Martina looked over Lexi’s shoulder and up toward the loft where Jax had gone. “I think that’s a good decision. Listen to him, Lexi. This is your future. Don’t throw it away for one hot guy.”
Lexi said nothing. Because saying nothing was far kinder than anything else that would come out of her mouth now.
As soon as Martina stepped out of the shop, Lexi locked the door and turned toward the stairs. She barely kept herself from running and reached the landing just as Jax was starting for it.
She put her hands up and blocked his path. “This is not your fault, and you’re not leaving just because some idiot—”
“No.” He said, resolute. “Not just some idiot, Lexi. All idiots. And there are plenty out there.” He had pulled on the T-shirt Lexi had brought home from New York after wearing it back to her room after their first night together. His eyes were dark with guilt and shame and pain. “It won’t end, Lex. And I won’t be the reason everything you’ve worked for goes to shit. I don’t know how I ever thought…”
“Jax.” Lexi had never felt so desperate. It was completely illogical but so very real. She couldn’t lose him. “I don’t care. I don’t care about the competition. I don’t care about the partnership. I was already considering trashing the idea—”
“Make your decisions. Do what you’re going to do. But they won’t be based on whether or not I’m in your life, dragging you down.”
“You’re not—”
“I’m sorry, baby. I should have known better.”
He pushed past her.
She grabbed the back of his shirt, feeling like a psychotic stalker. “Jax, please…”
He stopped only to turn back and pull her in for a kiss. “I’m so sorry.”
He broke free of her grip and skipped down the stairs as if he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Lexi had to force herself not to plead with him, but she was desperate enough.
She turned toward the balcony and gripped the metal rail. “Jax, if you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave.”
He stopped with the front door halfway open.
Please don’t go.
He turned his head, looked up at her. “I’m leaving
because
I really love you, Lex.”
Twenty-Four
Six weeks to the day that Jax had walked out of her studio, Lexi sat at her drawing table, a pen in hand. She toggled it back and forth between her fingers. Dragged her lip between her teeth.
“Just write it already.” Rubi sat cross-legged on Lexi’s bed, surfing the Web. “I’m not staying here all night.”
Everything with Jax had been a risk. That was what Jax was all about—risk. Lexi was pretty good at taking risks. Calculated risks. But this wasn’t the least bit calculated.
Still undecided, Lexi penned his name on the envelope, each letter careful and deliberate.
Bentley Jaxon Chamberlin
He would find it ridiculously formal.
But Lexi wanted him to know that she knew every part of him, loved every part of him, wanted every part of him.
On the bottom of the invitation, she added a personal note. Had to fight herself from adding
I miss you. I love you.
And just signed her name.
She sighed and slid it into the envelope.
If he doesn’t respond, it wasn’t meant to be.
She licked the tip of the flap and pressed it closed.
If he doesn’t show, something better waits for me.
She turned it over and ran her fingers over his name.
“Tick-tock, tick-tock,” Rubi said, pushing to her feet and sliding into rhinestoned flip-flops. “I’m tired. I want to go slide into a bathtub.”
Lexi glanced over her shoulder. “Did you find him?”
“Yep. He snagged that Bond job back and he and his crew have been playing on the Sixth Street Bridge.” She walked up to her drawing table, met Lexi’s gaze, and held out her hand. “Now or never.”
Lexi pulled the inside of her cheek between her teeth and offered the invitation to Rubi.
When she started to close her fingers, Lexi pulled it back. “Just…don’t…say anything. Just give it to him and walk away.”
“Sure, hon, that’s going to happen.”
Rubi grabbed for the envelope. Lexi pulled it back again.
“And…if he’s with a woman…
absolutely
don’t give it to him.”
Rubi’s lids lowered in warning. “Lexi. Let go.”
Lexi closed her eyes and forced herself to let go of control. Rubi snatched the invitation, kissed her cheek, and her flip-flops tick-tick-ticked down the stairs to the front door.
“Rubi,” Lexi called. When her friend turned and faced Lexi, she said, “Thank you.”
As soon as Rubi closed and locked the door behind her, Lexi turned to her sewing machine and the yards of butter-like crimson leather she’d bought at the London Fabric Expo.
