Raw: The Ultimate Mc Collection (30 page)

You killed Monty
, that voice returned.  But it was quieter this time, and instead of feeling a thick lump in my throat at the reminder of what I had done, I tasted that sweet taste of freedom again.  My heart fluttered with happiness as I stared across the table at my rescuers, at Riot, and I was overcome with a surge of gratitude.

“Hey guys, I just wanted to thank you all again…for everything,” I said, as Cherry removed our plates.  “I can’t tell you how grateful I am.  I don’t know what I would have done…”  My eyes filled with tears as my voice trailed off.

“You’re welcome, Lacey,” Ryder said.  “We’re happy to help.  Everything’s coming along just fine so far.  We should have you out of here and off to starting your new life before too long.”

“You guys are too wonderful.  I owe you.”

“You don’t owe us a thing,” Riot said, smiling across the table at me.

“Well,” I replied, “someday, somehow, I’ll repay the favor.”

“Well, you don’t worry about that.  Right now, you just need to concentrate on recovering and enjoying the, well…the somewhat…peace and quiet here, until it’s safe for you to leave.”

“I will, thank you,” I said.

“So, how about another boxing lesson today?” Riot said.  Ryder and Doc looked at him in questioningly.  “We walked down to the creek yesterday and she saw my bag,” he explained, shrugging.

“I’d love that!” I replied, a little too enthusiastically.  I welcomed another opportunity to spend time with Riot alone.

“Okay, cool, we can go as soon as you’re ready,” he said.  He turned to Ryder.  “Unless you need me for something this morning?”

“Nope.” Ryder was a man of few words, but his eyes spoke volumes as he looked at Riot.  A silent warning passed between them, and Riot nodded as we stood up and walked outside together.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Riot

My knuckles cracked as I made contact with Slade’s jaw. He had been pestering me for days for another round, and after spending hours in close contact with Lacey alone in the woods while I was teaching her to punch the bag, I needed desperately to work out some physical frustrations.  My cock had throbbed painfully all day and I was proud that I had been able to control myself.  It was getting harder and harder to continue my gentlemanly ways around her.

She was opening up now, the hardness now just a faint flicker in her eyes, as she let her personality slowly emerge in the woods that day, smiling, joking around, and even flirting with me subtly.  She was so beautiful when she smiled that it hurt me to look at her, but I endured it, because the pleasure quickly outweighed the pain.

I hadn’t kissed her all day, waiting to let her make the first move, but she didn’t.  The last thing I wanted to do was come on too strong again, and scare her away.  She was fragile, and despite the comfort that seemed to be settling over her, I knew she needed to do all of this on her own terms - whatever ‘this’ was. 

I tried to keep a tight reign on not just my cock, but also my racing thoughts.  If I let them run away too far, I found myself imagining a future with Lacey, and I knew I was kidding myself about that.

The last thing that woman needed was a life in the MC world.  She needed to start over and finally have a normal life, filled with all the love and happiness I was sure she would find outside of this secluded forest we lived in.

So, I spent the day with her, focused on teaching her to punch the bag and making her laugh.  The sound of her bubbling laughter was like music to my ears, and I couldn’t get enough of it.  Finally, though, after hours of enjoying her, it got to be too much, and I knew I needed a break if I intended to keep my promise to myself not to rip her clothes off and take her right there beside the creek.

We went back to the clubhouse and she hung out with Grace for awhile before dinner.  Afterwards, she retreated to her room and I didn’t see her again all evening.

Slade jumped around in front of me, and the Gods began forming a circle around us, chanting and cheering, their bottles in their hands as they got drunker and drunker as the night wore on.

My hand snaked out, making contact with Slade’s right cheek, snapping his head around violently.  If it weren’t for the bloody smile that spread across his face when he looked back at me, I would have thought I had hurt him.  But Slade never seemed to get hurt, and if he did, well I’d never seen anyone enjoy pain that much.  Except for me.  But that was a long, long time ago.  These days, I didn’t get as much pleasure from it as I used to.

That was the way it goes, I guess.  

Getting older changed you, settled you, made you seek out comfort instead of adventure and hell-raising.

I was thinking too much, though.  Slade snuck a punch in, and I didn’t duck in time, and his fist caught the side of my jaw, whipping my head to the side as the crowd cheered.  I stumbled, landing on my ass in the dirt.  I looked up as Slade danced around me, the smug grin returning to his ugly face.  I shook it off and stood back up, remembering the words of my coach so long ago.

“I can teach you to fight, but I can’t teach you how to get up,” he told me.  And he was right.  After killing that guy in the ring, I never learned to get back up myself.

Normally, this is where I would stumble again, and pretend that Slade had gotten the best of me.  I loved that goofy dude, and he pouted like a school girl when he lost.  But not this time.  He was in for a surprise, because I had way too much pent up frustration inside of me tonight, and I had no other outlet except for his self-satisfied mug.  Fighting with Slade was the only fighting I really allowed myself to do.  I’d never step into the ring again.

I pushed him, provoking him to try to hit me again, which worked.  He was so predictable.  His right fist shot out, and I ducked under it this time, hooking him just under the chin, sending him flying backwards and landing with a thump on the ground, knocking him dizzy.

I heard a startled gasp behind me, and turned just in time to see Lacey’s wide eyes filled with fear and confusion, before she ran away from the group.

