Raphael (The Immortal Youth Book 1) (9 page)

For the next three hours, Raphael only knew agony. The stigma’s pointed end wasn’t as smooth as a needle at all, and every time it broke his skin felt like a laceration. The inking paste was, as he had envisioned, acid. To top it all, the leek juice Guts administered every few minutes on his tortured skin made every cut sting, sending shooting pain throughout his whole body.

The entire time, the two men talked about their latest conquests in brutal details. Raphael didn’t dare faint in case Luisa’s name would come up. Thankfully, it didn’t happen. What could he do about it anyway? Spit on Rico? Call him names in Latin? But if he owned her, why hadn’t he mentioned her once? Bleak despair possessed Raphael then, and he closed his eyes to will the tears away.

Finally, Guts raised the stigma from Raphael’s chest and didn’t lower it again. “We’re done.”

The sponge was wet and abrasive on his mangled skin, but Raphael was far away from that chair. In his mind, his wolf was running alongside Luisa’s in a meadow bathed by silvery light. They had been playing for a while and they were tired. Wolf nuzzled her flank and she plopped to the ground, nipping at him. With a joyous bark, Wolf pounced on her, his teeth grazing her back, when she rolled to her belly and showed him her throat.

“You’re a tough son of a bitch. I’ll give you that, pup.” Rico sounded close. “That’s lots of blood, isn’t it?”

“Yep, he bled quite a bit, but it’s also one of the few times I finish the design in one session, and he didn’t even take anything to dull the pain,” Guts answered.

Something dry, a towel maybe, was passed over Raphael’s chest.

“Only Tancredi is capable of that.” Guts’s voice had a tinge of awe.

Loud steps resonated into the room. “Until now.”

“Alpha—”

The dry cloth was hastily removed from Raphael’s skin, and he opened his eyes to find three men staring down at him with different emotions showing on their faces. Rico’s eyes glinted with greed. Guts was satisfied by his work. Tancredi had the most disconcerting look, pride.

“I knew the moment I saw you that you were special.” Tancredi’s lips shaped up in a thin smile, his piercings caught the light from the overhead lamp and sparkled like diamonds.

“I finally got the little brother I deserved.” Rico placed a hand over Raphael’s shoulder.

“A handful is what you got,” Guts whispered as he untied the restraining cuffs, starting with Raphael’s head strap.

Tancredi stepped away from the chair and exited the cone of light. “Come, son. The final part of the ceremony awaits you.”

Rico reached down to help Raphael, but Raphael pushed himself up, without accepting the man’s hand. Swaggering, he followed the sound of Tancredi’s steps out of that horror chamber. Rico and Guts tailed after him, whispering.

Walking back to the main hall felt surreal to Raphael. Something was different about him. He couldn’t pinpoint what had changed, but the lights, the colors, the scents, all he sensed with a different spirit. As if his heart was encapsulated in an icy glove, he looked around and saw people smiling, laughing, congratulating him, but he wasn’t affected by their enthusiasm. Soon after he had started doubting Luisa was there, he stopped caring and welcomed the pain from the needle.

Tancredi talked to him, words of reassurance. Rico boasted about being his big brother. Guts recounted the feat. At every step, a detail was added to the tale, until the whole story reached epic proportions in the span of a few meters. Along the hallway, soon after Raphael met Rock’s gentle stare, Guts resumed his position by the wall, while Rico, parading as a peacock, strolled after Tancredi and Raphael on their journey toward the throne.

Once on the dais, the alpha raised one hand. Not that he needed the gesture to gain any attention. The crowd was riveted on the spot. Expectant eyes focused on the trio, as the Reds waited in religious silence for the alpha to talk.

“Sons of mine. Proud Reds. I present you one of us. Raphael, who knocked at our doors as an untrained civilian, became a prospect by entering the tattoo chamber, and emerged from it as a Red through and through.”

At first, Raphael didn’t understand the significance of Tancredi’s words. The rest of the hall remained still like a tableaux. Then, the crowd went crazy with applauses, cheers. Boots stomped so loud on the marble tiles, the whole floor shook. Pushed by overexcited hands, the braziers swung back and forth touching the walls and spilling ashes.

