Authors: Nell Dixon
Ben obligingly loaned me his arm and I tried not to grip too hard as I hobbled across the narrow parapet to the relative safety of the tower wall. He had a very nice arm, muscled and firm.
“Thank you.” I released him and leaned my back against the tower wall, positioning myself so that I couldn’t see the drop over the other side of the battlements.
“No problem, cramp’s pretty painful.”
Cagoule Woman marshalled the rest of the abseillers and ushered them into the tower.
“We’ll see you on Monday then, Chloe; nine-thirty sharp. I understand you’ll be broadcasting live on Cereal with Steph – so exciting!” She gave me a farewell wiggle of her fingers and disappeared inside the tower, hard on the heels of the rest of the group.
“It’s an amazing view from the top of here.” Ben gazed around in open admiration.
“I think you can see clear across the county.” I didn’t let on that I’d managed to stand where the only view I had was of Ben and the tower wall.
“I’ve got your details from the press release the radio station emailed across to me. The piece should be in tonight’s paper.” He stowed his notebook and pen inside a small back pack.
“Great. I, um, was a bit surprised to see you. It’s normally Tom who covers the Gazette stuff.” Something about the way he looked at me made me go all hot and bothered.
“Tom’s
retired,
I’m the new journalist now for the Gazette. As I can take pictures too it gave me the edge when they advertised the job.”
“Well congratulations on the job. New job and new house – wow!” Oh hell, how lame did that sound? At least I’d managed to stop myself from adding the bit about new houses normally leading to new babies.
To his credit he ignored my babbling, only the slight lifting of one dark eyebrow betrayed his thoughts.
“Are you looking forward to the abseil?”
“Um, well I haven’t had much time to think about it really.” It wasn’t a lie. I hadn’t had time to think much about it and I could hardly tell him I was shit scared could I?
“Rather you than me, still, it should raise a lot of money for cancer research.”
“I hope so. Um, will you be here on Monday?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to say yes or no. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of him – a lot more of him. On the other hand if all he saw of me was a woman having a complete breakdown as they lowered me over the edge of the castle then maybe it would be better if I just ran into him back at the house.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
I’ll try and get a shot as you go over the wall.”
“Great.” I forced a smile and hoped Shelly’s pills would be strong enough to get me through Monday’s ordeal.
Ben followed me down the tower steps and out onto the grass outside the keep. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to be back on solid ground. If Ben hadn’t been there I probably would have knelt down and kissed the grass.
“I expect I’ll see you around, then?” He gave me another smile that made my heart give a skip.
“Absolutely, we’re neighbours aren’t we?” Oh why not kill me now, another totally lame reply.
I watched him stride away after we’d said our goodbyes and I wondered if I’d left my brain at the top of the castle.
Didn't matter.
I wasn't going back up there to look for it.
* * *
I didn’t see Ben at all on Sunday although I heard plenty of hammering and banging coming from the upstairs flat. The girl he’d said was his sister came back toting lots of bags which she hauled up the stairs to his flat. I toyed with the idea of finding a pretext to go outside so I could introduce myself but decided it might make me look nosy and stalkerish.
Instead I spent the day catching up on my laundry and rearranging things in the flat to eradicate any trace of Neil ever having lived there. It made me quite sad.
Even though Neil had been living in the flat, in reality it had been over between the two of us for a very long time. It had simply taken me a long while to realise it.
Shelly rang to wish me good luck for Monday. I asked her again about the tablets she’d given me.
“It’ll be fine, take one tablet thirty minutes before you’re due to do the abseil. The doctor told me I could take two if I wanted so if you’re really stressed out then take two.”
“And you’re sure they’re safe?”
“Chloe, I wouldn’t have given them to you if I didn’t think they were safe. The doctor said they were very mild. Honest, you’ll be fine.”
I hoped she was right.
“I’m going to try and sneak out of the office to come and watch you.” Shelly worked for a firm of solicitors near the centre of town.
“Thanks, I think I’ll need some moral support. Ben will be there too, taking pictures for the Gazette.”
“Who?
Ben, the hunky new neighbour, Ben?”
