“Sweetheart.” He kissed softly again, whispering words in between. “I need to go across the hall before
Dallas wakes up.”
Her head relaxed against him, the invitation given by her body that her mind couldn’t fight.
“Oh, Honor. You’re killing me here.”
His ragged words came out on a sigh against her shoulder. His palm stretched out across her abdomen and held her still as he pressed himself against her. He was hard, and on its own accord, her body clenched, her thighs pressed together.
“Kiss me. One kiss, please. Then I have to get out of this bed before it’s too late. Trust me, it’s the last thing I want to do, but when I make love to you for the first time, I damn well want to make it last.”
When?
She knew she didn’t interpret that correctly. There was no way. Against her better judgment, Honor rolled to her back.
His palm crept up the middle of her body, his fingers splayed out, brushing both breasts at the same time. Honor hissed at the contact. It had been more years than she could count since a man had touched her intimately, more years than that since she’d wanted that touch. His hand continued up to her neck and cradled her head, angling her the way he wanted. Her body kicked in and forced her to start breathing again. Funny thing was, she hadn’t even been aware that she’d been holding her breath.
“Good morning,” he said quietly as his lips came closer to her own.
“Morning, Eli.”
Even to her own ears, her voice sounded husky and needy. She was on fire, hurting in all the right places. Honor hadn’t ever had to practice control. She had no idea if she even possessed that trait.
From the time she had uttered the words,
I’m pregnant
, Kolby had shut her out. It was a marriage made in the world of the wacky. Like every day was spent inside the house of mirrors. Nothing was as it seemed it should be. A handful of times over the years, he’d taken her when he’d wanted, but other than that, nothing. She always felt damaged or not good enough.
But in Eli’s arms, she felt cherished.
This feeling was a slippery slope. If she wanted to keep a level head and make an educated decision for her son’s future, she had to keep her heart out of it. And her body? She needed to keep it way the hell out of the equation.
His lips hovered over hers, and she felt the twinges shoot through her. Honor pressed her thighs together again. His wicked little chuckle let her know he’d caught on to her. He rolled his body partially over her and worked his leg between hers so that his thigh was rubbing against her, stoking the fire higher and higher, like dousing a wood pile in gasoline. His lips on her skin were the match that lit the blaze. There had been no slow burn, the need in her raged into an inferno on contact. Feeling the steel against her hip only fanned the flames.
Educated decisions went right out the window along with their sidekick, rational thinking.
“Oh my God…Eli.” She panted and grabbed his
biceps in one hand and a fist full of sheet in the other.
“Trust me, Honor?”
He mumbled his throaty question against her ear, as he continued to torture and possess her. His open-mouthed kisses make their way back along her jaw to her mouth.
“Honor?” He nipped at her bottom lip. “Do you trust me, sweetheart?”
His thigh hit the exact spot of bliss again and almost sent her flying. “Yesssss,” she hissed, “yes, I-I trust you.”
“I’ve told you from the beginning I’d take care of you.” He kissed her lips, and his tongue danced around hers. “I’m not having some quickie, knowing
Dallas will be coming upstairs soon. But I won’t leave you hurting. Okay?”
Her breathing was too out of control and the lack of oxygen made words impossible to form. She didn’t know it could feel like this. Hell yes, she did too. She knew it would feel like this with Eli after their first few kisses, but she pretended otherwise. Lied to herself. All self-preservation was about to be destroyed. From this point forward, one look in those sinful hazel eyes, and she’d know the truth.
Honor nodded frantically to answer.
Eli’s mouth took control of hers. As his hand slid back down her body, his fingers slowed, and sneaked under the waistband of her shorts. His thigh moved on top of hers, his leg separating hers even wider than they were. Easing his way further down her body, he inserted one finger, then two. She knew now he was using his mouth to contain her—she felt the moans coming from her throat and knew he was swallowing them to help keep their secret.
Without any thought, Honor ran her hand, almost desperately, down his hip and under his own clothing. Finding the heat that had been pressed against her, she clasped her fingers around him. She knew he had been hard, but he seemed to grow even more so in her hand.
Eli must have not expected that, his fingers moved faster, his mouth and tongue punished her own. The faster he moved, the faster she moved, both climbing higher and higher.
A guttural moan, rumbling from the man half-blanketing her made time stop.
Everything in her body tensed, and then she fell, spiraling, as wave after wave took her over. Electricity, and a sense of bliss she’d never felt before, ran through her.
Her hand had stalled momentarily, she quickly picked back up and increased the speed. Three long strokes later, he hissed against her cheek.