To the side, there was a commotion as two different jackets were passed among the Reds. One garment went down the line while the other reached Rico, who stepped out, waited for Tancredi to nod, then presented the jacket to Raphael, who in turn gave it to the alpha.

“May the Red Wolf be with you,” Tancredi intoned.

The crowd answered at the unison, “To the end of time.”

“Ever and ever.” The alpha placed a patch over the jacket. “You’ll make me proud,” he whispered just for Raphael. Then he brought both items to his lips and brushed jacket and patch separately. When he raised them for the crowd to see, another long applause exploded, and it was only stopped by Tancredi’s call for silence.

Finally, the alpha offered the jacket to Raphael once again, and Raphael saw the detached patch on top of it. The letter on it wasn’t a “P”, but a crimson red “R.”

“There’s a first for everything,” Tancredi said, then added in a lower voice, “Well, you’re the first after me, but it wouldn’t do to point that out.” He chuckled softly. “You are a Red now. Choose a girl for the night.” Tancredi pointed at his left, where a tall, carved wooden screen barred the entry to a second hallway.

Squinting, Raphael noticed shapes moving behind the screen. Then the panel was pushed aside by one of the Reds, and girls appeared from behind. Lots of them, their heads low and their hands before them as they silently walked before Tancredi in a long line.

A sudden burst of joy exploded in Raphael’s heart. Luisa was among them. He sensed her scent. His wolf felt her wolf and howled.

Tancredi laughed. “Saw something you like?”

Raphael hadn’t realized he had let Wolf out but nodded, his eyes scanning the procession of girls filling the hallway.

One by one, they walked by the dais. All scantily dressed, redheads, blondes, brunettes, short hair, long hair, tall, slim, curvaceous, pale, tanned, freckled, paraded for Raphael. Their hesitant steps, their lowered shoulders, the way they sought each other when they passed the throne and bundled up further away along the corridor, all betrayed their uneasiness.

Toward the end of the line—only a few girls were left behind the screen—one shaved head came into sight. Raphael’s heart, already galloping, sped up, leaving him breathless.

Breaking protocol, the girl, his Luisa who had changed so much, raised her chin to meet his stare. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. She was wearing nothing more than a thin slip that revealed too much, and she hugged herself.

“I want this one,” Raphael hurried to say, indicating Luisa.

“My skinny bitch?” Rico asked, and was immediately stared down by Tancredi. “It’s not customary to ask for a spoken girl—”

With a tilt of his head, the alpha shut Rico. “As it’s not customary to go from recruit to Red in one night.”

Visibly swallowing, Rico fisted his hands to the side. “Yes, but—”

“Are you gainsaying me, Rico?”

As if slapped, Rico bowed his head. “If you command it, he can have any one of my girls,” he amended with his eyes on Luisa, who paled. “She isn’t the best I can offer to my little brother. That’s all.”

“My new son has chosen. You—” Tancredi pointed one of his ringed fingers at Luisa. “Follow him to his bedroom, and be sure to please him.”

Escorted by Rico and a loud posse of brothers, Raphael and Luisa walked down to the third floor and his new quarters. After several unwanted suggestions on how to spend the night and put Luisa to good use, the other Reds left.

To Raphael’s utter dislike, Rico lingered. “You could’ve anyone you wanted tonight—”

Raphael didn’t let Rico finish. “See you tomorrow.”

Finally Rico moved out of the doorway, and Raphael closed and locked the door, then leaned against it. The moment he heard the werewolf’s steps dim farther away along the corridor, he slid to his knees and circled Luisa’s legs with his arms, making sure not to crush her with his cast.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Tired as never before, Raphael inhaled her scent, drawing strength from her presence. “I’ve missed you so much it hurts.”

Luisa placed her hands on either side of his neck, and his eyes were drawn up to her face. Already small, during their estrangement the vibrant girl he had fallen in love with had become thin and emaciated. His heart aching, he took a moment to see through the superficial signs he had noticed at first.