Shelly’s voice squeaked up a notch and I knew her interest was piqued. I’d filled her in on Ben when she’d called on Saturday to try to tempt me out for a night on the razzle. I’d declined and stayed home to fill my face with an Indian takeaway in the company of Mr Darcy courtesy of my Pride and Prejudice DVD.
“I saw Neil, when I was in Crush last night.”
“Neil was in Crush?” The miserable rat-bastard, every time I’d suggested going he’d turned his nose up at the idea.
Probably because he’d have had to actually fork out some of his own money to get in.
“Yeah, he was with her. I’m sorry, Clo, but I thought it was better that you knew.” Shelly sounded apologetic. She was right though, I would rather know, at least then I would be less likely to run into him.
“She’s not a patch on you. She’s long and skinny with no boobs and bloody awful dress sense.”
“Thanks, Shell.” I couldn’t help smiling to myself. Shelly was nothing if not loyal. She’d been my best friend from the day we’d first started playgroup together and even if Neil’s new woman had been Cheryl Cole’s twin sister, Shelly would still have found a fault.
“You’re better off without him. Anyway maybe a fling with Ben upstairs might be just the tonic you need.”
“I dunno Shell, he seems very nice but I think I need a break from men after Neil.” Ben did seem nice and he was well fit. When I’d been clinging on to his arm he’d seemed nicely muscled. And then there were the gorgeous blue eyes and killer smile.
Shelly gave an unladylike snort. “Well, if you don’t want him, can I have a crack?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want him.”
Shelly cackled making my eardrums ring. “That sounds better. I’ll see you at the castle tomorrow.”
I rang off and went to bed praying that a violent storm or an outbreak of leprosy, anything in fact that might cause the abseil to be cancelled, would hit our small town the next day.
My prayers went unheeded and I woke up to find bright April sunshine flooding into the flat. I felt too sick to eat any breakfast and barely managed to choke down half a mug of tea before it was time to head for the castle.
After being frozen to death on my last excursion I decided to play safe and wear plenty of layers in case it was cold again today. It might also mean
,
if I were lucky, that I would be too fat for the safety harness.
By the time I wombled out of the flat to my car, I’d swallowed two of Shelly’s tablets and had managed to don a tee shirt, a long sleeved tee shirt, a thick jumper, my padded jacket and a navy felt beret. I looked like an overweight member of the French Resistance.
This time the car park nearest to the castle was already full and I had to leave my car in a side street before waddling along to where the rest of the victims were gathered. My layers of clothing were sticking to my back and by the time I joined the group I was quite heated and breathless.
“Ah, Chloe, good, we’re all here now. This is Martin from Ropes and
Ladders,
he’s going to be your instructor for today along with his assistant, Jenny.” Cagoule Woman waved her hand towards a cheerful looking bloke wearing a green sweater with a Ropes and Ladders logo. He was accompanied by an equally cheery looking red-haired girl.
As the Ropes and Ladders man began to run through the safety drill, explaining the equipment I started to feel quite woozy. I whipped off my beret and stuffed it in my jacket pocket. Running up the hill to the castle had made me a touch too warm.
I tried to focus on what the instructor was saying. He made it all sound simple.
“And you’re quite sure we’re not going to fall?” I asked as he finished demonstrating the equipment.
The group laughed.
“Absolutely, Chloe.
We’ve never had anyone fall yet.” He smiled at me as everyone else laughed once more. His answer didn’t convince me that I wasn’t going to be the first.
A large crowd had gathered around the foot of the keep and I glanced around hoping to spot Shelly. Everyone else appeared to have a large band of supporters there all waving hand painted placards with encouraging slogans like ‘Go Kevin’, and ‘You can do it, Janice’ on them. The only person I could see there to support me was Bob Singh in a yellow Live it Up Radio tee shirt. Bob did the Wednesday night Bhangra with Bob slot and I guessed Mervyn had dragooned him into showing up this morning.
I gave him what I hoped was a confident wave and started to follow the others up the stairs of the tower. My pulse began to race as we made the ascent and my knees were knocking. Just before I stepped out onto the top of the battlements I slipped another couple of Shelly’s tablets into my mouth.
