Racing Outside the Line: A Love Story at 190 Mph (32 page)

I shook my head.
Stupid Desmond
, how could he not notice that she was totally falling for him? Even he couldn’t be so blind, could he?

"What do you know?" Seth whispered in my ear suspiciously. I shook my head at him; it wasn’t my place to tell him what was going on. "I’m your husband now, you aren’t supposed to keep secrets from me. Besides, you know you can trust me. I won’t say anything. Chelsea will never know you told me anything." Weighing my options, I had to admit that I knew he wouldn’t repeat anything I said to him, but he was best friends with Des, so I was still reluctant. If I gave him minimal information, he could deduce the rest of it on his own.

"They are
friends
now." On the word friends I was sure to raise my eyebrows at him so he got my meaning.

"Oooh," he mouthed as I saw the gears in his brain working. He glanced at Chelsea who was now fuming in one of the recliners around the table. He studied Desmond who was sitting in a chair across from Chelsea and next to Wyatt. Gene was sprawled across one of the recliners facing the couch, oblivious to everything, but some sleep. Then, Seth looked at me and studied me. Incredibly odd behavior, if you ask me, since he already knew me better than anyone in the world. I couldn’t figure out what I had to do with it all, but a look of epiphany suddenly crossed his face, and he shook his head slowly.

"It’s not gonna work like that, love," he whispered, his face just inches from mine. What was he talking about? It wasn’t going to work like what? "I didn’t know you were serious about the whole thing,
really serious
. I thought, well, from what he said, I thought this was just about a nice couple of nights, not long-term. I would have stopped you right away if I had known what you were thinking."

"Why?" Skeptically, I watched him considering something. I admit that I didn’t know Desmond as well as Seth, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t know him
really
well.

He rubbed his hand against his forehead and scrunched his eyes shut, "I see why you couldn’t outright tell me. You’re loyal to Chelsea." He shook his head again. He was clearly frustrated and reluctant to say more. What wasn’t he telling me? "I can’t outright tell you this out of loyalty to Des." I nodded, immediately bringing my eyebrows together in anger, but the look on Seth’s face interrupted my anger. His eyes were pleading, he wanted me to understand. He didn’t want to violate Desmond’s trust. It must be something big because Seth and Desmond openly teased each other about every embarrassing bit of information their whole lives. It had to be a very big deal. It had to be something Desmond only revealed to his best friend.

I felt suddenly horrible. I had encouraged Chelsea to pursue Desmond. It was my fault she was unhappy, and Seth knew something about why I shouldn’t have encouraged it, but he couldn’t tell me. I felt awful. He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. "Love, you know your brother’s track record." I nodded, of course I knew about his inability to spend more than a week or two with one woman. "He’s got his reasons, and I really can’t ever see them changing. He is what he is." He was trying to explain, but I still had trouble understanding how it was something I wouldn’t have known about him. I would know if he were gay, I would know if he had his heart broken, I would know if he had had a serious relationship he had never gotten over. I just couldn’t seem to figure it all out.

"Lexie, I just can’t imagine him ever waking up feeling differently. I’m sorry, love, I would have warned you, I would have warned her." His eyes traveled across the plane to where Chelsea was sitting, and he clearly felt bad for her, "I can see now that it’s too late for a warning." All I could do was nod sadly. I had wanted so badly for Chelsea to be happy, for her to find someone like I found Seth, and I wanted the same for Desmond. My stomach turned again, my hand flying to it, scrunching up my face.

"Where is Brent?" he looked around with impatience. "I’ll be right back." I closed my eyes and fought the nausea rolling around in my belly. I felt sick for Chelsea, sick for Desmond, sick for the day to come. I didn’t really feel as though I was going to throw up, I just felt really queasy. A moment later, Seth returned to his seat next to me laughing softly as he handed me a glass of clear soda.

"What’s so funny?’

"Brent is hiding from Desmond. Can’t say as I blame him, I’ve done it myself several times. He can be very intimidating when he wants to be." I let out a small smile, sipped at the soda, and leaned my head against Seth’s shoulder. Shortly thereafter, I felt Seth take the glass from my hand and pull my head down to lie on his lap. The last thing I remember was Seth stroking my hair affectionately before falling into a deep sleep.

"Lexie," Seth whispered, "love, it’s time to wake up." I felt his lips on my forehead as I willed my eyes to open. I was vaguely aware that I was still on the plane.

