Authors: Rinelle Grey
M
ARLEE KEPT HER HEAD DOWN
and ate the last of her food as quietly as she could. The only sound at the table was the slurping of soup. Soon, dinner would be over, and she and Tyris could retreat to their room. The last two weeks had been mostly uneventful, and she hoped it stayed that way.
“So, did you hear the news?” Weiss actually sounded pleased. That couldn’t be good.
If she didn’t answer, Weiss would berate her for being rude. “What news?”
Her mother’s hand paused, soup halfway to her mouth. Definitely not good. The rhythm of Marlee’s heart’s speed up uncomfortably.
“Nelor’s going to be a dad. Guess you’re the faulty one after all.”
Marlee felt her heart skip a beat. She pushed back her chair. Her cutlery clattered to the floor. The blood rushing in her ears drowned out the sound.
There was a stunned silence in the room for a moment.
“Are you really that insensitive, or are you just a bastard?” Tyris snarled. He stood up beside her and slammed the palms of his hands down on the table. The cups and bowls rattled as they jumped.
Until now, he’d kept his mouth shut at Weiss’s snide comments. He’d squeezed her hand under the table, but he hadn’t said anything, just like she’d asked. But now she’d had enough. Something needed to be said. And she knew Tyris wouldn’t let fear hold him back.
“What? I’m only pointing out the obvious. Everyone’s thinking it. Marlee’s never going to give you a son. You’ve been together for nearly five months now and still nothing. She’s going to have to face the facts—she’s the one with the problem.”
His words tore at Marlee’s gut. It was true. She’d never be able to give Tyris a baby.
She wanted to run from the room, but her legs wouldn’t obey her.
“You think that’s what life is about, Weiss? That you’re only a man when you have a son?” The soft voice he used only gave his words more impact. “I care about Marlee because she is a wonderful woman, not because of any possible childbearing potential. I will care for her regardless of whether we have a child or not.”
Tears started in the back of Marlee’s eyes. She didn’t doubt Tyris spoke the truth.
“Good thing, because that’s all you’re ever going to have,” Weiss shot back. “And you won’t have that for very long, because without a baby you won’t be allowed to stay together.” He smiled a self-satisfied smile.
Why did he take such satisfaction from bringing other people down?
Marlee couldn’t bear to hear any more. She turned and fled, pushing open the door and stumbling out into the snow. She didn’t even stop to think where she was going.
She hated to admit it, but Weiss was right. She and Tyris were never going to have the chance to have a real relationship. A forever one. Why was she fooling herself? She fell to her knees in front of the well in the centre of the village, sobs wracking her body.
Footsteps crunched in the snow behind her, and someone wrapped a warm coat around her shoulders. She clutched the coat to her body and turned to bury her head into Tyris’s strong chest, wetting it with her tears. He lifted her to her feet and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get in out of the cold.”
He steered her left, and she followed blindly. When she saw the lights of the hall though, she stopped. “I don’t want to go in.” There were too many people there. She didn’t want to face any of them. How many of them were whispering behind her back about her lack of a baby? How many might be wondering if
they
would stand a better chance with Tyris?
“I know, but we can’t stay out here in the cold. The hall is better than going back.”
He had a point. She wasn’t dressed for outside, and though the woollen coat helped, the cold seeped through. The hall was better than going back near Weiss.
Thankfully, it was quiet inside. Most of the villagers were at home having dinner, and the few sitting by the fire only looked up briefly before going back to their conversations.
Tyris settled her on some cushions in a secluded corner. “Are you all right?” he asked.
Marlee tried to say she was fine. But she couldn’t get the words out around the lump in her throat. If she opened her mouth, she would cry again, and that would certainly attract attention. She settled for just nodding.
Tyris pulled her into his arms and hugged her fiercely. “I know he’s insensitive, but I still can’t believe Weiss said that,” he said. “I’m not sorry I let him have it either. He was out of line. I couldn’t just sit by and say nothing. I’ve tried to bite my tongue, but I’m over it. I won’t go back there, and I won’t let you go back either.”
Marlee stared at him blankly. A surge of relief pushed the tears back far enough for her to blink them away. “But what are we going to do?”
