Rainbow Blues (14 page)

The caller ID said it was Jimmy, but he rarely called in case Luke had gone to sleep early. It had been only three weeks since they’d met, but they’d slipped easily and painlessly into a routine. Dates on Monday or Tuesday, texting the rest of the week, and on the weekend, when Jimmy wasn’t at the playhouse, they were together, whether it was at Jimmy’s or Luke’s. Mostly Luke’s, though. He’d made a wise choice when he bought the bed.

“Hey there. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” If a voice could slouch, Jimmy’s was doing it. “Just tired. Wanted to hear your voice.”

“How’d it go tonight?” If Jimmy had had a bad performance yet, he hadn’t shared that information with Luke.

“Fine. Just….” The silence lengthened while Luke waited.

“Jimmy?”

“I forgot to go shopping. And I’m hungry, but too tired to go back out. Pathetic, right?”

Jimmy ate very lightly before performances, but was usually ravenous afterward. Still, the past three weeks had to have been grueling.

“You’ve got nothing? Jimmy, you’ve got to eat something. You’ll make yourself sick.” Luke rolled his eyes. That was the sound of a man who’d spent years as a dad. But he’d seen firsthand how hard Jimmy pushed himself, and not eating was only going to weaken him. In fact, the last time he’d gotten Jimmy naked, Luke wondered if Jimmy had lost some weight, but he was still learning Jimmy’s body and might have been mistaken.

“Eh. I’ll grab a danish or something on the way into school tomorrow.”

A danish. If that was Jimmy’s idea of food that would stick with him all day, no wonder he was running on fumes.

“Order a pizza. They should still be delivering.”

Jimmy let loose a loud sigh. “Not sure I’ll be awake that long. Maybe we can do some grocery shopping on the weekend? You won’t mind going with me, will you?”

The weekend? That was still two days away. Luke was going to make sure Jimmy had something to eat before then. “Sure, be happy to.”

“You sure? I can do it on my own.”

“Jimmy, I like spending time with you. It doesn’t have to be dates or sex or some sort of organized activity, you know. Just you and me, doing everyday things.” Luke liked the everyday things. They spoke of commitment and stability and maybe, just maybe, forever.

“Luke, I lo—” Jimmy cut himself off, and Luke held his breath, waiting. “I like spending time with you, too. You make everything better.”

Had Jimmy been about to drop the L word? Excitement fizzed through his veins. Maybe it was stupid of him, but the word had formed in his mouth more than once in recent days, and wanted to escape out into the world. He’d never felt like this before, and he could only attribute it to being in love. Yes, it was fast, but he’d already done the traditional marriage thing and failed miserably. The timeline didn’t need to conform to anyone else’s rules but theirs, and he knew his own mind and what he wanted.

He wasn’t quite ready to say it yet, either, but soon. Soon, the urge to say it would be stronger than his fear that Jimmy didn’t feel the same way.

“When the play is done… we’ll make a date for you to meet my son, right?”

Jimmy gasped. “Really? You’ve told him about me?”

Oh. “Well, no, not yet. I mean, it’s not like I need his approval, but… we’re together right? Just you and me, seeing where this goes?”

“Yeah, Luke. Just you and me.” Jimmy’s voice was high and tight, like he was trying not to cry. Maybe springing emotional stuff on him wasn’t a good idea when he was exhausted and starving.

“Then you need to meet my son.”

“Okay. Yeah, that’s good.” Jimmy cleared his throat. “I’d like you to meet my family, too.”

Luke smiled. Just him and Jimmy, seeing where it went. And it looked like it was going somewhere serious.

L
UKE
STOOD
in the foyer near where he’d first spoken to Jimmy. He just hoped that coming out to speak with lingering audience members was something the cast did every performance and that it wasn’t something special for the opening weekend shows. Otherwise, he’d wasted money on yet another ticket for
Walking Wounded
. Jimmy had been great, again, but Luke knew him so much better now. Jimmy’s indefatigable energy was gasping its last.

He understood why Jimmy had felt the need to agree to supervise the girls basketball team during another teacher’s sick leave, but evidence of the strain on Jimmy was clear to him, even if no one else saw it. The sad thing was, his friend Damian was the substitute teacher covering, but he couldn’t even help share in the duties because of the school’s policy about faculty advisors for extracurricular activities. Damian didn’t qualify, and if Jimmy hadn’t said yes, they would have had to cancel the basketball team for the year. Jimmy didn’t want to let that happen, but the extra responsibility was taking its toll. Luke saw it in Jimmy’s eyes and heard it in his voice.