Twenty-Five
Jax swung his legs over the steel beam running beneath the Sixth Street Viaduct and seated the bend of his knees solidly over the metal.
Then let go.
He swung upside down over the concrete running alongside the trench that guided the Los Angeles River through the city.
He clapped his gloved hands. “Let’s finish this.”
Troy, the Renegades’ rigging master, tossed him the first cable. “Start with the third hole and thread them backward.”
Jax did as directed. Sweat dripped from his chest to his neck. Neck to cheeks. Then slid into his eyes.
“Goddamn.” He used his forearms to wipe it away.
“Welcome to my world, bro.”
“So fucking complicated…” He caught the next cable, threaded it. Wiped at sweat. “Can’t just make…” He caught the last cable, threaded it. “A simple jump anymore.”
Another cable came at him. A fourth cable, for which there was no use. Jax turned his head and caught the carabiner attached to the end just before it cracked his jaw.
“What the fuck?” he sputtered, hand in front of his face in case Troy decided to throw another. “Troy!”
“Oh yeah.” He pulled his gaze up from the concrete below, where the rest of their team worked. “Sorry, boss. Little distraction.”
“I’ll distract you, dumbshit,” he muttered. “You don’t get
distracted
thirty feet above concrete.”
“Dude, relax. Look down there. That’s some good mood walking, right there. If that don’t perk you up, you need medical help.”
Jax reached toward his feet, grabbed the beam, and pulled his legs out. He relaxed into the safety harness and wiped more sweat from his face. Then opened his eyes to a red Ferrari parked one hundred feet below.
His heart skipped, then sped. His gaze scanned the scene, searching for Lexi. Rubi sauntered toward the men, but his gaze held on the Ferrari, willing Lexi to step out. His banked hunger broke through and started gnawing at his raw gut. What he’d give for the mere sight of her.
“Mmm-mmm,” Troy said. “That is some sweet stuff.”
“I’m going on belay,” Jax said, taking the safety rope from Troy and switching the rigging around so he’d be secure up there alone. “I’m going down.”
“Dude, we’ve got six more pulleys—”
Jax shot Troy a look. “I’m going down.”
“Fine, fine. You’re the one who’s going to have to climb back up here.”
Jax loosened his anchor and started toward the ground. The slide lasted only seconds but felt like it took forever. His mind darted a hundred different places, but fear took the lead. He hit the ground, unhooked the safety harness, and jogged toward Rubi.
Lexi’s okay. Lexi’s okay.
As he approached Rubi, she turned. As soon as he saw her smile, all the fear drained out of him. The relief was so complete, he staggered backward a few steps before he caught himself. He braced his hands on his knees and stared at the cement until his head stopped spinning.
“Dude.” Wes’s boots came into view. “You okay?”
Jax nodded, unable to speak.
Fuck. That had hit him out of nowhere.
He’d been repressing everything so completely—how much he missed her, how empty he felt without her, how she was better off without him—it lashed back on him now like a whip.
He finally looked up and met Rubi’s frown but was still breathing hard when he asked, “Is…Lexi…okay?”
Rubi studied him with intense blue-green eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and humor. She wore skintight blue jeans that showed the perfect shape of her highway-long legs, heels that made those legs look even longer, and a halter top that showed both her flat belly and her cleavage.
Jax’s guys were tripping over themselves to take in every inch of her.
She turned to them, offered a flirtatious smile. “Can we have a minute, boys?”
The guys wandered back to their gear, muttering to each other, laughing quietly. Everyone except Wes. He crossed his arms and kept grinning like an idiot.
“You think you’re special,” she asked Wes, “don’t you, Golden Boy?”
“I know I’m special.” Wes’s grin widened. “Just ask my mama.”
That pulled a deep, rolling laugh from Rubi. She might mesmerize every other man on the site, but her playfulness was bugging the shit out of Jax.
“Wes.” Jax pulled his friend’s attention. “Get lost.”
Wes turned a lazy gaze back on Rubi. “Dinner sometime, beautiful?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Last I heard, you were taken.”
He lifted a shoulder. “We’re on a break.”
“Sorry…Wes.” Rubi drew out his name in a voice that he thought would make Wes drop to his knees, but his friend just kept grinning. “I’m not a
break
kinda girl. Besides, I hear you like
sweet
. And, handsome”—she lowered her lids—“I’m not the least bit sweet.”
