Rainbow Boys (13 page)

“Then why’d you come to all those games with me?”

Kyle stared out the window. He’d gone to all the games because he wanted to be with his dad. He wished he could say that.

“From now on,” his dad said softly, “I won’t ask you to come with me anymore.” Kyle should’ve felt relieved and happy, but he didn’t.

They arrived home to his mom’s cheery smile. “Hi, guys. How’d it go?”

“Fine,” Kyle said, and hurried up to his room, not wanting to talk.

Later that evening he overheard bits of conversation: “Just listen to him,” his mom said.

“He doesn’t realize what he’s setting himself up for.” That was his dad, of course. “He’s making a foolish decision.” The choice stuff again. Kyle tried to do some homework, but couldn’t concentrate.

Someone tapped on the door. “Hi.” His father strolled in, trying to force a smile.

“Hi,” Kyle said. He hoped and prayed they weren’t going to continue the fight.

His dad jingled his pocket change. “A nything you want to talk about?”

Kyle thought, Why bother? You’re not going to change your mind, and neither am I. So he said, “No.” His dad looked relieved. “Well, there’s one other question I need to ask, son. Since you brought all this up. Is there anything else we should know? A bout your health?”

Kyle knew what he was worried about: HIV. A s if Kyle had any reason to worry about that yet. “No, I’m fine.” His dad reached over to spin Kyle’s cap around. “Well, that’s a relief.”

Kyle pulled away. “I don’t like when you do that.”

His dad withdrew his hand. “Okay. I won’t do it anymore.” He gave Kyle a forlorn look. “Good night, son.” Kyle watched the door close. That hadn’t been so excruciating. Even if his dad never accepted his being gay, at least he might stop treating him like a kid.

He still felt awful about hitting Nelson. He felt even more confused about the conversation that had led up to it. Why had Nelson wanted to make out with him? It almost seemed as if Nelson had a crush on him. But that was crazy. Kyle couldn’t figure it out, so he’d decided simply to let Nelson cool off. He bought the new Nancy Boy CD as a peace offering and brought it to school the Monday after Thanksgiving.

“Hi,” Kyle said, walking up behind him.

Nelson turned and studied him, as if debating whether to stay angry.

Kyle quickly handed him the CD. “I got you this. I’m sorry about … how’s your jaw?” Nelson looked down at the CD. “Okay.” He relinquished a slight smile. “I may be queer, but I’m not frail.” Kyle gave a sigh, relieved. “How was your Thanksgiving?”

“Pathetic.” Nelson shrugged. “The usual bullshit. My dad promised to call and didn’t. My mom bought me some clothes.”

“Those are nice,” Kyle said, pointing to the jeans hanging off Nelson’s hips.

“Thanks. Hey, look!”

Kyle turned. Mueller had finished yelling at some freshman for chewing gum and was talking to MacTraugh.

“Do you think he’s talking to her about the GSA ?” Kyle asked.

A fter school, they went to her classroom to find out. She was rearranging students’ artwork on the wall.

Nelson helped her take down a painting. “Did Herr Führer say anything about our group?” MacTraugh handed him a new picture, smiling wryly. “I’m not sure who you mean.”

“He means Mr. Mueller,” Kyle said, tearing off some masking tape.

“Oh, yes. He said he got a call from Fenner Farley’s dad.”

“Bible-thumper Fenner?” Nelson asked.

McTraugh nodded. “I told you to expect opposition, didn’t I?”

“Well, no one is going to stop us. Kyle found out about this law on the Internet. What’s it called, Kyle?”

“The Federal Equal A ccess A ct.”

MacTraugh laughed, massaging her fingers. “Yes, you certainly made Mr. Mueller aware of it. I don’t think he’s against the group on principle. But it’s a new idea and so it’s presenting some difficulties. We should prepare information for the next PTA meeting. Nelson, can you ask your mom to call me?” She turned to Kyle, and he knew what she was wondering.

He cleared his throat. “I came out to my mom and dad like you suggested.”

“Did everything go all right?”

“It went okay. I’m glad I told them … I think.”

