Real Men Do It Better (21 page)

“Stay away from me,” she ordered, as he moved close to her that evening, brushing against her as she stacked the dishwasher with dinner dishes.

His male grunt did little to calm her nerves. Nothing he could do, though, could calm her nerves. He wasn’t the only one aroused after a week of enforced confinement, of nights spent in the same bed with him, feeling the heat of his body.

Dressed in jeans and T-shirt, and a bra, the layers of clothing did absolutely nothing to stem the needs that only grew. She remembered nights, hours on end that he would take her, throwing her into one orgasm after another, leaving her breathless, exhausted as the sun rose beyond the windows of his apartment. He was inexhaustible. And the memory of it was killing her.

“You’ve changed,” he remarked as he stood back from her, propping himself against the counter as he watched her. “You were never so confrontational before, Maggie.”

“I was never in danger for my life before,” she reminded him, flashing him a short glare. “It does change a girl’s perspective, Joe.”

“You’re going to be fine.” A quick frown edged at his dark blond brows as he watched her. “We’ll figure out where the information is and we’ll take Fuentes down.”

“One thing you never lacked was confidence.” Maggie closed the door to the dishwasher before setting the power and flipping it on. “There has to be someplace Grant hid things. What about his other journals?” he asked her. “We only found the current one, it began six months before. Where did he keep the others?”

“I have no idea.” She shook her head as she breathed out roughly. “I spent as little time around Grant as I had to. I didn’t question him, I just wanted him to leave me alone, so I left
him
alone.”

“Did he mention a safe deposit box?”

“Joe, these are all questions the detective asked me at the station,” she reminded him abruptly. “If he had one, I didn’t know. I never cared about his journals, his friends, or his comings and goings. If I had suspected for a moment what he was up to, I would have paid more attention. But I didn’t.”

“Men like Grant like to brag.”

“Grant bitched, accused, and went into paranoid delusions.” She shook her head at his perception that Grant would tell her anything. “Everyone was to blame for everything that had gone wrong in his life, except him. I assumed his journals were filled with the same crap, so I never gave them a thought.”

He was silent then, but she could feel his eyes on her as she wiped down the counter and the table before pulling out the Swiffer to go over the floor.

She could feel the little tremors of response building beneath her flesh as he watched her, she could almost feel his eyes raking over her snug jeans, the press of her breasts beneath the T-shirt.

Minutes later she propped the Swiffer back in its place before turning and heading for the living room. She was aware of Joe following her, stalking her like a damned animal. As though he could sense her arousal and was debating the best way to act on it.

Let me love you,
he had whispered earlier. He had no idea how those words had ripped through her heart. She had dreamed of him loving her, had believed he was beginning to until she covered that damned party she had no idea he had been invited to. Because he hadn’t told her. Hadn’t invited her. Oh no, he’d had one of his society women on his arm, decked out in silk and diamonds and platinum blonde hair.

Had he slept with her?

She couldn’t let herself think of that. Even now, two and a half years later, the thought that he would take another woman so quickly after having shared a bed with her had the power to rip her defenses to shreds.

“You can’t ignore me forever, Maggie.”

She stopped in the middle of the living room, breathing in deeply before turning to face him.

“I’m not trying to ignore you, Joe.”

His eyes were brilliant with lust, the same look that had the power to bring her to her knees during their relationship. Literally.

He tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks and stared back at her silently, as her gaze flickered to the action. The heavy bulge between his thighs sent heat burning through her body. Her vagina ached, echoed with emptiness, as her nipples pressed hard against the material of her bra.

She swallowed tightly as she felt the need for oxygen increase.

“Did he please you in bed?”

The question took her by surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“Grant.” He frowned back at her. “Did he please you in bed? Did he make you scream and beg for more, even when you were too exhausted to take more?”

Her eyes widened at the flicker of anger in his eyes.

“That’s none of your business—”

“The hell it’s not,” he snapped. “I went crazy for two and a half years wondering if he pleased you, knowing he shared your bed…”

“Stop it, Joe. This isn’t going to get us anywhere.”