Where once long, auburn tresses had cascaded down her shoulders, now her hair stood unevenly chopped to her scalp. Her complexion was so pale it was clear she hadn’t seen the sun in a long while. Under his gaze, Luisa’s green eyes—now haunted and too big for her face—locked with his for a moment. Then she blinked, subtly shook her head and leaned away from him.

“Baby, oh baby—” His good arm traveling up to her waist, he pulled her back to him and hid his face against her stomach. “I’ve dreamed about this moment, us, for too long. Please, don’t push me away.” Brushing her hand with his lips, he whispered, “I need to touch you, fill my lungs with your scent, caress your ache away. I need to feel you and make sure you’re real.”

During the long hours at the office, when Iris drove him insane, or when he was alone in his apartment, and even when he was at the social center, Raphael had constantly thought of Luisa. He imagined hundreds of scenarios where they met again, and in all of them he called her baby and she leaned into his kisses.

Now, he was too overwhelmed by her presence. By the fresh cuts on the wrist he had just reverently kissed. By her badly shaven scalp. By the old bruises revealed by her skimpy slip. By the new ones. By how frail she felt in his arms. But most of all, he was overwhelmed by the aura of hopelessness radiating from her in tangible waves. Her pain hurt him.

“You’re here.” She sobbed and her tears rained down on him.

“I’m here.” Feeling the pull of her big eyes and her soft lips, he gently pulled her down with him and caressed her jaw. “Luisa—” He trembled as he lowered his mouth to hers for their first kiss.

When their lips touched, his heart slammed against his ribcage. He gently pressed against her bottom lip, caressing it with his, his tongue softly skimming the ridge of her teeth. She tilted her head and he lowered his hand to her shoulder, then to her back, pressing her to him. He tasted her mouth in slow, gentle strokes. Dizziness overcame him, and he breathed through her, not wanting to sever the connection through their bodies. Because he was giving her his heart and soul in that kiss and would never be whole again without her.

“Raphael—” She shivered and inched away from him, separating them, then burrowed closer into his embrace.

“I’m here, baby.” With the strength only desperation can give, he kissed her again, brushing her lips, then whispered, “I can’t live without you.” His cast arm impeded him from fully embracing her and he hated it. “I know it sounds impossible, because we’ve only met twice and for only a few minutes at a time, but it’s enough to me.” He brushed her nose. “I’ve fallen in love with you at fourteen, that first night when you saved me from the enforcer, and I already knew then you were my life mate.”

Shaking her head again, Luisa whispered against his mouth, “Raphael—”

With a long kiss, he silenced her then said, “Without a doubt, I know. My wolf knows.” He would never look at another girl the way he looked at her. His heart would never beat as fast for another girl as it did for Luisa. “I love you.”

“I never thought I would ever see you again.” She pushed away from him a second time, her big eyes studying his. “Why are you here?”

He lowered his forehead to hers, his breathing too ragged and his heart beating too fast. “I promised I would find you.”

She brought one hand to his cheek and caressed it. “You shouldn’t have. The Reds are horrible people. They’ll force you to do horrible things.” New tears stained her cheeks, and she turned to the side. “They’ll break you and change you and I’m not worth it.”

Unable to process all the emotions he felt at once, he washed away his anger at the world by letting himself cry. Then he took her mouth for a fierce kiss. “Never say that. I’d give my life for you. I’d do anything for you.” He pressed her to him tighter, his hand caressing her back in frantic motions, wanting to erase with his touch all the damage done to her. “I’ll find a way to free you from them.” He brought her wrists to his lips and brushed the cuts marring her skin, starting with the fresh ones that were already healing. Then he helped her up and saw all the blood covering her slip. “Luisa—”

Looking down, she gasped and brought both hands to her mouth. “What happened to you?”

Confused, he followed her eyes to the front of his tunic and saw he was the one bleeding, not her. As if all the events of the day had finally caught up with him, Raphael felt lightheaded and staggered toward the bed, built inside the alcove in the corner of the room.

Once he sat on the edge of the bed, she kneeled by him on the soft carpet. “Let me see.” She peeled his tunic open by slowly raising its lapels away. At the sight of his tattoo, she cried. “What did they do to you?”

