Razing Kayne (16 page)

“Let me finish.” The judge held up both hands, staying further argument. “Officer
Dobrescu, please sit down.”

Kayne was beyond furious, but finally sat down when Brian stood, placed a hand on
his shoulder, and all but shoved him into the chair. He pitched his voice for Kayne’s
ears only. “Get control of your temper.”

“I said if I was to take these documents at face value, but I've heard and seen some
things that make me believe there is a more amiable solution.”

“How do you figure?” Jessica's attorney, Paul, voiced what they were all thinking.

“According to this statement by Cody Johnson, Kayne is a hothead—”

Kayne shot to his feet again. “
That belligerent hose-monkey—”

“Sit down, son. I am well aware of Mister Johnson’s behavioral issues, so don't make
me find you in contempt. I want a nice equitable outcome here.”

The judge gave another heavy sigh. “
Folks...
my hands are tied. In Arizona, only one of you can have custody, because you're not,
nor have you been, married. I can make my ruling, and you guys can fight back and
forth for the next couple years with appeals and home studies and bonding assessments.
If you go that route, you’ll have a case worker breathing down your necks until all
is said and done and the appeals have run out. All the while, that baby girl is going
to be stuck in the middle, probably in foster care unless you can both agree who she’ll
live with while you two are fighting it out.

“The reality is there is precious little precedence. One vaguely similar case took
years to reach a final verdict. I'm not saying that to scare you, I'm stating fact.
And I'm ready right now to hand down my verdict...
unless
you'd like to hear a second option.”

“What would Your Honor propose?” Brian’s voice held a heavy note of skepticism.

“Good choice of words, Brian. I'm
suggesting
that Ms. Hallstatt and your client might want to take a few moments and discuss the
other option open to them.” He glanced first to Kayne then Jessica, making Kayne uneasy.

“And what would that option be?” Brian glanced at Kayne and pulled a face. Obviously
he had no idea what the judge was suggesting either.

“If Officer Dobrescu and Ms. Hallstatt were to choose marriage instead of going forward
with this custody battle, they could both legally become her parents. I would void
the original adoption, reinstating Officer Dobrescu's rights and waive the waiting
period, allowing Jessica, as Kayne's wife, to legally adopt the child now.”

Kayne could barely breathe. He'd known today would be difficult, had known walking
in here that only one of them would end up with Tasha, but seeing the pain in Jessica's
eyes, actually knowing the verdict was moments away, was slowly eviscerating him.

At first he was shocked when Jessica started laughing, the sound far more hysterical
than humorous “You've lost your ever-lovin’ mind! I'm not marrying him. He doesn't
even like me.”

And then it hit him what the judge had just suggested.
No fucking way!
“Sorry, I've already been forced into one miserable marriage, and it ended rather
badly. I won't be forced into another.”

“No one is forcing you, son, let me be clear about that,” Johnson said. “I am merely
pointing out a possible alternative solution that doesn’t risk upending that little
girl’s world or sacrificing her happiness. I’ve seen you and Jess together. The
snowball fight
at the park, kissing on national television at a hockey game. I’ve also heard some
very favorable reports of your involvement with
Jess’s
other children. I wouldn’t suggest this if I didn’t think you stood a chance of making
it work.”

Christ, he'd do just about anything for his child, but this was insane. They couldn't
even get along because of Cody's interference.

He wouldn't be around if you were married,
a voice inside Kayne’s head whispered.
He'd have no claim on Jessica or the other kids.

Kayne couldn’t even begin to imagine another forced marriage—and it
would
be forced, regardless of what the judge claimed. But Jesus Christ, he couldn't risk
losing Tasha again. Besides, deep down he knew Jessica was nothing like Oksana.

“I'm willing to hear you out, but nothing more,” Kayne conceded after a long moment.

“Jessica?” the judge asked. “Are you willing to gamble Gracie's future?”

Jessica glanced at Kayne then quickly looked away. “I'm listening.” Her voice was
little more than a whisper.

“It's plain as day that both of you love this little girl, and I think you both care
more about each other than you're willing to admit at the moment
.
I can give my ruling, and then whoever wins custody can choose if he or she decides
to allow any further contact from the other parent.”

“I would not keep Tasha from Jessica or the kids.” Kayne wouldn’t do that to her.

“I wouldn't keep her from him, either,” Jessica whispered.

But she already had.

“So what happens when Jessica remarries? How's that going to factor in? Kayne, are
you going to still give Jessica unlimited access to Grace knowing someone like Cody,
for instance, will be there?”

