Realm 05 - A Touch of Mercy (13 page)

Miss Purefoy’s lips set in a tight line. “It amazes me that so many people are titular about the very event which changes everything in their lives. The same way people do not accept God when He has given them the opportunity to make the decision to serve him. Do you not agree that the most contemptible of sinners requires His grace as much as the most loyal of saints?”

Aidan watched the woman carefully; every nerve in his body said she spoke from the heart, but could he trust someone again? “I often wonder how I might trust a man who possesses only a vague allegiance to God.”
Or to family
, he thought bitterly. His heart squeezed, and he tamped down the desolation rarely far from his mind.

“I have always thought a man who fluctuated in his dealings with his fellow man or in his relationship with his wife could not truly love God,” the lady declared baldly.

If Miss Purefoy thought every man who did not respect his wife ungodly, then England would be filled with infidels. And what would her opinion of him say of his own worth? Aidan murmured, “We all feel guilty and ashamed for not being everything to everyone.”

Miss Purefoy’s eyes widened. Her far too wise gaze settled upon his countenance. “Is that statement the crux of what keeps you from your bed, my Lord?”

Despite her evaluation’s accuracy, Aidan shook off her words. “You have no experience to understand my loss,” he said more tersely than he intended.

Immediately, she was on her feet. He expected her to storm from the room, but instead, Miss Purefoy crossed to where he sat and dropped to her knees before him. She leaned against his leg, and Aidan felt her warmth shoot up his body to land squarely in his chest. The lady caught up his hand. “I would truly not have you know pain.” Miss Purefoy’s slender fingers stroked the back of Aidan’s hand, and he could not remove his eyes from her steady gaze. Her innocent vulnerability stirred feelings Aidan had thought long buried. “There are events which happen that mark our lives forever. They change everything before and after their occurrence.”

“Amen to that,” Aidan said sarcastically. He thought of all the decisions that had sent his house into years of mourning.

Miss Purefoy clasped his hand tighter. “Do you not understand, my Lord? God has seen your past and has already defined your future?” She raised the back of his hand to her lips and left a tender kiss upon his knuckles. Aidan had never felt such complete peace in his heart. “God knows where you have been. He knows your successes and your failures. He knows the peace you desire. The devastation you have seen. He knows your heart. The disappointments you have faced and the challenges which lie ahead.”

“If He is a benevolent God,” Aidan said bitterly, “Why has He taken everyone from me?”

“I am here,” she said softly. “And so is Mr. Hill, and the friends with whom you have served, and now the families of those friends have begun. You are not alone, Lord Lexford. There are many who care deeply for you. Perhaps God has brought you to this time and this place so you could cross over from death to life. From despair to hopefulness. It is fair to grieve, my Lord, but not to feel guilty for things beyond your control.”

Aidan’s breath caught in his chest. The sincerity in the lady’s voice pummeled his sensibility. Could any woman be so filled with goodness? His hackles said not, but his foolish heart desperately wanted to believe the promises she purported. “How can you think so? Your brother drove you from your home. You have no one.”

“You err, my Lord. I have Mr. Hill and Mrs. Osborne. I have Miss Chadwick as a new acquaintance, and God has replaced the most horrid brother with one who looks upon me with kindness.”

Damn
, he thought.
Hers was the perfect response
.

“Then you have enjoyed your short time at Lexington Arms?” he asked cautiously.

“How could I not?” she protested. “I have been given a beautiful room and plenty to eat. I have been shown respect and worth. Your estate is pure perfection.”

Aidan’s eyebrow rose in disbelief. “I would certainly not refer to Lexington Arms as perfection. There is one wing badly in need of repair, and many of the rooms require new accessories. Several chambers still reflect my mother’s time as viscountess.”

“Then why not make the manor over in your taste?” the lady suggested. “Make your reign as Lord Lexford memorable. Leave your stamp on the legacy you have been given. Like the wise men, follow your star to discover what no one in your family ever bothered to know: a man greater than all those who came before him.”

“Dare I?” Aidan asked in awe.

