She cracked a smile. “Okay. It is a great adventure. Is that good enough for you?”
Levi gave in to the urge to touch her hand. “Being with you is good enough for me.”
“Manure. Too much manure.”
Levi didn’t defend himself. He laughed harder.
They sat until Rebecca decided she did not need to throw up and then, with determination, rode the rest of the rides worth doing inside. Once they stepped off the coaster with the ten-year-olds, they made their way to their bench. Rebecca sank onto it as if she would never rise again.
“You know, if you hold your breath on the big roller coaster, you’ll pass out,” he said.
“I’ll remember that.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “Do you think we could go out and get some fresh air?”
A wall of heat hit them as he led her through the big glass doors to a grassy spot in the shade. She stretched out on the ground and shielded her eyes from the sun. Levi sat next to her and tried not to think about how it would feel to lean over and brush his lips against hers.
“Hey, Levi.”
Tara and Levi’s friend Jason came toward them. Levi was afraid he might see the two of them today. Jason’s dad had gotten them all free tickets through his work. Jason had his hand in Tara’s back pocket. Tara grinned smugly. She cupped her hand around her mouth and whispered meaningfully to Jason. Jason looked at Rebecca and then at Levi, his eyes wide.
Great. Levi knew exactly what Tara said so secretly, and Jason was going to freak out. Levi formulated a strategy as the pair got closer.
“Is she okay?” Jason said, looking at Rebecca like she was from another planet.
“Yeah, the last ride made her a little dizzy.”
Tara stood over Rebecca. “Weak stomach, huh?”
“A little,” Rebecca mumbled, sitting up and smoothing her unruly hair.
Jason stuffed his hands into his pockets and trained his eyes on the ground.
Levi took a deep breath. Might as well put all his cards on the table. “This is my girlfriend, Rebecca Miller,” he said. “She’s Amish.”
Rebecca glanced at Levi and raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah,” Jason mumbled. “Tara told me.”
Tara tiptoed onto the grass and pulled Jason down to sit with her. “I didn’t know Amish girls were allowed at amusement parks,” she said.
Rebecca smiled a genuine smile—pretty impressive when faced with Tara’s disdain. “Lots of Amish come to amusement parks.” She pointed to the building with the kiddie rides. “We saw an Amish family in there.”
Tara stopped paying attention after a few seconds, but she seemed disappointed in Rebecca’s calm reply. She was obviously looking for a fight, not an olive branch.
Jason, on the other hand, hung on to every word Rebecca uttered. He frowned and studied Levi’s face with puzzlement then pulled some grass and played with it absentmindedly. He was tactful enough not to press for answers while Tara and Rebecca were around, but Levi knew he would hear about it later.
Sorry, Jason. How can I make you understand something I can’t fathom myself?
Jason did probably the only sensible thing he could. “Hey, I’m going to get one of those slushy drinks. Any of you guys want one?”
“No, thanks,” Levi and Rebecca said in unison.
“No,” Tara said, “but you go. I’ll wait for you here.”
Jason took off like a bullet from a gun.
“We’re doing the water park,” said Tara, “if you want to come. I know Rebecca is allowed in a swimming suit.”
“The roller coasters are next for us. Right, Rebecca?”
Rebecca turned as white as a sheet. “I think I should go to the bathroom.” She stood but motioned for Levi to stay put.
“It’s in that building over there,” Tara said.
“Thanks,” Rebecca said, already jogging in that direction.
Tara watched her until Rebecca was out of earshot. “Oh, she’s so cute,” she gushed. “Like your little pet.”
Levi expected the viciousness. He didn’t even flinch. Tara couldn’t help herself, but he didn’t have to stick around to take it.
He stood up. “I’ll go wait for Rebecca.”
Tara grabbed onto his pant leg. “Okay, I’m sorry. I was just kidding. Man, you are sensitive.”
“Really, Tara. I’m going to go wait over there.”
Tara laid her hands in her lap and stared him down with her pathetic kitten look. “I’ll behave, I promise.”
Levi hesitated.
“I want to be friends,” Tara insisted. “I really want to understand about you and this new girl. You hurt me, Levi.”