"What time is it? How long was I asleep?" My voice sounded groggy.

Stroking my hair, he answered, "We’ll be landing in about forty-five minutes. You were so tired, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t let you get more sleep last night."

Sitting up proved to be more exhausting than I had thought. I was definitely more tired than I thought I would be, but after a several hour nap I was feeling more ready to take on the world. "I’m not sorry." He sat back down on the couch beside me and pulled me down into his arms again.

"I love you, you are so adorable."

"I love you, too."

I managed to pull myself up to head into the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face in an attempt to wake up and brushed my teeth. I tried not to think about what was going to happen at the track, but as I pulled off my skirt and slipped on a pair of low-rise jeans that hugged my curves in all the right places, I couldn’t help but worry. I threw on my favorite top, a navy blue jersey knit blouse that was super thin and yet long-sleeved. I pushed the sleeves up to just beneath my elbows and looked over my appearance wondering if I had chosen a suitable outfit for the inevitable catfight to come.

"I liked the skirt better, easier access, you know," I rolled my eyes at Seth, "but I have to say that you look incredibly beautiful." The way he always looked at me as if he were just seeing me for the first time, left my heart racing. I dropped my bag to the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck, dying to kiss him. Who needed lipstick and Botox when you had a passionate husband to attack your lips until they turned red and swollen? I felt myself moan into his warm, sweet mouth as his hands moved up and down my back.

"I like this top," he mumbled through my insistent kissing, "it’s soft," his hands wandered to my side, brushing the swell of my breasts ever so slightly.

"Do I look tough?"

"No, you look sexy and incredibly touchable," to illustrate his point, he ran his hands over every inch of my blouse before grabbing my hand and dragging me back to the couch.

I put on my white Converse sneakers trying not to think about the drama that was about to ensue. My final moments of peace on the plane were spent cradled in Seth’s arms. We didn’t say anything to each other, we didn’t need to. It was one of those wonderful moments when you can sit comfortably and silently with someone and still be enjoying their company.

An hour later, we were pulling into the race track. If I thought my stomach was doing a Cirque De Soleil routine before, it was nothing compared to the acrobatic routine it was doing now. "Uggh," I leaned my head back against the seat and took deep breaths.

Seth took my hand in his, "You okay?"

"Unnh," was pretty much all I was capable of.

I suffered in as much silence as possible as we were cleared and entered into a small lot adjacent to the driver motor coaches. Seth flipped open his cell phone, "Gary, we’re here, bring Cartman and Kenny." I recognized the names of the two golf cart-like vehicles.

So it would start with Seth’s crew chief. What would his reaction be? Seth had told me that he would be shocked at first, and then he would see the change in Seth and be happy for us. Would he really? How long would it take for him to see this?

My stomach flipped making cling to Seth’s hand. He turned to me, kissing my forehead, "Don’t worry, love, it will be fine, I promise. He’ll be the easiest, and he’ll spread the word." All I could do was nod. I felt afraid, not just that he wouldn’t accept me, but that he would be angry with Seth and screw up his shot at winning the race. It was a foolish fear since I knew that racing at this level was more like a business. You don’t get your job done, you risk losing your job, your ride, your racing team, your sponsorship, etc. The knowledge still didn’t prevent me from worrying, after all, worrying was one of my strengths, and I felt it was always important to stick with your strengths.

"What does he know?" I found myself able to spit out as Seth helped me from the limo. Seth’s perplexed face made me wonder if I had confused him, "I mean, why does
he
think you were all gone?"

"Des," Seth turned to where Desmond was standing a few feet away from us. "What reason did you give him when you arranged this?"

"I didn’t," simply stated, not so simple to deal with. That meant he must be more curious than if he had just said Seth was sick. For all four of them to not show up for yesterday’s practice, well, that must have caused quite a stir, and I was the reason for it. Would he be angry with me? Would he think I was trying to sabotage Seth like one of his mechanics had thought?

I was rooted to my position grasping my only lifeline, Seth’s hand, as Gary drove up in "Cartman" and one of the faces I recognized from Seth’s crew drove up in "Kenny." Gene climbed out of the limo last and came up next to me throwing his arms around me in a quick hug, "It’ll be fine, Roses, I won’t let any o’ ma boys be mean to ya." I smiled fondly at him and he continued walking forward to greet Gary, slapping him on the back.