The lady’s frown lines deepened. “Why ever not? I would have thought a man who faced Napoleon’s forces and the worst manipulations of mankind would dare anything,” Miss Purefoy said adamantly. “Why should you continue to live with the shadows, which have haunted you for years? Do you mean to punish yourself for a situation not of your own making? If you are not willing to reconsider the possible, who will do so on your behalf?”

Aidan smiled genuinely. “It would seem I have found an advocate in a lost sister.”

Miss Purefoy blushed thoroughly. She said obediently, “I have spoken beyond my station, my Lord. Please forgive me.”

Aidan felt perversely pleased by her response. While the girl, obviously, battled a feeling of discomposure and stole a moment to collect herself, he said kindly, “I made light of your serious consideration, my Dear. It is I who should ask for forgiveness.” He felt his heart swell with quiet joy. “Despite my ill attempts at levity, perhaps I might request your excellent opinions in making choices for the house.”

“Me?” she gasped. “You would trust me?” She tugged at her long braid, twisting the ends in her fingers in a nervous gesture. “I would be pleased to be of service, my Lord, but should not the next Lady Lexford be the one who will make such decisions?”

Disappointment welled up in him. Just the reminder of his marital prospects caused Aidan’s jaw to clinch. His lack of memory and his feelings of loneliness had mixed with the anxiety that had plagued his days and nights of late. “It is not my intention to wed? At least, not for many years,” he declared.

Cocking her head, Miss Purefoy asked, “Do you not require an heir, my Lord?”

Aidan could not stifle the sigh of resignation. He shook his head in the negative. “My brother left behind a son,” he said dryly. “So, an heir is not necessary.”

Miss Purefoy shifted uncomfortably. “Yet, do you not wish to leave the estate and the title to one of your own issue?”

Hell, yes
! Aidan wished to scream. He desired a wife and a house full of children, but he had to accept the fact he might never recover his memory; and Aidan held the private belief that if he did not learn the contents of the missing piece, he would never be able to accept another into his life. He would know no intimate relationship.

“There is no need for me to pursue a wife in order to secure the Kimbolt line.” His response sounded colder than he had anticipated. The sheen of tears in her eyes caught him unawares.

Miss Purefoy took a deep breath before forcing a bright smile. “Then I shall be pleased to assist you, my Lord.” She briefly stroked his cheek with her fingertips. An unfamiliar twinge of expectancy zigzagged its way through his chest. The lady was pretty. No, beautiful. Too beautiful. “I shall foresee having young Master Kimbolt’s acquaintance,” she added.

“Then when his grandfather brings the boy for a visit on the day after Christmas, I will send for you.” The sense of dread had returned with the remembrance of Rhodes’s upcoming visit.

“I could not,” Miss Purefoy protested. “I noted Mr. Rhodes’s disapproval when the gentleman spoke to you at the mercantile.”

Aidan’s frown lines met. “Mr. Rhodes does not speak to whom is welcome under my roof. The late Lady Lexford’s father has often acted above his station.” Aidan thought of how the Rhodeses had never considered him a proper suitor for Susan. His late wife’s parents had tolerated his friendship with their daughter, but only until they had realized Aidan’s romantic intentions. At that point, his finding private time to woo Susan had been limited by her mother’s manipulations.

Miss Purefoy’s lips thinned into a tight line. “We shall speak on it again when we are both not so exhausted. It is late.”

“Do not leave,” Aidan said before she could rise to depart. He stared into her eyes and with reluctance caressed her cheek. “Just a few more minutes,” he pleaded.

Her gaze searched his before she nodded her agreement. She sank to the floor to sit at his feet. Miss Purefoy rested her head upon his knee, and Aidan knew instant contentment. He aimlessly stroked her hair while she wrapped her arms about his legs. It was quite the domestic scene. Nothing moved but his hand against the silken strands. Only the occasional snap of the flames broke the silence. Aidan did not wish to talk or to think or to tantalize. He simply wanted this moment of comfort with Mary Purefoy.

