Mme Depardieu wouldn’t see and pulled the box out. The other students in the class were making enough noise so that the crinkling of the bag wasn’t that noticeable. My hands shook as I opened the top flap of the box. I held my breath and pulled out a glistening snow globe.

“How did you—”

“I wanted to get you something to remind you of your grandmother.”

“How did you know she liked snow globes?”

“You told me.”

“I did?”

She nodded. “That time I took you to see her at Greystone, you were upset because you hadn’t brought anything.”

“And I mentioned snow globes. Yeah, I remember that. Barely.”
Barely because all I could think of was being alone with you.

I shook the glass ball and watched as the snow settled over a snow-covered cottage surrounded by trees. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed not to get choked up.

“Thank you.” I smiled at her.

She beamed. “I should be the one thanking you. I’ve been kind of…not here, lately, and I haven’t been a very good friend to you. Then you brought me all those stuffed animals, and I think you helped me figure some stuff out.”

“Like what?”

She pressed her lips together and looked as if she wanted to tell me something, something important, but she just shook her head and looked away. I didn’t ask again because I think she started to cry a little.

I gently placed the snow globe back in its box and into the white bag. I reached into my backpack and pulled out the skunk. Rebecca was still lost in thought and didn’t see me move the stinky little thing under my desk toward her. I placed the skunk in her hand and startled her back to the present.

“Another one? How many of these do you have?”

“That’s the last one, I swear, but I was late today.”

“Oh, Devon.
Merci. Il est très mignon
. You’re very sweet.”

She reached over for a hug, and I almost melted into my plastic chair. I knew I must be blushing furiously. Skunk day was turning out to be an excellent day, not stinky at all.

Rebecca sighed and cuddled the skunk. “I’ve been so out of it. I hope you don’t hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?” There was no chance in heck that I’d ever hate her. Oh, no.

She just shrugged, so I sent her my most reassuring smile.

I said, “I’ve been counting the days to your dance concert, too.”
Oh, God. I actually said that out loud, didn’t I? What a dork.

“On Friday?”

“Friday and Saturday, probably.” I only had to get through two more days, and then it would finally be the Friday I’d been waiting for since forever.

Whatever had made her teary-eyed before seemed to be gone from her mind because she was smiling again. It was the same smile she’d given me when I’d walked into the classroom earlier.

The bell rang to end the period, and Rebecca got up quickly. She said she didn’t want to be rude, but she had to hurry to get to her dress rehearsal in the auditorium.

“See you tomorrow.” I shook the bag with the snow globe in it. Something had clearly turned around in Rebecca’s mind to make her talk to me again.

THE AUDITORIUM WAS absolutely packed for the Friday night dance concert. Most of the students sat in the back because parents and regular people from town took the seats in front. I had even seen a St. Lawrence County senior citizen bus in the parking lot as my mom dropped me and Gail off.

I tried to hide my excitement as we searched for seats. Gail saw some friends from school and wanted to sit with them way in the back, and normally I wouldn’t have cared, but this time I did care. I wanted to be able to see Rebecca close up, and nothing and no one was going to stop me from that goal. Gail took the hint when I suggested we sit near the front.

We found seats three rows away from the stage and the closed velvet curtains. As I sat down, I felt myself trembling. I couldn’t imagine what would happen when those mammoth curtains opened up, and Rebecca came out.

“Hey,” Gail opened her program, “if this sucks, can we leave at half-time?”

“I think it’s called intermission, and no, we’re not leaving because it’s not going to suck.”

“Why are we here?” She put the program down in her lap.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. “Because I need to show you something.”

“Show me what?” The look on her face told me she was very lost.

“I want to show you,” I leaned closer and said low, “who I like.”

Her eyes shot open wide. “Really?” She sounded as if I’d just told her she’d won a car.

I laughed. “Don’t go crazy about this, okay? Please?”

“Okay, okay.” She nodded in agreement. “This is so exciting.”

“I know.” We giggled like two little kids.