A fter helping MacTraugh clean up, Kyle and Nelson walked home together, agreeing how glad they were that MacTraugh was on their side. They didn’t notice the pickup truck barreling down the street, until a beer bottle flew out its window. Nelson yanked Kyle aside just in time. The bottle hurled past Kyle’s head and smashed onto the concrete walk, shattering into little brown pieces.

The pickup squealed past. “Faggots!” yelled a voice.

Kyle’s heart thundered against his chest. “Did you see their license plate?”

“I know that truck,” Nelson said. “It’s José’s.”

“He could’ve killed me!”

“Duh!” said Nelson, fumbling for a cigarette.

It took Kyle a while to settle down. A s they resumed their walk home, he thought how he and Nelson were in the same boat, and felt close to him again. It made Kyle want to confide in him about holding hands with Jason. But he didn’t want Nelson to wig out again.

They’d barely made up. Then he remembered how hurt Nelson had felt when he hadn’t told him about going to Jason’s house.

“I want to tell you something,” Kyle said, adjusting his cap. “But I’m afraid you’ll get angry.” Nelson stopped and lit a cigarette. “Give me a hint. Could it by any remote chance have to do with someone you think about three hundred sixty-five days a year, twenty-four hours a day?”

“How’d you know?”

“I called the Psychic Friends Hot Line.”

Kyle regretted having said anything, but now that he’d started, he decided to go through with it. “We went to the movies.” Nelson stared expectantly at him. “You went on a date?” “It wasn’t a date.” Kyle braced himself. “Except we held hands.” A mazement filled Nelson’s voice. “You held hands?”

Kyle nodded. “But he didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Oh, right. He was just checking your pulse?”

“No, I just—I don’t know. He’s not interested in me, I know that.”

“Kyle, wake up. Two guys don’t hold hands unless they’re interested in each other.” Kyle wasn’t convinced. “He probably just wanted to see what it felt like.”

“A n experiment for science class?” Nelson grabbed Kyle’s arm. “Read my lips: Jason is queer. A nd he’s stuck on you.”

“He is not,” Kyle said, pulling his arm away. “He’s just confused. He has a girlfriend.”

“No, you, girlfriend, are the one who’s confused.” He turned to face Kyle square on. “Kyle, are you trying to protect me?” Kyle adjusted his glasses. “What?”

“You keep denying what’s so obvious between you and Jason, like you’re afraid I’m going to be jealous. Well, I’m not. I’m over it. You can do whatever you want. Don’t worry about me. I don’t care. Okay?” He puffed on his cigarette.

Then it struck Kyle. Of course. Nelson was jealous. Suddenly all Nelson’s weirdness made sense—his wanting to make out, his digs at Jason.

“Okay?” Nelson repeated.

Kyle nodded silently, unsure how else to respond.

Nelson felt like Kyle had punched him in the jaw again. “I can’t believe those two little weasels held hands!” He paced back and forth while Shea ordered beauty supplies on-line.

“I thought you said you were over him.”

“I am!” Nelson snubbed out his cigarette. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Shea shrugged her shoulders. “You brought it up. Hey, you just got an instant message from someone named”—she squinted at the screen—“HotLove69? Is that a joke? Who is it?”

Nelson rushed over to the desk. “Uh … he’s a guy.” He often chatted with guys on-line, though he’d never actually met one in person.

Shea gave him a suspicious look. “Where do you know him from?”

Nelson leaned over her shoulder, reluctant to tell her. “On-line.”

“On-line!” she said, like she was his mother. “What’s his real name?”

“I don’t know. What difference does it make?”

“Nelson, how do you know he’s not some perv?”

“He’s not a perv. He sent me a JPEG. Look.” He opened the photo of a muscled young man with blond hair and steel blue eyes leaning on a motorcycle. “Isn’t he totally gorgeous?”

Shea examined the screen. “How old is he? Sixty-nine?”

“Ha-ha. Twenty-nine.”

“So, what’s he want with a seventeen-year-old?”

Nelson gave a disappointed sigh. “So far, nothing.” He sat down on the bed.

Shea raised an eyebrow. “A re you doing this to get back at Kyle?”

“God! Would you stop analyzing me?”

Shea came over and sat beside him. “I’m sorry. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid?” She took his hand and laced her fingers between his.

“I won’t do anything stupid. I promise.”

