"Smart. I'll tell Will."
His eyes narrow a little, "How's he feeling?"
I shake my head, "He doesn’t say much. You know what he's like."
He snorts, "Yeah, he's you, but he's got a dick."
I frown.
He laughs. I don’t see what's funny about that statement. Sometimes I still get lost in conversations, but I've come a long way.
Mitch nudges me, "Emma doesn’t like talking about dicks, she likes killing shit."
My face is getting red. I glance at Meg's grave where Leo is sitting alone and point, "I'm going to say hi to Meg." I walk past them and try to not hear their laughing.
It takes me a minute to pull the dead branches and leaves off the mound of rocks. Leo sits, looking regal. His eyes always get sad when he's with her.
I kneel beside him and run my hands down his back.
I don’t look down into the rock pile though. I look up and smile, "Hey, Meg."
I know she's there. I know very few things, but I know that.
After a minute Jake is there beside me. The warmth of his body next to mine is nice.
"Hi, Meg."
Leo whines a little and lies down. Jake nods his head. I can tell he's saying something in his head. I reach over, taking his hand in mine. He doesn’t look at me but he squeezes.
I hear boots behind us, "Wanna take a hot shower? I got the power up and running now. The inverter is finally fixed."
I glance back at Star, "Seriously?"
She grins.
Jake winks at me, "I'll race you to the showers."
I stick my tongue out, "Just go first. My legs are broken from that damned horse."
He helps me up, "No, you go first."
Star laughs, "Always the gentleman."
His eyes burn, "Not always."
Chapter Twelve
The next day the saddle instantly picks a fight with my butt. I wince and wait for the numb to take over again.
Mitch laughs, "Oh, that was a face. Sore arse, Emma?"
I growl and give him a hard look. He puts his hands up defensively but continues laughing.
Jake gives me a shitty grin too. I snarl and nod at Star, "I'll send word when the snow hits, and if anything remarkable happens."
She winks, "I'll send word if I find Daddy Dearest."
I have created a monster. She is more like me daily, like she's picking up the cold hateful pieces I am losing. I nod, "Don’t go after him without me." I don’t want him to kill her. We may not be close, but she's all I have left. She's my blood.
She slaps the butt of the horse, "Have a safe trip." My horse leaps into action. I almost cry out. I need to learn to ride horses better. Flopping around in the seat might be the death of me.
Sully waves us off at the gate. I can't make myself trust him. He does everything he can to earn our trust and help us, but to me he was one of them. I have to force myself to see Jack when I look at him. No matter what, I see the picture I made in my head of them eating people. It makes me gag a little.
Mitch and Jake pass me, making dust for me to follow. I see movement to the right as we pass the crater. I pull an arrow and make an attempt at the matted, red hair of the monster stumbling along the grass. I loose two arrows but they both miss. Leo looks at me and then sprints off to the side. He snaps her neck and catches up to me. I sigh, I need to learn to shoot from a horse. This is my new goal.
We pass the place where Fish and the gang captured us, and I try again on a deer running alongside the destroyed road. I'm going to run out of arrows at this rate. Leo doesn't even attempt the deer. I think he's starting to feel sorry for me so he's pretending to not see my sucky aim.
The guard on the platform in the tree is an amazing sight. He waves at us as we ride in. Jake has the extra horse tied to him so he goes directly to the right when we break the forest. The farmhouse and the small village look bigger than before. More people maybe.
Will comes out smiling. He looks red, not burnt, but winded. I'm going to smack him around. He grabs my horse's reigns but smiles at Mitch, "Hey, man. How's it going?"
Mitch hops off his horse like we just did a quick jaunt around the yard. He doesn't look like he might die any second. I can't get off the horse fast enough, but when I do my legs buckle. Leo is there when I fall. I lean on his huge back, "Thanks, buddy."
Mitch and Will are hugging. I can see relief on Mitch's face. "I heard you were gone, brother."
Will glances at me, "Yeah, I was for a little while."
Mitch smacks his arm, "Even the devil didn’t want you, huh?"
Will chuckles, "Naw."
Mitch sees Anna, I see the sadness on his face. He nods that way, "Going to go see how the momma-to-be is doing."
Will turns to me, "Sore butt?"
I want to whine and soak it in hot water. I sigh, "It hurts."
He pulls me into his arms, rubbing my butt gently, "Come on. I'll give you a butt massage."
I shove him away, "No. I can tell you're all sweaty and red. You didn’t relax."
He grabs my arm, knowing I hate that and plants a kiss on my lips. I can feel the challenging smile on his lips, "Come relax with me."
I shake my head, "That’s not relaxing."
He laughs and wraps his arm around me, pulling the horse to the pen.
Anna gives me a sad look; she's talking to Mitch but I can see something is wrong.
"What's up with Anna?"
He sighs, "She's been having cramps all day. She thinks she's going to lose the baby."
The words trigger something in my mind, "Bed rest."
He frowns, "What?"
I nod, "Bed rest. My mom was scared she was losing me; the doctors put her on bed rest."
He frowns, "Really?"
"Yeah. You get the horse and I'll get the pregnant, crazy woman into bed."
He swats me on the butt. I growl but it just makes his eyes flash with humor.
Nearly limping, I make it over to her and point at the house, "Come with me."
I take her hand and pull her inside. She tries to pull back but I don’t relent. My butt is killing me, my legs are exhausted, and I'm moody and hungry. I get to the back rooms and pull her into the one that she sleeps in alone. I close the door and point at the bed, "Bed rest."
She whispers, "What?"
I nod, "Bed rest. My mom was sure she was losing me and the doctors put her on bed rest. You had the infection, you shouldn’t even be able to have babies. You need to stay on bed rest."