The mention of Jessica marrying Cody sent ice water coursing through Kayne’s veins.
He couldn't stand the thought of Cody being anywhere
near
her.
The kids
.
That's what he'd meant. He couldn't stand the thought of him being anywhere
near
the
kids
.
Right.

The only bright side of this so far
was knowing
that Cody had been slapped with a restraining order too. Of all the shit that had
gone down, believing Cody had access to Jessica and the kids while Kayne was being
forced to stay away had hurt more than he wanted to admit.

And then the judge said something that made Jessica's whole countenance shift. “How
are the rest of the kids going to feel about being left out when Kayne takes Grace
on some Daddy-Daughter outing, or on vacation without them? How will Grace feel when
your new husband decides she already has a dad, and so she's not his responsibility;
that he doesn't really want her around, but he puts up with her because he doesn't
have a choice?”

Kayne watched what little color there was drain from Jessica’s face. Somehow the judge
had struck a nerve.

“Can we think about it?” Kayne wanted to know why the hell that last comment had upset
Jessica so much.

“Sure, take a few minutes, talk it over. But one way or the other, we're going to
get a resolution to this today.”

“Wait, you expect us to decide
now
?” Kayne laughed in disbelief. Surely this wasn’t really happening.

The judge gave him a hard glare. “I am handing down a decision before we leave court,
unless you give me a reason not to.”

“Can we know the verdict first?” Kayne asked.

“No.” Judge Johnson said flatly. “That would defeat the purpose now, wouldn't it?”

“I'll do it,” Jessica whispered.

“Excuse me?” Kayne was sure he hadn't heard her right. She couldn't be willing to
consider this insanity, could she?

She gave him a beseeching look. “I can't lose her, Kayne. I've always sworn I'd do
anything
for my children, and now...well now I guess it's time I prove it.”

“Baby, you don't have to do this.” Kayne stepped around Brian to reach her. He couldn't
stand the tears or the defeated look in her eyes. It spoke of a hopelessness he didn't
understand. “I won't keep her from you.” He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder.
When she didn't resist, he pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Fuck, this was a mistake.
He was supposed to be pissed at her, but somehow his body wasn't getting the memo.

She was so tiny, so fragile, compared to him. She didn't even reach his shoulder.
Feeling her trembling in his arms killed him. Her soft sob undid him. He closed his
eyes, fighting emotions he didn't want to feel. Fighting and losing. How could he
rip this family apart? How could he bear losing Gracie, because that was who Tasha
was—
Gracie.
The fates were vicious bitches.

He didn’t want this, and Jessica deserved so much better. How could he even consider
intertwining himself into their lives
?

Kayne tilted Jessica’s chin up until she made eye contact, fully intending to tell
her he couldn’t do it. But one look into those whiskey-colored eyes, and he found
himself saying, “I'll do it.”

The moment the words were out, reality hit him hard. Suddenly he felt very much like
he had when he'd agreed to marry Oksana.

Trapped.

SEVENTEEN

“Where should I put my things?” Kayne looked expectantly at Jess. Word had spread—courtesy
of Judge Johnson, she was sure—and within half an hour, Kayne's house had been descended
upon by locusts...er friends. They'd come in trucks bearing boxes, tape, markers,
and stacks of old newspapers. It had taken less than an hour to have Kayne packed
and ready to move.

Now he wanted to know where to put everything. How was she to answer? Was he expecting
to move into the master bedroom with her? Their conversation had been stilted since
they left the courthouse, since Cody's blow up. To say he hadn’t taken it well was
the understatement of the year.

Now she stood in her house, feeling as though she were talking to a stranger. It was
as if the weeks prior to discovering Gracie's true identity had never happened. Of
course it had all been a lie. Kayne’s only intent had been to discover who Gracie
really was. Well, he'd succeeded in that.

“Wherever you want, Kayne.
I'm going to change.” She finally answered before walking away.

“Take your time, we've got it,” he called after her.

She didn't bother acknowledging. Of course he didn't need her around; he now had everything
he wanted.

Jess had finished changing and walked out of the bathroom when the first person carried
a box marked
clothes
into the bedroom. Apparently, Kayne was moving into her bedroom. Jess showed them
which closet Kayne would be using—the one that still held boxes of Jarred's clothes.
She should have gotten rid of them when they moved into the new house last year, but
she couldn't seem to let go of the past, and she didn't understand why
.
It wasn’t like there was anything worth holding on to. Hell, Jarred had planned to
leave her.

She quickly shoved the thoughts away. She couldn't deal with any more today.

What had taken an hour to pack took fifteen minutes to unload with so many people
helping. Not wanting to interrupt Kayne after Polly explained he was in the playroom
with Gracie and Isabelle, Jess bid the
volunteers
goodbye and thanked them on his behalf.

