Authors: Leigh Greenwood
“Don’t you want to stay?”
“We’re not talking about what I want. We’re talking about a scandal because you ousted your own aunt and cousin because of me. A worse scandal if I stay here.”
“I’ll ask you again. Do you want to stay here with me?”
“Not like that. I’ll come to you with honor or not at all.”
Nathan didn’t look wholly displeased with her answer. “I don’t mean to remove her permanently. If she promises to do what I ask, she can return in a day or two.”
“Tonight.”
“That won’t be long enough.”
“Even one night would be too much.”
“I don’t understand Americans,” Nathan said, exasperated. “Last year Lord Ethelston banished his mother to the dower house. He even cut off her allowance for a month and allowed her just one maid. Everyone praised him for it. I attempt to chastise my aunt by a couple of nights in an overseer’s cottage and you say the townspeople will be ready to stone me.”
“I don’t know anything about England, but here we feel your family is your responsibility, no matter how bothersome that might be.”
“Serena is more than
bothersome,”
Nathan replied. “It doesn’t make any difference.”
“Does it make any difference that she is determined to make our lives miserable? Does it make any difference that every time she does something to you, I want to choke the life out of her?”
“Only to me,” Delilah said, her gaze softening. “To everyone in Springfield, you owe her more than me.”
“The hell I do,” Nathan exploded. “If she can’t stay here without always clawing and biting at you, she’ll have to go. And I don’t mean somewhere close by like the overseer’s cottage. Priscilla, too.”
Delilah found it difficult to be angry at Nathan when he talked like that, but she had to remind herself she was acting in everybody’s best interest, hers included.
“Maybe that’s part of why America is different from England. We don’t have a class of people who can treat others as they want and not care what ordinary people think. We have to work together. If somebody in the community needs something, others lend a hand whether it’s providing food, building a barn, taking in crops, or fighting a war.”
“That’s all very laudable.”
“But this kind of involvement requires everybody to act according to the community’s idea of proper behavior. If you were married and Serena refused to get along with your wife, you’d be justified in putting her out. But you’d have to make decent provision for her.”
“That’s why I—”
“But you can’t do such a thing before you’re married. And to mention my name would ruin me.”
“We could move to Boston.”
“We’re not talking about what
we
would do. We’re talking about you and Serena. As far as Springfield is involved, I don’t come into it at all.”
“But you’re at the center of it.”
“I can’t be.”
Nathan continued to look at her with a tender concern that nearly melted her resistance. Why couldn’t falling in love be easy?
“I’ll let her come back in a few days if she promises to leave you alone, but I’m putting you in charge of the house.”
“You can’t do that either.”
“Is there anything this
community
of yours is going to allow me to do? And in my own home, I would like to point out. It’s more of a tyrant than Serena.”
“As long as I’m a servant in your house, you can’t do these things.”
“Then marry me now.”
“You promised to give me a month.”
“That was before you put my household at the mercy of every female within a hundred miles.”
Delilah smiled sympathetically. “It’s not that bad. You can do just about anything to control your own household, and the men will take your part.”
Nathan grabbed Delilah and drew her to him. “I don’t care about the good people of Springfield, and I don’t care about Serena. I just care about you. I love you, Delilah, more than I ever thought I could love anybody. It’s all I can do to see you in this house day in and day out and not touch you.”
“Reuben—”
“I’ll hell with Reuben! I’m sick of hearing his name. I don’t keep my hands off you because of Reuben. I’d shoot him if that were the only way I could have you. I’m sorry. When it comes to you, I don’t have any of your finer feelings for my fellow man. I want Serena out of the house, because if she continues to hurt you, I’m afraid I’ll kill her.”
Delilah’s eyes were so misty she couldn’t see Nathan’s face. The adorable idiot. Did he think she was so fragile she couldn’t stand a little hard work? Didn’t he know as long as he continued to be so fiercely protective of her there was nothing Serena Noyes or anybody else could do that had any power to touch her?
Delilah smiled at his lack of understanding. “Don’t you understand that Serena can’t hurt me? You’re the only one with that power. As long as you love me, I won’t care if I have to oil every floor between here and Boston.”
