Raw: Devil's Fighters MC (26 page)

To say that she was at peace would have been an exaggeration, but she did feel better about things. Much as she didn’t like to admit it, Xavier really did seem confident that he had an actual chance of winning this fight. Alyssa allowed herself a few precious moments in which she entertained the idea that he might win, and that this nightmare would soon be over, and that they would all be free. She didn’t linger too much on that blissful image, however, for fear that it might go up in a puff of smoke.

She didn’t quite know what had possessed her to declare that she would go and see the fight with her own eyes. The idea alone terrified her. She didn’t want to see Xavier get hurt, God forbid even killed. But she figured if he was ready to take that risk, then she could swallow her own fears and be there for him. Whatever happened, he didn’t deserve to go through it alone.

Alyssa’s hold around the steering wheel tightened as her body was once again taut with tension. It seemed tension was her permanent state of living now. Her muscles were constantly tight, her neck was constantly rigid. Her heart felt like it had not stopped galloping within her chest ever since she had gotten the news of her parents’ death. She was just
so
tired of all this.

She thought of Bennie Lenday and of the way he and his gang ran this town. She thought of the power the Devil’s Fighters held over everything and everyone in Pinebrook, even over those honest people who had nothing to do with them. Indirectly, everything that happened and did not happen in Pinebrook was a consequence of their actions and decisions. Alyssa felt the familiar hatred mount dangerously in her chest. It wasn’t fair. She wished she could see them destroyed, but she knew that project was bigger than her. Right now, her priority had to be Xavier and getting him out of that nightmare of a life. She hoped, however, that one day the reign of the Devil’s Fighters would end.

Alyssa shook her head. Bennie Lenday and his gang surely did not deserve to be in her head so often and for so long, but she just couldn’t help it. They had taken everything from her, and she would always hate them in a way that she had never hated anything or anyone else. Pure, burning, all-consuming hatred.

She took a deep breath and willed herself to remain calm and focused, knowing that was the only way she would ever get through all this.

When she reached her parents’ house, a red Fiesta was parked outside. Alyssa frowned and parked her own vehicle behind it in the driveway. She climbed out and walked up to the house. To her absolute surprise, sitting on the swing on the front porch, waiting for her, was Anna.

Anna was about the last person Alyssa would have expected to see in Pinebrook. Ever. Anna was Vancouver through and through, not in the sense that she was from the city (she was actually from Edmonton), but in that she represented Alyssa’s life in Canada. Her
other
life, the life that she had come to think of as her real life, the one that had freed her from everything. The one she was jeopardizing by extending her stay in Louisiana and testing her boss’ patience.

She walked up to her friend, actually feeling the stunned expression on her own face. “Anna,” she said, and she couldn’t for the life of her infuse that greeting with enough enthusiasm. “What are you doing here?”

Anna stood. “I thought I’d come to see you—since you don’t seem to want to see us.” There was no malice behind Anna’s words, but in turn, her friend didn’t seem to be able to keep a hint of accusation out of her voice.

They embraced, and if anything, that hug was sincere.

“I’m sorry,” Anna mumbled as she pulled back. “I’m all sticky. It’s so hot here!”

Alyssa laughed. Her friend was wearing denim jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt. “You’re most definitely not dressed for it. I hope you have something lighter in that suitcase of yours.”

Anna cringed. “To be honest, I thought
this
was light,” she said, gesturing to her outfit.

“I’ll get you something you can wear,” Alyssa offered. “Then we’re going shopping. You can’t stay in Louisiana dressed like that.” She fumbled with her keys and went to open her front door. “You’re staying with me, yes?”

Anna hesitated. “I wouldn’t want to put you out. I can find a hotel.”

“Nonsense,” Alyssa said immediately, even though it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to have Anna around at this moment in time. Then again, the woman had hopped on a plane for her; the least she could do was offer her some hospitality. “Come in.”

Twenty minutes later, Anna was dressed in a pair of Alyssa’s denim shorts and a breezy linen tank top. For the second time that morning, Alyssa found herself sitting at a kitchen’s table with a friend. This time, however, she served iced tea.