“Jess, you should have seen it.” Polly wiped her eyes. “He all but cried when he dropped
to his knees and took Gracie in his arms. And then he did the same to Isabelle. Both
girls were hugging and kissing on him, so happy to see him.”

Got guilt?

Honestly, Jess was surprised Kayne had said two civil words to her—she’d done everything
in her power to keep him away from Gracie. He would have been justified in never letting
Jess or
the kids see her again, given the way Jess had treated him this past week. So why
had he agreed to this crazy marriage? It made no sense.

Jess bid Del and Polly goodbye, promising to call if she needed anything. Not ready
to face Kayne, she returned to her room—
their room
, she mentally corrected—and began moving the boxes of Jarred's clothes into her closet.
She’d call someone to pick them up, not today, but soon.

She did however remove the engagement ring Jarred had given her and switched her wedding
band to her right hand. While they hadn't had rings today—hadn't actually spoken any
vows either, which shouldn’t matter, but surprisingly did on some level—she didn't
think Kayne would appreciate her symbolically remaining married to Jarred. Then again,
if he was anything like Jarred, the symbolism of a ring wouldn't matter. At least
she could quit pretending to be mourning a man who’d never truly loved her.

Once the closet was empty, she unpacked Kayne’s clothes and hung up the uniforms someone
had stuffed into a box. When she was done, she took his basket of dirty laundry and
headed toward the laundry room.

She heard Isabelle chatting animatedly as she neared the kitchen. Isabelle was telling
Kayne, who stood beside the stove, about a party she was attending tomorrow.

He glanced up when Jess walked in, gave her a nervous smile. “Would you like a grilled
cheese sandwich or some soup?”

Jess looked at the clock. It was nearly noon. “Kayne, I'm so sorry, I got busy—”

“Stop.”
He held up his hand. “We're fine. We can fend for ourselves, can't we, girls?”

Isabelle put one hand on her hip and gave him a
“Seriously?”
look. Jess had to fight back a bubble of laughter.

Kayne laughed outright. “Okay, so 'Sabella had to show me that you had homemade soup
in the freezer.” He shrugged.

“I'm just going to go put these in the laundry.” Jess motioned to the laundry basket
at her feet.

“I can do my own laundry, Jessica.”

“I…I don't mind. It will go in with everyone else's. There's a bag in the laundry
room marked Dry Cleaners. I drop it off Monday morning after I take the kids to school,
and
it's
ready Wednesday morning. But if you need a different schedule for your uniforms,
let me know, and I'll adjust accordingly.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don't need you to take care of me.”

Jess simply nodded and continued on to the laundry room. Apparently, he was going
to suffer through until he could file for divorce in ninety days. So, why would he
want to put any effort into their sham of a marriage?

Jess started a couple loads of laundry, always glad for the second set of appliances
with all the laundry four little kids went through in a week.

It wasn't difficult to tell that Kayne was angry with her, and so she took her time.
She'd almost forgotten what it felt like to live with hostility. To feel that no matter
what she was doing, it wasn't enough. Jess knew from experience she could put up with
about anything, and so she would.
As long as her kids didn't suffer.

After putting it off as long as she could, Jess finally headed back to the kitchen.

“Perfect timing.”
Kayne sat a plate down on the island in front of an empty seat. “Sit down and eat
something.”

“You eat this one. Gracie and I usually share.” Besides, she wasn't hungry, and she
didn't need to eat anything. One look in the bathroom mirror earlier had reminded
her how badly she'd let
herself go. She'd always had a weight problem, and at five-three, even a few pounds
made a very visible difference.

“So when you do eat, you eat like a two-year-old?”

“No share, mama, no share.” Gracie moved her plate away from Jess.

Kayne grinned. “See, even the two-year-old knows better.”

Jess fought the urge to say something rude. Thankfully, Kayne's ringing cell phone
stopped her from saying anything she might regret. Or worse, not regret.

“Will you answer that for me?” He turned back to the sandwich he was grilling without
even looking at the phone.

She hesitated, surprised by the request
.
Jarred had been adamant that his phone was his personal business and off limits, no
matter what. Eventually, she'd understood why. Having his wife discover he was cheating
made for an uncomfortable home life.

“Hello?” There was a long pause, but she could tell someone was on the line. “Hello?”

“
Privet!
”
A woman's voice spoke in a heavy Russian accent.
Hello!
“
S kem ya gavaryU
?” the woman asked.

“
Menya zavout,
Jessica,” she answered, remembering some of the Russian she'd learned when she and
Jarred had considered adopting from Russia years earlier. “
S kem ya gavaryU
?” she asked in return. If the lady wanted to know who she was, she should get the
same courtesy.