She picked up her program and turned to the page with the dancers’ names. “Which one is she?”

I pointed to Rebecca’s name at the bottom of the program. “Right there.”

“Rebecca Washington. Never heard of her,” Gail said way too loudly.

“Shhh, not so loud,” I whispered.

“What?” Gail looked around. “I just said a name. No biggie.”

I glared at her with wide eyes as if to tell her that it was a “biggie.”

“Okay, okay.” She put her hands up in defense. “I’m cool. I don’t know her, do I?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe not.”

A hush fell over the audience as Ms. Adams, Rebecca’s dance teacher, stepped onto the stage. She was only in her twenties, but she looked really sophisticated with a swirling black skirt and low-cut red top. She had her dark hair piled up on her head. It wasn’t a beehive or anything weird like that, it was just elegant. I never realized how pretty Ms. Adams was. When everybody started clapping, Gail and I did, too.

Ms. Adams tapped the cordless microphone in her hand. “Thank you all for coming tonight. The dance troupe has been working hard this semester to bring you their interpretation of A Night without Bound. Refreshments will be served at intermission, and you are welcome to enjoy them in the lobby at that time.” She looked up to the lighting booth and nodded. “Okay, it seems like we’re ready. Again, thank you all for coming, and please enjoy A Night without Bound.”

The audience clapped again, and I held my breath as the curtains opened. The first number included the entire ensemble. That’s what Rebecca called the whole group—an ensemble.

My heart almost stopped when I saw her glide across the stage to the music. She wore a salmon-colored outfit, a little revealing, but she looked like a professional dancer. I felt my cheeks get warm as I watched her lithe body move. She simply floated, there was no other way to describe it.

“Which one is she?” a voice asked in my ear.

I almost swatted Gail away like an annoying gnat, but I caught myself in time. I didn’t want to tear my eyes away from Rebecca, but I was the one who had invited Gail to come in the first place.

All the senior dancers were in the center of the stage doing some kind of ballet spins, pirouettes I think they were called, while Rebecca and the rest of the dancers stayed off to the sides of the stage and swayed to the music. I tried to be subtle as I pointed to Rebecca on the far side of the stage.

“Who?” Gail yelled.

I turned and said in her ear, “Wait ‘til she comes to this side.”

“Okay.” She fell back against her chair.

The dancers in the center finished their pirouettes and melded back in with the rest. All the dancers weaved their way in and around each other, and Rebecca ended up on our side of the stage. I pointed to her again. She was right in front of us.

“Which one? The one with the white ribbon?”

Rebecca wore some kind of dark cord around her hair, not a white ribbon. “No, over there.”

“Where?”

“Right there.” I pointed at Rebecca. I even looked up my arm and through my finger to make sure I pointed directly at her. When Rebecca moved, my finger followed, but still, Gail didn’t seem to see her.

“The short girl with the teeth?”

I dropped my arm in frustration. It was as if Gail couldn’t see Rebecca at all. Was Rebecca invisible? Then it dawned on me. Gail couldn’t see because Rebecca was black. Gail was probably looking for a white girl and got confused when I kept pointing to Rebecca.

Gail looked at me and yelled in my ear, “The black girl?” She said the words with such disbelief that it was like I had pointed to a potted plant.

“Shhh,” I hissed at her. The senior citizens in front of us turned around and asked us to keep it down. I apologized, but Gail just sat with her mouth hanging open.

I originally thought Gail would have a hard time accepting the fact that I was gay, but she seemed to be having a harder time accepting the fact that I liked a black girl. It was as if liking Rebecca wasn’t even a possibility in Gail’s mind.

I looked at her and nodded. “That’s Rebecca.”

“You’re kidding.” She acted as if I was joking.

Gail sat back in her seat and didn’t say another thing to me during the rest of the first act. Once again, I had managed to make Gail Marsters speechless. Maybe all my recent news had been too much for her to handle. Maybe now that I had put an actual girl’s face to my orientation, she freaked because it had become real. I decided that Gail would have to work this one out for herself.