It was awkward. There was really no other way to describe it. Alyssa didn’t know if Anna could feel it, because she was sure that most of the awkwardness came from her. The last thing she had ever wanted was for her new life in Vancouver and her old life in Pinebrook to cross paths. Pinebrook was too different, too rough and raw. Her friends in Canada wouldn’t understand. Alyssa had never even told Anna about Xavier, and having her friend in her Louisiana kitchen right now was making her incredibly uncomfortable.

She cleared her throat nervously. “Anna, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the visit, but…what are you doing here?”

Anna stared at her with brown eyes that still glinted with a hint of accusation. “I just came back yesterday from Montreal. You know, from that conference you were supposed to attend.”

Alyssa sighed. She would not raise to the bait; she had enough on her plate without adding a fight with one of her best friends on top of everything else. “I know.”

Anna seemed a little put out that Alyssa wasn’t commenting on it, but she shrugged it off and continued, “So I go in to work yesterday morning, and it’s not long before I hear the buzz. Is it true you’d asked Derek for another two weeks?”

Alyssa cringed. “It’s true,” she admitted. “And before you say anything about how selfish I’m being, may I remind you that I have never taken any personal time before.” Okay, so maybe she
was
getting a little defensive. Then again, she felt she was entitled.

Anna raised her hands in a placating gesture. “I wasn’t going to call you selfish,” she said. “I realize why you did it. If I were you, I would be having trouble rejoining the outside world, too.”

You don’t know the half of it,
Alyssa thought grimly. Aloud, she said, “But…?” she guessed.

“But,” Anna began carefully, “Derek is right, Alyssa. We’re swamped. I know it must not seem fair to you that he gave you an ultimatum, but we need you. No one wants to have someone else working in your place; you’re the best we have.”

Alyssa was flattered. Anna had been working at the veterinary clinic a lot longer than she had, and even though she wasn’t an associate, she was the next best thing. To hear her say that Alyssa was such an essential part of their staff was a huge compliment to say the least.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I never meant to cause problems; it’s just…I can’t come back right now.”

“Alyssa—”

“I’ll do my best to come back before the two weeks are up.”

Anna’s brown eyes flashed in annoyance. “What do you mean, ‘you’ll do your best’?”

“There’s stuff that I have to do here,” Alyssa said. “I don’t expect you to understand. But I can’t go until it’s resolved.”

“Damn it, Alyssa—”

“It’s not about my parents,” Alyssa finally snapped.

Anna blinked, confused. “Then, what is it about?”

Alyssa hesitated. How was she going to get out of this? “Don’t worry about it,” she finally dismissed. It sounded weak to her own ears, and predictably, Anna didn’t fall for it.

“Yes, I
do
worry about it,” Anna said, her voice hard. “Excuse me, but I worry about it very much. It’s not even about work. I came to see you to check on you, make sure you’re all right, and what I’m seeing hasn’t reassured me at all.”

Alyssa frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’re
not
all right, Alyssa. That much I know for sure.” Anna watched her intently. “Now, do you want to tell me just what the hell is going on?”

Alyssa swallowed hard. Anna’s penetrating stare and incessant third degree questions were starting to really take their toll. “I can’t,” she said quietly, looking away. “I wish I could tell you, but I can’t.”

The last thing Anna needed was to be exposed to the mess that Alyssa found herself in.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.”

Alyssa’s head snapped up. She all but glared at her friend. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Anna calmly took a sip of her iced tea. “It means I’m not going anywhere until you spill your beans.” Her already delicate features softened further. “I’m worried about you, Alyssa. I’m your friend; I just want to help you.”

Alyssa could feel her defenses cracking. Lynn had been and continued to be an incredible support system, but the fact that she was directly involved made her both closer and further away. What Alyssa needed, she realized now, was a friendly face who had nothing to do with Pinebrook and the Devil’s Fighters.

“If I tell you,” she began carefully, “you have to promise me you won’t repeat it to one soul. You may be tempted to tell Derek in order to make him understand that I’m not being insensitive with my requests of time off, but you
can’t
do that. Understood?”

Anna stared at her. “You’re scaring me a little.”