Eli’s heart pounded against her shoulder. They were both breathing hard, but neither made any attempt to remove their hands. Her first thought was she couldn’t believe she’d done that, the second was that she should be embarrassed. However, she felt all warm, tingly, and spineless. If he wanted to do that again for her, she'd be a fool not to let him. Any time, any place.
“God. You are amazing, sweetheart,” he said quietly as he nuzzled the side of her face. “But, baby, if you don’t let go of him,” his soft laughter floated over her. “I may not be able to keep my word.”
Honor could tell he wasn’t completely joking. Grinning, she opened her eyes and noticed the room wasn’t quite as dark anymore. They had coasted into that peaceful time right before daybreak. As gently as she possibly could without waking the dragon, she uncurled her fingers and pulled her hand from his boxers and pajama pants. Instantly, she longed for the intimate connection again. Then her brain woke back up and ripped her ass, berating her for what she’d allowed to happen.
Eli’s hand immediately moved back up to cradle her neck, and prevented her from pulling away. She told herself it was his fault she couldn’t move and justified staying snuggled up to him, feeling the warmth from his bare chest against her.
“What do you say you grab your robe, and we’ll go make some coffee and sit out on the back patio together? We can watch the sun come up.”
Her mind wouldn’t shut off, the
what-ifs
, the
you can’ts
, the
this won’t works
were all fighting for the right to be heard first. For once, she wanted to see the other side of the coin. She tuned out the noise in her head and nodded.
Eli stopped her before they left the happiness of the bedroom, before she could see the staircase to the finished basement and think of reality, and pulled her tight to him. She ran her palms over his chest, up his neck, and looked up.
The hazel eyes sparkled in the blue of the moonlit room. The desire and need they burned with moments ago was banked back down, and now they danced with mischief.
She grinned as he grinned, mirroring him without knowing why. Smiling even though she didn’t know the punch-line yet. Hell, she didn’t even know the joke.
Winking, he laid his forehead to hers, “You know I haven’t done that since I was a horny teenager. You see what you do to me, woman?”
Honor wiggled her eyebrows in reply.
Her stomach spun automatically.
Shit
.
She didn’t flirt. She didn’t even know how to flirt. But, that was definitely flirting.
What the hell?
Eli’s laughter pulled her back off the ledge. “Oh, sweetheart. You’re surely killing me.”
With that, he let go and turned with her hand in his and pulled her gently behind him, walking out her bedroom door. There it was again. Taunting her. Screaming
touch me
. That sinfully beautiful tattoo that danced through her mind every time she shut her eyes.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
It might not have been right to spring this on the Highlends boy, but Eli didn’t give a shit. It was the only way to truly prevent any foul play, at least mechanically. He stood with Honor by his side and Dallas in front of him, his hand resting firmly on Dallas’s shoulder as they all listened to James’s speech. Everyone had been called to meet by the gate at the track entrance—every employee, every paying student, and their parents if they were on property.
James was in rare form as he went through the bullet points. Eli hadn’t seen him like this in a very long time. Actually, he’d seen him like that only once before. The normally mild-mannered professional, the consummate gentleman, turned redder and redder with each passing moment. The rein on his anger loosened, allowing it to flare back up to the point it was at yesterday when Emery explained what happened to the bike. James didn’t get angry unless you messed with one of his own. Standing there in the cool morning air, James was past angry and visibly pissed.
The heads in the crowd bobbed and darted around looking at each other for answers. Those involved with the school stood to the side of James, steady, united, and informed. They had all been enraged to think what Scott Highlends did was done right under their noses. Worse yet, the boy didn’t answer or deny the claims when James brought him and his family in to discuss it in person. His obnoxious,
entitled to the world
attitude only served to inflame James even more.
Under his hand,
Dallas was as stiff as a board. His breathing was shallow and quick. He couldn’t see the boy’s face, but given the direction he was looking, Eli knew he was staring Scott down—an older boy, on a bigger bike. Most wouldn’t think it was at all possible, and judging from Scott’s attitude, he certainly felt like he had Dallas beat.
A hush fell over the small crowd when Karen Noland quietly walked up to join the group. She made her stance known when she stopped at
Dallas’s side. Eli could see his face as he looked up at her. The smile and the love in Dallas’s eyes was genuine, and it almost appeared as if he was relieved to have her there with him.
That was what Eli loved so much about the older couple. They could wear the finest evening wear one night, wake up and come out with jeans and boots the next day. They worked hard, and then gave everything they could to help with the academy too. They treated everyone with kindness and respect, but for their family it was unconditional love and support.
