Reawakened Secrets (14 page)

“I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

“Well, I did everything I was supposed to do. I went to school, I got good grades, but I was numb. It was like I was trying my best to feel nothing so I wouldn’t feel the pain, but it was impossible. I had just admitted to myself how much I loved you, and I couldn’t make it go away just like that. It’s never gone away. It never will.”

He lifted my face to his and kissed me tenderly. I finally felt the tears that had started to fall unnoticed during my confession. He wiped them away and caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Nothing else matters,” he vowed. “I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know for all the pain I’ve caused both of us. But I’m also proud of you, Claire. In spite of everything, you’re even more amazing than you were before. I wish I could say the same for me, but nothing could numb the pain of losing you.”

I could feel more tears burning the back of my eyes. I blinked up into his face, trying to memorize the beauty reflected there before it was gone forever. Just the thought of it hurt so much. I closed my eyes, losing the battle as warm wet tracks of tears made the journey down my cheeks.

With my face buried in his chest, I sobbed desperately, “Please, Jack. Please don’t hate me.”

Soothing hands, rubbed gently down my back, and he pulled me closer. “Never, I could never hate you. You can tell me, whatever it is. I promise, everything will be okay.”

“The first few months after you left are a blur. I just went through the motions. I didn’t start to feel alive again-” My voice broke as I choked on the words. “I didn’t even want to be alive until I saw my daughter’s face for the first time.” I said it in a rush, laboring to get the trembling, breathless words out.

My pounding heart counted off the seconds of excruciating silence in the room. Finally, it was out there in the open. I braced myself for his reaction . . . his rejection, but there was still nothing.

“I had a really difficult labor and the doctors didn’t know if I was going to pull through. I didn’t even get to see her until a week after she was born,” I continued, unable to cut off my need to fill the void.

I looked up at his face, frightened by his lack of response.

His eyes sparked with surprised understanding. “This is what you were afraid to tell me?”

Before I could answer, his phone vibrated in his front shirt pocket making me jump. Cursing under his breath, he answered quickly, telling the driver he would be right there. Damn, I had forgotten all about his business trip.

I took it as a good sign he hadn’t pushed me away yet. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked into my eyes.

“Claire,” he said in his measured, Montgomery tone. “You have no idea how much I love you, do you?” Sadness colored his voice, making it deeper, even more formal somehow. “Baby, I didn’t expect you to spend the rest of your life waiting for me. I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“But . . . I . . .” I fumbled, trying to explain to him that was exactly what I had done. It was his turn to silence me. Instead of using his finger, he used his lips, moving them over mine. I was easily lost in him until he pulled away.

“This is the last thing you have to worry about. If she belongs to you, how could I do anything but love her?” he asked. His eyes softened and he smiled down at me, gently tracing where his lips had been. “Wow! You have a little girl. I can picture a miniature you, straight from our childhood with the reddish brown hair and fiery personality to match. I’ve got to say, I love the thought of that. Does she look a lot like you, Claire?”

“Well, uhmm, she looks a lot like her father,” I said uneasily. “Look, Jackson, I think—I’m not sure you understand.” He had gotten up to put on his shoes and already found his jacket. He seemed to be in a hurry, but he had an unmistakable aura of happiness as he pulled me off the bed to hold me against his body.

“No, I do. I’ve given you so many reasons to doubt me. I can understand how you may not see me as daddy material, but I’ll prove you wrong. As long as you love me, nothing else matters. You do, right?”

“Yes, so much. More than you can imagine, but-” I hesitated, unsure. So much still needed to be said.

“Then everything’s going to be okay, so much better than okay.”

He wrapped his arms around me, and I pulled him closer. I was overwhelmed by his easy acceptance of another man’s child. Would he be just as accepting of the truth?

“What’s her name?”

“Jazlene,” I whispered.

“That’s beautiful,” he said before placing soft kiss on my lips. “I’m sorry I have to leave now.”

“Wait, Jack.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back in a couple days. Then I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure we’re never apart again. After that, there’s a little girl I can’t wait to meet.”

With one hand stroking my neck and the other cupping my ass, Jackson lifted me off the ground. Then he took my lips in a way that drained every rational thought from my head. Despite the fear that this would make it harder in the end, I couldn’t stop my surrender; surrender to the moment, surrender to his kiss. The raw hunger he evoked was palpable. It overshadowed all my good intentions, ending only when his pocket began to vibrate again.

“I love you, baby.” His words, his touch, melted me in place. As always, I was mesmerized by the familiar turquoise assault. He turned toward the door to leave and I reached out, knowing I should stop him and tell him the truth. Now before it was too late.

Fear immobilized me for a second, making me too slow. As he left, one thought had me crumpling to the floor while sobs tore through me, shaking my entire body. The two people I loved most in the world held the same power over me with those magnificent Montgomery eyes—Jackson Montgomery and Jazlene Brown, our daughter.

Coming Soon . . .

Reawakened Sins

The only thing worse than Secrets kept are Sins revealed.

Finally, Claire has put all her cards on the table. Her feelings, her fears and her deepest, darkest secret were laid bare. Now what?

Claire’s entire foundation will be rocked once Jackson . . . and Alice understand the depths of her duplicity. But what happens when Claire realizes she’s not the only one with something to hide?

Secrets hurt, but Sins are killer.

Reawakened Sins
,
part two of the Reawakened Series, will be released in early 2016.

Faraway
by Nickelback (theme song)

I Who Have Nothing
by Haley Reinhart

I Can’t Wait to Hate You
by Mariah Carey

White Horse
by Taylor Swift

That’s When I Knew
by Alicia Keys

Weak
by SWV

Nobody Knows It But Me
by Baby Face

Hurt
by Johnny Cash

Disclaimer:
While these songs inspired me when writing this story, none of the songs or artists listed are affiliated with me or my novel in anyway.

Thank You:
In case you can’t tell by the song list alone, this series has been a work in progress for a long time. Whether you loved it or not, thank you for taking the time to read it. It would mean a lot if you could leave a review.