Tyris shrugged. “Can’t we stay here? I know it means we won’t have much privacy, but we didn’t have much at your parent’s either. We can unroll some of those mattresses we used when Jenka was having her baby and be comfortable enough.”
“No one’s ever stayed at the hall before,” Marlee said doubtfully.
“We’ll find a way, Marlee. I won’t stand by and watch anyone treat you like that.”
She broke her gaze and glanced down at her hands. “But it’s the truth.” She swallowed hard to stop the tears erupting again.
“I don’t believe it,” Tyris said firmly. “That’s not the way Karla explained it to me. She said fertility was about the compatibility between two people. It’s still entirely possible for you to have a baby.”
“It’s not just Nelor though. I can’t even get pregnant with you.” This time the tears wouldn’t be held back, but she kept talking in between her sobs. “I know we only slept together once, and I told myself over and over not to hope, that it wasn’t possible. But I’m not pregnant. It has to be me.”
She knew she wasn’t being rational. Knew that having sex once wasn’t enough to prove anything. But she couldn’t help herself.
Tyris didn’t say anything and his hand patting her back stilled. When she looked up, his mouth was twisted into an ugly line. “It’s not you Marlee. It’s me.”
“What?” She stared at him in disbelief.
“I’m sorry.” Tyris said softly. “I should’ve told you sooner. I tried to, right after we slept together. But the roof fell in before I could, and there hasn’t been a chance to talk since. Back on my planet, I wasn’t allowed to have children. I have an implant that prevents it.”
“You mean you physically can’t have children?”
“Not while the implant is in, no.”
“Can it be removed?”
Tyris hesitated then nodded. “Probably.” He searched her face. “Is that what you want?”
What did she want?
In some ways, it was a relief. She could sleep with him without the anxiety of wondering if she was pregnant each month or not. Knowing the outcome brought a sense of certainty to her life. A certainty that until this moment had been entirely lacking.
Of course, part of that certainty included the fact that they could never stay together. Was that a price she was willing to pay? Four months ago she would have said yes. Now she wasn’t so sure. There was a downside to safety. Without risk, she had no chance at lasting happiness.
“Maybe,” she said.
Tyris nodded. “It doesn’t really matter right now. We need to be settled back in our own place again before we can discuss it properly.” He squeezed her shoulders, and his words comforted her a little. They still had time to decide.
They sat in the corner of the hall, watching the comings and goings of the other villagers for a while. Marlee’s mind wouldn’t sit still. It flipped from worry over what would happen if they didn’t have a child, to panic at the thought of making a decision to actually try, to worrying about where they were going to stay for the next two months.
Just then, her mother walked into the hall, scanned the room, and headed straight for them. Marlee tensed.
“I’m glad to see you had the sense to get Marlee in out of the cold,” she said to Tyris. “But much as I could admire your standing up to Weiss, it wasn’t the best timing. He’s not too happy at all about letting you back into the house.”
Panic gripped Marlee at the thought of going back. She clutched Tyris’s hand. He squeezed it back reassuringly. “I’m sorry to have put you out,” he said politely to Yasmyn, “but we won’t be coming back.”
The look on her mother’s face would have been funny if Marlee hadn’t been so nervous. “There’s nothing to be gained by being stubborn, Tyris. I know Weiss has his problems, but we work together here in this village. Marlee’s my daughter. I won’t see her homeless.”
“I think she would rather be homeless than live in fear of constant harassment,” Tyris said quietly.
Yasmyn’s eyes widened. Then she frowned. “Marlee needs to grow a thicker skin,” she said flatly. “If she didn’t react so spectacularly, Weiss wouldn’t tease her so much.”
That’s what her mother had told her growing up.
Don’t react. It only makes him tease you more.
But it didn’t matter how much she tried, she couldn’t ignore Weiss’s comments. The only thing that had helped was getting out of his house as soon as she could. There was no way she’d go back now.
“Marlee is perfect just the way she is,” Tyris said firmly. “No one should have to change who they are to stop someone abusing them. I won’t stand by and watch it anymore.”