“Jessica, who are you talking to?” Kayne cocked his head curiously, but made no move
to take the phone from her.

“I don't know.” She glanced at the caller ID which showed an unknown number.

“
Shto?
” she asked into the phone. The lady had asked something, but she'd missed it, along
with her name.

“
Mozhno
Sasha Dobrescu?” the woman said, clearly impatient.

“
Sasha,
she wants to talk to you.” Jess fought not to giggle and failed. When they were signing
the marriage license in court, Jess had learned Kayne’s middle name was Aleksandr.
Anyone who followed NHL hockey knew Alexander Semin’s nick name was Sasha, a common
Eastern European pet name for Alexander, or even Alexandra as in Olympic figure skater
Sasha Cohen’s case.

Kayne glared at the phone. “No, that's fine, keep talking, this is too good. I had
no idea you spoke Russian.” He gave her the first genuine smile she’d seen from him
all day.

“Tell that ungrateful bastard of mine I wish to speak with him,” the woman said in
heavily accented English.

His mother?
She knew he had one, she'd never thought of asking him anything about her.

***

Kayne groaned and took the phone.
Just what he needed.
He put it on speaker and laid it down. “
Allo
, Nina.” Kayne made his tone as cold as possible. “What do you want?” Why the hell
was she calling him after all this time?

“I am your mother, show some respect.” She huffed out an indelicate breath. “Were
you ever going to tell me you took another wife, or more importantly that you have
found my granddaughter? Do you have any idea what it's like to get a call from...someone
like Valentin Krysin, demanding to know why I did not inform him that his granddaughter
lives? Men like that
are
not someone you want as an enemy.”

The very mention of Krysin's name infuriated him. “She is none of Krysin's business,
or yours, for that matter. Especially not after what he said to me the last time I
spoke with him.”
They are
dead,
do not waste your energy mourning them. Forget about them. Move forward. Find another
wife, start another family. Live your life.

“He wouldn’t even take Oksana home.” Regardless of what she'd done, she had deserved
to be buried in her homeland, the place she'd so desperately loved. She deserved to
be some place that her mother could tend her grave, because God knew, Kayne couldn't
even step foot in that cemetery.

Jessica started easing away, and though they'd been pretty frosty to each other, Kayne’s
natural inclination was to reach out and pull her to him. He wrapped his arm around
her, anchoring her in place at his side. She tensed and held her body rigid at first,
but after a couple moments, she relaxed into him. And she fit. There was no other
word for it. She fit him.

Nina sighed.
“Why do you hold on to the past so tightly, Sasha?”

Good question. Maybe because he never wanted to experience the bad shit again. Kayne
drew a long shuddering breath. He wasn't going to think about his childhood, or Oksana,
or anything else. He'd already done too much of that today.

“I finally took Krysin's advice. I have a new wife and family. And so now, I want
to forget the past.”

“You should have done that long ago. Oksana was never worth the energy, and the child
would have been better off having stayed lost.”

“What do you want?”  He hadn't heard from the bitch in years. She'd been nowhere to
be found when the kids and Oksana had died. Not that she'd ever been any significant
part of his life. No, that honor went to the Dobrescus who’d taken him in when Nina
abandoned him at age twelve. God, he needed to call Ben and Luann. He'd been afraid
to get their hopes up, only to have to tell them he had no rights to Gracie. Now though,
he couldn't wait to let them know.

“I want to see Tasha. So does her grandfather.”

“Absolutely not happening.
Ever!
I want nothing to do with any of you. I have to go.”  He hung up.

Jessica patted the hand he still anchored at her waist and pulled away. She sat quietly
playing with her food, taking small sips of the soup occasionally.

“I was a little surprised when I couldn't find any cans of soup in the pantry.” He
tried for light conversation. “You should have seen the look on 'Sabella's face when
I asked her.”

***

Jess smiled, she knew that look. Isabelle giggled. “Mama, he didn't know soup goes
in the freezer.”

“Sweetie, in most houses it doesn't. It does here because I make it and freeze it,
but a lot of mommies don't have time to do that, so they buy it at the store, in a
can.”

“Yes, you guys are very lucky to have a mama who can be home with you all the time.
It's excellent, by the way.” He pointed at his bowl with his spoon.

“Thanks, but they aren't home with me all the time. That schedule on the refrigerator
will give you an idea. They have dance, music, gymnastics, and play dates each week.
Oh, and Polly watches them for a couple hours each day.”

He walked over and studied the schedule. “Looks like you two keep Mama busy. I think
she needs more than a few hours off, after all of this.”