Eli had seen firsthand what happened when James and Karen thought one of their own was in trouble, and hell hath no fury like an upset parent. Even when it was only love that bonded them and not blood. That had no bearing when it came to their affection or their support. They accepted with open arms—and didn’t let go.
Karen, as well as James for that matter, would occasionally wander out to the track, usually to chat with Molly, Carter, Jesse, Emery, Brody, or himself. The twins and Brody’s little guy, Chance, ran from the main house, to the track, to the shop, to the academy offices, and back around several times a day. Eli, and everyone else in a hundred-mile radius, knew those three grandkids were Karen’s world.
With the utmost grace, the statement she made was clear. Dallas was theirs also.
The rest of the students were great, but
Dallas was special, and they could kiss her ass if they were jealous. Her arm slid around his waist, and she tugged him close to her side. Karen looked back at Eli, the wicked twinkle in her eye and the curve of her mouth brought a smile to his own face. Even though he was stressing out, Eli couldn’t help but quietly chuckle. Karen never ceased to surprise and amaze him.
Out of the corner of his eye, Scott’s movement caught his attention. The boy was an absolute idiot. Standing no more than twenty feet away, he was sending non-verbal threats
Dallas’s way.
Leaning down, Eli spoke next into
Dallas’s ear with his own eyes locked on Scott. “You’ve got this. I’ll be right there the whole time, but if you want to call it quits, I know James and Karen would rather see you walk away. They’ll just make them leave, and it’ll all be over with.”
With his face turned over his shoulder in Eli’s direction,
Dallas spoke back. “I can’t do that, Eli. I just can’t.”
“I know, son. Just wanted to put it out there one more time. Well, you know that track like the back of your hand now. Nothing’s changed since last night, and James surprised them with this so he hasn’t had a chance to screw with anything this morning.” Squeezing his shoulder for support, Eli continued. “I’m proud of you, but I’d be just as proud if you walked away.”
“I know. And Eli…um, thanks for believing in me.”
Putting both hands on the boy’s shoulders Eli squeezed, letting out a deep breath. “I do, son, two hundred percent.” In the short time that he and his mother had been in Eli’s life, he couldn’t believe how very attached he’d grown to both of them.
Attached? Hell, who was he kidding?
Attached was putting it mildly on any scale. He was head over heels in love with Honor, and he adored her son as if he was his own.
Last night and their early morning together only drove home that knowledge. He was shocked as all hell that he ended up sleeping beside her all night. It had definitely not been a premeditated plan when he went after a drink. He really had just been after some scotch. But lying next to her warm, sweet-smelling body all night had been a million times better than any liquor. Eli let out a short, hopefully quiet grunt as his jeans suddenly got uncomfortable. Thinking about it again was going to do nothing but leave him hurting and wanting more.
He released a long breath through his nose and tried to concentrate on the event at hand.
Upon James’s dismissal, Eli turned to Honor. “I’m going to run him up to James’s garage so he can get his bike.”
Honor nodded but didn’t speak. It was obvious she was nervous. Rightfully so, this was no different than an old-fashioned showdown from the wild west, or a drag race down a vacant strip of a back-road, like in the fifties. He let go of
Dallas and ran his hand along her neck, drawing her near with his palm. The cascade of dark auburn curls gave him the privacy he needed to tuck his face next to hers and place a kiss by her ear before quietly reassuring her that Dallas would be all right. He lingered for a long minute, drawing on her strength as much as he tried to comfort her.
He gradually let the connection slip away. His fingers caressed her cheek as he pulled his hand back and winked at her once before turning away with her son at his side.
She’d grown used to his affections. Now however, it was not at all like the seductive and sinful smiles and winks he’d given her over the last three weeks. The worry had been visible in his face, in the tic of his jaw, but Honor knew he was going to keep her son safe. It was the softened gaze in those hazel eyes that made her heart melt—and hurt. As the two walked up the path toward Karen and James’s garage where they had kept his bike under lock and key, her heart clenched. She couldn’t hear their words any longer, but the body language was loud and clear. They were so much more than student and trainer, and light years beyond buddies.
This morning had been a mistake. Albeit a glorious, earth shattering, seeing stars kind of mistake. But, a mistake nonetheless. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep with him still in her room last night, and she sure as hell hadn’t meant to let him kiss her. That had been the springboard for the cliff she’d jumped off. One touch of his lips, one breathy sentence from his mouth, and she had been a goner.
It was bad enough she’d gone and let him into her heart, it was bad enough that it was going to physically hurt to get on that plane next Tuesday, but seeing him with Dallas crushed her. Eli had slipped into the father-figure role so seamlessly she hadn’t even noticed how badly Dallas craved that from him. And only him.
