Authors: Cher Carson
“Oh, it’s okay for you to make out with other women, but I can’t kiss other men?”
He let his hands fall to his sides. He knew this was pointless. They had never defined their relationship, didn’t have a promise or commitment to remain faithful. “Brook, we need to talk, to figure this thing out.”
She shook her head, reaching for the buttons on his shirt. “I know, later, I promise.” She pushed his blazer over his shoulders, her fingers flying over the buttons running the length of his shirt. “You’re so sexy,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his chest.
He tilted his head back, closing his eyes as her mouth moved over his skin. His control could snap like a dry twig at the least provocation tonight. He was wound so tight, so tense and frustrated.
She moved to his belt, then the front of dress pants. She stripped his clothing slowly, kissing the length of his body until he was finally naked and she was on her knees in front of him.
He held the back of her head. “I can’t let you do that right now, sweetheart.”
She looked up at him, her eyes pleading. “Please, I need to make you feel the way you make me feel.”
He resisted the urge to pull her back, understanding her need to make him lose control. He felt the same way. He wanted to break down her walls, destroy her resistance, and make her accept the obvious… they belonged together.
She held him in her hand, closing her eyes as she sealed her mouth over his hot, hard shaft.
He watched her relax her throat, taking him deeper into her mouth, fixated on giving him pleasure. He fell a little harder, a little deeper in love with her in that moment. She caressed his balls gently, licking and sucking him reverently.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to talk himself down off the ledge. “I don’t want to…”
“I want you to,” she whispered, swiping her tongue over his smooth sac. “I want you to come in my mouth.”
Once she started sucking him hard and fast, he knew there was no way he could control it, so he gave into his body’s urgings and shot his hot come down the back of her throat. Watching her struggling to swallow fast enough to take it all made him want to pleasure her. He wanted to do this all night, make love to her, let her make love to him.
He took her hand in his, leading her toward the bed. He pushed the suede duvet down and climbed in, pulling her down beside him. “I need a minute to get my bearings.” He grinned. “It’s been a while.”
She pressed her lips to his chest, smiling when she felt the pounding beat of his heart. “Too long.”
He curved his arm around her waist, kissing her forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
He chuckled. “It worked. That was one hell of a surprise. So, this thing between us…”
She set her chin on his chest, looking him in the eye. He was everything she’d ever wanted, but a relationship seemed impossible, given the distance between them. “We both have demanding careers, Steve. That’s not going to change any time soon.”
He stroked her hair, letting it slip through his fingers. “I know. I’ve got three to five years left to play, and it’s not like Oregon has a hockey team. I couldn’t ask for a trade, even if I wanted to.”
She was stunned by his statement. “You would actually consider a trade? But your best shot at winning another Cup is right here.”
He kissed her lips. “I’ve already won a Cup, but I’ve never been married, never had kids. I want that. Don’t you?”
She’d love to be able to wake up him beside him every morning, but they were still a long way from having a conversation about forever. “Sure, someday, but…”
He closed his eyes. “But you’re not there yet. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make assumptions.”
She propped herself up on one elbow. “I’m crazy about you, you know that, but a lifetime commitment is something I take seriously. I think the bigger issue is how we’re going to handle the foreseeable future, don’t you?”
He sighed. “We’re not even half-way through this season. It’ll be months before I can even think about coming down there. With my travel schedule…”
“And with my work schedule, the time I have to spend in court. It’s a hopeless situation, isn’t it?” She didn’t want it to be, she wanted him to tell her they could find a way to make it work, but she was too much of a realist not to see the flaws in a long-distance relationship.
“Sweetheart, it’s not like I can just hop a plane to come and see you on the weekends. We have a game almost every Saturday night, practices, travel days. The team owns me for eight months of the year. That’s just the way it is.”
She sighed. He sounded as defeated as she felt. “I know, and the only time I can get off is a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday, not both. It would never work, Steve.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Baby, I can’t let you go again. This is too damn hard.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I was being selfish.” She tried to blink back the tears. “I just needed to see you.”
“I’m glad you came. I needed to see you, too.”
“Even if it’s just to put this behind us, find a way to move on?”
He sat up, setting her at arm’s length. “Is that what you’re suggesting? That we just give up?”
She knew she was hurting him, it was destroying her too, but she didn’t see a viable solution. “I don’t know what else to do. We can’t figure out a way to be together, and we sure as hell can’t keep doing this to each other.”
He leaned forward, thrusting his hands through his hair. “So that’s it then? No more phone calls, text messages, surprise visits, we just end it here and now.”
“We’ve tried being friends for the past three months. I know there’s no way I can move on with my life if you’re in it. It’s a constant reminder of what might have been, what I walked away from.”
He jumped up, stalking across the room to grab a robe off a chair in the adjoining sitting room. “Why the fuck did you walk away? Why couldn’t you have stayed, given us a chance?”
She sat up, shocked that he was so resentful she’d had the courage to follow her dream. “I did what I had to do. I’ve worked my ass off to be a lawyer. I’ve invested years in my education and career. I’ve known you a few months. You actually expected me to drop everything for some playboy hockey player who’s never had a serious relationship in his life?”