A glint of something gleamed in her mother’s eye. Admiration? “What are you going to do then?” she asked.
Marlee breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t going back.
“I thought we could stay here at the hall,” Tyris said. “I know it’s not normal, but we could keep out of everyone’s way, I think.”
Yasmyn frowned. Then sighed. “I’ll bring you some blankets,” she said. It was a tacit agreement to their plan even if it was obvious she didn’t like it.
By the time she returned with an armful of blankets, the hall was a little more crowded. Marlee and Tyris must have been giving off a ‘leave us alone’ vibe, because until then, no one had stopped for more than a nod. But when he saw the blankets, Nerris came across the room.
“What are the blankets for? Are you planning on sleeping here tonight?”
He was plainly teasing, but when Tyris replied, “Yup,” the grin disappeared from his face.
He looked at Yasmyn then back at them. He rubbed his beard. “You know, Janey and I have an empty room, now that Nelor has moved in with Brenda. I’m glad he’s happy, but we really do miss his help around the house. We’re both getting on, and having a couple of youngsters around would be a real pleasure—if you’re looking for somewhere to stay?”
Tyris and Marlee exchanged a glance. “Can you give us a minute to talk about it?” Tyris asked.
Norris promptly nodded and he and Yasmyn wandered some distance away.
“What do you think?” Tyris asked.
“It’s better than staying here,” Marlee said. “Janey and Nerris are lovely people. Staying there will be far more pleasant than staying with Weiss.”
Tyris nodded readily. “It sounds like the perfect solution to me.”
*****
T
HAT NIGHT, AS
T
YRIS CUDDLED
up to Marlee in the small bed that had once belonged to Nelor, he felt a little weird. “Did you and Nelor stay here together?” he asked.
Marlee’s body tensed beside him. He felt her nod in the darkness. “We did, while the house was being built. It seems so long ago.” Her voice sounded far away.
“Is it strange, being here with me instead?”
“A little,” she admitted softly.
He should stop now, before he heard something he didn’t want to hear. But he couldn’t. “Do you wish you were here with him now?” He hoped his voice sounded normal and relaxed. He suspected it didn’t.
“No, of course not.” Her reply was so swift it dispelled any doubts. “I cared about Nelor. We were best friends. We’ve known each other since we were kids. But the way I felt about him doesn’t even come close to the way I feel about you.”
She didn’t give any name to the feelings, and Tyris didn’t push for one. He had too many conflicting feelings himself.
He hadn’t expected to find himself caring for Marlee. Not like this. And he was even more amazed at the way she seemed to care for him in return. The more time he spent with her, the more he realised what an amazing woman she was.
He couldn’t believe how well she’d taken the news of his contraceptive implant. Milandra would have made it all his fault and been angry that he hadn’t said anything. She
had
blamed him. But Marlee wasn’t like that.
Despite the hardships she’d faced here on this planet, she was kind and forgiving to a fault. He couldn’t wait until they could get back to her home—no,
their home
—repaired, and have some time alone. All the reservations he’d had about removing his implant chip melted away, and for the first time, he considered it without fear.
Somehow, he could see himself staying here. Making a home for himself and Marlee, working with the other villagers, and raising a family. It was a far cry from the life he’d always imagined for himself, but it felt right.
These people were different to the ones on Urslat. They cared for each other and worked together. Most of them anyway. He scowled, thinking of Weiss’s treatment of Marlee earlier. What was the man doing here? It was obvious that Nerris, or whoever had organised the evacuation, had picked people specifically. The space on the ship had been limited, so everyone must have a reason for being here, either because they were friends, or because they had a useful skill. Why Weiss?
“What possible reason did Nerris and the others have for inviting Weiss here with them?” Tyris asked. “I mean, everyone here has some skill to offer or are close to someone who does. Why was Weiss invited?”
“He wasn’t,” Marlee said promptly. “He was already here.”
“Already on the planet?” Tyris frowned. That didn’t make sense. “Why?”
“He was the head anysogen miner. Half a dozen miners were stranded here on the planet when the governor left Semala. None too happy about it either. They had to survive a whole winter alone before we arrived. Several of them didn’t make it.”