She smiled. “Hey, Caitlin’s mom said we could have a party for the group Saturday night. Maybe Jeremy will come. I still think you two would hit if off.”

Nelson thought about it. Jeremy was extremely cute and closer to his age. Maybe he should talk with him. But what would he say? He’d never put the make on anyone—except Kyle, and look what that had gotten him.

Parties for the Rainbow group were tame affairs, with parents watchfully hovering upstairs. A lcohol wasn’t allowed, though inevitably someone had a bottle in a car. Sometimes the parties were exclusively guys or all girls, other times they were mixed. Occasionally a couple would get busted for sex in a back bedroom, but normally everyone left the party as horny as they’d arrived. Nelson brought some CDs, and Shea accompanied him to the stereo.

“Hey, look who’s here.” Shea waved across the room. “Hi, Jeremy!”

Nelson looked over. “He’s wearing a tie? What kind of geek wears a tie to a party?”

“Shut up.” Shea glared at him. “You haven’t even met him yet. Be nice. Here he comes.” Shea introduced them, and Jeremy extended his hand to Nelson. “Hi. I remember you from the meeting. You’re pretty funny.”

“Thanks.” Nelson looked more closely at Jeremy’s tie—a cool design of red A IDS awareness ribbons. Maybe Jeremy wasn’t such a geek.

“Hey, Jeremy!” Caitlin shouted from the fireplace. “Help us with this log.” Jeremy turned to Nelson. “My brother has a fireplace. I guess that makes me an expert. Talk to you later.” Nelson watched him walk away and turned to Shea. “See? He’s not interested in me.”

“He said”—Shea sounded irked—“he’d talk to you—”

“Look!” Nelson interrupted. “There’s Blake. He’s such a babe. I think God created him just to torture me.” He’d always had the hots for Blake, a junior at A merican University. Unfortunately Blake already had a boyfriend.

Shea handed Nelson a Coke. “Did you hear he broke up with Dane?”

Nelson nearly choked on the drink. “No way! They’ve been together forever.” He felt bad for Blake, but … hm … “You sure?”

“I just found out about it. Hold on, Caitlin’s signaling me. I’ll be right back.” Nelson fixed his gaze on Blake, who stood alone by the mirror, stretching his arms. His thick biceps nearly burst his shirt apart. His jeans hugged his butt.

Nelson was thinking how he would give anything to get into those pants, when Blake noticed him looking and smiled. “How’s it going?” Shit! Was Blake really talking to him? Nelson swallowed the lump in his throat. “Good. How about you?” Blake ran a hand through his hair. “I almost didn’t come. I felt kind of down, but I didn’t want to stay home.” Nelson nodded. “Sorry to hear about you and Dane.” Sympathetic. Caring. Horny.

“You heard, huh?”

“You guys were like a model couple for the rest of us.”

“Really?” Blake stared at the fire. “We came out together. We were each other’s firsts…. Together two years …” He looked at his watch.

“You don’t want to hear all this.”

Nelson shrugged enthusiastically. “I don’t mind.”

“It’s hard breaking up,” Blake sighed. “Especially with your first love. I think the first time you have sex with someone it’s, like, really special. You always remember it, you know?” He paused as though expecting agreement.

Nelson wanted to say something, but what? He wasn’t about to admit he was a virgin. A nd he definitely couldn’t say what he wanted—

that he’d be glad for Blake to be his first.

“I need a drink,” Blake whispered. “Something stronger than this.” He leaned toward Nelson, squeezing his shoulder. “I have some rum in my car. You want some?”

Nelson’s heart leapt into his throat. Blake, who hardly ever even spoke to him, was inviting him to his car? Nelson thought he must be dreaming.

Blake cocked his head toward the door. “You coming?”

Nelson swallowed his heart back down his throat, praying he wouldn’t wake up.

He hurried alongside Blake down the cold street, trying not to seem overeager. Blake climbed into the car, popping the lock for Nelson.

Nelson took a deep breath and got in. “Nice car,” he said agreeably, though he didn’t really like stick shifts. He wiped his face. The chill wind had made his eyes water.

Blake turned the heat on and grabbed a bottle from between the seats. “You like rum?” The only rum Nelson had ever tried was in rum raisin ice cream. “It’s my usual,” he lied.