“I’ll know.” He kept his voice low, even, a sure indication that he wasn’t going to let the subject go.

“No, you won’t.” She lifted her chin as she stared back at him, her fists clenched at her side as she fought to maintain her control. “Because I’m not answering you.”

Shame filled her at the thought of revealing the truth. She had known on her wedding night that the mistake she had made in her marriage was more severe than she had expected. Grant’s lust had sickened her, his spoken perversions filling her with disgust and fear.

“His journal was pretty in-depth concerning your sex life,” he informed her then. “He was quite descriptive.”

Maggie felt herself pale. “We weren’t having sex then. I hadn’t shared his bed since the first months of our marriage, I told you that.”

“Why?” He moved closer, stalking her like a predator.

“That’s none of your business, Joe. Let it go.” She watched him closely, wary, uncertain as to how he would react.

“You’re a very passionate woman, Maggie. I can’t imagine you denying yourself, or cheating on your husband to attain satisfaction.”

“I like sex, so automatically I had to be fucking someone?” she snapped out furiously. God save her from hardheaded men.

“That wasn’t what I said.”

“Yes, Joe, that was what you were saying.” She waved her hand back at him in a gesture of frustration. “What did you do for the last two and a half years? We both know you weren’t a virgin when you came to my bed. How many women have you had since me?”

“No one.”

The answer had her flailing for a response; instead, she could only stare back at him in shock.

She stared back at him silently as he came closer, his expression dark, intent as he watched her.

“You tormented me, Maggie.”

She shook her head desperately. “Don’t play with me like this, Joe. Please.” She was willing to beg. She had left him, believing he didn’t hold her heart. Now, two and a half years later, she admitted the truth she hadn’t wanted to face then. She had loved him then, and that love had never died.

“I’m not playing with you, Maggie.” His hand covered her cheek as she lost her breath. The sound of her tremulous gasp would have been humiliating if his touch weren’t so warm, so needed. “I’m trying to save us both this time.”

She was panting for air, certain her shaky knees would give out before she found the strength to move away from him.

“Do you remember what it was like?” he asked her gently.

Maggie stared back at him, dazed, uncertain, as his lips lowered to breathe a kiss against hers.

“All night long,” he whispered over her lips. “I would fall asleep, still buried in your body, still hungry for you. Do you remember that?”

“I remember seeing you with another woman.” She forced the words past her lips. “I remember you staring at me across the room, your expression as cold as ice. That’s what I remember, Joe.”

His jaw clenched. “You can forget that.”

“No, I can’t forget that.” She pushed away from him slowly, fighting back the regret as she did so.

“I didn’t sleep with her, Maggie.”

The tension tightening his body had her stepping back further. She could feel the certainty that he was at the edge of his control. Once he slipped past the veneer of civility, denying him wouldn’t be an option. The hunger in him called to her too fiercely, pulled at her too desperately. When Joe began coming after her in earnest, she would be lost, and she knew it.

“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t sleep with her,” she told him softly as she moved to the couch. There was no way in hell she was heading to the bedroom. “It’s not about the woman, Joe, it’s the fact that you did it. You weren’t as invested in me as I was in you, otherwise, you would have told me about the party. You would have told me about your date.”

She curled into the corner of the overstuffed couch, drawing her legs up until they bent to her side and gave her a measure of protection against the throbbing heat between her thighs.

He hadn’t moved from where he stood, other than to turn and follow her progress across the room with his eyes. She knew what he was doing, what he had been doing all day. Trying to push her buttons. From the first words out of his mouth that morning, when he accused her of pouting, to now, he was trying to work her, to get what he wanted without giving any of himself in return.

That wasn’t enough for her now. She wanted as much in return as she had to give, or she wanted nothing at all. And giving all of himself wasn’t something she thought Joe would do easily. He faced her, his jaw flexing with tension, his brown eyes raging with frustration and arousal.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Joe?” She tilted her head when he said nothing. “What would you have done if you’d seen me on another man’s arm that night?”