Levi recognized the manipulation but didn’t fight it. Groaning inwardly, he sat down and gave Tara his best no-nonsense expression.
“I’ve texted you like fifty times,” Tara said, “but you never answer. I don’t see why we can’t be friends, even if you don’t like me anymore.”
Levi shook his head. “Be honest, Tara. You want to get back together, and I don’t.”
Frustration flashed in Tara’s eyes. “This Amish thing is new and exciting and kind of weird, but I know you too well to think that it’s anything serious.”
No, Tara, you don’t know me at all. How could you, when I’m just beginning to know myself?
“I can’t figure out if you feel sorry for her or want to ease your guilty conscience. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but you’re not fooling me.” Tara suddenly seemed two feet nearer with her face uncomfortably close to his. “We were really good together.”
Levi leaned away from her. “Sorry, Tara. Being with you was really fun while it lasted, but I’ve never been happier in my life.”
Tara pulled away. “Never been happier in your life,” she said caustically. She stood up and shoved her phone into her back pocket—not leaving much room for Jason’s hand. “Remember, you could have had me. Think about that on those cold, lonely nights.”
She stormed away, leaving Levi with only pity for her.
When Rebecca got back from the bathroom, Levi was lying on the grass with his hands propped behind his head. “Did you throw up?” he said, peeking at her with one eye closed.
“Nae, but not for lack of trying,” Rebecca said, sitting at Levi’s feet. “Where is Tara and your friend?”
“Tara is probably in the next state by now.”
“Did you make her mad?”
“Furious.”
“Why?”
“I told her I’ve never been happier in my life.”
Rebecca didn’t say anything, and Levi opened his eyes to see her reaction. She was smiling but looked away when she caught him staring.
“You called me your girlfriend.”
Levi leaned up on his elbow. “Does that bother you?”
“I can bear it.”
Levi sat up. “Good, because the next phase of my strategy is to get you to hold hands with me in public.”
“You will be stuck on that one for quite some time.” She laughed, and he saved that sound in his memory. He probably wouldn’t hear it again for the rest of the day.
Levi got to his feet and pulled her up with barely a flick of his wrist. She was still so skinny. “Okay, are you ready for the rest of your day at Misery Park? I’m really looking forward to it.”
She let out a breath and nodded. “Where to?”
“I say we do go-carts first and save the big coasters for last. That way, you’re more likely to throw up at the end of the day instead of the beginning.”
They made their way to the big Trojan horse. The long wait in line proved to be a bad thing, because the longer Rebecca stood there, the more agitated she became. By the time they came to the front of the line, Levi couldn’t remember the last time he had heard her take a breath.
Before they got into their little cars, Levi said, “You don’t have to—”
“I know,” she said.
Not very patiently, the attendant showed Rebecca how to use her feet on the pedals. “Don’t slam on the brakes,” he said, “or you’ll cause a crash.”
Dread washed over Levi. One more thing to worry about on a long list of worries. Rebecca hadn’t the faintest idea how to maneuver a car, let alone have the instinct to push and release the pedals when she went flying around the track. The other drivers would eat her alive out there. He’d have to stay glued to her like a moth on flypaper. He clenched his teeth. Was it possible to roll the thing if she got going too fast? He said his third prayer in as many hours.
Please, don’t let her die.
Rebecca came out of the gates at a snail’s pace, but Levi knew her too well to think she’d keep to a conservative speed. She took perverse pleasure in terrorizing herself.
She pushed on the gas too hard, then slammed on the brakes, then punched the gas and squealed her wheels when she tried to slow down. This stop-and-start sequence went on for about a hundred yards before she abandoned the brake altogether and sped through the course with her head hunkered down over the steering wheel.
“Slow down, slow down,” Levi muttered as he doggedly followed her trail. She passed three other go-carts. Had she no sense of caution? By the time she thankfully reached the end of the course, Levi didn’t know whether the urge to strangle her or embrace her was stronger.
After she finally braked at the finish line, she unbuckled her seat belt and stumbled out of her go-cart like a drunken sailor. He wanted to throttle her. He didn’t.
“Did you see how fast I went?” she said.
“Yeah, I did.”