Nathan held her close to his heart. “I won’t let you work on your knees, not for Serena, not for anyone.”
“It doesn’t matter. It won’t last.”
“Don’t you understand? I want to do things for you. I want to give you gowns, jewels, houses, servants. I want to lay the whole world at your feet.”
Delilah laughed with happiness. “I don’t want the world. I think it would soon become a great burden. I want only you. If we wait, if we’re patient—”
“Wait! Be patient! God, how I hate those words. Once I waited, I was patient, and what happened? Lady Sarah Mendlow completely and utterly destroyed me.”
“I don’t know what occurred,” Delilah said, correctly divining Nathan’s meaning, “but maybe she did you a better turn than you know.”
Nathan gave her a hard look.
“You were never meant to be a suppliant in another man’s house. If you come asking for something on your knees, and it’s granted, you can never stand upright afterward. That would destroy you.”
Nathan held Delilah close and buried his head in the crook of her neck. “I wish I’d met you long ago,” he said softly. “I might not be so bitter now.”
“Think of Serena in the same way. She’s frightened and she’s confused.”
“Will she ever understand?”
“No, but as much as you would like to, you can’t throw her out of your house.”
“I’ll think about it. In the meantime, as much as it pains me, I’ll stay in Springfield.”
“But that would be worse. You can’t—”
“I’ve spent enough time thinking about Serena for one morning,” Nathan said, banishing his aunt from his mind. He slipped an arm around Delilah and guided her over to the window. The garden was bare, the hillside long stripped of its color, but the raw majesty of the landscape never failed to lift his spirits. “How is Mrs. Wheaton doing with her flax? While I was in Boston I found an English agent who will pay gold if I can deliver top quality thread.”
Delilah had finally convinced Nathan to try the American custom of having a big hot meal at midday and a simpler, cold meal in the evening. Serena chose to eat her dinner in the cottage, but Priscilla came to the table.
“I’ve noticed a change in you over the last few days, Priscilla,” Nathan observed. “Somehow you seem less submissive—or would you prefer accommodating?—than before.”
“I’ve never wanted to be submissive or accommodating to you,” said Priscilla, her soft voice in stark contrast to the angry glitter in her eyes. “I’m only here tonight because of Mother.”
“How about the night you came to my bedroom?” Nathan asked. “I got the impression you were more than willing to be
accommodating
then.”
Delilah was shocked to see Priscilla blush. Nathan had asked her to eat with him, but she insisted upon continuing with her duties until Reuben’s debt was paid.
“You weren’t interested in me, were you? Just how much money you might be able to scare out of me? You would have succeeded, too, if your mother hadn’t been so afraid of what Delilah might do behind her back.”
“I’ve never been interested in you,” Priscilla replied, fury underlining her words. “I wouldn’t marry you if you begged me on bended knee, not even for Mother’s sake.”
“Calm yourself. I won’t ask for your hand, and certainly not on my knees.” They stared at each other like circling combatants.
“And Mother?”
“I think that rests with you.”
“How do you mean?”
“She’s obviously unable to control herself. Even without the brandy, I doubt she could keep to any resolution she made.”
Priscilla looked mortified at the mention of the brandy, but she didn’t appear to be ready to back down. “Are you saying she can move back into the house?”
“On two conditions, one of which applies to you”
Priscilla’s body stiffened. “What are they?”
“Serena must agree to relinquish all control of the household. She’s free to let everyone else believe things are as they always were, but I want it clearly understood that I make all decisions.”
“And your condition for me?”
Delilah thought Priscilla looked unusually nervous. Could she possibly believe that after virtually fighting her off for months, Nathan intended to make physical demands on her?
“You must stay home to make sure she keeps her promise.”
Priscilla flushed again, but she was clearly relieved.
“I don’t wish to know where you go or what you do—that’s between you and your mother—but she clearly can’t control herself.”
“Is that all?”
“Should there be more?”
“I thought you might make some announcement” She glanced significantly at Delilah who stood by the sideboard. “After all, it’s unusual to keep servants in the room when discussing family business. Unless they’ve already become part of the family.”