“I would have torn him apart,” he snapped.

“Your date left with all her hair and teeth intact,” she pointed out gently.

“And you never came back,” he growled. “You wouldn’t answer my calls. By God, you didn’t want to hear explanations.”

“No, I didn’t,” she admitted sadly. “The explanation should have come before the reality of it kicked me in the gut, Joe. I watched you that night, pretending you didn’t know me, that I was nothing, as you danced with another woman.…”

“I never took my eyes off you.”

“Or your hand off her,” she reminded him.

“It was a fucking case, Maggie,” he snapped, a grimace contorting his face. “Do you think I wouldn’t have told you if I thought you would be there? After I saw you it was too late; I couldn’t jeopardize the case.”

“I cover the society page, Joe,” she yelled back, infuriated with his logic. “You should have known I would be there. You should have warned me.”

“How?” He pushed his fingers restlessly through his long hair. “What the hell was I supposed to do, Maggie? I was in the middle of an operation, I couldn’t just tell you what the hell was going on.”

“You could have warned me you had a job to do. That’s all I needed.” She jumped to her feet, anger surging through her. “I knew you worked for the DEA, Joe. I wasn’t stupid or incompetent. I wouldn’t have asked questions, but I would have been warned. Why the hell do you think you walked out of that party with all appendages intact that night? I didn’t strike out just in case you were working, rather than trying to fuck Miss Big Boobs hanging on your arm.”

“Then why are you still so pissed?” He was genuinely confused. “Why did you avoid me, Maggie? We could have worked this out.”

“Because you didn’t warn me, Joe,” she reminded him with false patience. “Because you expected more from me than you were willing to give, and every damned message you left on my phone proved it.”

“What?” He frowned back at her in confusion. “I asked you to call me.”

“You demanded I call you. You informed me, more than once, that I was being silly, childish, petulant,” she sneered. “No, Joe, I wasn’t. I expected no more from you than you would have from me, and you weren’t willing to give it. You would never have tolerated seeing me with another man; why did I have to endure seeing you with another woman? No warning. No explanation. No nothing.”

He was silent, staring back at her with narrowed eyes and stubborn features. His arrogance was one of the things she used to admire, that complete male self-confidence that drove her crazy and turned her on all at the same time.

“I didn’t expect that from you,” he ground out. “I would have explained.”

“The explanation was too late.” She tossed her hair back before smiling tightly into the growing anger in his dark eyes. “I’m not arguing this with you any longer, Joe. My relationship or lack thereof with Grant is none of your business. Just as your job and what it requires of you is none of mine. You’re here to do a job. To protect me, and to find out if I know where Grant hid your precious proof. Stick to the job. You’re good at that.”

With that, she stalked from the living room into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her. She really prayed he took the hint and left her alone. The hurt and anger she had buried when she had left Joe was rising inside her now. The lack of outlet over the years, and her determination to hide from her feelings for him, had kept her safe from the repercussions. Now the pain was flowing through her, the remembered shock and heartache when she realized how little she had meant to him, slammed into her now with a force she hadn’t expected.

She deserved the same love she was willing to give, and her marriage to Grant had taught her that she wasn’t willing to settle for less. Especially not from Joe.

5

The bedside clock read two in the morning before Joe heard the deep, even breathing that indicated Maggie had slipped off into sleep. Within minutes, as she had every other night, she rolled from the edge of the bed to the middle, and her slender body tucked in against his.

He gritted his teeth against the arousal pounding between his thighs, and knew Craig wasn’t going to be happy to be pulling the extra hours of watch that he would be stuck with in the morning.

Maggie was unaware that Craig was watching the outside of the cabin. The other man slept through the day, then took up watch at midnight until Joe moved onto the porch each morning to indicate he was awake and on the job. Joe was getting up later every morning, though. Sleep was becoming harder with each successive night.