So far they didn’t seem to be having any effect on me and it appeared she’d been right when she’d said they might have lost some of their strength now they were out of date.
I put my hand out to feel for the coping stones on the top of the wall as I stepped into the sunshine. The parapet was crowded with people. The abseillers, Cagoule woman, the instructors, Ben and, to my horror, Mervyn, complete with recording equipment.
“And here’s Chloe Lark, representing Live it Up, your favourite local radio station, about to join the brave volunteers in this fabulous charity abseil in aid of cancer research.” Mervyn turned off the equipment and hustled towards me. “You could have been wearing one of our tee shirts!”
Ben snapped a picture.
“Sorry, I didn’t think. I was too worried about possibly falling to my doom,” I hissed back at him.
He glared at me and switched the recording equipment back on. “Give us a few words, Chloe. Tell the listeners at home, how excited are you to be taking part today?”
Mervyn’s face seemed slightly fuzzy and out of focus as I tried to scramble my thoughts together to give him a broadcastable reply. “I’m very excited and I hope this will raise tons of money for an extremely good cause.”
The sun must be stronger than I’d thought as I’d become quite warm. I slipped off my padded jacket and handed it to Merv. “Can you look after this?”
I made my way cautiously along the parapet taking care not to look over the side while I held onto the battlements. The stone was cold and rough against my sweaty fingers but I was quite pleased that so far at least I had managed not to disgrace myself by passing out.
The first two victims had gone over the wall to rapturous cheers from the crowd waiting below the keep. My sweater was still making me hot so I peeled it off. Mervyn was busy capturing sound bites from Cagoule Woman and without thinking I passed it to Ben.
“Can you give this to Mervyn in a minute to look after for me? It’s gone quite warm today.” For some strange reason I had trouble forcing the words to come out of my mouth properly. It’s amazing what fear does to you I suppose.
“Chloe, are you okay?” Ben stared at me. At least I think he stared at me, all of a sudden I couldn’t seem to bring his features properly into focus.
“Absolutely great.”
I tried nodding but my head didn’t feel as if it was connected properly to my body anymore.
“Couldn’t be smashinger.”
And that was the last thing I remembered.
There was someone crying in the distance. At least, I thought that was what I could hear. My eyelids seemed to have been weighted down with lead and the inside of my mouth tasted icky, as if I’d been sick. My head rested on something firm, I tried to raise myself up and failed. The fortune teller had been right about my life being in danger. This would teach me to pay more attention to my horoscope in future.
Maybe I was dead. Was this what the afterlife was like? Had I been the first person to die on a Ropes and Ladders abseil?
Oh crap! The abseil! Perhaps that had all been a dream and I hadn’t woken up yet. I tried once more to force my eyelids open.
Green and white shapes swam in and out of focus. Dimly, I realised there was a sort of antiseptic smell tickling at my nostrils and adding to my general queasy feeling.
“Am I dead?” My voice came out as a muffled mumble and I suspected I’d drooled onto whatever my head lay on.
A blurry face came close to mine and something bright shone straight into my eyes searing the backs of my eyeballs.
“What you doing?” If I wasn’t dead I must have been badly hurt. I tried to wriggle my toes in an attempt to feel my feet.
“You’re in hospital.”
I didn’t recognise the male voice. It appeared to belong to my torturer with the bright light.
“What happened?” Relief, I could move my feet; I couldn’t have broken my neck.
I couldn’t see my torturer any more. With a lot of effort, and by screwing my eyes open and shut a few times, my surroundings gradually began to come into focus.
Definitely a hospital cubicle.
A stainless steel trolley was next to my bed and my arm was hooked up to some kind of machine.
“Chloe?
Oh thank God, Chloe.”
“Shelly?” My friend arrived at my side, her face white with anxiety.
“God, Clo; I thought I’d killed you.”
“Huh?” Now I could see more clearly I noticed Shelly’s eyes were rimmed with red as if she’d been crying.
“The tablets, you nonk, how many did you take?”
Tablets?
I tried to concentrate.
Shelly’s tablets.
I remembered taking two at the flat and one when I was inside the tower and I might have taken one on the way to the abseil but I couldn’t be sure.
