Ready or Not (Aggie's Inheritance) (28 page)

Tina says:
Are you sending these into Readers Digest? Maybe they

ll hire you as the new Erma Bombeck.

Aggie says:
Oh, and this woman is incredible! Cari pitched one of her stubborn fits and the gal never broke a sweat. She smiled the entire time that she kept Cari exactly where she wanted her. I think Cari is secretly happy not to be in control anymore.

Tina says:
Have you asked her secret???

Aggie says:
Not yet but I intend to! I am going to figure out how she knows EXACTLY what to do. Kenzie was sassing her yesterday and the woman marched her upstairs and shut her in my room. Told her that when she could speak respectfully she could come out. Car
i
would have been in there for HOURS but Kenzie stayed maybe three minutes max before coming out and apologizing.

Tina says
: WOW!

Aggie says
: How do I know which to use when? This is what I wan
t
to ask!!!

Tina says:
Well, I

m sending you a meal card system that I made with Celia Mullins.

Aggie says:
Celia?

Tina says:
If your name ended up being Priscilla Mullins… of Longfellow fame, would YOU go by Priscilla?

Aggie says:
Point taken. Well, according to Mrs. Landry, she will have the upstairs cleaned up by tomorrow.

Tina says:
HOW! With those three mess makers, how can she get so much DONE!?

Aggie says:
Well, it appears that she puts the girls to work with her…and they LIKE it!

Tina says:
I want to sit at this woman

s feet!

Aggie says:
Me too… uh oh… Ian just bonked his head again. He

s pulling up on everything, and it

s just awful! Everyone says it

s to
o
early, but he

s doing it so early or not, here I come. I better go.

Tina says:
Keep me up on the latest!

Aggie says
: Poof!

Tina says:
Poof de de poof poof!

Chapter
9
 

 

Lessons & Plans

 

Saturday, May 11
th

 

Aggie gave work orders to the children and had everyone working on them by the time Mrs. Landry appeared. All of their bedding was on the floor in front of the washer, and their rooms were devoid of trash. As they gathered dirty clothes, Aggie

s voice rang out through the upper floors telling them to put clean clothes away and not back into the laundry.


Mrs. Landry…

The smiling woman interrupted her.

Please call me Iris. I feel like we are becoming good friends, and my friends don

t call me Mrs.


Iris it is, thank you. I need all the help I can get, and after watching how you interact with the children for the last two days, and seeing how you have managed to make these children mind
--

she stumbled over the right word,

cheerfully, I want to know your secrets. Teach me, oh wise one!

Mrs. Landry laughed as she moved the armchair a little closer to Aggie.

I think I can offer you some suggestions. I

m no expert, but I do have a bit of experience with children, and my grown kids aren

t criminals
--
yet.

Aggie sat up eagerly. She knew she had been too lenient with all of the children, allowing them to do pretty much what they wanted until it became dangerous, annoying, or destructive. Even when she did put her foot down, Aggie had a sinking feeling that if the children really pressed her, they would win. Having already faced facts, the truth was glaringly obvious. She was outnumbered.

Stop

was the only hard, fast rule that Aggie knew would be obeyed no matter what, and training them to obey that simple command had been torture.


How do you know what to do to get the children to
choose
to obey you? I mean, the way you handled Cari and Kenzie
--


Ok. Let

s start with a simple premise. If you don

t want a child to do something, you have to make the behavior
counterproductive
. They must want to avoid the consequences and never do it again.


You

ve never raised your voice or even looked sideways at them.


You don

t need to. I believe it

s very important to teach children to obey you the first time and without unpleasantness. Can you imagine a police officer pulling someone over every three minutes saying,

I thought I told you to slow down! If you don

t slow down and stay slowed down, I

m going to
have
to give you a ticket.

Aggie chuckled.

I can

t see the speeder pulling over again after the second or third time!

Iris laughed.

Exactly!

For the next hour, Iris told
--
and showed when the occasion arose
--
Aggie how to anticipate behavior problems and how to prevent them. She would have to know her

suspect.

If the child was social and wanted to be with people, removing them from what they wanted would possibly deter them. Conversely, if they liked being alone, sitting in a chair next to her would likely deter them even more.


Be careful using time outs in another room. It tends to just give children an opportunity to pout and seethe. Occasionally, it

s good for helping them settle down when they

re out of sorts, but if they

ve been disobedient, or even defiant, it rarely works in the long run.

Iris continued to think of how to explain things.

Ok. Here

s the quick and dirty. If they complain about working, give them more work, for practice in doing it pleasantly. Every time they complain, give them another small job. Don

t get sarcastic or unpleasant yourself. You

ll just reinforce what you don

t want them to learn. If they speak unkindly to a sibling, make them say five nice things about their sibling. Make whatever they did, not worth doing again.

She smiled.

Basically, make the wrong behavior too much trouble to go through.

Aggie was thoughtful.

What if they refuse to obey me all together?

Iris smiled.

Aggie, it

s obvious that your sister trained these children well. They are accustomed to being obedient, and that

s good for children. It

s good that they learn to obey, and at a young age, obey without question. We don

t always know why God requires this or that from us; we just have to obey. We learn to say

Yes, Lord

from saying

Yes, Ma

am

to our mom.


If they had never been trained, they wouldn

t have a respect for authority and this would be harder. But, your children respond to me because they
do
respect authority. I established authority immediately, and the children naturally responded to that. You just have to move from being

fun buddy, Aunt Aggie

to authority figure Aunt Aggie
--
their second mother.

Iris got up, and with a pat on Aggie

s shoulder, got to work. Soon, the house seemed to buzz with activity. Aggie watched as the toddlers became cranky, and she expected that Iris would settle their hash. She was surprised when Iris gathered the girls in her arms and whispered in their ears. The two girls smiled and got busy pulling out chips, bread, peanut butter, and jelly. Thirty minutes later, the girls slept on exercise mats on the family room floor.


Iris?

Aggie

s voice was quiet, but she was curious.

Iris, why did you feed the girls when they were whining? They were being difficult, and it looks like they got rewarded.


I told them to stop their whining, and they did. Then, I told them what they could do to help me. I just made sure the help that I requested was something that they needed too. Small children have a hard time controlling themselves when they

re hungry. If they hadn

t stopped their fussing when I told them, I

d have had to deal with that first, but there was no reason to exasperate the girls. That

s unnecessary punishment rather than good training and discipline.

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