He put the black robe on, securing the belt around his waist. “That’s how you see me, huh? You never took me seriously, did you? I was never gonna be good enough, no matter what I did. Was I just a fun diversion, someone to listen to you vent when you were having a bad day or someone to take the edge off when you needed some to fuck you?”
She held the sheet to her breasts, the malice in his words rendering her temporarily speechless. “How can you say that?”
“You left without even giving me a second thought. You threw yourself into your career and your life there, making friends, dating God only knows how many men.”
“What would you have me do, sit home alone every night while you’re out whoring around with anything in a short skirt?”
He picked up a crystal globe from an end table in the sitting room and threw it against the wall, shattering it. “Fuck that, I wanted you. I didn’t want anyone else. I haven’t fucked anyone else. I haven’t kissed anyone else. I haven’t even had a goddamn blowjob since you left. Not because you expected me to be faithful, but because I couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else, so don’t you fuckin’ talk to me about whoring around.” By the time he finished his tirade, he was shaking, his face flushed. He walked to the bathroom door. “Get the fuck out. Get out of my house, get out of my life. I don’t ever want to see you again.” He slammed the door with enough force to knock a picture off the wall, causing the glass to shatter.
Steve leaned against the bathroom counter, drawing deep breaths. He listened to the sound of her footsteps on the hardwood floor, receding down the hall. He opened the bathroom window and listened to the sound of the door slam and the soft hum as her car drove away.
He sank down on the edge of the Jacuzzi, dropping his head into his hands. Tears were a sign of weakness, or so his old man taught him, so he wouldn’t allow himself to give into the despair tearing at him. He held it in, sucked it up, because that’s what he was supposed to do. Even when he was dying inside.
Seventy-three days, that’s how long it had been since Steve lost his temper, throwing her out of his house. In the days following the incident, she expected him to call or email, maybe send her flowers to apologize for overacting. But when days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, she finally began to accept the inevitable. He meant what he said; he never wanted to see her again.
She went through the motions at work, trying to give each case her undivided attention, but she couldn’t seem to muster the same enthusiasm she’d once had. And it wasn’t just her job, it was everything. She’d stopped waking up forty-five minutes early to jog four miles before work.
Instead, she pulled the covers over her head and cursed the start of another day. Dinner was often a bowl of cereal or bag of take-out because she couldn’t seem to summon the energy to care about eating the right balance of food to fuel her body.
She recognized the signs of depression that were plaguing her, and she knew she had to do something to turn things around before she slipped further into the abyss. She was scared, but she had no idea what to do or where to go for help.
Picking up her cell phone, she scrolled her contacts, looking for the number for her new doctor. Maybe she could help. Before she could press the button to dial, her office phone buzzed.
Sighing, she picked up the phone. “Yes, Linda?”
“Chase Hudson is here to see you. He doesn’t have an appointment, but he says it’s important.”
She considered half a dozen scenarios to justify Steve’s best friend paying her a visit. “Send him in, thank you.”
She reached into her desk, looking for her spare compact. She’d been so busy, she hadn’t even run a brush through her hair since seven o’clock that morning. Groaning, she realized it was too late to repair the damage. He would just have to tell Steve the truth: she looked like hell because she was missing him.
She stood, smoothing a hand over her black, straight skirt, straightening her matching jacket as she took a deep breath and waited for him to enter.
Chase tapped his knuckles against the door.
She cleared her throat. “Come in.” She plastered on her best fake smile. “Chase, this is a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?”
He stepped inside the office, crossing the small room to give her a kiss on the cheek.
She was surprised by the show of affection. She’d met Chase and his wife Taylor only once, that day at the cottage. Given his loyalty to his best friend, she expected him to be as bitter and resentful as Steve.
“It’s good to see you again, Brooklyn,” he said, smiling. “I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by without calling to make an appointment?”
She gestured to one of the guest chairs on the opposite side of her desk. “Not at all. Please, have a seat. How are Taylor and the baby?”
Chase beamed like the proud new daddy he was. “They’re fantastic, thanks.” He reached into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. He passed it to her, showing her the screen saver of his four-month-old daughter, Eliza, clutching a teddy bear.
Brooklyn felt an unexpected lump rise in her throat, forcing her to swallow. “She’s gorgeous. You and Taylor must be very proud.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, we happen to think she’s the smartest, most beautiful baby in the world, but we’re a little biased.”
“Steve mentioned that you asked him to be the godfather. I know he was honored.”
Chase smiled. “He’s amazing with her, spoils her rotten though. I’m telling you, I had no idea Steve was such a softie. That tiny baby has him wrapped around her little finger.” An image of Steve holding a newborn baby popped into her head and she had to force it out.
“I’m a little surprised to see you, Chase. What brings you all the way out here?”
If he was taken aback by the abrupt change in conversation, he didn’t let on. “I didn’t want to discuss this over the phone. It seemed a little too personal.”