“Roman initiation, apparently.” He tried to smile, but it was hard when the room spun around him.

“It takes several sessions to finish the wolf—” Eyes wide, she tightened her hold on his tunic lapels and her knuckles whitened. “Why did they force you to endure such torture?”

“Well, I didn’t know I had the option to cry uncle, so I just went along with it. No big deal.” With the last remnant of his strength, he put a finger under her chin and gently raised it until she was looking at him, and not at his chest. “I got a promotion out of it. Youngest Red or fastest to become one, either way I’m a tough one.”

She snorted and it sounded adorable coming from her. Then her expression darkened. “That day, I went back to Mattatoio, hoping you would come—”

“The controller sent me to RYS, but when I got back to Rome I looked for you at the social center. I asked everyone, but nobody knew you or they didn’t want to talk to me. Then around two months ago, a friend of mine, Carla, told me about this girl named Luisa who had tried to escape from the Reds and had hidden at Mattatoio. Next morning, I came here and asked to join the gang.”

“I can’t believe you really looked for me.” Luisa’s eyes filled with tears again.

“Of course I did, you are my mate.” With his thumb, he wiped her face dry and tilted his head to give her a more convincing smile. “Don’t cry, baby. Everything’s turned out just fine.”

Laughing a nervous laugh, she pointed at his bleeding tattoo, at his cast, at all his bruises. “Does this look fine to you?”

He shrugged and tried to pull her closer to him with his hand, but she resisted so he said, “I’ll heal. Next moon, we’ll be both as good as new.” A lie, like the ones he told himself every night when he still lived with his father.

She smiled then and rested her head on his leg. “I’ve thought of you all the time. Because of you, I rebelled against Rico.” Her fingers played with the hem of his tunic. “I never wanted to be his.”

The macabre pattern of her own bruises and cuts gave Raphael chills, and he caressed her head feeling where the razor had shaved her hair too close to the scalp. “What did he do to you?” His wolf cried so loud he couldn’t silence him fast enough. “Sorry, Wolf wants out.”

“My wolf always acts crazy around yours.” Closing her eyes, she relaxed against him.

“What did Rico do to you?” Raphael repeated the question, adding nausea to the long list of nuisances fighting for supremacy at the moment.

“It’s all my family’s fault.” Shivering, she angled her head toward the wall.

“What do you mean?” Bile rose to Raphael’s throat.

“I was sold to the Reds when I was eight, and Tancredi left me alone until I turned fourteen, then he gave me to Rico—”

The room spun faster and he felt like he was on a rollercoaster. “Who sold you to the gang?”

“One of my older brothers. My parents died in an accident and we were put in foster care. I was the youngest of seven, the only girl and the one more likely to be adopted. I was valuable.” She then sat and faced him. “My brother Raul realized he could sell me to the highest bidder.”

“You don’t mean—” Raphael couldn’t say it.

“Not that way. Not then.” Luisa’s eyes unfocused for a moment, then she was back and her expression was cold. “Raul was already dealing drugs for the Reds and when he realized I was worth something, he bartered me for a year of V. Getting rich fast was high on his list of priorities. Being a decent person wasn’t on it at all.”

“Where is he now?” Raphael’s wolf projected his murderous thoughts loud and clear, taking control of Raphael’s emotion and making him crave blood.

“He was greedy but not smart enough and got himself killed because of V.”

His nausea abated a moment, and Raphael changed position so that he could remove the bloodied tunic.

“Let me.” She scooted closer to him and helped him out of the garment, then looked at his chest. “We should clean it.”

Raphael’s eyes went to the second door opening into the room. “That must be the bathroom.” Hoping not to faint, he pressed his good hand down and pushed his legs up, only to fall back to the bed with a loud thump of his cast hitting the wooden frame.

“Wait here.” She went to open the door and turned to nod at him. “I’ll go wet a towel.” The sound of water bursting from a faucet echoed from the bathroom, then Luisa reappeared a moment later with a wet cloth. Lowering herself by his side, she first brushed his lips, then she whispered, “I promise I’ll be gentle.”