“Fuck!” I pushed through the crowd and followed Lacey as she ran into the clubhouse and down the hallway that led to her bedroom.  A loud bang rang through the clubhouse as she slammed the door.  I stopped short, taking a deep breath and knocking lightly on the door.

The crowd outside had streamed in after us, and I felt the curious gaze of a dozen pairs of eyes drilling into my back.

“Lacey, open up.” I whispered. “Please?”

I listened at the door, my mind racing, trying to assess the situation as fast as I could.  Why was she so upset?  I knocked again.

“Lacey, come on…”

Slowly the door opened, and her face peeked through the crack, streaked with tears.

“Can I come in? Please?”

She nodded, and opened the door, letting me through.  I turned to close it behind me, and saw all those eyes still watching. 

“Go away, you nosey fucks!”  I seethed, before slamming the door.

I turned to see Lacey staring at me.  She looked almost afraid, and it killed me to see the tears on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“What do you mean, what’s wrong?  You were fighting.  With Slade.  Why would you hurt him like that?” 

“What?  Lacey, he likes it…I mean, it’s just something we do…when we want…oh, fuck, look it doesn’t mean anything at all.”

“I just don’t understand how you could pummel your friend like that…” her voice trailed off and she turned away from me defensively, breaking my heart when I realized she was afraid of me.

“Lacey, listen, babe.  Slade and I go way back.  He’s my best friend.  We fight each other all the time.  We do it for fun, not because we are trying to hurt each other.”

“That makes no sense to me.”

“I can see how it wouldn’t.  People out of the life don’t understand.  Slade and I use it as an outlet for frustration…it’s not real.  The other Gods think it’s entertaining.  It looks a lot worse than it is.  I would never hurt him seriously, and he wouldn’t hurt me either.”

“Well, whatever.  I don’t know, it just bothers me…” her voice trailed off, and she avoided my eyes.

“Lacey,” I said.  “Please look at me.”

She wouldn’t.

“Lacey, why does it bother you?”

Her voice shook as she turned towards me.

“Look, the only violence I’ve seen was always directed towards me, and it sure as hell wasn’t out of love or fun.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, sweetheart,”  I said, closing the distance between us, not sure if she would let me close to her, but thanking the heavens that she didn’t shrink away when I did.

I reached up to push a strand of hair from her face, and the sight of my bloody knuckles stopped me cold.  I smiled at her, shrugging.

“I don’t want to get blood on you,”  I said, pulling away.  I sat on her bed and she sat next to me.  “I’m sorry I upset you, babe.  I had no idea that would happen, but I should have thought it through a little better.”

She looked away, silently accusing me of who-knows-what?  Of being a monster?  She had no idea how right she was, if that was what she was thinking.  But not anymore.

“I want to tell you a story.  You saw my bag, I told you I was a fighter before, and when you asked why I stopped, I changed the subject.”  I took a deep breath, the memories flooding back like a burst dam.  “ I don’t like to talk about it…but…well, fuck, there’s no other way to say it - I - I killed a guy.  In my first fight.”

She turned to look at me, but this time, I turned away.  I couldn’t meet her eyes.  Not while I was right there, back in the ring.

“I don’t know how it happened, the odds of that shit actually going down on someone’s first real fight are astronomical, but it happened.  To me.”

“What happened afterwards?”  she asked quietly.

“Nothing.  After that, I couldn’t fight anymore.”

“That’s awful, I’m so sorry, Riot,” she said, her voice soft and tender.

“I loved fighting.”  I continued, the words flowing easier now. “It was in my bones. Once I realized I could do it, it was all I ever thought about.  I had bet my whole future on these hands, on my dream.”  I put my hands out in front of me, looking at them.  My weapons.   “And I got burned.  I did it too well.  Or, I did it all wrong.  However you want to look at. Either way, I’m a fucking murderer.”

Finally, I turned to face her, the tenderness in her eyes a sweet salve on the wound I had just reopened.

“That’s why it’s safe with me and Slade.  He’s the only person I fight, unless I have to defend myself, which is rare these days.  Most people are smart enough not to fuck with a God.  Having this patch, having the brotherhood, that keeps me from having to fight.”

“So, I’m sorry I scared you, but I want you to know I would never hurt someone willingly.”

“It’s okay,” she said, a tentative smile lingering on her lips.  “I guess I’m just not much of a fighter.”

I peered into her eyes and shook my head, once again, completely dumbfounded at the beauty I found there.

“Seems to me, that’s exactly what you are.  You’ve been through so much, Lacey.  Unthinkable things.  Things that most people wouldn’t have survived.  But you did.”  I reached up again, cupping her chin and brushing my lips with hers gently, before I continued.  “You fought.  You won, baby.  You won by living through all the shit, you struggled through it, and you did it all on your own, with help from not one single person.  You’re a warrior, Lacey.  Don’t you dare forget that.”

I kissed her again, stood up and pulled her into my arms.

“You’re the most badass fighter I’ve ever known, Lacey Hope Carrington,” I said, looking into those green depths.

She laid her head on my chest, and wrapped her arms around me. Once again, despite my willing it to go away, my cock twitched and hardened in my jeans.

I should be able to control myself more.  I was pissed that I couldn’t, that my fucking body had more control than I did.  I wanted to be a good man for her, not just another asshole in the line of assholes that had treated her badly.

I needed to do the right thing.

And as soon as she turned her stunning eyes up to me again, the tears drying on her cheeks, the desire burned right through me, and I couldn’t stop myself.