Nathan couldn’t see Delilah’s body stiffen at Priscilla’s words, but he could feel it.
“I think your mother should be present for any further discussion. Ask her to join us in the drawing room next evening.”
Both Delilah and Priscilla looked questioningly at him, but he resumed eating and soon directed the conversation into different channels.
“I don’t think I should be present,” Delilah said as soon as Priscilla left. “There’s nothing to tell them about me.”
“On the contrary, there’s quite a lot.”
On that enigmatic note, Nathan got up from the table, leaving Delilah to wonder what he meant to say. Her abstraction was so pronounced that both Lester and Mrs. Stebbens noticed it.
“Give me that,” Lester said when Mrs. Stebbens started to hand Delilah a beautifully crafted serving dish. “The way she’s mooning about, she wouldn’t know it wasn’t a tin cup.”
“You do seem a bit befuddled, Mrs. Stebbens said. “You sure you’re feeling all right?”
“How can anybody be feeling right with Mrs. Noyes put out of the house,” Lester complained, “and Miss Priscilla running about like a weasel robbed of its dinner. Here, Tommy, watch where you’re going, or you’ll end up in the wood box with the kindling.”
Lester took his precious serving dish to the pantry, and Tommy went out to split more wood for the breakfast cooking.
“If you ask me, he should have thrown her out long ago,” Mrs. Stebbens said. “If he hadn’t come home when he did, I was about to quit. Not that it would make any difference, you being able to cook better than me anyway.”
“You could take over the sewing, and I could do the cooking,” suggested Delilah.
“Never in your life. Mr. Nathan wouldn’t give up your serving him.” Delilah blushed, which Mrs. Stebbens didn’t miss. “I swear that man would eat sawdust and not know any better as long as you served it to him. Is he going to ask you to marry him?”
“I … he …”
“Don’t you let him go making any indecent propositions, not that I think he would, him being nutty on you like he is, but you never can tell about them English gentlemen. They don’t act like regular folks.”
“He’s asked me,” Delilah admitted reluctantly, “but there’s so much to consider.”
“Now don’t you go letting other people’s carryings-on keep you from looking out for yourself,” Mrs. Stebbens advised. “If he wants to throw himself at you, along with this house and all his money, who are you to tell him he’d be better of with some Boston socialite with corn-silk hair and pale blue eyes? No reason you shouldn’t have it.”
“It’s not his money I’m thinking of.”
“Considering what he’s got stuffed in them breeches, I should think not,” Mrs. Stebbens said with a wicked chuckle. “But you can’t stay in bed all the time. When you get up, it’s nice to be able to put on silks and have somebody else do the cooking and cleaning.”
“He said he’d give me a month to make up my mind.”
“Don’t you take no month. Men are terrible about changing their minds. Just like children, they are. They see something new and they got to have it. Don’t matter they got something better back home.”
“I wouldn’t want a husband like that.”
“Lord help us, child, they can’t help it. They don’t mean to be so wishy-washy, it’s just how they’re made. Why do you think us womenfolk have any control over them at all? It’s because deep down they know they’re foolish creatures. Oh, they wouldn’t tell you for the life of them, but they listens. I know they do. There’s not a man in the state, no matter how stupid, who will listen to a word a woman has to say about the law or how to run his business. But you show me one, even that nasty Silas Bennett, who doesn’t listen to what his wife has to say when it comes to things having to do with family and community.”
Delilah doubted Nathan could be counted among that number, but she decided against trying to convince Mrs. Stebbens. “I still don’t know. He’s so different from us.”
“He’s a man, ain’t he?”
“Certainly.”
“Then he’s like every other, man. The good Lord didn’t make them deep, just full of sin and so nice looking in breeches even old prunes like Mrs. Porter can’t help noticing your Nathan.”
“Don’t call him my Nathan. He may say he dotes on me and would give me the world if he could, but he always seems to end up doing things his way.”
“It’s all that conniving bitch’s fault,” Serena said to Priscilla as they walked up to the house two nights later. “She’s the one who’s put him up to it.”