Luke cleared his throat and shifted back and forth. A couple of men caught his eye and smiled. Luke smiled back but didn’t hold eye contact. It was possible that coming to a play by himself, intending to ambush one of the lead actors with food like a fretful Italian momma, was just a little bit pathetic. After he’d hung up with Jimmy last night he’d thought it was perfect. A little romantic, and a way he could take care of a man who was coming to mean everything when he wasn’t around. Now that he was here by himself, he felt conspicuous and possibly stalkerish.

Before he could completely lose his nerve and leave, Jimmy burst out into the waiting audience with a wide smile. Luke couldn’t take his eyes off him, and the sheer joy that had made Jimmy glow that first day… well, it wasn’t gone, but it was muted. Unless Luke was just imagining things.

Then Jimmy laughed at something one of the men said to him. The brittle, tight edge to his laugh, one Luke had only started to hear the past couple of days, was unmistakable. His lover needed a break, but Luke didn’t think Jimmy would take one until this play was done.

Regardless of his concern for Jimmy, the guy was still stunning. Luke smiled and leaned back against the wall, content to watch Jimmy do his thing.

As though he could feel the weight of Luke’s stare, Jimmy cocked his head and looked around. Do-or-die time. Jimmy’s reaction, unprompted, was going to tell Luke whether he’d made the right decision or not.

Jimmy turned his head, gaze finally landing on him. Jimmy’s eyes widened, before a huge smile brightened his face. Luke let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. There was no hesitation, no anger. Like that first night, Jimmy arrowed in on him to the exclusion of everyone else, and this time, Luke didn’t have any fear of the unknown. Anything he didn’t know about Jimmy yet, he was eager to learn—nothing to be afraid of.

“Luke. What are you doing here?” Jimmy leaned in as though he was going to kiss him but glanced around and stopped like he’d hit an invisible wall.

“I missed you.” Fingering the rainbow knit of his scarf, Luke realized he’d let fear govern too many of his actions. The audience members of this play had to be gay friendly; this was a safe place. A place without judgment. Luke was here solely because he wanted to see Jimmy, wanted to make him feel better. Stupid to pretend otherwise, because each time he saw Jimmy the temptation to touch and kiss him got stronger.

Luke took another glance around the room. He wasn’t the only one with eyes on Jimmy. It wasn’t like he wanted to put a stamp of ownership on him—he was more mature than that—but he couldn’t deny he wanted to claim Jimmy as his own. Which was a completely foreign feeling for him, and he wanted to revel in it.

Setting his bag down, he stepped into Jimmy’s personal space. Then he cupped Jimmy’s face in his hands and kissed him. Shock vibrated through Jimmy for a split second before Jimmy slid his arms around Luke’s waist.

Luke couldn’t let go of his lifetime of reticence to lose himself as completely as he did when they were alone in the dressing room, but resisting these urges had been so damned hard, the relief of letting go was almost orgasmically beautiful.

Jimmy pulled back, eyes reddened but smiling. He sniffed. “Hi.”

“Hi. Why the tears?” Luke kept his voice low, because he didn’t want to embarrass Jimmy.

With fists clenched in Luke’s sweater at the small of his back, Jimmy looked at him as though he were the only man in the world, and there was no denying Luke liked it. Loved it.

“I just thought… I wasn’t sure….” Jimmy closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “I wanted, so badly, for you to just kiss me. Just because. I thought, eventually, you’d be ready but I… it’s much sooner than I expected.”

Gales of laughter from across the room burst the little tiny bubble that had encased them for a few moments, buffering them from the rest of the world.

“But seriously. What are you doing here? How’d you get in?”

Surely Jimmy didn’t think he’d snuck in or anything. “Bought another ticket, of course.”

Since the other options were limited to breaking in or bribery, Jimmy’s obvious surprise should probably offend him.

“To see the play again?”

He lifted a shoulder. “Nope. To see one of the cast members. And to bring him a little gift.”

There was no mistaking the surprise and pleasure on Jimmy’s face. “A gift?”

Reluctantly, Luke pulled out of Jimmy’s arms and stooped to grab the handles of the paper bag he’d set down earlier. He pulled out a single red rose.

“This is for you. Well, what’s in the bag is, too, but this you can have now.”

Jimmy took the rose with tentative fingers, and sniffled again. “A flower.”

