Reawakened (The Reawakened Series) (24 page)

Amon captured my wrist and, gently lowering my arm, replied softly, “To come to love something that much would seem a cruel twist of fate for one who spends much of his existence in the Land of the Dead.”

“I guess that would be true.” Uncomfortable, I stood and walked the length of the shelf as if examining the artifacts, when instead I was contemplating Amon’s very strange life. “Where do you go?” I asked quietly. “When you aren’t here on Earth, I mean?”

Amon sighed. “It is best not to speak of it, Lily.”

“But I need to understand. I need to know why you make all these sacrifices. I need to know if you’re—”

“If I am what?”

“If you’re
happy
there.”

Rubbing his hand through his hair and cupping the back of his neck, Amon answered, “I am not…
unhappy.
”

“That’s pretty vague.”

“The explanation is difficult.”

“Please try.”

After thinking for a moment, Amon began. “When my everlasting body becomes a…mummy, my ka, or soul, departs and must walk the path of the afterlife. My heart is not weighed on the scales of judgment like those who have gone before me because my stay in the afterlife is not permanent. Not yet. Though it is lonely, I drift through the centuries in relative comfort.”

“What do you mean, ‘relative’?”

“I am allowed to spend time with my brothers, but because we are bound to the service of Egypt, we are not given leave to retrieve our bodies and reunite with our loved ones. Instead, we pass the years acting as guardians to the gates of the afterlife.”

“So there isn’t an Egyptian version of heaven you go to?”

“I do not understand ‘heaven.’ ”

“Like a paradise—a place where you can kick your feet up and relax and enjoy your death?”

“No. Not for my brothers and me. Perhaps, one day, when our work is completed, we might be able to rest from our labors.”

“You sure got the short end of the stick when they were handing out pseudo-Egyptian-god duties. Isn’t there any room for love in Egyptian heaven?”

“I love my brothers.”

“That isn’t the kind I’m talking about.”

Amon remained quiet for a moment, and I wondered if he was even going to answer me, when he picked up a small carving and twisted it between his hands. “Do you know the story of Geb and Nut?” he asked.

“No.”

“Geb was god of Earth and Nut was goddess of the sky. Rough and thick-muscled, Geb was immovable and steady, like Earth itself. Nut was lithe and beautiful. Stars and constellations adorned her skin, and her hair floated about her form.

“When they saw one another, they fell deeply in love, and Geb was determined that they be together. Nut whispered her vows and sent them to Geb on the tails of comets. In reply, Geb stretched out his arms as far as they would go and finally grasped her fingers. Using his powerful form, Geb called upon Earth’s gravity, and slowly, the two came together, though they knew their love was forbidden.”

“Why was it forbidden?”

“That part comes later. Though I know you have as many questions as the stars, try to content yourself to listen till the end.”

I smirked. “You know me so well.”

“Yes. I do.”

“I’ll try. But I make no promises.”

Amon nodded, hazel eyes twinkling, and continued. “Once they were able to touch, they remained as close as any two things could be. Geb wrapped his arms around the willowy form of his secret wife and drew her to him. When he raised his knees, mountains formed, and Nut ringed them with the clouds of her dress.

“Geb lifted himself up on one elbow, and Nut rested her head against his chest, creating fog-shrouded hills and valleys. When they laughed, the land trembled and the sky thundered. They fit together so tightly, in fact, it soon became obvious that there was no room for mankind. To make a place for humans, Nut’s father, Shu, god of the air, was sent to separate the couple.”

“What happened?”

“Chaos. The two clung to one another, but Shu was powerful and drove them apart bit by bit. He sent cyclones and whirlwinds between them. The Earth shook and the heavens quaked and then, finally, it was done. Nut was wrenched from Geb’s heavy arms. Geb could see his wife floating far above him, but he could no longer touch her.

“Nut cried bitterly, and her tears turned into storms and heavy rains that fell upon the flesh of her husband. Pooling in the recesses of his body, the salty tears became oceans, rivers, and lakes. The waves blanketed the man she loved, but he relished having even that little piece of her and willingly allowed a portion of himself to sink beneath them forever.

“This is why water in Egypt is considered the source of chaos as well as creation—chaos because it is a sign of a love destroyed, and creation because it was the symbol of the beginning of mankind’s reign on Earth. Water unmakes and then creates anew.”

“Were they never able to touch again?”

“Over the aeons, Shu’s heart softened toward the couple, and they were allowed to touch at the four points of the compass. In the south and the west, their feet brush against one another, and in the north and the east, they thread their fingers together. But other than that, they are never to be together again. If they were, it would mean the destruction of life as we know it.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Amon shrugged. “It is a story shared by my people.”

“No, I don’t mean that. I mean that I don’t believe that doing your job, fulfilling your purpose in life, means there is no hope for happiness. No one, no god, could be that cruel.”

Amon set down the little statue, which I now recognized as the god of Earth, Geb, beneath his wife, Nut, who rose above him. The space between their bodies was wide and cold. “Sacrifices must be made so that others may find happiness,” Amon replied quietly.

Taking a step toward him, I reached up to brush my hand against his cheek. “But you deserve to have that kind of joy in your life, too.”