*

Mercy slowly expelled the breath she had held. She had experienced a brief peek into the life of the man, who had fascinated her from the moment of their first acquaintance. And, unfortunately, the fascination had not lessened, especially after learning something of His Lordship’s family and his lack of hope for the future. His words of desolation had spoken to her heart. She had known such despair while living under Geoffrey’s roof. Even though she knew it dangerous to grow closer to the man than her foolish heart had already done, Mercy wanted to know more of Aidan Kimbolt.

Being from a less than stable family, Mercy understood Lord Lexford’s reasons for wishing to forget his family’s shortcomings. When she had escaped Geoffrey’s notice, Mercy had sworn never to accept a man’s kindness as anything more than a brief respite from the world’s cruelty. The male species had brought her nothing but sickening trepidation: Her brother’s rakish ways had led the barony to poverty’s door. Geoffrey’s associates had threatened to defile her. And Sir Lesley had offered her an uncertain future as the mother of his five children. Her head knew she should simply accept the viscount’s benevolence for as long as the man extended it, and then she should make her escape when Viscount Lexford’s generosity dwindled. Yet, her mind and her heart followed different paths.

Instead of doing the sensible thing, Mercy wanted to touch him. Of late, she had dreamed of kissing Lord Lexford. What she would not give to have her first kiss to come from Lord Lexford. Unfortunately, the viscount saw her as someone he must protect, not someone he could love, as a man and woman would know love.
His Lordship
thinks you his sister
, her sagacious side asserted.
A gentleman would never kiss his sister, legitimate or not. And it is best the viscount does not act without propriety
, Mercy silently chastised.
You did not accept Mr. Hill’s charity to act the seductress.

*

Miss Purefoy had fallen asleep as she rested against his leg. Without realizing she had done so, as she drifted off to sleep, the lady had gently stroked the back of Aidan’s calf just below where his knee bent. Her tenderness had touched his heart and had stirred his manhood. Aidan had never been one to keep a mistress, especially after what had happened to Andrew. Now, he suspected he might need to call upon one of the ladies in Liverpool soon. As much as a man can when he feels no connection to the woman beneath him, he had enjoyed himself with Monique when he and Godown had visited Lady Minerva’s Parlor Room, but the attack on the marquis had brought the evening to an abrupt end.

He leaned forward to support Miss Purefoy’s form to the floor. She rested upon her back, her arms and legs bent at odd angles, but he thought her charmingly attractive. She was so innocent. So vulnerable and so damn tempting. The lady constantly spoke her heart without an inner censure to prevent her doing so, and Aidan found her openness delightfully refreshing. With resignation’s sigh, he bent to lift her to him. “You are fortunate, my Dear, that my back did not suffer the damage my head endured. Otherwise, you would know no bed this night,” he murmured as he unconsciously buried his nose into the crook of her neck. He inhaled her essence.

Through the thin cloth of her nightrail and robe, Aidan could feel the warmth of her curves as he easily supported her weight. Her slender legs were draped across his forearm, and the palm of his large hand cupped the cheek of her hip. An image of the lady naked beneath him drove Aidan’s steps forward. He could feel his manhood come to life.
Bloody hell, she is your sister
, his brain told his body, but his body refused such rational thoughts.

Making his way through the darkened halls, Aidan turned toward the stairs. Miss Purefoy snuggled closer, and Aidan drank in the scent of lilacs. He lifted her higher so her breath might warm the skin beneath the opening of his shirt. It was exquisite torture, but one Aidan was willing to bear. Her closeness washed away some of the shame he felt as a Kimbolt.

Finally reaching her quarters Aidan shouldered her door open. Miss Purefoy had left a lantern burning, and Aidan easily made his way to her bed. “It is time for us to say our farewells,” he whispered as he placed her gently upon the pillows. Lifting the heavy braid, he draped it across the lady’s shoulder. In doing so, his fingers brushed the fullness of her breast.

His manhood hardened. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured. He lifted the braid and placed it down again. This time his fingers lingered against the weight of her breast. Aidan would love to caress the globe. To taste the bud. To drink of Miss Purefoy’s essence.