"Where the hell have you been?" Gruff was an understatement for the tone of voice Gary held… I felt more nauseous.

"Belooze? Bellase? I forget, but it was damn nice. Need to get yaself out there, boy, time o’ my life, it was. See ma tan?"

Gary eyed Gene angrily before turning to Wyatt. "What’s going on Wyatt? The media’s been all over me about last week and now his sudden disappearance. What the hell is happening here?"

Uh oh
, I thought. This didn’t sound like it was going to go well. Wyatt walked forward as I stood there sweating buckets despite the cooler temperature. Gary looked really pissed and a little hurt. I wondered if perhaps we should have invited him too. Wyatt just cuffed his shoulder and smiled at him, "Ask Seth, it’s his deal."
Gee, thanks Wyatt, so helpful.

"Seth—so help me, if someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to let scrawny Paulie race your damn car tomorrow."

Seth gave my hand a little squeeze before letting go. He walked forward, within hitting distance for Gary. "I’ve got good news to share with you, but first you have to promise to stay calm."

"Seth," he tone was clipped and warning.

"Okay, okay," Seth seemed to grow an inch taller and I wanted to hide. "You remember Lexie, right?" He kept his eyes on Gary as he asked this, and Gary looked at him as if he were questioning his sanity.

"Did you hit your head? Have you been in the hospital with a concussion the past few days? Of course, I remember her, she’s Desmond’s sister, but what does that have to do with—"

"Gary, she’s not just Desmond’s sister anymore, she’s also my wife."

"Yeah, oh-kay," he laughed with disbelief, "You’ve been missing cuz you went and got married… right,
you
of all people." Was it really so hard for everyone to believe that Seth would get married? I was starting to get annoyed with everyone’s reaction to the idea of Seth committing. We were meant to be together, and his entire crew could go screw themselves if they didn’t want to believe it.

Confidently, I walked casually in between Gary and Seth turning to Gary with a very matter-of-fact look on my face as I held up my left hand and wiggled my ring finger. You’d have to be blind as well as stupid not to see the massive load of diamonds glinting in the sunlight. Without any explanation at all, I turned my back to him, molded my hands to Seth’s face and pulled him down to kiss me. He seemed tentative at first, probably unsure of whether this would convince Gary, but then he circled my waist with one arm while the other hand ran up my back into my hair pulling me closer to him. As far as passionate kisses go, Seth and I were certainly not lacking in that department, but this one was definitely up there on the list of the most passionate. It might have started out slow, but something about being at the race track in broad daylight where anyone could see us made the fire between us burn even hotter.

I heard Desmond say, "Aww hell Gary, you see what you did? Why didn’t you just believe him? You’re not gonna get them off each other for hours. They can barely keep their hands off each other when they
haven’t
been encouraged to lock lips."

Seth finally slowed the kiss. "You alright?" he whispered against my lips. My body was trying to focus on too many things at once, "you’re shaking, love."
Really?
I asked myself. Then, I could feel it. Not just my hands, but my whole body was trembling ever so slightly. "You don’t have to be afraid, I’ve got you." I shook my head. Really, I wasn’t at all afraid.

I took deep breaths while Seth continued to hold me close to him. "I’m not afraid… I just got… a little… overwhelmed for a minute."

His tone was teasing as he smugly remarked, "Well, I’ll have to remember not to unleash the full force of my kissing skills on you in public like that."

"Didn’t that," I whispered, suddenly feeling shy, like I was admitting to believing in Santa Claus or something, "feel different, sort of… never mind." It sounded stupid. Our kisses were always passionate, I was imagining things.

I buried my head back in his shoulder, but he wouldn’t let me escape as he pulled my face back up until our noses were touching. His eyes were so warm, so loving that I tried to push myself forward to kiss him again, but he just smiled and shifted so that he was softly rubbing his cheek next to mine as his nose ticked my ear. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine as he whispered, "Just because I’m not shaking, doesn’t mean you don’t overwhelm me, love." He kissed my cheek gently. "I felt it too. This is real life for us, being here at the race track in front of everyone, this is where it means something to be able to hold you and touch you and kiss you without having to hide. Until the newness wears off, until that feeling like we’re going to get caught doing something we aren’t supposed to do dies away, until then, your very presence is going to drive me absolutely insane. I’ll be lucky if I can make it through the day without tearing off your clothes and making love to you. You really have absolutely no idea what you do to me."