He watched as she carefully washed his skin with slow, tender brushes, and couldn’t help a low moan.

“Am I hurting you?”

“Don’t stop.” Breathing hard, he took her hesitating hand and lowered it to his chest, right over his heart. “I need your touch.”

In silence, she cleaned him, running to the bathroom to rinse the blood from the towel several times, until it finally stayed white. Feeling he would burst if he didn’t have his original question answered, he steadied her hand with his and asked once again, “Did Rico ever—” but at the end he couldn’t make himself say the words.

Removing her hand from his hold, she hugged herself and looked down.

A mournful cry erupted from Raphael’s mouth. As he doubled over, lacerating pain hit his solar plexus. His wolf’s reaction was deafening, and Raphael let him roar until his lungs burnt.

Luisa’s small fingers slid through his hair, then she trailed small kisses over his eyes, nose, lips, chin, and throat. “I couldn’t stop him at first.” Her breath caressed his face. “I tried. I escaped, but he found me every time.”

Raphael wiped away the bitter tears falling down his cheeks. “When we met the first time in that apartment, were you on the run?”

“Yes, I was living under Angelo Bridge and I followed a nice couple home. For a few nights, I waited outside on the balcony for them to go to sleep. Then I let myself in, and spent time in the nursery they had prepared for their unborn kid. I pretended to be their daughter. I always left at dawn and erased any trace of my presence.”

“I’m sorry I ruined it for you.” Tilting his head, he managed a small smile for her.

“You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.” She scooted closer, then leaned against the part of his chest that wasn’t tattooed and tucked her head under his chin.

With his good arm, he circled her back in soothing movement. “You’re everything to me. And I’ll kill Rico for hurting you.”

“I don’t want you to even get close to him.”

“Too late for that. I’ve chosen him as my big brother.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because he got you.”

“He’s going to hurt you.”

“I don’t care as long as I can stop him from ever hurting you again.”

“It’s okay now. Rico only beats me, he doesn’t—” Luisa brought her knees up and huddled herself in a tight ball.

With renewed anger, Raphael inwardly cursed at a universe where being hit by a savage bully was the preferable choice, but let her gather her thoughts and waited for her to talk.

“He doesn’t want me anymore.” A little sound, maybe a nervous laugh, escaped her mouth as she rocked herself. “I made myself ugly.”

“You could never be ugly.”

“Rico likes curvaceous girls with long hair and unblemished skin. I was already cutting myself, that’s something that started when I first came here—”

Maneuvering his cast arm around her balled form, Raphael gently coaxed Luisa to open up, then he dropped a kiss on her crown. “That will stop. You’ll never harm yourself again.” He nudged her nose with his. “And you’re beautiful. The most beautiful girl in the whole world. I’ve never seen eyes that color of yours. I’ve never tasted lips as soft. Your scent drives me crazy. Blindfolded, I could find you in a crowd of a thousand people.” His whispers made her shiver and he shivered too in response, his breathing became irregular and his heart thumped louder against his ribcage.

“I.” A kiss on the spot where her earlobe met the column of her throat.

“Love.” A feather-light brush on the hollow of her throat.

“All.” A caress on the small of her back.

“Of.” One-handedly, he grabbed the hem of her slip and torturously raised the bloodied garment over her head.

“You.” Had he not been already sitting, Raphael would have fallen to his knees before the sight of Luisa only wearing pink underwear. Her skin was smeared by his blood that had seeped through the flimsy material of the slip, yet she was still a vision.

Her arms flew to cover her chest as she sank into the mattress. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“You take my breath away.” Reaching out, he took hold of her hand and pulled her toward him.

“I’m bald.”

“The haircut looks good on you.” With a smile, he leaned against her forehead.

“I’m too thin.”

“I love you.” In a different occasion, soon, he would talk her into start eating again but not now. “I’m crazy about you.”

Lowering his mouth toward hers, he felt his wolf demanding to be acknowledged and his heartbeats sped up again. Wolf excitedly pranced around in a meadow, and Luisa’s beautiful chocolate she-wolf entered his line of vision. He howled his pleasure to the night sky, waking critters and bugs.