Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six

Table of Contents

 

 

 

“The Glory St. Clair series is, for me, fresh, fun and lighthearted. I’ll keep reading ’em as long as Gerry Bartlett keeps writing ’em.”

—
Romance Reviews Today

 

“Each book is like coming home and catching up with old friends. These books are keepers.”

—
Night Owl Reviews
(top pick)

 

“If you are a fan of the paranormal genre and you like your vampire stories with healthy, heaping doses of humor and spice, I cannot recommend
Real Vampires Have More to Love
enough.”

—
TwoLips Reviews

 

 

“Laugh-out-loud fun . . . the story that sets up several interesting prospects for future Glory adventures.
Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
has a reserved spot on my keeper shelf!”

—
Fresh Fiction

 

“The chemistry between Glory and Jerry is explosive. But when you add in the secondary characters, the result is nonstop laughter! Gerry Bartlett brings Glory to life and deals with the problems we all face. There is a little something for every reader in this story: sex, laughter, romance and a surprise ending that leaves you wanting more.”

—
The Romance Readers Connection

 

 

“Fun and fast moving with lots of action.”

—
Romantic Times

 

“An engaging urban fantasy filled with action and amusing chick-lit asides. Glory is terrific.”

—
Midwest Book Review

 

“Provides the adventure and surprises fans have come to expect from this fun series, with more turmoil and temptation than ever.”

—
Darque Reviews

 

“Another must-have. In her trademark witty voice, Gerry Bartlett adds another chapter to her highly entertaining series. What I love about these books is the lighter tone and humorous play on vampiric lore.
Real Vampires Don’t Diet
is honestly a tasty treat that’s sure to please even the most discerning palates.”

—
Romance Reviews Today

 

 

“Let’s just say, if you know what’s good for you, then you’ll check out
Real Vampires Get Lucky
.”

—
Romance Reviews Today

 

“Gerry Bartlett delivers another winner . . . Ms. Bartlett’s gift for humor, the bawdier the better, is evident throughout, and the different story lines are interwoven seamlessly to give the reader a thoroughly entertaining read. Fans, rejoice—this one’s a keeper!”

—
Fresh Fiction

 

“A laugh-out-loud series. Ms. Bartlett puts a different spin on the vampire romance. Fast-paced with appealing characters you can fall in love with. It’s like visiting old friends.”

—
Night Owl Romance

 

 

“Fans of lighthearted paranormal romps will enjoy Gerry Bartlett’s fun tale starring a heroine who has never forgiven Blade for biting her when she was bloated.”

—
Midwest Book Review

 

“Gerry Bartlett has created a laugh-out-loud book that I couldn’t put down.
Real Vampires Live Large
is a winner.”

—
The Romance Readers Connection

 

“Glory gives girl power a whole new meaning, especially in the undead way. What a fun read!”

—
All About Romance

 

 

“A sharp, sassy, sexy read. Gerry Bartlett creates a vampire to die for in this sizzling new series.”

—Kimberly Raye,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Sucker for Love

 

“Hot and hilarious. Glory is Everywoman with fangs.”

—Nina Bangs,
New York Times
bestselling author of
Eternal Prey

 

“Full-figured vampire Glory bursts from the page in this lively, fun and engaging spin on the vampire mythology.”

—Julie Kenner,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Turned

 

“A sexy, smart and lively contemporary paranormal romance . . . The plot is engaging, the characters are stimulating (not to mention, so is the sex) and the writing is sharp. Glory St. Clair is . . . a breath of fresh air.”

—
Romance Reader at Heart

 

“If you love Betsy from MaryJanice Davidson’s Undead series or Sookie from Charlaine Harris’s [Sookie Stackhouse novels], you’re gonna love
Real Vampires Have Curves
.”

—
A Romance Review

REAL VAMPIRES HAVE CURVES
REAL VAMPIRES LIVE LARGE
REAL VAMPIRES GET LUCKY
REAL VAMPIRES DON’T DIET
REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS
REAL VAMPIRES HAVE MORE TO LOVE
REAL VAMPIRES DON’T WEAR SIZE SIX

THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
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Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

 

This is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Copyright © 2011 by Gerry Bartlett.

 

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

BERKLEY
^®
is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

 

PRINTING HISTORY

Berkley trade paperback edition / August 2011

 

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

 

Bartlett, Gerry.

Real vampires don’t wear size six / Gerry Bartlett.—Berkley trade pbk. ed. p. cm.

ISBN : 978-1-101-51742-0

1. Saint Clair, Glory (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 2. Vampires—Fiction. I. Title.

PS3602.A83945R424 2011

813’.6—dc22

2011014491

 

 

It’s wonderful to have so many members on the Gerry Bartlett “team.” First, I have to thank my pitcher, my fab agent, Kimberly Whalen of Trident Media Group, who believed in this series from the beginning. Kim, you rock! My editor, Kate Seaver, is certainly an all-star. She and the fantastic crew at Berkley make sure that Glory St. Clair and her gang always hit a home run. From the great covers to the copyedits and Kate’s tweaks, I never worry that we missed something that will make my story the best it can be.

Then there is the coaching staff: As always, my buds Nina Bangs and Donna Maloy are present every week to make sure I don’t let my story wander off into left field. Thanks, ladies, for making sure I stay on task and almost on time. I also have to thank Romance Writers of America and my two fabulous home chapters, Houston Bay Area and West Houston. The members are always there in the bleachers, cheering me on with support and encouragement.

Last, but never least, are the fantastic readers who pick up my books and take the time to e-mail me. I love to hear from you on Facebook or at
gerrybartlett.com
. If I can make you laugh or even shed a tear, it has made the hours at the computer worth it. You can’t know how hearing from you lifts me. It makes me feel like I’ve won the World Series. Thanks so much for supporting Glory and her crew.

“
T
he vampire council is all for running you out of town, Glory.” Damian frowned at me, for once not bothering to put on his sexy vibe.

“No! Austin is my home now. I have friends, my business.” Could I be at any more of a disadvantage? I’d just stepped out of the shower when I’d heard that knock on the door. I’d hoped it was Blade, my boyfriend, who’d been sulking since we’d almost broken up recently. So I’d thrown on a robe and dashed to the door. Now I tightened the sash on my admittedly ratty robe and jerked off my shower cap.

“That business is part of the problem, Glory. Vintage Vamp’s Emporium. You know we like for vampires to stay under the radar here, and then you name your little store something like that.” Damian Sabatini always made moves on a woman, even one without makeup and with bed head. The fact that he looked serious and was pacing around me like I was a piece of furniture worried me.