“Understood?” Alyssa repeated urgently.

After a moment, Anna nodded. “Understood,” she said. “I promise. Now, tell me. What’s going on?”

Alyssa felt compelled to warn her: “It’s a very long story.”

Anna shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere else to be.”

And so Alyssa told her. She told her everything. She told her about how her childhood friendship with Xavier had morphed into something different and bigger as they grew up. She told her about how he was almost always over to her house, trying to escape an alcoholic father whose self-destructive way of life had driven his mother into an early grave. She told her about how their love had blossomed to the point that she had promised Xavier he would get him out of Pinebrook, no matter what. She had told her about how she had put off going to college in order to give him the chance to raise enough money to leave with her, and about how that time had finally come when they were twenty-two years old.

Alyssa told Anna about how Xavier had sprung the news on her the day before they were supposed to leave that he wasn’t going to New York with her, that he was becoming a member of the most ruthless motorcycle gang in the district. She told her about how her heart had broken then, and how she had asked him for an explanation, and how he had been unable to give her a decent one. She told her about how she had believed that his decision had been made because he wanted it that way, and how guilty she still felt about that. She told her about how she had left and lost sight of Xavier for the next eight years.

Then Alyssa told Anna about how they had met again the day of her parents’ funeral, when he had come to look for her at Lynn’s diner where the post-ceremony reception was being held. She told her about how she had not wanted anything to do with him, and how he had knocked at her door with a wounded friend at his side in the middle of the night. She told Anna about how she had fixed Rick up and about what bad shape he was in.

And then she told Anna about the hardest part. She told her about Xavier’s truth. She told her how he had been forced by circumstances to fight in the Devil’s Fighters’ illegal underground rings in order to pay off his father’s debt and save the man’s life. She told her about how he had never told Alyssa anything until now.

Then, she told her about the present. She told her about how they had reconnected and how powerful and all-consuming their passion was. She told her about how they had fallen back in love with each other, stronger and more furious than ever. She told her about how she could not abandon him again. And then Alyssa told Anna about how Xavier had found a way, and how insane and dangerous and possibly suicidal that way was.

By the time she was done, Alyssa felt spent. It was a good kind of spent, the kind that comes over you when you finally let go of a weight that had been hopelessly crushing you. There were tears streaming down her face, but Alyssa did not care; she felt like she had earned those tears, and like she needed them.

Anna looked shocked. Eventually, she came back to herself enough that she found the coordination to rummage for a packet tissues in her purse that hung from the chair she was sitting on. She handed the packet to Alyssa, who took it gratefully and blew her nose loudly.

“Shit, Aly,” Anna said softly, her voice barely there. “It sounds like a story out of a romance novel.”

Alyssa laughed weakly, dabbing at her face with the Kleenex. “I wish it were,” she said, sniffing audibly. “Instead, it’s all horribly true.”

“It
is
horrible,” Anna echoed. “I don’t understand. Why isn’t anyone stopping these guys? What about the police?”

Alyssa smiled at her friend’s naivety. “Half of the police are on Benedict Lenday’s payroll.”

“Oh.” Anna’s face darkened further. “I understand now, you know?”

Alyssa looked at her hopefully. “You do?”

“I do. I mean, I can’t say I understand what it all must be and feel like,” Anna said. “But I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. I understand why you can’t come back.”

“I might,” Alyssa said, blowing her nose again. “The fight is in two days.” Xavier had texted her the date earlier, and her stomach still cramped whenever she thought about how awfully close it was. “If all goes smoothly…” She shook her head, unable to even finish the sentence. “But it’s very unlikely. Even if he wins, chances are he’ll be hurt. I can’t just leave him.”

Anna nodded. “I get it,” she said again. “Listen, Aly, don’t worry about work, all right? I’ll talk to Derek, get you four weeks.”

Alyssa paled. “No!” she exclaimed, alarmed. “You can’t do that, Anna! You promised!”

“Calm down!” Anna said, reaching out to grasp her wrist. “I’m not going to tell him anything about what’s really happening.”

Alyssa watched her skeptically. “You promise?”