“If Chamberlin can go from sour to sweet”—Wes drew a business card from his wallet—“I can certainly change my tastes to something on the tangy side.”
“Are you two done?” Jax straightened, used the bottom of his T-shirt to wipe the sweat from his face and rested his hands at his hips. “We’ve got work to do here.”
“Ignore him.” Wes sauntered over to Rubi. “He’s grouchy when he’s not getting any.”
“Wes,” Jax warned.
When Rubi ignored Wes’s card, he slid it along the edge of her halter and tucked it beneath the fabric at the curve of her breast. “My tastes are changing as we speak. Besides, I know there’s a lot more sweet beneath that tart surface than you let on. I bet you’d set my taste buds on fire.”
“You bet your rock-hard ass I would,” Rubi returned.
Wes started toward the trailer, yelling at the others, “Is it hot out here?”
He caught the bottle of water one of them threw, uncapped it and, walking backward, grinned at Rubi as he poured the water over his head.
The guys bust out laughing. And Rubi sputtered a surprised chuckle. “He is a character.”
Jax shifted on his feet. His fear had transitioned into annoyance. “Rubi,
is Lexi okay
?”
She pulled the card from her top and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans. When she looked back at Jax, her expression had sobered. Her serious gaze seemed to penetrate him. “Lexi’s a survivor.”
That wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear. That made it sound like she was struggling. He wanted Rubi to tell him that she was great. That him leaving her was the best thing that had ever happened in her life.
“Why are you here?”
She pulled a square white envelope from beneath the cross of her arms. “She asked me to deliver this.”
From five feet away, Jax could see his full name on the envelope. He didn’t like the look of that. Wedding invitations came in envelopes like that.
They’d only been apart six weeks… She couldn’t have found…
But then Jax realized he and Lexi had gone from zero to sixty in about the same amount of time, and a spear of anxiety pierced his chest.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Find out for yourself. Lexi instructed me not to open my big mouth.”
Jax took the envelope and stared at his name printed in Lexi’s hand.
“And since she’s the sister I never had and I love her more than anyone,” Rubi said, strolling back toward the Ferrari, “I’m
not
going to tell you that Lexi deserves stability in her life. I’m
not
going to tell you that she’s worthy of a guy who can merge all his sides into one unique and outstanding person the way she has.”
She opened the Ferrari door, holding his gaze. Hers was serious, deep, showing a side of her Jax guessed not many people noticed beneath all her flash and beauty. Showing him the side of her that he guessed Lexi loved so much.
“I’m
not
going to tell you to ignore this invitation if that’s not you,” she said. “I’m just going to keep my mouth shut, like I promised. And, by the way, thanks for taking care of that shit photographer.”
She turned on the sparkle, blew a kiss to Wes, who dramatically acted out getting shot in the heart and fell to the cement to the laughter of the group.
“What a hottie,” she said, affection and longing softening her voice. “Too bad I don’t go for those mama-lovin’, sun-streaked country boys who adore sweet women.”
Rubi slid into her sports car, slipped on sunglasses, and turned over the engine.
Jax didn’t move as she roared from the cement canal, and thought about the photograph that had changed everything. He’d hired a private investigator who had gotten to the bottom of it within the twelve hours he’d promised Lexi. Hardly compensation for all the trouble and stress he’d caused her, but all he’d been able to do, other than getting the hell out of her life.
Wes turned from watching the car go and settled his gaze on Jax. One look and he turned toward the guys. “I think it’s lunchtime.” Then yelled toward the bridge. “Troy, get your ass down here. We’re eating out today.”
A loud whoop sounded behind Jax, followed by the shrill grind of Troy sliding down his cable. The rest of the team loaded into nearby trucks, arguing over where they’d eat.
Wes strolled up to Jax and looked down at the invitation. “Let me just tell you now, if that’s for Lexi’s wedding, I quit.”
Jax scowled up at Wes.
“You’ve been hell to live with, dude.” Wes gave him a pitying half grin. “I won’t be able to stand you.”
“You’re not all joy and sunshine yourself,” Jax said to Wes’s back as he headed toward one of the trucks.