Dallas
had never been close with Kolby, probably because the man wasn’t ever home. When he was, it was either icy in their small house or the yelling had the poor child disappearing into his shoebox-sized bedroom. He was attached to Mac. They were close, and he trusted him, but there was something different about his relationship with Eli. It was even more plain to see as they walked together. Obvious—so very obvious—her son loved him like he was his father.
There they stood, near the garage doors, face-to-face, Eli’s hand on
Dallas’s shoulder, her son nodding at Eli’s words.
Then Eli hugged him.
Not just a
we’re buddies
hug, or a manly quick, hard pat on the back. A hug—like a parent hugged their child when they were comforting them. Because he loved him.
And
Dallas returned the affection with vigor, with want, and with need.
The scene forced the breath out of her, and she clutched her chest, the pain in her heart almost physical. She needed forever. The ring, the promises, the things that were so permanent that it was worth letting
Dallas’s heart come into the picture.
That was why she hadn’t dated. She didn’t want to play the field, or think about any other “fish in the sea.” She couldn’t bear the hurt her son would feel each time they walked back out the door. He was so vulnerable, so quick to trust, and so open hearted despite living around Kolby, and she didn’t want to see those qualities destroyed.
Dallas hadn’t been devastated when his father was killed, sad yes, but world-ending—sadly, no.
Kolby had never been around little kids until
Dallas came along, and he made no real attempts to forge a relationship as Dallas got older. Honor didn’t know how father-son stuff was supposed to work, she didn’t have a brother, and she never had a father. Her uncle Travis had been overseas when Dallas was born, and unfortunately, didn’t make it back. He never got a chance to hold her new baby.
Mac was a good role model. Mac was around, took him places, and worked with him on the track. Kolby had floated in and out of the four walls of their house, but other than that, he stepped back and left his brother to help raise his son.
That had been working, until now. Seeing Eli with Dallas—that was how it was supposed to be. That was what a father and son looked like. How they acted together—the trust and admiration, the mutual respect, the fun and games, and helping with problems. Most of all—the love.
Her fingers flew to her lips. “Oh my God,” She whispered to herself as she continued to watch them from a distance.
Pictures and episodes rolled through her mind. Conversations, occurrences, all the things Eli had told Dallas and helped him with, the way they moved around each other, and the ease of their relationship. The rough-housing, jokes, and quiet moments she’d catch them in, or talking about life in general and how it affected Dallas as he sat on the verge of becoming a teenager. Eli’s guidance with a math problem, his steadiness when Dallas opened up regarding Kolby—it all came together like she was watching her own life in a movie.
The confidence
Dallas entered and left a room with had grown, along with the happiness. His whole personality had changed.
The rest of them might see future podium greatness in her son, but it was painstakingly obvious to her that
Dallas saw a future father in Eli.
Tears sprung to her eyes without warning.
Swiping at them before they could fall, she hugged her arms around herself, trying like hell to force the rest to wait until dark.
She thought her decision about the summer had been hard before, now it was impossible. Eli’s whispered words of need and his attraction was crystal clear. The hugs and innocent touches weren’t as innocent as he may have tried to play off. Honor knew better. She knew what he wanted. When they were alone, he often pulled her close, his desires spoken with a warm heat near her ear.
But there was a whole other side he never mentioned. All the demons in her head came screaming their warnings at her. She needed to go home and think. But really, there wasn’t anything to think about.
Eli had never once mentioned a future, the long-term, concrete, and permanent kind…and she wasn’t going to ask for it. She would not use her son as bait.
“Earth to Honor. Hey…honey?” Molly asked.
Honor hadn’t even realized Molly had moved closer to her side. She glanced sideways at her, through the tears still threatening to fall. One look at Molly and she had to bite her lip, trying anything to keep her pain to herself.
“Oh, Honor. He’s going to be all right. Eli and the guys will make sure of that, I promise.”
Not trusting her own voice, all she could do was slowly shake her head no at Molly’s words. Standing so close, Molly’s face dropped, and it was clear she understood the problem.
“Oh, honey. You really like him, don’t you?”
She felt both Karen and Molly’s arms slide around her back to hug her between the two of them. With the back of her hand, Honor wiped the trickle off her cheek their gesture caused.
How did she explain the craziness whirling around in her head when she couldn’t decipher the madness herself? Making a pro-con list like in high school wasn’t even an option, because real people with real feelings were involved. And who was she kidding, the pro side outweighed the other a million-to-one.
Forever. She needed— No, she had to have forever. Anything less wasn’t even a consideration.