Amon wrapped his fingers around my hand and drew it to his lips, pressing a warm kiss against my wrist. “There are many men who do not attain the things they want while in their mortal existence, many who do not get the things they deserve. Who am I to count myself as more worthy than they? If I reached out to grab the happiness you speak of, how many would suffer as a result? How many would die? How many would dwindle in pain and agony? I cannot be that selfish, Lily, no matter how much I might want to.”

Amon’s eyes, more tawny now than green, bored into mine as if begging me to understand. He wanted me to accept his ancient notions of duty and obligation and let it go, but I was a modern girl, which meant I wasn’t going to sit like a princess who needed saving and pine for something I wanted. If there was one thing I knew about love, it was that it was worth fighting for, even if I had to pick up a sword to protect it. The miracle of finding love, real love, was a rare enough thing that it should give duty and obligation a run for their money.

Frustrated, I wrenched my hand from Amon’s. “I don’t get it. I mean, Geb and Nut, okay. Their being together physically crushes everybody, so I guess they can’t be together, but you? What are they going to do? Fire you? Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s time someone else did the saving-mankind thing for a while. You served long enough. It’s time to jump off the mummy train and live for a change, don’t you think?”

“Lily, I—”

“Just…think about it. I’m going to take a quick shower, and then maybe we can get some food. We’ll feast?”

“Of course, Lily,” Amon replied.

As I climbed the stairs, I felt the stress of the past few days flood over me. I did need to relax. I was wiped out. The fact that I was getting so emotional again was a sign that I was not feeling like myself, which had been true from the moment I first met Amon, but right then, I felt even worse.

To my delight, I found perfumed oil in the bathroom. When I rubbed it into my skin, the smell of soft flowers and sweet musk surrounded me. The scent was exotic, with a hint of citrus, delicate and subtle, an aroma far preferable to the sweat and dust I’d gotten used to. While wiping steam from the mirror after my shower, I thought about Amon.

He had become important to me. At first, it had been a mixture of curiosity and fascination that led me to follow him on his adventure, but now that I’d spent more time with him, I realized it wasn’t just fascination. I wasn’t doing all of this for the adventure or the thrills anymore. I cared about him.

As crazy as it was, I was falling for a guy as old as the desert. One who could turn into a falcon at will. A man who could twist sand into any form he chose. A handsome stranger who had seemingly zero interest in love and who put his own needs after everyone else’s.

I identified with that. How many times had I gone along with what my parents wanted even though I had no interest in whatever they were doing? How many empty relationships had I fostered with people who didn’t care a whit about me? How much longer was I going to deny myself what I really wanted?

I found Amon sitting listlessly at the kitchen table, an empty plate before him. Surrounding him were mountains of takeout containers. The spicy fragrance of meat and vegetables wafted toward me, but I had eyes only for the man with his elbows on the table, hands holding up his head.

Walking up behind him, I touched his shoulder. “What is it?” I asked. “Not hungry?”

Amon covered my hand with his and pulled me around to sit next to him. “How do you feel?” he asked. “Are you refreshed?”

“Yes,” I lied, giving him my best smile.

Cupping my chin, Amon studied my face. “Your skin is pallid and overly warm and you’ve lost flesh.”

“All the girls will want to try the new Egyptian god diet when I get home. ‘You can feast all you want as long as you’re willing to be an organ donor.’ ” I laughed lamely at my own joke, but Amon didn’t even crack a smile.

He let me go and pressed his head between his hands again.

“What’s all this about?” I asked. “Was it the fight with the shabti? Are you still feeling weak?”

“The golden falcon strengthened me, Young Lily. It is not my health you should be concerned with.”

“Then is this because of the other jars? They were all broken, weren’t they?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, so then what’s the next step?”

“There is no next step.”

“Well, we can still find your brothers, right? Everything will be okay, you’ll see. Even without all your powers, I’m sure you can do what you need to.”

“No, Lily, you do not understand. Without my jars, I will continue to drain your energy.”

“So we’ll move faster. You got one jar back, at least. That’s something. We’ll get your brothers as quickly as we can. You can’t give up hope.”

“Hope,” Amon scoffed. “Hope for whom? For what?”

“Hope for a better tomorrow, for both of us. It’s not over till it’s over. Don’t assume this can’t be fixed. Let’s just focus on one thing at a time. We now know that your jars are gone, so let’s worry about your brothers next.”

“My brothers. Perhaps,” Amon murmured. “Perhaps my brothers
can
help. One of them
is
a healer.”

“See? There you go. You’re thinking of other possibilities already.”

“The greatest possibility is that I will be the death of you, Young Lily. It would have been better for you had we never met.”

“Hey.” I scooted my chair a little closer to his. “It’s hard to kill a scrappy New Yorker. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that? Besides, if I’d never met you, my life would have been incredibly boring.”

“Better boring than succumbing to everlasting sleep.”

“You sure have a way with words. Everlasting sleep actually sounds pretty good right now.”

“Yes. You should rest. Sleep, Lily. I will awaken you when Dr. Hassan returns.”

“I’ll make a deal with you. I will sleep as long as you feast. All this food and you haven’t touched it, have you?”

“When you are ailing I find I have no appetite.”

“Well, even demigods need sustenance, so eat up. I expect all this to be at least half gone when I return.”

“Very well, Lily. I agree to your terms. I will eat if you will rest.”

“Good. Unless, of course, there’s a chance you want to rest together?” Amon raised an eyebrow, indicating such an idea wasn’t even worth considering. “Ah, well, a girl can try.” I sighed.