Luke shrugged. “I’m not much of a flower guy, but I thought you might like it.”

Jimmy’s smile was tremulous but happy; Luke was pleased he’d given in to the temptation. He’d seen other people give the actors flowers that first day, but none for Jimmy, so he’d been afraid Jimmy might not like it.

“I love it. Thank you.”

A theatergoer moved behind Jimmy, jostling him into Luke. Clutching Luke’s biceps, Jimmy smiled at him. “You have no idea how badly I want to see what else is in that bag, but maybe this isn’t the place. Can I introduce you to a couple of my friends before I take you backstage again?”

Getting hot and heavy in the dressing room again was out of the question, and Luke knew it. Now, without the stage makeup on, the signs of Jimmy’s exhaustion were even more visible. He was still the most gorgeous guy he’d ever spoken to, but the bubbly veneer was cracking like frozen asphalt. Luke wasn’t going to do anything to make Jimmy worse.

His momentary pause put shadows in Jimmy’s eyes. “It’s okay if you’re not ready. I mean… I just thought when you mentioned me meeting your son….”

“I’m ready.” And surprisingly eager. He’d kissed a man in public. He was going to introduce him to his family. The terror and confusion and paralyzing uncertainty weren’t entirely gone, but finding the Rainbow Blues, Bennett, and now Jimmy were rapidly banishing those isolating forces. He still had half his life before him, and this time he wanted to live for himself. With Jimmy.

“Can I… should I….” Jimmy pursed his lips then huffed, although Luke didn’t know which of them he was exasperated with. “Can I introduce you as my boyfriend? I’m okay if you just want to—”

Luke pressed a finger over Jimmy’s lips. “Yes, of course. I mean… that’s what we are, right? It’s just you and me? Exclusive?”

For his part, Luke had been exclusive since he’d laid eyes on Jimmy, and he’d thought they were both fully invested in a serious relationship, but they’d never actually come right out and said so in those exact words.

“Oh yes.” Jimmy’s lips moved under Luke’s finger, his voice breathy as his eyes darkened and glittered. The tip of Jimmy’s talented tongue slipped out, touching Luke’s skin and shocking him back into full arousal. His cock and balls were going to mutiny if he kept getting riled up and then having to settle down without sating them both, especially since Jimmy was running on fumes. And if they found themselves anywhere with a bed or couch, Jimmy was going to pass the hell out. He’d love to tell Jimmy he needed to quit the substitute coaching job, but this wasn’t the time or place to even broach that discussion.

“Hey now. Cut that out. I don’t want to meet your friends with a raging erection.”

Jimmy smiled wickedly but thankfully stepped back so Luke could breathe. “They wouldn’t mind, and you’d make a fantastic first impression.”

Luke rolled his eyes, hoping to distract from the heat in his cheeks.

“C’mon, boyfriend. Let’s meet some people so you can give me my present.”

Boyfriend. It was a good word, and in Jimmy’s honeyed voice? A great word. Stupendous.

T
WENTY
MINUTES
later, Jimmy led Luke—his boyfriend—backstage. Luke showing up had been such an incredible surprise, making a long, stressful day much more bearable. But a public kiss? A red rose? Introducing Luke as his boyfriend? The thrill of it was still sparking in his veins, giving him a better buzz than a piña colada with a rum runner chaser.

That Luke had brought him a gift as well? It was certainly better than Christmas, especially since he’d spent Christmas being wildly jealous of his siblings’ families. Not that he wanted kids himself, but he’d rather not have his nieces and nephews grow up wondering why their weird Uncle Jimmy was a lonely old queen.

They sat down on a scruffy couch that Jimmy had napped on more than once. He’d probably fall asleep in a Pavlovian response if it weren’t for the fact he’d miss out on Luke’s gift.

Reaching out to the bag, he noticed his fingers trembling, and he grabbed at the handles before Luke could notice.

“I can’t remember the last time a boyfriend brought me a gift just because.” He crumpled the top of the paper bag in his suddenly clenched fists. Christmas and birthdays, yes, he got gifts, and ones without much thought behind them, too. Out of the blue, I was thinking of you? Never. Not once.

“Well, that’s not right.”

Maybe it wasn’t, but that only proved that his instinct about Luke being the “one” was spot on. Weirdly, he was almost afraid to look in the bag, though. And if he’d been looking in the bag, he would have missed the look of consternation on Luke’s face.