“Um, two or three?”
What was Shelly saying? I was in hospital because of the tablets?
“Bloody hell.
I told you to only take two.”
“You mean I’m in here because of the tablets? I didn’t fall off the top of the castle?”
She blew out a breath. “You never got to do the abseil. One minute you were talking to Ben, you said you felt hot and then your words went all slurry. Next thing, you threw up all over his shoes and collapsed in a heap. They called 999 and rushed you in here.”
My body flushed hot and then cold as her story struck home.
“But Merv?
The charity money?”
“Merv ended up doing the abseil instead of you. Ben stepped in and did some commentary and I
ended
up following the ambo here to find out what was wrong with you.”
“Oh God!”
I was probably jobless. Merv would be livid. As for Ben, he’d almost certainly never want to speak to me again.
“Then, when they found the pills in the pocket of your jeans I had to tell them,” Shelly gulped. “I honestly thought I’d killed you.”
“Well, I suppose you got me out of the abseil, that’s one good thing. I don’t suppose Merv was very pleased if he had to do it instead though.”
“I heard Ben reporting on it on the car radio on the way here. They were making a huge thing about your collapse and how ill you were.” She pulled a tissue from her bag and dabbed at her nose. “I was so scared.”
“Yeah, well, it was my fault for taking too many.” Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes.
My white-coated torturer with the light bustled back in “That’s what you get when you abuse prescription medication, especially when they aren’t your prescription drugs.” From his tone and the stethoscope I guessed he must be a doctor and one who needed a brush up on his bedside manners.
Shelly and I received a full twenty-minute lecture on the misuse of medicines while he finished checking me out before he discharged me into her care.
“I’ll take you back to your flat.” Shelly supported me on her arm as I wobbled out of accident and emergency.
“Why is it dark?” I blinked at the orange lights surrounding the hospital car park.
“Because you’ve been spark out almost all day.”
Shelly propped me against the side of her car while she dug the keys from her pocket.
She helped me into the passenger seat.
“Thanks for staying with me. I’m sorry I messed up with the tablets.” Poor Shelly had missed a day’s work, been worried sick and now planned to spend the night at my flat just to make sure I was okay.
“Do you think Merv will sack me?” I fumbled my seatbelt into place as Shelly started the car.
“Nah, don’t see how he can without looking like a real jerk. I mean everything was broadcast live on air. People listening jammed the switchboard to see if you were okay. I think they thought you’d have a seizure or a stroke at first. Steph sounded totally miffed.” She reasoned as she pulled off the car park and into the evening traffic.
I hadn’t thought of that.
“Anyway I reckon Merv is the least of your worries.” She shot me a nervous glance as she halted for the traffic lights.
“Why?” Something about the way she wasn’t meeting my gaze set alarm bells ringing.
“The hospital wanted to know the details for your next of kin.”
“Oh God.”
“I had no choice; I told them I’d call her. I’m sorry Clo, but your mother is coming to see you.”
Great.
My misery was now complete.
“She would have come straight down if she could have got a flight today. I did my best to stall her.”
There were good reasons why I lived a long way away from my mother. After my parents had divorced, I’d stayed in the Midlands, my father had very wisely managed to flee to another continent, and my mother had gone to live in the wilds of
Scotland
. It was an arrangement that suited all concerned.
Now, my mother was no doubt busy efficiently packing a suitcase ready to come and remind me yet again what a disappointment I was to her. Since I’d been a disappointment from the moment she’d discovered I was a girl and not the baby boy she’d ordered, this was nothing new.
My lack of academic prowess, and failure to secure what she considered to be a good job, were yet more sources of anguish. I had redeemed myself briefly when Neil had moved into the flat and she’d thought she might be gaining a son-in-law. True, he wasn’t a doctor or a lawyer, but an accountant did come pretty close in her eyes to being what she considered to be an ‘eligible catch’. Obviously, I hadn’t told her that Neil and I had split up.
We pulled to a halt outside the house. The lights were on upstairs in Ben’s flat and I wondered if he still had my sweater. Shelly bustled out of the car to come and help me.
“Have you got your keys?”
I almost asked her “what keys?” before my cotton wool brain kicked in to gear. What had I done with my keys?