I DIDN’T ASK Gail to go with me to Rebecca’s concert the second night, so I sat by myself in the third row of the auditorium. Gail didn’t text me all day, and I decided not to text her, either. I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything, I just wanted to give her the space she probably needed to figure things out. I almost asked Missy to go with me since she was home for Christmas, but decided I wanted to watch Rebecca without distraction. My mom knew Rebecca and I were friends and all, but she didn’t understand why I wanted to go to the dance concert two nights in a row, so I lied and told her I was covering the dance concerts for the newspaper. Of course, I’d probably get caught in the lie when the article came out with someone else’s byline, but I’d cross that bridge when it came to me.

After Dad dropped me off at the auditorium, I bought a dozen red roses in the lobby. I held them in my lap ready to give to Rebecca after the show. I should have brought her flowers the night before, but, I was kind of glad I hadn’t known about the flowers thing because giving her flowers might have put Gail right over the edge.

As the last dance number came to a close, the audience burst into thunderous applause. My pulse raced as the velvet curtains closed in front of the dancers. Several people started a standing ovation, so I jumped up, put the roses carefully on my seat, and clapped as loud as I could. I wished I knew how to do that loud whistle thing where you put two fingers in your mouth. Maybe I could learn before Rebecca’s next concert.

Finally, after a hundred years, the curtain opened again, and the dancers pranced their way out one by one. When Rebecca came out, I clapped louder and yelled, “Whoo hoo.” I didn’t even care who heard me.

Rebecca didn’t make eye contact with me, but I could tell the standing ovation and the enthusiastic applause pleased her. The dancers grabbed each others’ hands and took a giant group bow. I didn’t think it was possible, but the audience clapped even louder. The girls bowed again, acknowledged the people in the lighting booth, and then one of the girls, a senior I think, ran down the steps and dragged Ms. Adams back on stage. Again, the audience picked up volume. A giant bouquet of flowers emerged from somewhere, and one of the dancer’s parents presented it to the dance teacher. Ms. Adams beamed and then bowed to the audience. She turned to face her dancers and bowed to them. That must have been the signal for the dancers to break ranks and swarm their teacher. My hands were getting tired from clapping for so long, but I didn’t care because I clapped for Rebecca.

I hung back for a few minutes at my seat after the house lights came on and waited for the right moment to approach Rebecca with my roses. Like most of the other dancers’ families, Rebecca’s family gave her flowers when she stepped down off the stage.

Rebecca hugged her parents, and as they turned to go, my heart beat faster. I made my way toward her slowly. She had turned to head back up the stairs to the stage, but stopped when I tapped her on the shoulder from behind.

“You were amazing.” I clutched the flowers tightly.

She turned and smiled. “I saw you in the third row.”

“You did?”

“I did.”

I was instantly mortified. Oh, my God, I hadn’t realized the dancers could see into the audience. Rebecca must have known that I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I thrust the flowers toward her to cover my embarrassment. I hoped she didn’t feel my hands shaking.

“For me?” She leaned in for a hug as she took them. She put her hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Thanks for coming. Both nights.”

She pulled away, but I still felt the heat of her touch. My heart was pounding when I stammered, “You’re welcome. It was…you were awesome.”

“Thanks, Devon.” She juggled both sets of flowers, so she could hold them with one arm.

I smiled like an idiot and took pride in the fact that my bouquet was bigger than her parents’.

“Devon?”

“Yeah?” She had me spellbound standing so close in her low-cut dance outfit, perspiration glistening on her skin. wanted to wrap my arms around her and...and what? I wasn’t sure. Kiss her. Definitely. I definitely wanted to kiss her.

“I, uh…,” she started, but then seemed at a loss for words. “Can I take you to see your grandma again? Maybe tomorrow?”

“My grandma?” I was confused for a second, but then I realized that Rebecca wanted to take me to the cemetery. The smile that popped out on my face must have given away my answer. My perma-grin was back.