Her face drops, "Em, I'll go nuts in here."
I shake my head, "You have to choose, baby or sanity."
She kicks her boots off and climbs into the bed. She frowns, "I need books. That Da Vinci one was good, but I'm out."
I nod, "I'll get books. You sit."
She wrinkles her nose, "How long do I have to stay in here?"
I shrug, "I don’t know. I guess until you feel normal again. Lay back so then the baby can't fall out."
She laughs and curls up on the bed. I can see she's exhausted.
I kick my boots off too and climb onto the bed with her. She grimaces, "You smell like horse."
I grin, "Yeah, well I had a shower yesterday at Star's, so I should smell like the lavender shampoo they're making there."
Her eyes bug open, "The hot water is back?"
I nod.
She moans in a wheezy whisper, "Oh, man. I need a hot shower. I made Nan heat me water on the fire and pour it on me, but it wasn’t the same."
I close my eyes, "It was amazing."
She whispers against my face, "You ever miss the breeder farm?"
I smile, "Yup."
The door opens. I glance back to see Sarah. I laugh, "Speaking of missing the breeder farms."
Sarah kicks her shoes off and climbs on the bed with us. "Will said you were back." She curls in between me and Anna. "I don’t miss the farms, I miss the cook."
I laugh and close my eyes again.
I don’t dream, I sleep completely peacefully. When I wake, I'm next to Will. I open my eyes to see him staring at me. He must have moved me in the night. He runs a hand down my cheek. I smile and close my eyes again. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me into him.
"You smell good."
I moan, "Mmmm, I had a shower at Star's. She knew Bernie had kept a bunch of solar panel stuff in the metal bunker under the house. The H.E.M.P. didn’t ruin it. She had to get something called an inverter fixed and then have it all hooked up. I didn’t think she'd be able to do it, but she did."
"They have power?"
I nod.
He makes a whistle sound, "That’s dangerous."
I open my eyes, "Why?"
He shakes his head, "Baby, we never want to have more than anyone else. We don’t want to have the things they don’t. If we have just enough to live, then no one is going to come and attack us and try to take it. People see power and then they want to rule."
"But she's going to get sheriffs and law enforcement. Maybe if they have some hangings or shootings, the bad people will stay away."
He shakes his head, "Not smart. Marshall was smart, how he did it. The camp and retreat were based entirely upon the group being a council and us only ever having what we needed. We were never the target of bandits or raids. We had a good population but not too much stuff."
I feel myself nodding off again, "It's sad we can't ever have anything ever again."
I sleep through the night, waking to Leo shifting on the bed. Will is wrapped around me totally and Leo is on my feet. I wrestle out from under them both and climb out of bed.
My legs are better and my butt doesn’t hurt anymore. There is definitely a perk to being me.
I pull on my boots and Will's long-sleeve shirt. It smells like him, his stink that, for whatever reason, I like.
I stroll out into the kitchen. Nan smiles, "Hey, kid."
I nod, "Morning."
Her eyes dart to the right, "They caught someone on the property this morning."
I look at the door and think about what Will and I had talked about. I strap my holsters to my thighs and walk out of the house, "Just one person?"
She nods.
Mitch gives me a look from across the gravel yard. I see a young man with long, dark hair. His dirty face is thin and tired looking. When he sees me, his eyes get trapped, staring at the guns on my legs.
I sling my bow and quiver over my shoulder and crunch my way to where Mitch is.
"Found us a friend in the woods. The guards caught him."
I stare at the dark eyes of the young man and nod, "Execute him."
Mitch's jaw drops, "He could help around here."
I shake my head, "This isn’t a work camp; we don’t keep slaves." I walk to the guy, wiping my hand down the dirt on his face, "This dirt was rubbed on. I bet he followed us yesterday. He's a scout." I lift his lip, discovering perfect, white teeth. I give Mitch a look, "Take him behind the barn. I'll execute him."
Mitch scowls, "Em, you don’t want to do this."
I grab the arm of the guy from Mitch, "I'll do it myself then."
The guy's mouth opens, "Fine, fine. She's right. I'm a scout. We fled from the city; we knew where the retreat was. It was on a map. Please, I'm a doctor."
My eyes narrow, "You’re twenty—how could you be a doctor?"
His eyes search mine for compassion. I know he's going to come up empty. He flinches at my cold stare, "I was apprenticing under some of the doctors in the city. I was learning to be a breeder doctor."
His eyes are crystal clear, like mine and Star's, "You're a Gen baby."
His eyes narrow for a second but he doesn’t say anything. His lips press together.
I reach up, grabbing his shirt, "ARE YOU?"
"YES!"
I jerk him back and release him, "Shit." I look at Mitch, "He's my brother, but he's from the city. Send scouts into the woods."
The guy’s eyes get nervous when I say it. He makes a face and then smiles, "You're Emma."
I grab his thick arm and drag him to the barn and point at the bunker in the floor, giving Mitch a deadly look, "Open that."
Mitch gives me a look but he does it. I push my new brother down into the hole and slam the lip. His green-blue eyes are the last thing I see of his face. I click the latch on the bunker and run my hands over my face, "Shit."
Panic is filling me. My father might be in the woods, or at Bernie's. Of course he would know where the retreat was and where Bernie lived. I slap my forehead, "Stupid, stupid, stupid."
Mitch grabs my arm, "Em, chill out. It's one guy."
I shake my head, "No. The city burned; they have nowhere to go. They’ve never been out here in the wild. They know where we've set up camp and villages. They had a room filled with maps. They know where we live." I can hear the panic in my voice.