“I even passed three cars.” She panted and put her hand to her heart. “I thought I was going to die.”
“So did I.”
She walked almost deliriously in the direction of the first roller coaster. “That was the worst experience of my life,” she said. “But it’s off my list. Never, never have to do it again.”
Levi finally took pity on her and put his arm around her waist so she wouldn’t run into the trees on the edge of the walkway. The roller coasters would be worse for her but better for him. At least she wouldn’t be driving.
The long lines couldn’t be helped. Summertime in Wisconsin was short. People made the most of it. But it gave Rebecca a chance to recover from each ordeal before plunging into the following one. After each ride, she stumbled to the next, traumatized and shaken, but determined to finish what she set out to do.
Finally, the fastest roller coaster in the park was the only one left. The line for that snaked around the ride itself. After the other rides, Rebecca couldn’t fathom why this one was so popular. They sat together, with Rebecca keeping her viselike grip on the bar in front of them. She never held on to him when they did stuff like this. She had to attach herself to something completely immovable.
When the first drop came, she didn’t scream, just clamped her eyes shut and held her breath. He knew better than to say or do anything to divert her attention. She had to stay completely focused on survival. It took all his willpower not to gather her up in his arms and hold on for dear life.
When the coaster came to a screeching stop, he took her shaking hand and pulled her from her seat. They walked to the nearest unoccupied bench, where she sat down and buried her head in her hands—a pose she’d taken several times today.
“My head is throbbing,” she whispered.
“That was the last roller coaster. Only one more ride to go.” Levi studied her with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. Could he convince her, though he hadn’t been able to before, to give it up? Self-imposed torture was not his idea of fun.
“Wait here,” he said. He went to a concession stand and bought her a Coke. When he came back, she still held her head in her hands, oblivious to what went on around her. “Here, drink this,” he said. “It will make your head feel better.”
She took a sip and grimaced. “I hate Coke.”
Levi parked himself next to her. “We really can go—”
“Do not say it.”
“Okay. I just think this is so dumb. I don’t mean you’re dumb, but you hate this. Why don’t you change that insane list? Who cares if you ride a roller coaster before you die?”
“I know it seems crazy.” Rebecca looked at him out of the corners of her eyes and frowned. “You won’t tell anybody?”
“About your list? No way. You know I wouldn’t.”
Rebecca looked at the sky then at Levi before closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. “I am doing it for my friend, Dottie Mae, who passed away.”
“How did she die?”
Rebecca trained her attention on the ground in front of her. “She… It was horrible…” Rebecca’s voice broke, and she stopped to regain her composure.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Levi said, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.
Rebecca cleared her throat. “We were best friends. She had a way of getting into trouble because she was always looking for some new excitement. One day while doing laundry, she took a clean sheet to the roof and tried to use it like a parachute. She broke her ankle.”
“Ouch.”
“We always talked about what we would do when our time came for rumschpringe. She kept a list, an actual list, of things to do when she turned sixteen. I wasn’t that interested. I am a chicken at heart.”
Rebecca took another sip of her Coke and made a face. She concentrated on her straw as she slid it up and down in the hole in the lid. It squeaked noisily. “When she died, I promised myself I’d do everything on that list because she’d never get a chance.” She rubbed her eyes with her fists. “That’s why I’m going to finish. I have to do it for her.”
Thousand-ton weights pulled Levi’s heart to his toes. He wished with every fiber of his being that he didn’t know exactly how she felt. He had been responsible for cutting a life short. Someone wouldn’t ever have a chance to live her dream—because of him. He’d give anything to have that moment back again.
At times like this, he wished he hadn’t stopped drinking.
Why did he ever in a million years think he deserved someone like Rebecca—someone so perfect and innocent, who probably never had a vengeful or impure thought in her life?
Tara was right. He wasn’t fooling anybody.
Taking a deep breath, he leaned back on the bench and closed his eyes to let it pass. Rebecca didn’t need to see the inner turmoil he’d kept so well hidden. She’d experienced enough of her own.
“You have one last ride before we can get out of here,” he said. “I say we get it over with.”
Rebecca sucked up the remainder of her Coke with her straw. “Let’s go,” she said. “It will be fun.”