And my phone?
Where was my phone? I patted the pockets of my jeans and found a crumpled tissue, three pound coins and a chap stick.
“They were in my coat pocket with my phone.” Realisation flooded back accompanied by blind panic as I realised I’d thrust my coat at Merv immediately before I’d made my undignified exit from the abseil.
“You’re kidding me?” Shelly stared at me in dismay.
“Wait, what’s that?” A yellow scrap of paper sellotaped to the entry buzzer of the house caught my eye.
Shelly sprang forward to pull it free, bringing it under the brighter light from the security lamp so we could read the message.
“Have got your keys.
Ben.” She grinned at me. “Oh goody, now I get to have a closer look at your new neighbour.”
Before I could gather my wits, she pressed the button for Ben’s flat. Oh hell, I wasn’t sure I was ready to see him again quite so soon after making such a complete tit of myself. Still, I suppose it had to be better than having to try and contact Merv to get my things back.
My heart was in my mouth as Ben opened the door. Shelly gave him one of her best smiles. “We found your note. Thank goodness you’ve got Chloe’s keys, she was really worried.”
He smiled back at Shelly sending a tiny shaft of jealousy through my chest. “No problem. Mervyn gave me Chloe’s things when she got rushed away.”
He turned his attention to me and I tried to curb my instinct to hide away behind my friend.
“How are you feeling now, Chloe?” He sounded genuinely concerned and not at all cross that I’d apparently been sick over his shoes and landed him with commentating on Merv’s abseil.
“Much better, thank you.”
I couldn’t quite bring myself to look him in the face though.
We followed him into the hall where he handed Shelly my jacket and sweater while he unlocked my front door.
“I’m so sorry about today. It was good of you to cover for Merv while he took my place on the abseil.” I summoned up my courage to finally take a peep at his expression as Shelly turned on the light in my tiny hall way.
“That’s okay. I’m glad you were okay. Substance abuse can do terrible things to people.”
My mouth fell open. Substance abuse! Oh my God!
“But it wasn’t, I mean I wasn’t. They were prescription things.” My words piled up in my mouth like a giant log jam as I struggled to explain.
“I’d better go, see you ladies later.” He flashed Shelly another smile and bounded back up the stairs to his flat leaving me still spluttering and indignant on my door step.
“What was that about?” Shelly reappeared at my elbow having missed the last part of the conversation while she’d been switching on the lamp in the lounge.
“He thinks I’m a druggie.” I trailed miserably down the hall and into the kitchen.
“That’s crazy. Why would he think that?” Shelly busied herself with the kettle.
“Oh, I dunno, maybe someone told him about the tablets and he’s got hold of the wrong end of the stick.” I looked closely at her face. Her cheeks seemed to have turned a slightly darker shade of pink.
“Don’t look at me like that. All I said to Merv was that maybe you’d reacted to the tranquillisers. Merv must have mentioned something to him.” She turned her back on me for a second to rummage in the cupboard for my teabags.
“Why did you tell Merv I’d taken tablets? Misuse of drugs is a sackable offence.” If Merv thought I was on drugs then I was definitely out of Live it
Up
.
“I thought I’d killed you, remember?” Shelly banged the tea caddy down on the counter, her eyes filled with tears. “I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Any way, I don’t think taking a couple of tranquillisers is what they mean by being sackable. They probably mean Coke or something like that.”
Remorse flooded through me. “I’m sorry Shelly. I’m not blaming you, honestly. It was my idiocy that got me into this mess.”
She stepped around the counter to hug me. “Listen, everything will be fine. You can explain to Ben when you see him next and Merv will understand. It isn’t as if you made yourself ill on purpose. If he and Steph hadn’t pushed you into doing that stupid abseil in the first place then you would have been fine. You could sue him!”
The muffled sound of my mobile ringing from the depth of my jacket pocket in the lounge pulled us out of our consolatory hug. I scurried through to try and grab it before the call could go to voice mail.
I wrestled it from the folds of fabric and gasped a breathy “hello” into the mouthpiece in the nick of time.
“Chloe?”
I should have let it go to voice mail. It was my mother.